I Won't Let My Trust Issues Get The Best Of Me

I Won't Let My Trust Issues Get The Best Of Me

I admit it, I have trust issues, I've built walls around myself so I won't get hurt again. I've been betrayed before and it was one of the hardest things I had to face when I was a teenager.

My Former Best Friend:

During summer school when I was in ninth grade, my best friend found another friend. I was okay with that, I had other friends too, it was no big deal. Except when it was. Apperantly, she told that girl all of my secrets and then called me with that girl to dump me. Like, hey, I found a new friend, so can we not be friends anymore? Jokes on her, after that she tried to be my friend again, but I was done. She broke my trust, she she's dead to me.

Ever since that time, I can't seem to open up to my "friends", I call them that, but I don't really talk to them all that much. Even though it's been years and i've gotten over what happened with my former best friend, I still can't forget the memory of her betrayal. I don't think I could take something like this again, so I unconsciously protect myself by being distant.

My First Love:

Six months after that, my first love broke my heart, he shattered it into a million pieces. At that time I was still reeling from the shock of my best friend dumping me, and just like that he decided that he didn't love me anymore, while I was completely in love with him. He meant everything to me, I dreamed of marrying him someday and having kids, etc... and he shared that dream, but I don't know... something changed.

Since then, I've had a couple of boyfriends, but I couldn't truly commit to them. I haven't loved them, none of them. I guess my feelings just disappeared when he broke my heart. It just took me four years to even feel anything for other guys, that's how broken I was. Though, honestly everything was just a blur after he broke my heart.


After that, I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to go anywhere, I didn't even want to live. I was so depressed, I tried to kill myself countless of times. I wanted to die so badly. I lost my other friends because I isolated myself, I dropped out of school and instead started home schooling. I just wanted to be alone.

I was done, my four years of high school just went by in a blur. I gave up at that time, I felt like I was worthless, that nobody loved me. That I should die, I ended up being hospitalized for overdosing and that gave me a reality check. I spent one week in the psyche ward and all I wanted to do was get out of there. And just like everything, my depressed passed, though it took me a very long time to get through it.

Life After Depression:

It wasn't easy, after all, I missed four years of high school and I didn't have friends anymore, but I moved on. I started going to college and I met new people, though I still can't fully trust them, i'm happy with them. And that's all that really matters to me, in time I will fully heal from what happened and make great new friends, I will be be able to trust people again. At the moment, i'm learning to trust again, i'm opening up again little by little.

Good friends are hard to find, but i'm not giving up just yet.

New Love:

Finally, after seven years, i've met a guy and i'm falling for him. It's crazy and i'm scared as hell, but after such a long time, i'm having these amazing feelings for someone again. And I might get heartbroken again, but it's okay, because I want to be in love again and to be happy like I used to be. And you know what? After everything that happened, i'm glad that i'm getting another opportunity at love.

I'm not letting my trust issues get the best of me, I'm finally free!


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What Guys Said 2

  • I wish you the best

  • Women with trust issues usually are the ones dating pretty and/or rich guys. Get used for sex (or cheated) on because they overvalue their worth in dating game. They feel like shit and their confidence goes down


    They then either repeat this cycle over and over for many years until the hot and/or rich guy no longer wants them and find some guy (she wouldn't even look at in her early 20's} or she stays a lone with a resentful view of men and relationship.


    Some may not wait until their late 20's/30's to give a normal guy a chance and let a average/below average guy be their boyfriend because they think he won't cheat, but damn sure they'll have their trust issues in the relationship and accuse him of cheating.

    • You didn't even read it, did you?

    • Show All
    • @MissBalderdash Well i did say usually. So not all.

    • sorry but what you say is nonsense , you dont understand the situation at all

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm glad to hear that you're regaining your happiness again!! :) I remember my best mate dumped me, she found another friend and forgot all about me for about 2 years. I went college and met new people. Then we bumped into each other and reconnected but she's now got more new friends. As for guys, my ex was shifty, hid his phone from me, always asked where I was, wasn't attentive at all. Ye... I'm glad he let me go...
    All will get better in time!! Good luck with your new love :)

  • Good take. I also have trust issues as I've been deceived by a lot of people. It seems that genuinely good people are rare and it's sometimes hard to separate those from the fake "nice" people.

  • Thanks for posting this. I'm older than you but still battling that depression pretty hard. I think that the worst thing for me is that I don't trust my own judgement. I have trust issues with myself because I've been so badly deceived... including deceiving myself about what my marriage really was.

    I wish you all the best. ((hugs)) n