Why It Makes More Sense For Women To Pursue Men

Why it makes more sense for women to pursue men

The reason for this is because women are too fussy. When men approach or chase women, it seems that women will disqualify a man over the most ridiculous thing. "He was a little too overbearing," or "His beard was a bit too long," or "He asked for my number too quickly." Is it any wonder why so many men are afraid to approach women?

Another reason it makes more sense for women to pursue men is because it's usually easier for a woman to get a man than for a man to get a woman. It seems that most women today prefer the man to be the one to ask them out or pursue them, which is why so many women end up being single for a long time. The mindset of many women is, "If he hasn't got the balls to ask me out then he'snot worth dating." But like I said, women are so fussy today that many men are afraid to ask a woman out.

A man is far more likely to be turned down. It's usually easier for a woman to get a man interested. Women are naturally more attractive than men and therefore the don't have to work as hard at getting a man interested. For most men, it can be difficult getting a woman to choose him over all the other guys. So it makes far more sense for women to do the choosing, but also being the ones who ask the men out. But instead, women remain stubborn and allow the men to do the pursuing, and it's usually the assholes and bad boys who have the most confidence when approaching women.

In my experience being a former bouncer at pubs and clubs, the best way to get a woman interested is to ignore them and pay them no attention. In the past I had quite a lot of women chat me up for simply showing no interest. I just don't see any point in a man chasing a woman these days.


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What Girls Said 15

  • I agree it makes more sense for people who are extremely fussy and have impossible standards to go after exactly what they want - men and women... not JUST women.

    "Women are naturally more attractive than men and therefore the don't have to work as hard at getting a man interested." - however, can't say I agree with this one at all...

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    • Well, you're wrong.

    • @Careless_Whisper Dude, you need to understand that it's mostly guys who think women don't have to work at looking good or being attractive. A lot of women don't really think it's that easy for them.

  • This is something I've been thinking about for a while. You make really good points that I actually agree with so I think you're right. Good myTake.

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  • Yeah, I pursue men all the time, but some of them are too afraid ;)

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  • Good luck with that. I'm sure you'll get a lot of offers.

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  • Hey, @Careless_Whisper, great discussion, we've shared your myTake on our Facebook page!

    Mhhh... really?

    Posted by Girls Ask Guys on Thursday, February 18, 2016

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  • I don't think women are more attractive, you think that because you are a man! Do you think men don't do that with women who ask them out? They sure do!! I have a lot of male friends who are like "that girl asked me out but she's probably desperate if she did that" ... we're all in the same situation. Just do whatever you're more comfortable with and if you like someone enough to risk your ego and ask them out, do it. If you're a man or a woman, what do you care.

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    • I think most rational people acknowledge that women are more attractive than men. Even in the animals kingdom the female birds often are very pretty with lots of different colours, while the male birds are often dull coloured. That's why the female body is the biggest marketing industry in the world. It's not rocket science.

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    • Birds
      Sexual Advantage
      In order to ensure reproduction, males develop more attractive features so they can more easily attract a mate. Female birds may see the degree of color in a male bird as a sign of his physical state and how well he can provide for them. For example, more nutritive seeds in a bird's diet enhance pigment color.

      Territory

      Colors can also be used to mark territory. Red-winged blackbirds, which have a red spot they use to show other males to indicate a territory is taken and that they are willing to fight to preserve it. This spot is only shown to males of the same species and can be hidden so as to not attract predators.

      Protection

      Female birds while pregnant or nesting are more at risk for being attacked by predators. Darwin theorized that giving the females a more dull appearance allows them to blend in more easily with their surroundings. This allows them to lay eggs, and then raise the subsequent chicks, allowing for species growth.

    • I was actually thinking about a special type of bird, not all birds in general, so that was my mistake. But the biggest marketing industry is the female body because female are more attractive, even without makeup. What you're saying is as ridiculous as saying that women commit rape just as much as what men do, and as a result you are now blocked because I cannot tolerate that kind of foolish dishonesty.

  • I actually prefer a man to come up to me because I'm way too shy to do so myself. A guy did it to me the other day and I have him my number. Lol he called me last night and i barely talked to him. (I don't think he is ever gon call again😂😂)

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    • Why is that funny?

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    • Shy girls are really confusing. You never know if they're really ignoring you or just too shy.

    • @MikeyTheRebel I would imagine so

  • I feel like the whole thing is over-complicated. If a guy or girl likes someone, they should drop a hint and leave it in the other person's basket to decide what to do with. In a club, for instance, it never hurts to just start some casual small talk with someone. Then pay attention to their body language and choice of conversation to see if you maybe have a chance. I think people take this stuff way too seriously. Just have fun with it and have fun meeting new people. It seems like guys get rejected a lot more inky because a lot more guys make the first move. If it were equal, equal amounts of men and women would be getting shut down.
    But it's not okay to rudely shut someone down, finless they're being creepy like straight up asking if you want to go back to their place or something. If someone shows interest in you and you don't like them that way, politely decline but continue to ask if they're enjoying their night anyway. You don't have to call a guy an asshole just for asking to buy you a drink, but you do have to let him know that drink won't get him anywhere.

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  • i feel lke the same topics keep repeatng over and over on gag

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  • I feel like I'm the only woman these days who approaches men.

    I think both genders should start pursuing each other equally.

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  • I keep seeing these takes and posts and questions basically saying that this chasing game should change. Sorry, but I don't see why. Not even after reading this take. Things have been this way for a long time now, I agree that there is an expectation for men to do the chasing. And I totally admit that as a woman I am loving it, and I am not into that whole feminazi crap either. However, let's admit that a lot of women chase men too. Just thinking about the number of women hitting on my taken boyfriend makes me go nuts. They are there and they are often very slutty. Just you know, keep an eye out :D :)) lol.

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    • I agree with you.

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    • @Careless_Whisper "feminist"? I'm not a feminist, far from it actually.

      @damnwinter I'm not a feminist, don't jump to conclusions. Preferring to be approached isn't sexist, but saying "men should pursue women and never the other way around" IS sexist.

    • @Kirah I agree damnwinter is a sexist for thinking men should be the only ones approaching and yet I bet she wants things to be equal between men and women. Hypocrite.

  • I don't think there should be any rule, lol.
    People should just ask people out if they want to and not ask people out if they don't want to.
    Whichever is comfortable for that person.

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  • Even as a submissive female who prefers an alpha type male to be in charge in my relationships, I completely agree with you.

    The notion of men always making the first move is based on the outdated custom of the man having to "court" a woman, win her affection, and the respect of her father, to gain marriage rights; this tradition is based on obtaining more land/wealth/power through her father.

    Men no longer own women, and fathers/husbands no longer own all the property/power in a marriage.

    With more and more women taking on higher paid leadership positions in the workforce, why shouldn't we women do just as much chasing?

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  • I mean, look, dude, if something has happened in X way since time immemorial, then, there must be SOME good reason for it, right?

    Most of us want a dude who's a decision-maker and -- at least in important, the-chips-are-down situations -- a go-getter.
    The approach symbolizes that, so, the approach communicates valuable information about whether the dude has that important quality.

    I mean, lots of guys like watching bad-ass female action heroes, but, at the end of the day, that's a quality that isn't as important to men at a base level.

    In fact, lots of men have such a strong protective instinct that they'd want essentially the OPPOSITE of this, in a woman.
    ... yep. Basically, lots of men are attracted to the type of woman who'd be totally helpless in a dangerous situation if he wasn't around. I think that's weird, but, it is what it is.

    In any case, though, it's worth thinking about why things are the way they are, when they've been that way for 6.5 forevers already.

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    • I kinda agree with both of you as a man myself i want to ask the girl out and i want to lead the way and i have in the past but he got something right... lots of girls these days are kinda... too mean to be approached they dont show signs they act really mean and then expect guys to approach which doesn't usually end well... iam a confident guy i truly dont care how hot the girl is or how succeesful she is a human being, iam not an ass but girls are human beings too, i believe that girls getting little nicer and more clear would go a long way if they truly want guys to approach, i've had suceesful and failed approaches in the past and despite most girls i meet finding me very good looking, approaching a girl and doing all the hard work puts a strain on any man if he doesn't even see any signs of interest ( which usually happens ) these days i wait for signs, really strong ones before making a move i dont want to repeat my mistakes.

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    • @benthurber @coolsky just like y'all gotta watch yr wallets and jewelry when you say hello to random girls, right? bc they AFTER that shit. lol
      like being on the beach in Ipanema at 3AM

    • Jewelry? *Quirks an eyebrow in your direction* :)

      My wallet had been stolen on a date once before. I'm pretty sure it was the group of Arab immigrants that bumped into me while boarding the ferry in Potomac Harbor, but. She did turn out to be a bit of a sociopath, so I'm not sure I should rule her out.

  • A lot of women do hit on men , myself included. BUT what men don't seem to realize women are going to pursue men she finds attractive, visually at first sight. so if you look like Jimmy Fallon , the likely hood of you getting hit on will be lower than of you look like young Johnny depp. Women have a risk factor when approaching men, is he attractive enough that I will risk being rejected and be able to be o. k with that. Anyway, that's how I see it, some women may not agree, some men may hate what I have to say but from my point of view and how I've seen women work this is my conclusion

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    • Haha, you fear rejection? Then you expect men to be confident?

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    • @ManOnFire I still don't agree with that one day their might be psychology that explains it

    • @Dulcedulcexoxo And you don't have to, and wouldn't really make any difference if you did. The truth is still the truth even if no one believes it. And I wouldn't want to leave it in the hands of psychology to explain because they're often full of error in their "studies" and philosophy.

What Guys Said 21

  • No, I still think guys should do the approaching. Everything you're talking about, really just helps feed women's egos, and when guys are talking on and on about how hard it is to get a woman and how picky women are, we really just entertain their egos. Women know that guys are "working" to get their attention, and they know we're taught that they're harder to get, and they get off on it. They like the idea that we have to work for them, and we just keep entertaining that.

    I still feel that guys should be the ones to approach women, and just because one or 5 turned you down doesn't mean others will. Rejection hurts women far more than it hurts men, because women are taught that they can get any guy, and when it doesn't happen they wonder why. So I don't want to make it easier on a woman's ego by letting her come approach me.

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    • I've always rejected women. I love it.

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    • @dominiquois But you assume because someone is telling you they don't think you're that special that they're doing it to be rude.

    • I don't care if they don't think I'm special, I'd just be like whatever but if they do it to be rude then thats when it becomes a problem because they are just being disrespectful.

  • >> women are too fussy

    yawn sexist generalizations

    And women tend to not initiate because some guys take advantage of this, and just have sex with them then never contact again.

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    • how is that because as he initates? guys can take advantage regardless of who instates. any person can. and if she imitates at least she's had time to con super him. when he does its more of surprise attack. in my opinion, being caught off guard is never a good strategy for maintaining control of yourself.

      i think more often women dont ask bc guys treat it like they are doing something wrong. and instead of standing their ground and rejecting that notion-as would be the dignified thin g to do-they tuck their tail in their legs and vow never to do it again.

      but I've heard this a lot. women dont initiate bc guys taste advantage. sounds kind of like a truck to keep women from choosing who they really want,. leaving them decedent on the guys pick. however, maybe there's something I'm not seeing. id like to know more about why you think a person initating leaves them any more open to be bering screwed over than does not initiating?

    • I've definitely always felt much more in control by initiating. being mindful holding yourself accountable, not leaving things to chance... definitely harder to mess with a person in that position,.

      sure a guy can go with the flow just to get sex. but he can also persil a woman pretending rot be interested just to get sex. happens all the time. 'player'.

      initiating doest't mean chasing to the end of the earth with no sign of reciprocation... just means 'initiating'.

    • @Azara I think it's mostly just that it's riskier to "do things just for sex" when the girl isn't interested in you. If she asks you out, that clearly means she is interested in you.

  • Are you done with your tantrum?

    Try going out and getting some.

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  • The picture above looks like my interaction with women

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  • That doesn't make sense at all.

    Women have lower desire for men than vice versa, so there's that.

    Women also have lower self-confidence than men, so they're less likely to initiate even if they do have a level of interest.

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  • I see your points but listen to this if men are afraid of approaching girls girls are absolutely terrified and not to mention they feel desperate also a WOMAN wouldn't turn down a man for silly reasons the word woman implies maturity

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  • Men chase women because the act of sex causes a greater sense of love in us then in them. Because it is a more bodily action, we are the ones to persue

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  • Shits so damn true..

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  • Screw dating... and screw relationships!!

    That said, it is an ABUSIVE FEMINAZI expectation for men to chase women... both parties should be expected to input EQUALLY in a society that promotes gender equality. But as of now, it makes far more sense for women to pursue men simply due to the FACT that anything can land a man in jail in OPPRESSIVE FEMINIST society and that we would be heavily discriminated against in every situation if some dispute were to arise due.

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    • A girl said -- ""Things have been this way for a long time now, I agree that there is an expectation for men to do the chasing. And I totally admit that as a woman I am loving it, and I am not into that whole feminazi crap either. However, let's admit that a lot of women chase men too""

      I think we can easily teach her how things have been for scores of thousands of years, if not millions of years. This is outright discrimination based on sex, and a feminazi justification for it. Finally women are not even doing 5-10% of the chasing in today's west. These feminists are spreading outright lies then conveniently hiding behind the anti-feminist mask thinking people will be stupid enough to buy their stories.

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    • Achievement unlocked - found my location, Sherlock! Hope it helps with whatever it is you're doing. :)) Now I'm really working hard for that block... I could hit it but then I wouldn't really feel like I've earned it...

    • Blocked.

  • I agree that men shouldn't hound women randomly. The so-called "cold approach" is plain horse crap, as a general tactic. in my opinion a good compromise is to only approach when you see clear signs of interest. You should definitely leave women alone if they are not interested, and probably even best to ignore them, completely. Either way, this is a budding philosophy. It will be a long time before it becomes mainstream and the fundamental cultural programming gets erased, if it ever happens.

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  • women are more picky because its an evolution thing. men can reproduce as much as they want. the strongest male can impregnate all the women in his harem in order to father as many kids as he can. this way he has the best chance of having his offspring survive. men aren't picky because from an evolutionary point of view they dont have to be. they, dont have to wait long periods of time to breed.

    on the other hand, women can only bear young once a year (roughly). as a result, they need to be picky and will choose the strongest, fittest male as he will provide the best genes. this means she has the best chance of her offspring surviving.

    but we're human i hear you say... we are capable of concious thought!!! well yes and no. we are still bound by instinct no matter how human we are. this is why (generally speaking or course, not all of us.) men will fuck anything that moves. its beneficial to inseminate as many as women as possible, where as women tend to be more picky in general.

    we are animals at the end of the day, and no matter how much we deny it we still have that animal instinct.

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    • I disagree, especially the foolish myth that humans are really animals. You could have fooled me.

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    • This is true.

    • Humans are spliced with ape and alien DNA (probably Annunaki) as well with a reptilian base for our brain, probably grey aliens as well for other parts of the brain. We're hybrids. The Egyptians knew this. This is why one of their creator gods, Thoth (Anunnaki-Atlantean as well), sacred animal is an ape. Our souls might be from somewhere else but our bodies were definitely created using earth materials.

  • It would make sense considering the whole feminism thing has been taken to a huge extreme in this modern age and has gone past giving women rights and just putting men down for no other reason than to humiliate them. Women expect men to approach but then shame them when they do. Men are called creepy or aggressive. If it's such an issue for one gender to approach (men) then the other gender should do it since that would solve this endemic. But the thing is approaching sucks. Men know it women know it and that's why they don't do it. Because they know they can get away with not doing it. Women can be passive and just wait for things to come to them because it usually does unless you're one of those minority of women who are unlucky and don't get things coming to them. Most men cannot have this same privilege and have to chase after what they want or they'll be miserable and alone until they die. I think this is why male suicide rates are happening in record numbers now. Having to be the chaser is actually that bad.

    We do live in a catch 22 nowadays and it's really only getting worse.

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    • Every person should just do what feels comfortable for them. Don't make this into some weird attack against women, no one is doing this to harm you/men as a whole. It's not that easy to escape a $£$%"%^"-year old pattern. Things will slowly fall into place, actually they are already starting to. The world HAS socially changed, it it just a fairly long process. I honestly hope you'll feel better soon and that you will approach/be approached by friendlier women in the future. :)

  • Go look at the women lined up around any concert or sporting event where celebrities are.

    Women pursue men.

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    • Pedantry.

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    • That's different. Most women I've seen that do this only line up for famous, rich or extremely good-looking men. Every other man has to approach.

    • @dominiquois yes absolutely. Normal men have to approach women. But it's not that women don't approach. It's that women rarely bother to approach average men.

  • The reason why some women are fussy about little things is because they know that if they reject this guy, there will shortly be a new one to replace him.

    If women all of a sudden did all the asking out, it would not take very long until men also became fussy. Because they, just like women, would realize that soon another woman would come along and ask him out.

    It becomes a waiting game for the passive.

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    • Not every guy is viewed as replaceable :) maybe only for women who don't even bother to look - and those are not women who are worth your time, because they will never truly notice anyone.

    • Obviously not "every" guy is replaceable.
      Just every guy until the girl find the guy that she doesn't find replaceable. It's just the basics of supply and demand.

  • Women these days are so picky that only the top tier guys would get pursued and average looking and below average looking guys like me would be left in the dust.

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    • Never in my life have I picked a man based on looks. I assure you. I know it sounds bogus. But I truly haven't. Some happened to be better looking and some were not... but to me, their worth stood somewhere else and I could truly love regardless of one's looks. I can't be the only woman in the world like that. I certainly am not. Don't lose hope :)

    • @Todd_Bundy Suit yourself. ^_^ Stay insecure. Peace out.

    • @damnwinter, you're still an idiot.

  • unfortuneately this will probably never change

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  • Good MyTake

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  • I don't like women approaching me at all. It's desperate and weird. I personally want to approach first. A woman gave me her number yesterday and I told her "What am I supposed to do with this?" She wanted me to call her which I didn't. If I wanted her number I would've ask for it. Men should pursue, women should be pursued. That's the way it should be.

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    • What about the guys who want to be pursued? Not everyone is confident with alpha traits 😥

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    • @Afrochick Thank you. A least someone knows I'm right.

    • Wow, that's a first. A guy that turned down a woman for expressing her attraction.

  • Why is that picture used so much?

    ret.asia/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/63787234.jpg

    You said it seems like most women of today prefer the man be the one who ask them out. It's true. However, that's been going on for hundreds of years. It's not new by any sense.

    I think people don't realize that it's easier for women to get sex from guys, but it's easier for guys to get friendships from women. It is. Now you may think that's not a fair trade, but I think so. Females typically need more social attention than men. Females typically need more social support.

    I don't think women are naturally more attractive than men. It's just our two brains work differently (which I alluded to earlier).

    Females have asked me out before, but I'll admit it's rare. I agree with your last few points. At some point I just quit caring to approach. If it happens it happens, but I don't try to force anything. It works easier for me anyway because I'm shy, but I've also noticed that it allows for women to pursue more or to show more interest. Not every guy is like that though, and some guys like to pursue. I know some guys who pursue a lot and are successful at it. They don't look overly attractive to me either.

    In conclusion I just think guys need to know that they shouldn't feel they have to pursue. If it's not who you are then don't force yourself to do it.

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