I like to stick up for both genders typically, but today, I am writing this one for all of the ladies out there who have fallen for a guy who fucked up so bad that even though they cared about him, they couldn’t get past what happened and had to move on. I’ve been there recently (not too recently, but recently enough) so I decided that rather than going to therapy like a responsible adult, I would dedicate an entire take detailing some of the ways you can lose your chance with a girl forever.
Who am I kidding? I couldn’t afford therapy even if I wanted to go.
I partnered with the ladies around the office and came up with this list, so it’s important to bare in mind that not all of these opinions are my own experiences but the experiences of five other women who all contributed, so it isn’t just going to be me and my limited perspective.
Back on topic: before the guys get butthurt (because I know some will) here is an obligatory: not all men are douches or pieces of shit, not what I am suggesting and I would never suggest that, but that doesn’t change the fact that people can be shitty sometimes. Also, yes, women should do all of the things for you as well that I suggest below. It’s a lady take, chill.
Also: Yes, I will do a version of this that focuses on how women can lose a chance with HIM forever, do not worry your pretty little head.
Without further adieu, here are some sure ways to lose your chance with her … FOREVER.
You never tell her she’s beautiful
Call it vain all you want, but even the most confident of women want to be told they are beautiful by the person they are interested in/by their SO. Its confirmation that there is genuine attraction between the two of you that goes outside of just physically showing it. If all you do is try to mack on a girl and you think that’s all you have to do to make her feel beautiful, you’re dead wrong. All that says is: I can be physical with you. Which is so vague that it can be misconstrued for: I could potentially be using you/I only find you sexually attractive.
If a girl ever has to ask you if she’s pretty/cute/beautiful … you’re doing something seriously wrong. She shouldn’t have to ask you.
She should know you find her beautiful. Don’t use the excuse of: "Oh well, I don’t want her to think I’m weird/creepy." Because if you like this girl she should be worth putting yourself out there for, especially if you know she likes you back.
You don’t reciprocate
Maybe you’re not an emotional guy so you don’t send her the same kinds of gushy texts that she does, or you just aren’t the type to open up about how much she means to you. But if she goes out of her way to make sure you feel special and loved … you should too.
Tell her you love her, tell her she’s special, buy her dinner (assuming she buys dinner for you too of course), fuck – do the dishes for her when she’s had a shit day because you know she’d do it for you too.
If you have the kind of girl that goes the extra mile, running two miles ahead of her does you no favors. Turn your ass around and meet her half way … damn.
You pick another woman over her
I wish that this wasn’t something I had to explain, but apparently it is. I have had this happen to me more than once: a guy likes you, but for some reason, he decides he wants to go out with another girl. He tells you/you figure it out/he exits the relationship for her, but for whatever reason, he leaves her. Okay, fine, time to move on, right? No, no, because he then decides: “Oh, there is this other girl … I remember now, I’ll just go for/get back with her!”
Nope. Just … nope. Sooo much nope. Big bold NOPE.
If you choose another woman over the one you really wanted you signed your chances away. You basically said: “This other girl is better than you, and I’m only running to you because it didn’t work out. Lol.” Fat chance, slick, you’re boned … or rather, you won’t be. If you do this, you’ve lost your chance with any self-respecting woman, because she won’t settle for being your rebound or your second choice.
You make sex all about YOU
Want to chase a girl away indefinitely? Act like sex is all about you getting your satisfaction with little to no consideration towards how she feels. Out of all of the things listed, the women of the office all had this issue in a past relationship. If you treat sex like it’s your woman’s obligation, her “duty” to satisfy you, your sex life is not only going to dry up (amongst other things, cough-cough*), but you’re going to make her feel like she doesn’t matter to you.
So the next time you find yourself having to nag at your girl to put out, maybe try actually giving her a reason to want to have sex with you instead of pressuring her into an unsatisfying one-two-pump.
As a side note: never pressure a girl for sex and act like an asshole earlier in the relationship either. Seriously.
You behave as though you’re emotionally unavailable
Men have a lot of pressure to keep their emotions in check, I understand that. But when you get to a point where you truly care about somebody, you have to break the walls down and begin showing some real, tender and vulnerable feelings. Even if you’re not good at showing your emotions, voicing how you feel is a good way to make sure you aren’t just shutting down on a girl.
If you spend too much time powering down every feeling and neglecting your girl as a result, she’s eventually going to assume the issue is in the relationship and axe it as a result.
If you have issues, talk about them; if you’re frustrated/sad, tell her so she can help and so she doesn’t blame herself for your foul mood, whatever the case may be.
You never make a move
I advocate girls asking guys out, but even in situations where I have made my interest in a guy known, I have had them accept my affections … only to never make an actual move on ME. Yes, I made the moves first, but you still need to do at least SOME of the wooing. If you’re lucky enough to have a girl ask you out and try to romance you, don’t take it as a ticket to emotionally shut down and refuse to go in for the kiss, or put any sort of effort into the courting at all; doing this will almost guarantee that you will increase your risk of completely losing your chance with this girl, because she’ll just find someone with more guts if you fail to deliver.
For guys wanting more traditional girls who don’t do the asking, of course, never asking them out is a good way to lose your shot, because eventually, there’ll be someone who will actually go in for the kill while you’re gawking at the sidelines.
Don’t end up in a situation as shitty as that.
You never change
We all have bad qualities, every single one of us: be it an explosive temper, alcohol problems, or something more minor, we all have them. We can all also benefit from changing those bad qualities, especially if they directly affect the person we care about most. A sure way to chase a girl away is to promise to change and never deliver, especially if what you’re trying to change is causing severe detriment to your relationship.
You can only get away with cussing her out, cheating, lying, stealing, drinking/drugging up, putting no effort into your relationship before she inevitably has had enough.
If you make promises you never keep, the trust and affection will dwindle like a candle in the wind, son, so if you say you’ll change, do it.
Alright folks, that’s all I have for today. Again, this isn’t to bash men, men are cool af, this is just for the dudes who haven’t figured this out yet, so don’t lose sleep over it. As always, thanks for reading G@Gers, I hope you all got something out of this in some way and you have yourselves a great weekend.