Street Harassment, Approach Anxiety, And Trying To Genuinely Meet A Girl: A Guys Guide To Surviving This Confusing And Increasingly Hostile World

So this take is going to get flack, and I know no matter how impartial I try to be, I'm either going to be called a white knight or a misogynist depending on the person who gets pissed off reading this and I recognize that. For guys who are saying it shouldn't be their sole responsibility to approach, I'm sorry but that's how the world is. I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm trying to help you play your cards the best way that they've been dealt.

Street Harassment, approach anxiety, and trying to genuinely meet a girl; a guys guide to surviving this confusing and increasingly hostile world.

So I'm sure most of you have seen this video

And thus the divide that has already existed about this topic only became worse and has widened. Girls are saying how this is a serious issue (it is) that guys don't recognize. Guys are saying how are they ever supposed to meet anyone if they should never talk to a girl which this video is in a way implying because it showed zero disparity between the guys who were absolutely stalking her and being invasive and the guys who wished her a good day.

So lets begin.

1. Body Language

Look at her in the video. Look at her facial expression. Look how fast she's walking, how she pumps her arms. That is not the body language of someone that is open to being talked to.

Body language is key. If you see a dude who's naked in the street foaming at the mouth you'd probably not go have a friendly chat. You'd stay indoors and call the cops saying some dude is outside on PCP. It's about reading their body language and picking your battles. If they give you a smile and play with their hair, bite their finger etc. Those are cues that she is much more likely cool with you approaching her than miss speed walker in the video who looks like she wants to punch someone. When they give you some form of body language that says "Oh hello" that's when you MAY be in the clear to go introduce yourself. It doesn't mean that they are for a fact wanting to talk with you. They may just be really nice or nervous when someone looks at them. So don't take it as them leading you on because everyone expresses things differently. Just know that these are usually signs that they are fine with someone talking to them in a pleasant manner. And so under these circumstances it's understandable to approach them, which leads me into my next point.

2. Introducing yourself

First impressions are everything. That said it doesn't mean you have to be Mr. Casanova saying something suave. It means be polite and respectful. THAT'S IT. Whether you come off charming or not depends on your personality and the specific girls personality you're approaching. You'll come off charming to some and not so charming to others. If you are not polite and respectful you are severly limiting yourself to only a small group of women who may still find you charming. So you may ask "Well what do I say?" And to answer that I have another controversial video that is popular on youtube.

Now take notes.

Not of the girls rejecting or the guy. But of the girl introudcing herself to the guys. The difference between the guy and the girl is the girl actually introduced herself. The guy skipped that part and went straight for the flirting. Now yes, he would probably still have gotten a bunch of those rudes comments and behavior from some of those girls but girls have recieved that same treatment as well when they have displayed interest in a guy. It's not a gender thing. It's an, unfortunately going up to a rude person, thing. And you should consider yourself lucky you didn't meet such a rude person under different circumstances and end up dating them not knowing how inconsiderate they are to those they have no interest in. People complain about the video being a double standard but really the dude approaching girls and the girl approaching guys were way different. She actually approaches the correct way where if he approached the same way his chances would have been better of them being more kind with their rejection.(Again that doesn't mean they'd actually be better but the odds are better if he approached like she did).

So if they are receptive to your introduction then good for you! If they are not as happy about being approached(or in some cases walk out our cuss you out half way through) then take it with grace. If they stay long enough for a goodbye thank them for their time and just be on your way. Don't get upset. You aren't doing yourself any favors by getting angry at them. It's understandable if you feel embarassment or a little hurt because your feelings were just rejected but just let the embarassment or hurt run it's course for a little while and let it out of your system. Taking it out on them or the next girl that was unfortunate enough to be the girl after the rude person will not help you.

Well that's about it.

I used way too many photos/pictures for such a short take.... Oh well if you have tips that have helped you with meeting someone that I haven't talked about be free to share them. Unless they're rude/manipulative things then no thanks because the whole point of this take is about doing a good curteous approach. Critique if you like(Please be gentle).


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What Girls Said 3

  • I have to say that this is pretty solid advice.

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  • True story of life.

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  • To avoid getting rejected, what if you just started off by talking about something really casual? Like you could study her first, and then approach and talk with her about what you think she's interested in. You could say you love whatever it is too, and then ask her if you can add each other on twitter or something to talk more about it. Then you could get to know each other and be friends for a few weeks, before you start with the flirting finally.

    If you start off being sexual in the first convo, you'll probably just get shot down most of the time. Even if you introduce yourself and sound light at first, flirting during the first convo or letting her know you want her, probably won't work.

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    • 'To avoid getting rejected, what if you just started off by talking about something really casual? '

      tbh, most girls will walk away before you've had the chance to open your mouth to say 'excuse me'.

    • Oh no I'm not saying start talking sexual with them when you meet them (I wouldn't really do anything like that until a few dates in when they know me better and know I'm just being playful). I was just saying how the guy in the rejection video just went straight for telling a girl she's attractive or asking for a number whereas the girl was actually introducing herself by saying hello offering a handshake and saying her name.

What Guys Said 9

  • Overall a good myTake but I have to disagree on the part about body language.
    If a girl doesn't see you it doesn't mean she's automatically not interested. Sometimes you have to get her attention. It's all about how she responds to you saying hello that matters.

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  • "flack"
    It's actually written "flak".

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  • The only flak you're getting is from me.
    IT'S SPELLED FLAK NOT FLACK!!!

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  • Or, a man can simply ignore women and get on with his life.
    After a while, men come to the realisation that women are not worth the effort and enormous legal risk.
    Feminists have made women so toxic any form of interaction with them does not survive a rational cost/risk/benefit analysis.

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  • Excellent article

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  • Good and balanced take with good intentions. I'm not sure how anyone could insult you based off this.

    That said, it hasn't really changed my mind that approaching people is most likely a bad idea. I'd rather not throw myself at someone's mercy on the off chance they won't tell me to f**k off so I'll just give that whole thing a pass. If that means I'm never in a relationship, that's fine.

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    • The more you do it, the better you'll get at timing, delivery and actual lyrics, and the thicker your skin will get to rejection. A coworker told me that 6 years ago and I followed it and saw that it was true. It's a STEEP learning curve and there's no magic answer or formula.

    • @dsampath You're probably right. I honestly just don't think it's worth it though.

  • Is this shit for real?

    1 I've been told several times that going up and introducing yourself to a woman is considered way too aggressive in today's culture.

    2 If women DID go up to guys, introduce themselves, give compliments like that and ask for numbers then sites like this probably wouldn't even exist.

    3 That approach never works. I can't think of a single time that introducing myself to a woman, telling her she's attractive, and asking for a number/date has ever worked. In 39 years I've learned that women don't want honesty, they want you to bullshit them when it comes to approaching them.

    4 this take doesn't really seem to address the issues mentioned in the title.

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  • Men build women up too much in their heads. They're easy. Most of them want to be men deep down. They admire men for their strength and cool heads and sense of humour and if they can't emulate that then they'll love somebody who is how they want to be. Women are very affectionate to men who can make them laugh and have fun. If you're a dour fucker with no chat then your fucked. That simple. Even if you look like adonis with brad pitts head and you've no chat she'll get sick of you quickly. It's all about respect. With it you can get her dwn the aisle and she'll bear all your kids and worship the ground you walk on. Without it she won't even look at you without sneering. I could hypnotise a woman with my silver tongue when I was younger. Ever seen a woman leaning on her palm and staring into your eyes as if your God? It's like a drug. It's like taming a wild animal. I could do it just talking. Learn how to enjoy yourself and the patter comes on the back of that. I never met anybody in my life who was funny if they weren't in a good mood. A good mood comes from cutting away from all of your problems. Need to lighten up. It doesn't mean get brighter it means let go of the mental baggage. Most of your problems are only in your head. Enjoy yourself and good things will happen whilst your doing it

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    • you are full of yourself , you bore me
      talk about good humour...

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    • @imanf7 your so witless you can't write more than one sentence LOL. Told you you were boring

    • This guy is spot on

  • Those women are so fucking assholes. Wtf really, is this how you say to someone just wanting to talk and being polite?

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