Let's Talk About The Double Standards In Getting Rejected For Each Gender

Let's talk about the double standards in getting rejected for each gender

Disclaimer: These are my views on rejection as a woman when it comes to dating, so there will be generalizations but that does not mean it is the rule of thumb. I also used guys/girls because I realize that not every relationship is heterosexual.

When it comes to dating, rejection is bad enough for both men and women, but I would like to point out some double standards when it comes to dating for men and women.

Women:

Appearance: When a woman rejects a guy/girl the first thing people assume that it is because of only the guy's appearance and then she is immediately labled a shallow bitch by some men. "How dare a woman have free will in dating" which brings me to my next double standard in dating

Labels: When a woman rejects a guy/girl not only can she be labeled as shallow but some guys/girls will even go as far as calling her a slut and badmouthing her and guys/girls who can not take rejection well even get agressive. Gold digger, maneater, whore, slut, bitch, etc.

The bad boy nice guy complex: Some guys have this assumption that if a girl rejects them then she is only dating assholes, it would take a book for me to explain what is wrong with this assumption.

Girls can not get rejected: This one annoys me everytime when some guys say that girls can not get rejected because of sex, if you place sex so highly on your priority list then thats a personal problem, but its not right to project your issues with not getting laid onto other women.


Men:

Friendzone: When a guy gets rejected people assume that the girl/guy friendzoned him when in reality the guy could of already been content in a relationship before asking the next girl out.

Too nice: The guy was too nice and girls do not like nice guys. A guy can get rejected because maybe he fucked up in the previous relationship with the same girl or she/he found him unattractive

Weak game: "Be an asshole, assholes get the girls" guy say, but of course not every girl/guy likes assholes. Some girls/guys like guys who are just being themselves

Sex: Not every guy is out looking for sex, so when a guy rejects a girl some people assume that he is gay, but in reality some men think with their brain head and actually get to know the girl before sticking their dick in anything that walks.


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What Guys Said 25

  • This is a pretty good Take. I notice that when a woman is a rejected by a guy, she tries to come up with all kinds of reasons for why she thinks he wasn't interested other than the simple fact that he just wasn't interested. Women are taught that guys will always go after them, so their egos are built on that, and when a guy turns her down - whether it's for sex or a relationship - I think that bothers women more than vice versa, so they try to come up with mental scenarios to make themselves feel better about it.

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  • It's not that women don't get rejected. But, there are differences in the frequencies and degrees of rejection.

    Firstly, for example, there are many men whom no women want. In fact, by default, most men are like that: they have to work on themselves to be acceptable for any women whatsoever. There are very women that no men want, even if we count the women who make no effort to improve themselves (and these women, utterly disconnected from reality, are increasing in number).

    Secondly, in terms of 'population size' (if we can put it that way!), the 'sex-zone' is the women's equivalent of the largely-man-populated 'friend-zone'. Women hate being sex-zoned (and that's understandable), but those women should imagine how they would feel if no men wanted even to have casual sex with them!

    I really do think that a woman of average emotional fortitude could not deal with what most men have to go through in order to be acceptable to women.

    Having sex-zoned and indeed (unlike most men) having friend-zoned a lot of girls, I can tell you that, whether the rejector or the rejectee, the man is generally viewed as the villain. If he is the rejectee, he wasn't good enough. If he is upset at all about it, he is a 'whiner', 'entitled', a 'fake nice guy', whatever. If he is the rejector, he is a 'player', 'immature', 'scared of commitment', a 'womanizer', 'expects perfection', a 'sexist', a 'fuckboy', etc. In fact, we've come to the point where there is a social movement based on the view that men should not have any sexual preferences regarding women, whether in terms of body or personality, the most prominent strand of this movement being the 'fat acceptance' movement.

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    • *very few women

    • Show All
    • as men they want to put to much pressure on us

    • when In reality us men already have enough pressure as it is in everyday living

  • This take didn't support its major points very well! Girl rejects guy is the usual things! Guy rejects girl is not really an equal counterpart! The MyTake gives no support to the complaint about the belief that: "Girls can not get rejected"

    It is possible for a girl to reach out to a guy and face rejection. But that is hardly ever a factor! Any fairly good looking female can just go where men are and she will eventually be approached! Using this strategy, it's TRUE that, "Girls can not get rejected". But a guy can't use that strategy! A guy HAS to put himself out there and take ALL the risk of rejection! Girls are widely accepted by the opposite sex just for existing! Not true for guys! The only females that really have to face rejection are the ones who are so extremely fat or so ugly that no man EVER approaches them! They MUST reach out and face rejection! Other than that, females have the luxury of waiting to be approached! Nothing in this MyTake challenges that! In rejections, their IS no equality between the sexes!

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  • Abusing the free will argument to make shallowness look acceptable. Nice job.

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  • I read this and think "god damn I'm glad im married"

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  • Sounds like a man hater to me... It's though to ask a girl out, be nice!

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  • Didn't you talk about women rejecting men and men getting rejected by women? That doesn't exactly sound like the other side of that coin - but ok.

    Appearance: It's the first thing everyone notices, unless they find the person being reject attractive then of course they're going to think it's looks because they need to think something and have little else to go on. I don't see how it's some horrible negative attitude directed at women about how they are shallow and "How dare a woman have free will in dating" is a huge leap; for you to be discussing double standards in society you would first need to find people that say that who actually exist.

    Labels: Not gender exclusive. You don't get to claim a monopoly on being called names.

    The bad boy nice guy complex: In other words, she's looking for something else. Something I don't want to be or can't be. It's a self-esteem thing. Girls do it too, it's in the same vein as deciding he's gay or only into "sluts" or whatever they want to come up with to make themselves feel better.

    Girls can not get rejected: There's a sliver of truth to the statement although obviously it's hyperbole. Can't a guy just as easily say it's not right to project your (relative) ease with getting laid onto other men and have it apply just as aptly?

    Friendzone: Wtf at your example. When a guy (or anyone) gets rejected people assume it was because of apples but *could* have been because of oranges. Profound. Also, that doesn't mean apples don't exist.

    Too nice: Same thing as Friendzone. It doesn't mean oranges don't exist.

    Weak game: Although game isn't everything, if we define game as behaviors and personality traits in men that are generally attractive to women then, yeah he has weak game. If being themselves isn't attractive then they can try to change and grow or they can accept their predicament.

    Sex: Same vein as the bad boy thing & labels. Being the only example of a guy rejecting a girl kinda reinforces the girls can not get rejected notion by the way.

    Overall, you've got no measure of prevalence for each point. Just because you have an equal number of subheadings under Men and Women doesn't mean men and women's problem's are equal in number or severity, or coming from the same parts of society. Linking back to my first line, isn't the whole understanding that we seem mostly limited to talking about women rejecting and men being rejected a problem that's a backdrop to all of this that we're just neglecting?

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  • I think men and woman are just as shallow as each other. Sometimes men and sometimes woman more so. Im a rich guy and i get a lot of shallow girls approach me.
    One thing also, is that we all treat the opposite sex as a sex object as this is basically evolution.

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  • How to not get rejected anytime at all

    > be tall , jacked and athletic
    > get big ass jar
    > collect pussies

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  • Im a nice guy, and I can confirm that nice guys do finish last.

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  • you forgot to mention how women react when a guy rejects them. In that (from personal experience) some will run around saying nasty shit and try to flip it the other way.

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  • More complaining by women.

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  • guys can in time joke and laugh about all the times they got rejected romantically... Women pretend that they never get rejected...

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  • s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...c630accd64.jpg
    Im not sure where the double standard comes into play all im reading is that women reject men sometimes and various reasons why.
    Consider this think of every guy you have found attractive and liked but they never asked you out even though you wanted them too, thats rejection as they didn't think you wete good enough to ask out.

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  • I like how this just completely bashed men with no real thought or consideration that maybe women are capable of being in the wrong and being judgmental (the same traits you seem to attribute to men).

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    • This does not bash men at all

    • First one claims that when guys are rejected they immediatley assume that the woman is a "shallow bitch/slut/gold digger/whore" which is of course insulting to guys but also not true. That was the "double standard" for women. The double standard for men states that when men are rejected, they immediatley assume he was "friendzoned" or that other guys viewed him as having "weak game/was to nice". In all situations you phrase the things as if its the men who are the ones judging while the women are just off to the side minding their own business ergo its bashing men. Look at how women really act, what women really think as well as how men act and how men really think and you will find that while both parties do judge the situation and can be judgmental its a very even divide. Women are not above this as you seem to allude to, in fact they do it quite frequently.

    • The appropriate list should have been how if a guy asks a girl out and she rejects him becuase he was "creepy"(not her type) or how he wasn't an asshole (because technicly its been proven that they do actually preffer assholes, men who have one or more of what is considered the "dark triad" traits actually have higher count of sexual partners then those who do not. http://www. medicaldaily. com/bad-boy-narcissistic-dark-triad-375294 they also preffer men who are less responsive to them (available): coffeemeetsbagel.com/.../ )
      these would have been reasonable counter points to your statement of what women have to deal with ie being called a gold digger or shallow etc. Because then you would be criticising the behavior of both parties. But you didn't, you only criticised men and that was the issue it was a one sided bashing of men (like they don't get that enough) despite claiming to be neutral.

  • I'll take being too nice and having it twisted into I only could have wanted sex from her.
    I made the mistake of trying to be her freind after asking her out. All that wasted effort and then she calls me an ____ and then she tells me that I only wanted into her panties.

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  • hun this was dumb this wasn't a guy and women thing
    ALL OF THIS WAS ABOUT WOMEN AND A WOMEN'S VIEW
    you have no idea what you are talking about and you don't understand men
    this was very wrong lol

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  • Overall yes, however it's more complicated that yes.

    Are we talking one night stands or relationships, two very different sets of criteria for both.

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    • Dating not relationships

    • What is dating anyway, if your want a relationships it's one thing, if it's casual it's something else, the word dating is meaningless unless is used for non casual relationships.

    • Dating is getting to know someone before determine if you want a relationship

  • Lol yea. Some girls who get rejected will come up with crazy reasons or convince themselves they weren't interested rather than accept they got rejected.

    Female friend of mine has spoken with a few girls I wasn't interested in (they befriended her to get a shot at me). Some of their excuses were crazy.
    "He's not over his ex". We actually never even spoke about exes and I was enjoying my time dating around, not wanting a girlfriend in that moment. She didn't change that.

    "He just likes white girls". I've actually dated latinas, filipinas and women of other ethnicities. Race isn't a factor for me.

    "He doesn't recognize a good woman that would do anything for him". I just met the girl... enough said lol.

    Then there are the girls that compliment you and then immediately retract that compliment when you turn them down. Or the girls that say they love you, but if you say you're not interested. She hates you AND you're shallow. Lol. I've literally spoken to fat women who will regularly talk shit about other women or men that hit on them who were not hot enough for her. But will turn around and talk about guys that won't date her, because they are shallow and won't date a fat girl...

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    • Wow you meet a lot of bad women

    • Well, most were good people lol. Their feelings were just hurt. Most of them was during college when I was spending a lot of time playing the field. a lot of these girls I didn't date. They just hungout with me and made an advance I turned down. That's when they tried to save face

  • Nice Take but will you please elaborate me the Last point under women. I think I am confusing something...

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What Girls Said 4

  • First, I think this take is more spot on than even you give yourself credit for. One of my first ever questions on GAG was literally about one of your first points which is why when some guys gets rejected, do they immediately snap on you and figure you're some kind of B for not wanting to date them. A question has two outcomes, yes and no. If you didn't want the possibility of no, then don't ask. Women have the free will to choose who they want to date. When you ask a perfect stranger, you know nothing about them. Maybe they just broke up, maybe they are gay, maybe they are already in a relationship, maybe your breath smells horrible, or maybe they just aren't attracted to you. It's insane that some think that just because they come over to ask you, you are mandated to say yes. I've never once in my life called some guy an a-hole for asking me out. If I didn't want to go out with them, I am nice and polite in my rejection because I know it probably took some extra to be able to approach someone they didn't know or know well, but to me, in the long run, if your approach is to then resort to a pathetic defense mechanism such as name calling or trying to somehow shame me for rejecting you... guess what, that guy has made my choice of no abundantly clear for me that I made the perfect choice. I will say however, the fair majority of men who have approached me have been very respectful and nice about it whether I gave a yes or no answer. And that's how it should be. Great take.

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  • I once rejected a guy multiple times. When I finally asked him why he kept being so persistent, why he wouldn't just take no for an answer, he told me that he just can't take rejection. The way I see it is, it's not my problem. Everybody gets rejected. Somehow, in his mind, it was like I had to say yes to him to appease his issue with rejection. Maybe it's an entitlement thing? Don't know...

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    • Yea I do not like guys like that

    • he wasn't nearly as bad as the jerk who stalked my house... but yeah, neither do i

    • I agree with everything you said however saying that girls don't like nice guy's is a generalization and nice ghys who aren't confident get rejected i honestly feel a little hurt when i get rejectef but i pick my head up and move on life is too short to be bitter and live in a world of self hatred.

  • I don't really experience the girl part the same. Getting called a bitch for rejecting someone is something I recognize, but being viewed as slutty usually only happens when you don't say no often enough for as far as I've seen.

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  • Nice take! :) I agree. Hopefully more people will read it.

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