Why It Makes More Sense For Women To Pursue Men

[Careless_Whisper]

The reason for this is because women are too fussy. When men approach or chase women, it seems that women will disqualify a man over the most ridiculous thing. "He was a little too overbearing," or "His beard was a bit too long," or "He asked for my number too quickly." Is it any wonder why so many men are afraid to approach women?

Another reason it makes more sense for women to pursue men is because it's usually easier for a woman to get a man than for a man to get a woman. It seems that most women today prefer the man to be the one to ask them out or pursue them, which is why so many women end up being single for a long time. The mindset of many women is, "If he hasn't got the balls to ask me out then he'snot worth dating." But like I said, women are so fussy today that many men are afraid to ask a woman out.

A man is far more likely to be turned down. It's usually easier for a woman to get a man interested. Women are naturally more attractive than men and therefore the don't have to work as hard at getting a man interested. For most men, it can be difficult getting a woman to choose him over all the other guys. So it makes far more sense for women to do the choosing, but also being the ones who ask the men out. But instead, women remain stubborn and allow the men to do the pursuing, and it's usually the assholes and bad boys who have the most confidence when approaching women.

In my experience being a former bouncer at pubs and clubs, the best way to get a woman interested is to ignore them and pay them no attention. In the past I had quite a lot of women chat me up for simply showing no interest. I just don't see any point in a man chasing a woman these days.

[Anonymous]

It would make sense considering the whole feminism thing has been taken to a huge extreme in this modern age and has gone past giving women rights and just putting men down for no other reason than to humiliate them. Women expect men to approach but then shame them when they do. Men are called creepy or aggressive. If it's such an issue for one gender to approach (men) then the other gender should do it since that would solve this endemic. But the thing is approaching sucks. Men know it women know it and that's why they don't do it. Because they know they can get away with not doing it. Women can be passive and just wait for things to come to them because it usually does unless you're one of those minority of women who are unlucky and don't get things coming to them. Most men cannot have this same privilege and have to chase after what they want or they'll be miserable and alone until they die. I think this is why male suicide rates are happening in record numbers now. Having to be the chaser is actually that bad.

We do live in a catch 22 nowadays and it's really only getting worse.

[damnwinter]

Every person should just do what feels comfortable for them. Don't make this into some weird attack against women, no one is doing this to harm you/men as a whole. It's not that easy to escape a $£$%"%^"-year old pattern. Things will slowly fall into place, actually they are already starting to. The world HAS socially changed, it it just a fairly long process. I honestly hope you'll feel better soon and that you will approach/be approached by friendlier women in the future. :)

[ManOnFire]

No, I still think guys should do the approaching. Everything you're talking about, really just helps feed women's egos, and when guys are talking on and on about how hard it is to get a woman and how picky women are, we really just entertain their egos. Women know that guys are "working" to get their attention, and they know we're taught that they're harder to get, and they get off on it. They like the idea that we have to work for them, and we just keep entertaining that.

I still feel that guys should be the ones to approach women, and just because one or 5 turned you down doesn't mean others will. Rejection hurts women far more than it hurts men, because women are taught that they can get any guy, and when it doesn't happen they wonder why. So I don't want to make it easier on a woman's ego by letting her come approach me.

[Careless_Whisper]

I've always rejected women. I love it.

[damnwinter]

Mystery solved, so you want to be pursued so that you can refuse them. Way to go, I see a bright future coming your way. LMAO.

[ManOnFire]

@damnwinter Lol.

[dominiquois]

Actually by approaching them it's then you're entertaining a woman's ego not the other way around. Women don't approach men SPECIFICALLY because it crushes their ego. When a woman approaches a guy it makes her wonder why she has to approach HIM. She begins to be insecure because guys are not approaching her so she will start to think it's because she's unattractive.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois I'm not talking about a woman's ego being rubbed if a guy approaches or not - though it definitely does get rubbed when a guy does approach, I'm saying that by guys whining about how hard it is to approach women, that in itself satisfies their egos because they like the idea that they're making it hard for guys to get a girl.

Women have larger egos than men on a far greater level when it comes to dating and attraction. This is true because rejection hurts women much more than vice versa, because women are taught that most guys will want them, so when one doesn't a woman wonders why.

[dominiquois]

Oh ok I see what you're saying.
Tbh rejection bothers the girls that have been told their pretty/beautiful their entire life because those type of girls come to expect the preferential treatment since that's all they receive.
Often times girls going through an awkward stage before turning into a swan is a blessing because it usually makes them less entitled and princess-like.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois In some sense that's true, though on another side, a girl can have a big ego even if she's not beautiful and not told she's beautiful. A woman can think a man wants to have sex with her even she's not even attractive, but an unattractive man won't think that. That's the difference between men and women, and another indication of the female ego.

[dominiquois]

Yeah I can see that happening for several reasons.
First, it doesn't help that many guys will sleep with ANYONE far more than girls are willing to
Second, she could be delusional I think that if you look in the mirror you can tell whether you're attractive or not. It's not that hard in my opinion.
Finally, she could (in this ties in with point #2) use her high ego to boost her otherwise poor self-esteem.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois Guys sleep with girls who they're attracted to, not anyone. If guys really slept with anyone they'd sleep with any female around them regardless of age, gender, body weight, etc. Also, it's females who are more willing to sleep with those people, as I think I pointed out with you somewhere else. It's females who will cross gender lines for sex more often than men, and will sleep with someone regardless of looks if there's money involved or anything a woman would think she benefits from in some way. Not men.

Beauty is subjective, so just because a girl might look in the mirror and think she's attractive, doesn't mean everybody else does. And just because 10 guys said she's hot, doesn't mean 10 or more think she is.

[dominiquois]

Women (and men) who are promiscuous (same gender or not) or are gold diggers are that way because they have no moral values NOT because of their gender.

Beauty is objective to a large degree too. Obviously not even the people considered the most beautiful will have everyone like them but they can most certainly tell if are attractive/not ugly. I have a hard time believing Adriana Lima, Megan Fox or Beyonce will not know they're attractive, sorry. It is objective to a larger degree than it is subjective.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois So first you say GUYS will sleep with anyone, now you say anyone who is promiscuous is such because of poor morals, not because of gender.

Objective beauty is more of a media thing. None of those women are attractive to me at all Adrianna, Megan, or Beyonce, and are only said to be because they're in the media. If they were actually average everyday women who worked at Walmart, most of us wouldn't think twice about them. And I'm pretty sure if you talk to a lot of average guys and ask them what they think, many would probably tell you they don't think those women are special either.

So again. Whether Megan Fox looks in the mirror and thinks she's goodlooking or not, still isn't going to stop other people from thinking she's not. In other words, I don't care if you think you're all the shit, but you might want to care that I don't, because you could make a fool of yourself thinking I want you.

[dominiquois]

I didn't say all guys will sleep with anyone I said some of them just like with women. I just mentioned guys because that's why they were talking about it. I do believe it comes down to complete lack of morals.

The media and fashion have a lot of marketing behind them so they employ men and women people usually find attractive, that have universal appeal.
It wouldn't matter if you didn't find Adriana or Megan attractive because you would very well be in the minority. I doubt those type of women would lose any sleep at night. Simply because the most important person to impress, I truly believe, is yourself. You could be gorgeous and if you don't believe it then nobody could help you.
It's easier to love yourself when you look like them than if you were to look like Lena Dunham. Beauty still has objectivity and most people prefer to look at certain faces more than others. Of course there will be opposition always but it wouldn't detract from the attention either of those women get.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois Still not gonna work. I say again, they're deemed attractive because they're celebrities, and if they weren't people wouldn't think of them as universally beautiful. I wouldn't care if my opinion of them kept them up at night or not, but when you put them on a very real everyday level, their appeal is gonna be different in a lot of people's eyes. Sure, there were still be lots who think they're sexy, but let them be told they're plain by all the people who think so and it'll make them think about things. This is because when people are regularly told what they want to hear, they're fine with that, and they don't think twice about it. But it will always be the "uncommon" opinion that winds up staying stuck on their minds.

I saw you once saying somewhere that you're Iranian, and I know that Iranian women typically are arrogant when it comes to their opinion of themselves, so I guess it doesn't really surprise me that you would have that mindset.

[dominiquois]

Those women would be considered beautiful whether they were in the media or not saying they wouldn't be is just lying to yourself. You might not find them attractive but you'd be considered the exception. What any society considers beautiful is what shapes the perception so its the masses that decide what they will or will not accept as beautiful.
When the hell did I say I was Iranian? I'm Native American not Iranian. I KNOW I'm pretty but I also know some people won't like me and I really don't care.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois No, they would still mostly be considered beautiful as celebrities. And it doesn't really matter if I'm the exception or not because most of the women people think are beautiful in the media are not beautiful. What society considers beautiful is almost always shaped by the media, not by reality. And often times the masses have the wrong idea, so whether I'm in the minority or not makes no difference to me nor does it mean the majority is right.

Yes, I figured you thought you were beautiful, and you do care what people think, and this is because you're still female and at the end of the day you will still care what people think about your looks. So if I walked up to you and told you you're really just very plain, you're going to care about that above anyone else thinking you're pretty because women react to criticism, especially when their ego and sense of self-worth is tied to it. Your ego is far more sensitive and fragile as a woman than mine is as a guy.

[dominiquois]

Well beauty anywhere in the world is shaped by the media. In tribes back in the day it would be shaped by religion or what the majority found attractive so I don't get your point?
I'm going to be honest I actually used to care what people said about my appearance but then I grew thick skin and realized that not everyone is going to like me, its impossible, and that the only opinion that matters is mine and of the people I love as cliche as that sounds. Im not going to have an aneurysm because some idiot decides to be rude.
Sadly this society places a lot of value on looks in general not just of women and to me thats a really empty way to live. You can still be a liked person eve if your looks are ideal. Looks do in fact fade and what matters is the contributions the person offers as well as how they treats others. in my opinion.

[dominiquois]

*even if your looks aren't ideal

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois "Well beauty anywhere in the world is shaped by the media. In tribes back in the day it would be shaped by religion or what the majority found attractive so I don't get your point?" - So first you tell me that beauty is objective and that there are features and looks that are just universally seen as beautiful, now you tell me that beauty is shaped by the media because I said that. My point is, just because our idea of beauty is shaped by the media or religion or whatever, doesn't make it correct. The blue-eyed Aryan blonde image is hailed as the epitome of beauty in the West, when it is far from beautiful, but people think so because of the media.

"Im not going to have an aneurysm because some idiot decides to be rude. " - Is it that he's being rude? Or is it that what he says is inconvenient for you because it's not pretty?

[dominiquois]

Its objective to a degree but is also subjective (like physical specifics).
Some physical features are universal indicators of health and fertility like harmony, symmetry and order. Those are facts. Close to nobody is going to find a deformed person physically beautiful anywhere in the world at anytime in history.

Do you not know what social manners are? You don't fucking criticize people (unless its constructive) for no reason. Its called being rude. I'd smack someone across the face for insulting me out of the blue like that so they would learn some respect.

[ManOnFire]

@dominiquois But you assume because someone is telling you they don't think you're that special that they're doing it to be rude.

[dominiquois]

I don't care if they don't think I'm special, I'd just be like whatever but if they do it to be rude then thats when it becomes a problem because they are just being disrespectful.

[redeyemindtricks]

I mean, look, dude, if something has happened in X way since time immemorial, then, there must be SOME good reason for it, right?

Most of us want a dude who's a decision-maker and -- at least in important, the-chips-are-down situations -- a go-getter.
The approach symbolizes that, so, the approach communicates valuable information about whether the dude has that important quality.

I mean, lots of guys like watching bad-ass female action heroes, but, at the end of the day, that's a quality that isn't as important to men at a base level.

In fact, lots of men have such a strong protective instinct that they'd want essentially the OPPOSITE of this, in a woman.
... yep. Basically, lots of men are attracted to the type of woman who'd be totally helpless in a dangerous situation if he wasn't around. I think that's weird, but, it is what it is.

In any case, though, it's worth thinking about why things are the way they are, when they've been that way for 6.5 forevers already.

[CoolSky01]

I kinda agree with both of you as a man myself i want to ask the girl out and i want to lead the way and i have in the past but he got something right... lots of girls these days are kinda... too mean to be approached they dont show signs they act really mean and then expect guys to approach which doesn't usually end well... iam a confident guy i truly dont care how hot the girl is or how succeesful she is a human being, iam not an ass but girls are human beings too, i believe that girls getting little nicer and more clear would go a long way if they truly want guys to approach, i've had suceesful and failed approaches in the past and despite most girls i meet finding me very good looking, approaching a girl and doing all the hard work puts a strain on any man if he doesn't even see any signs of interest ( which usually happens ) these days i wait for signs, really strong ones before making a move i dont want to repeat my mistakes.

[CoolSky01]

and tbh i want to be the one approaching girls but i want somekind of a sign that she at least likes me

[redeyemindtricks]

@CoolSky01
Mb you are not as good as you could be at reading those signs of attraction.

Do you have friends who are girls? Who could better clue you in on what to look for, etc?
Or even who could just be like "She liiiiiikes you", like it's 4th grade again?

[CoolSky01]

I dont have girl friends never saw the point if i do get few i would want to sleep with them later so i avoid the drama... I mean i do have some female friends but not close friends we dont text often or go to places together not like my guy friends, but i do have guy friends who have lots of close female friends whom i know so indriectly i can know what they know, iam not the best at reading women and honestly no man is we will always make mistakes but so far i've been doing good, not perfect but i can tell if she likes me or not.

[dragonfly6516]

A man choosing to pursue a woman has little to do with his "decision making" skills. I know several alpha males that don't chase at all. They wait for the girls to come to them, because they always do. Then they watch these girls, study them, and slowly weed out the superficial women who only want them for looks or money, and chose the girls that are really trying to get to know them, and build something real.

[redeyemindtricks]

@dragonfly6516 lol @ a woman actually using the phrase "alpha males" non-ironically. rly?

[dragonfly6516]

I'm using the term correctly for what it means, as it is meant to be used There is a huge difference between "dominant" and "controlling". Weak people are controlling, strong people are dominant. Alpha males are leaders, dominant. Weak men tend to "chase" and court women; confident men attract women. "Alpha-males" are naturally confident and self assured. That's what you were describing as ideal.

[Careless_Whisper]

@dragonfly6516 I think women today are just too fussy. If the woman finds the guy attractive and the guy treats her well, that should be enough. Women today are just to picky and I can't see things getting any better.

[dragonfly6516]

Again, I agree. I'm happy just knowing he's with me for me, and not just to have someone, anyone, and that he's not with me to gain something for selfish purposes.

That's my problem with most people these days, when it comes to dating. Too many people are too desperate, or have too high expectations. They either want someone who is wrong for them and try to change them, or they expect other people to love/take care of them when they can't even take the time to work on their own self love and independance.

[benthurber]

I agree that men should cowboy the eff up and pursue a girl, Red, but. I think the game has been unbalanced with Western women becoming more and more dominating and men becoming more and more submissive.

Throw on the pyre that marriage is now an afterthought for many and sex has become an incredibly devalued commodity; it's not hard to believe that women just don't behave [on average] today the way they did a century ago.

(Personal life update: Still dealing with codependent tendencies, but just starting dating this new girl. She's sooo submissive and yet not a doormat. I'm really digging it versus the ball-busters I've been chasing before.)

[damnwinter]

@dragonfly6516 yeah but those have no reason to complain about girls not approaching :))))) lmao.

[koko124]

"I mean, look, dude, if something has happened in X way since time immemorial, then, there must be SOME good reason for it, right?"

Can we do away with those pesky vaccinations, sanitation systems, and women's rights then? After all, even now much of the world lacks these things, and they've only come about in the last century or so.

[Azara]

a guy approaching symbolizes hews horny nothing else... and maybe he likes her maybe he just feel like getting sex..

if a woman goes to a guy, good chance she actually likes the guy.

plus its safer bc 90% of rape is not from women.

[CoolSky01]

@Azara So let me understand what every girls is saying... they want a strong, tough, nice, caring, good looking and dominant man, but he should not approach them and he should wait for them to like him enough to do the approaching...

Also did you really have to play the rape card? its really old and doesn't work these days.

[benthurber]

@CoolSky01 I know, riiight? It's hard enough to keep rape under control when talking to a girl. After all, I'm talking to her, I therefore only want sex, all of the sex, and nothing but the sex.

[redeyemindtricks]

@benthurber @coolsky just like y'all gotta watch yr wallets and jewelry when you say hello to random girls, right? bc they AFTER that shit. lol
like being on the beach in Ipanema at 3AM

[benthurber]

Jewelry? *Quirks an eyebrow in your direction* :)

My wallet had been stolen on a date once before. I'm pretty sure it was the group of Arab immigrants that bumped into me while boarding the ferry in Potomac Harbor, but. She did turn out to be a bit of a sociopath, so I'm not sure I should rule her out.

[damnwinter]

I keep seeing these takes and posts and questions basically saying that this chasing game should change. Sorry, but I don't see why. Not even after reading this take. Things have been this way for a long time now, I agree that there is an expectation for men to do the chasing. And I totally admit that as a woman I am loving it, and I am not into that whole feminazi crap either. However, let's admit that a lot of women chase men too. Just thinking about the number of women hitting on my taken boyfriend makes me go nuts. They are there and they are often very slutty. Just you know, keep an eye out :D :)) lol.

[ManOnFire]

I agree with you.

[johnbackerson]

It's true... depending on your location and environment

[Kirah]

I have seen many, many relationships. Only one of them started by the woman approaching the man, and that's the relationship I am currently in.

I'm sorry, but a *vast* majority of women still refuse to approach. At least you are willing to admit your sexism.

[Careless_Whisper]

@Kirah Go away feminist

[damnwinter]

As long as enjoying to be pursued counts as sexism. Still looking for the logic in that. But hey who needs logic when you have 'feminism' :))

[Careless_Whisper]

yawn

[damnwinter]

yup, logic used to bore a lot of the people in my high school as well

[Careless_Whisper]

yawn!!

[Kirah]

@Careless_Whisper "feminist"? I'm not a feminist, far from it actually.

@damnwinter I'm not a feminist, don't jump to conclusions. Preferring to be approached isn't sexist, but saying "men should pursue women and never the other way around" IS sexist.

[steven7890789]

@Kirah I agree damnwinter is a sexist for thinking men should be the only ones approaching and yet I bet she wants things to be equal between men and women. Hypocrite.

[Sad_Onion]

women are more picky because its an evolution thing. men can reproduce as much as they want. the strongest male can impregnate all the women in his harem in order to father as many kids as he can. this way he has the best chance of having his offspring survive. men aren't picky because from an evolutionary point of view they dont have to be. they, dont have to wait long periods of time to breed.

on the other hand, women can only bear young once a year (roughly). as a result, they need to be picky and will choose the strongest, fittest male as he will provide the best genes. this means she has the best chance of her offspring surviving.

but we're human i hear you say... we are capable of concious thought!!! well yes and no. we are still bound by instinct no matter how human we are. this is why (generally speaking or course, not all of us.) men will fuck anything that moves. its beneficial to inseminate as many as women as possible, where as women tend to be more picky in general.

we are animals at the end of the day, and no matter how much we deny it we still have that animal instinct.

[Careless_Whisper]

I disagree, especially the foolish myth that humans are really animals. You could have fooled me.

[Sad_Onion]

if we're not animals, what are we?

we are great apes, and our cousins are the other great apes.

[Careless_Whisper]

We are human beings not animals

[Sad_Onion]

humans evolved on this planet alongside other animals. we are animals... you are clearly uneducated when it comes to evolution.

google scholar is your friend :) do some research

[Careless_Whisper]

I have done plenty of research which is why I know that macro evolution is a myth that you have fallen for. It is science-fiction. Humans did not evolve from apes and mammals, and sea creatures. Humans are a special creation which is why humans are intellectually superior. You have been brainwashed by atheist anti-science fiction.

[damnwinter]

this myth seems to work well when one claims 'men need variety' in terms of women, so why wouldn't it work now as well?

[dominiquois]

This is true.

[dominiquois]

Humans are spliced with ape and alien DNA (probably Annunaki) as well with a reptilian base for our brain, probably grey aliens as well for other parts of the brain. We're hybrids. The Egyptians knew this. This is why one of their creator gods, Thoth (Anunnaki-Atlantean as well), sacred animal is an ape. Our souls might be from somewhere else but our bodies were definitely created using earth materials.

[PrincessTashaaaa]

I feel like the whole thing is over-complicated. If a guy or girl likes someone, they should drop a hint and leave it in the other person's basket to decide what to do with. In a club, for instance, it never hurts to just start some casual small talk with someone. Then pay attention to their body language and choice of conversation to see if you maybe have a chance. I think people take this stuff way too seriously. Just have fun with it and have fun meeting new people. It seems like guys get rejected a lot more inky because a lot more guys make the first move. If it were equal, equal amounts of men and women would be getting shut down.
But it's not okay to rudely shut someone down, finless they're being creepy like straight up asking if you want to go back to their place or something. If someone shows interest in you and you don't like them that way, politely decline but continue to ask if they're enjoying their night anyway. You don't have to call a guy an asshole just for asking to buy you a drink, but you do have to let him know that drink won't get him anywhere.

[Joc4Position]

Why is that picture used so much?

ret.asia/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/63787234.jpg

You said it seems like most women of today prefer the man be the one who ask them out. It's true. However, that's been going on for hundreds of years. It's not new by any sense.

I think people don't realize that it's easier for women to get sex from guys, but it's easier for guys to get friendships from women. It is. Now you may think that's not a fair trade, but I think so. Females typically need more social attention than men. Females typically need more social support.

I don't think women are naturally more attractive than men. It's just our two brains work differently (which I alluded to earlier).

Females have asked me out before, but I'll admit it's rare. I agree with your last few points. At some point I just quit caring to approach. If it happens it happens, but I don't try to force anything. It works easier for me anyway because I'm shy, but I've also noticed that it allows for women to pursue more or to show more interest. Not every guy is like that though, and some guys like to pursue. I know some guys who pursue a lot and are successful at it. They don't look overly attractive to me either.

In conclusion I just think guys need to know that they shouldn't feel they have to pursue. If it's not who you are then don't force yourself to do it.

[dragonfly6516]

Even as a submissive female who prefers an alpha type male to be in charge in my relationships, I completely agree with you.

The notion of men always making the first move is based on the outdated custom of the man having to "court" a woman, win her affection, and the respect of her father, to gain marriage rights; this tradition is based on obtaining more land/wealth/power through her father.

Men no longer own women, and fathers/husbands no longer own all the property/power in a marriage.

With more and more women taking on higher paid leadership positions in the workforce, why shouldn't we women do just as much chasing?

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

A lot of women do hit on men , myself included. BUT what men don't seem to realize women are going to pursue men she finds attractive, visually at first sight. so if you look like Jimmy Fallon , the likely hood of you getting hit on will be lower than of you look like young Johnny depp. Women have a risk factor when approaching men, is he attractive enough that I will risk being rejected and be able to be o. k with that. Anyway, that's how I see it, some women may not agree, some men may hate what I have to say but from my point of view and how I've seen women work this is my conclusion

[alfonsosloan45]

Haha, you fear rejection? Then you expect men to be confident?

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@alfonsosloan45 .. your not understanding men have to slightly attracted to a woman. women however need to be fully attracted to you to approach you. We just aren't going to approach some own we don't find hot

[alfonsosloan45]

I understand that but then you said ". Women have a risk factor when approaching men, is he attractive enough that "I will risk being rejected" and be able to be o. k with that."

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@alfonsosloan45 see, I was trying to make guy a feel better by adding in that rejected part, vs she ain't going to approach you cause she isn't attracted

[alfonsosloan45]

I would rather it just be blunt.

[dragonfly6516]

Speak for yourself. I couldn't care less about what a man looks like when deciding how I feel about him. I have to be mentally attracted to a man before I can find him physically attractive.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@dragonfly6516 we are talking about approaching men, oh don't know his personality when you go up to him. and I'm sure I said that some women may not agree in my last sentence or two

[Careless_Whisper]

@dragonfly6516 How the hell do you become mentally attracted to someone?

[ManOnFire]

@Dulcedulcexoxo Women are definitely visual like men, I just wish they'd stop denying it. I hear what you're saying, definitely. But women tell guys that they're not as visual as we are, so guys think that's true, when women are really just lying and creating confusion.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@ManOnFire women are less visual when it comes to her liking someone. Like it's like a smoke and mirrors affect, like guys can over look a girl who's face isn't attractive if her body is. its kinda like that in a way

[Careless_Whisper]

@ManOnFire Women are less visual than men. I don't know how anyone with a shred of intelligence could deny that. That's why it's mostly men who watch porn and look at porn magazines, a lot more than women do. It's just as ridiculous as saying that women commit rape just as much as men. It's just not true. Let's stay in reality.

[dragonfly6516]

By talking to them, and getting to know them. Having common hobbies, interests, and goals. By agreeing with their views, beliefs, and opinions.

It means I'm attracted to their personality, not their body.

[dragonfly6516]

I don't approach strangers seeking romance. When I meet a man for the first time, I get to know him a bit, and decide if I even want friendship with him before going any further. I guess I'm weird for paying it safe?

[ArtDent]

@MyTakeOwner the existence of porn is just evidence of a lack of options for many men, not evidence that men are more visual. Women don't need porn because they can get laid whenever they want.

[Careless_Whisper]

@ArtDent That'snot true and completely bogus because women don't go out seeking sex the way men do, and you are now blocked for posting repeated lies and stupidity. Everyone with a brain knows that men are more visual than women.

[ManOnFire]

@Dulcedulcexoxo No, I still think women are pretty visual, yeah. I think they try to compartmentalize visuality in themselves and between men and them, overcomplicating things more than is really necessary. If women can be visual with each other - noticing the way they look and even thinking other women can be visually appealing, then I think they can do the same thing with men, and do.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@ManOnFire You definitely have a point how women can be visual with each other. But I think we are so visual with each other because we have this primal thing that comes out that sees each other as competition. But in all honesty Im not sure why we aren't as visual with men, I dont think men would in anyway benfit from it, if women where keeping it 100.

[ManOnFire]

@Dulcedulcexoxo I think women are just as visual, but refuse to really admit it because they don't want to seem "shallow" like they view men for being for looking at women, so they aren't open about it. Females have a psychological complex where they want to seem above being or doing anything like men unless it profits or credits them in some way. Which is one reason why I think the female ego is bigger than the male. And I don't think it would ever be a matter of whether men benefit from it or not, they'd just be openly noticed like we openly notice women.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@ManOnFire I have to say you are wrong. As a female, I do not know why im not as visual with men as i am with women. But i do believe its biological. It could be because we are taught looks aren't everything and if he treats you right that is all that matters. But I mean its something we can keep debating about because I would like to see the psychology behind it

[ManOnFire]

@Dulcedulcexoxo But that's just it, women see looks as worth, often much more than men. YOU may not be very visual but I can tell you a lot of women are. I remember talking to a woman on okcupid once who - when I asked her out of curiosity why she wasn't interested in me - outright said my looks had to do with it. And that was the FIRST thing she noted. It didn't bother me, because I actually liked her honesty and found it interesting, and because there have still been other women who think I'm sexy and handsome even though I don't think I'm special.

I think women are more OPENLY visual about other women than men because they have an above-that attitude where they feel they'd rather notice looks in their own gender than in ours. I remember a woman I once knew said she thinks women are definitely visual and hates that people say they aren't. And a friend of mine said she thinks women are visual but it doesn't get catered to by the media.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

@ManOnFire I still don't agree with that one day their might be psychology that explains it

[ManOnFire]

@Dulcedulcexoxo And you don't have to, and wouldn't really make any difference if you did. The truth is still the truth even if no one believes it. And I wouldn't want to leave it in the hands of psychology to explain because they're often full of error in their "studies" and philosophy.

[LittleSally]

I agree it makes more sense for people who are extremely fussy and have impossible standards to go after exactly what they want - men and women... not JUST women.

"Women are naturally more attractive than men and therefore the don't have to work as hard at getting a man interested." - however, can't say I agree with this one at all...

[Careless_Whisper]

Well, you're wrong.

[ManOnFire]

@Careless_Whisper Dude, you need to understand that it's mostly guys who think women don't have to work at looking good or being attractive. A lot of women don't really think it's that easy for them.

[thorthorley]

I think women do end up chasing the guy they like and I guess i agree that it makes more sense that way. Maybe not for the reasons you gave but it works better that way. However, i dont think that women asking out guys is a part of this. I think chasing them and spending time with the guy they like is good but not so far as asking them out. The guy should end up asking the woman out.

[Careless_Whisper]

Who says the guy should ask the woman out? Who invented this rule?

[abzence]

The reason why some women are fussy about little things is because they know that if they reject this guy, there will shortly be a new one to replace him.

If women all of a sudden did all the asking out, it would not take very long until men also became fussy. Because they, just like women, would realize that soon another woman would come along and ask him out.

It becomes a waiting game for the passive.

[damnwinter]

Not every guy is viewed as replaceable :) maybe only for women who don't even bother to look - and those are not women who are worth your time, because they will never truly notice anyone.

[abzence]

Obviously not "every" guy is replaceable.
Just every guy until the girl find the guy that she doesn't find replaceable. It's just the basics of supply and demand.

[Kirah]

I feel like I'm the only woman these days who approaches men.

I think both genders should start pursuing each other equally.

[Anonymous]

I don't think women are more attractive, you think that because you are a man! Do you think men don't do that with women who ask them out? They sure do!! I have a lot of male friends who are like "that girl asked me out but she's probably desperate if she did that" ... we're all in the same situation. Just do whatever you're more comfortable with and if you like someone enough to risk your ego and ask them out, do it. If you're a man or a woman, what do you care.

[Careless_Whisper]

I think most rational people acknowledge that women are more attractive than men. Even in the animals kingdom the female birds often are very pretty with lots of different colours, while the male birds are often dull coloured. That's why the female body is the biggest marketing industry in the world. It's not rocket science.

[Opinion Owner]

you're mistaken. Male birds have colors and females are the ones that are plain. Google it! Women are more attractive because they wear make up and clothes that make them more attractive, it's easier to look more attractive as a woman (not natural though) men - to me - are more attractive naturally as they look good without make up or all the extra stuff women do to their hair and so on

[WhatAreYouReading]

Birds
Sexual Advantage
In order to ensure reproduction, males develop more attractive features so they can more easily attract a mate. Female birds may see the degree of color in a male bird as a sign of his physical state and how well he can provide for them. For example, more nutritive seeds in a bird's diet enhance pigment color.

Territory

Colors can also be used to mark territory. Red-winged blackbirds, which have a red spot they use to show other males to indicate a territory is taken and that they are willing to fight to preserve it. This spot is only shown to males of the same species and can be hidden so as to not attract predators.

Protection

Female birds while pregnant or nesting are more at risk for being attacked by predators. Darwin theorized that giving the females a more dull appearance allows them to blend in more easily with their surroundings. This allows them to lay eggs, and then raise the subsequent chicks, allowing for species growth.

[Careless_Whisper]

I was actually thinking about a special type of bird, not all birds in general, so that was my mistake. But the biggest marketing industry is the female body because female are more attractive, even without makeup. What you're saying is as ridiculous as saying that women commit rape just as much as what men do, and as a result you are now blocked because I cannot tolerate that kind of foolish dishonesty.

[Fugue]

I agree that men shouldn't hound women randomly. The so-called "cold approach" is plain horse crap, as a general tactic. in my opinion a good compromise is to only approach when you see clear signs of interest. You should definitely leave women alone if they are not interested, and probably even best to ignore them, completely. Either way, this is a budding philosophy. It will be a long time before it becomes mainstream and the fundamental cultural programming gets erased, if it ever happens.

[Anonymous]

Screw dating... and screw relationships!!

That said, it is an ABUSIVE FEMINAZI expectation for men to chase women... both parties should be expected to input EQUALLY in a society that promotes gender equality. But as of now, it makes far more sense for women to pursue men simply due to the FACT that anything can land a man in jail in OPPRESSIVE FEMINIST society and that we would be heavily discriminated against in every situation if some dispute were to arise due.

[Opinion Owner]

A girl said -- ""Things have been this way for a long time now, I agree that there is an expectation for men to do the chasing. And I totally admit that as a woman I am loving it, and I am not into that whole feminazi crap either. However, let's admit that a lot of women chase men too""

I think we can easily teach her how things have been for scores of thousands of years, if not millions of years. This is outright discrimination based on sex, and a feminazi justification for it. Finally women are not even doing 5-10% of the chasing in today's west. These feminists are spreading outright lies then conveniently hiding behind the anti-feminist mask thinking people will be stupid enough to buy their stories.

[damnwinter]

Teach me, master. But first drop your anonymous mask and I'll drop my anti-feminazi one ;-)

[Careless_Whisper]

@damnwinter Do you have feminism in Hungary?

[Opinion Owner]

Ah I already see which side you're on asker... too bad you've been fed feminist agendas since childhood.

Yes, feminism exists in Eastern Europe, and even the non-western world to a small degree. Eastern Europe is completely plagued by feminism, although they are still about 10 years behind us.

They still think it's cool to approach girls and get laid... while western men are beginning to shun this in large numbers

[damnwinter]

Achievement unlocked - found my location, Sherlock! Hope it helps with whatever it is you're doing. :)) Now I'm really working hard for that block... I could hit it but then I wouldn't really feel like I've earned it...

[Opinion Owner]

Blocked.

[Izzex3]

I don't think there should be any rule, lol.
People should just ask people out if they want to and not ask people out if they don't want to.
Whichever is comfortable for that person.

[damnwinter]

finally someone who makes sense

[Anonymous]

I don't like women approaching me at all. It's desperate and weird. I personally want to approach first. A woman gave me her number yesterday and I told her "What am I supposed to do with this?" She wanted me to call her which I didn't. If I wanted her number I would've ask for it. Men should pursue, women should be pursued. That's the way it should be.

[johnbackerson]

What about the guys who want to be pursued? Not everyone is confident with alpha traits 😥

[Protagoras]

You're an idiot.

[Kirah]

Sounds sexist.

How about we just let people pursue who they want to pursue? If girls showing interest is such a turnoff for you, then I honestly don't know anymore.

This is why I miss the dislike button.

[Opinion Owner]

@Protagoras good to know. I don't care what you think.

[Opinion Owner]

@johnbackerson suck it up and start asking women then.

[Careless_Whisper]

what a loser

[Afrochick]

I agree with you.

[Opinion Owner]

@Afrochick Thank you. A least someone knows I'm right.

[dominiquois]

Wow, that's a first. A guy that turned down a woman for expressing her attraction.

[Nicolás25]

I see your points but listen to this if men are afraid of approaching girls girls are absolutely terrified and not to mention they feel desperate also a WOMAN wouldn't turn down a man for silly reasons the word woman implies maturity

[Mesonfielde]

>> women are too fussy

yawn sexist generalizations

And women tend to not initiate because some guys take advantage of this, and just have sex with them then never contact again.

[Azara]

how is that because as he initates? guys can take advantage regardless of who instates. any person can. and if she imitates at least she's had time to con super him. when he does its more of surprise attack. in my opinion, being caught off guard is never a good strategy for maintaining control of yourself.

i think more often women dont ask bc guys treat it like they are doing something wrong. and instead of standing their ground and rejecting that notion-as would be the dignified thin g to do-they tuck their tail in their legs and vow never to do it again.

but I've heard this a lot. women dont initiate bc guys taste advantage. sounds kind of like a truck to keep women from choosing who they really want,. leaving them decedent on the guys pick. however, maybe there's something I'm not seeing. id like to know more about why you think a person initating leaves them any more open to be bering screwed over than does not initiating?

[Azara]

I've definitely always felt much more in control by initiating. being mindful holding yourself accountable, not leaving things to chance... definitely harder to mess with a person in that position,.

sure a guy can go with the flow just to get sex. but he can also persil a woman pretending rot be interested just to get sex. happens all the time. 'player'.

initiating doest't mean chasing to the end of the earth with no sign of reciprocation... just means 'initiating'.

[Mesonfielde]

@Azara I think it's mostly just that it's riskier to "do things just for sex" when the girl isn't interested in you. If she asks you out, that clearly means she is interested in you.

[Jack_S]

Men chase women because the act of sex causes a greater sense of love in us then in them. Because it is a more bodily action, we are the ones to persue

[Kylesar]

The chase for women summed up

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...159326eeeb.jpg

[koko124]

That doesn't make sense at all.

Women have lower desire for men than vice versa, so there's that.

Women also have lower self-confidence than men, so they're less likely to initiate even if they do have a level of interest.

[Benk111]

Women these days are so picky that only the top tier guys would get pursued and average looking and below average looking guys like me would be left in the dust.

[damnwinter]

Never in my life have I picked a man based on looks. I assure you. I know it sounds bogus. But I truly haven't. Some happened to be better looking and some were not... but to me, their worth stood somewhere else and I could truly love regardless of one's looks. I can't be the only woman in the world like that. I certainly am not. Don't lose hope :)

[damnwinter]

@Todd_Bundy Suit yourself. ^_^ Stay insecure. Peace out.

[Careless_Whisper]

@damnwinter, you're still an idiot.