Things That Matter, Aside From Good Looks

Things That Matter, Aside From Good Looks

Now, before I start this list, I just want to clarify that looks ARE IMPORTANT. Actually VERY important, but they also aren't everything. You may initially like someone because they are attractive but there are so many things that contribute to someone liking you or you liking them, and here are some of them.

1) Confidence

Yeah yeah, you've heard this one a thousand times before. But I couldn't really skip it. There will always be something incredibly attractive about someone who goes for what they want and are confident in themselves. And the most attractive way someone can be is initially nervous around you but a complete badass around everyone else.

2) Talent and Uniqueness

There's something unnappealing about getting to know someone and realizing they don't really care about being particularly good at anything. Whether you're an athlete, an artist, or a musician, being really good at something you're passionate about is so attractive and amazing. It makes you who you are, if you're never passionate about anything, then you aren't anything special.

3) Kindness

Being a good person just for the sake of wanting to be a good person is absolutely beautiful. This should be obvious. Nobody pictures their true love to be a cold hearted person.

4) Relatability and Understanding

People want to be around someone who listens to them, understands them, and can relate. They want to be with someone that makes them feel good about themselves, and relating to their achievments or dissappointments makes them feel connected to you.

5) Initiative

Say you're in a room with one really attractive guy/girl and one relatively attractive guy/girl and the really attractive one ignores you whilst the relatively attractive one comes up to you and starts to talk to you and get you laughing. Which one are you going to be more likely to go for?

So here are five things that are just as, if not more, important than looks.


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What Guys Said 18

  • 2mo

    What good is confidence when you don't have the looks?

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  • I have only Kindness, Reliability and Understanding, that's obviously not enough, I'm still single, never had a relationship or anything.
    :(

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  • Good take!
    Many people are focusing their comments on things that are generalisations and aren't even mentioned here - money & x/10 looks. If this take was written in exact same manner by a guy then girls would've said "Guys only want sex. Guys are shallow."
    Ignoring these common things that almost everyone definitely desires but focusing on some negative things which don't happen in real that often.
    Kinda funny, isn't it? Internet.

    On the matter of initiatives, I feel that girls should take more initiatives.

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  • Nothing matters beyond good looks. A person could not have any of those and still be desirable if they're hot.

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  • This is all good but again for 5) this only works if they are close to attractiveness. Like a 7/10 vs 9/10. If this was a 5/10 guy coming over to you and try to initiate a talk and make you laugh, you would quickly try to end the conversation with him as soon as possible to so you could win the 9/10 male's attention.

    4) Again not really big of priority for women. Plenty of guys are reliable, try to connect with common topics/likes/dislikes only for girls to show disinterest because they aren't 8/10 male.

    3) Studies show women aren't swayed one way or another whether a man is kind or not. Kindness is only a factor for improving women's standings with men.

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  • That's great but once you have all these you only need a six pack and model like looks and girls MIGHT even pay attention to you.

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  • You forgot black lives.

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    • What about black lives?

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    • Lol that was actually kind of funny.

    • I actually giggled like a school girl when i read this, too bad people are dense, or troll enough to not take the joke tho

  • And you'll be even more successful if you cynically apply the "bad" versions of these traits (confidence = arrogance, initiative = pushyness, etc.).

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  • In reference to #2. I wouldn’t say you have to be particularly good at something like a sport, an artist or play guitar. If you are thats great and definitely something admirable. I would say you at the very least need to stand for something and know who you are and what your about, thats what makes a confident and attractive person. I know the kind of people that your referring to that just don’t seem to care or want to be about anything and it’s easy to see why nobody wants to date them

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  • some time looks can deceive.

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  • Looks mean heehaw lol. A present can look beautiful with shiny paper and a silk ribbon but if there's nothing inside it's worse than useless. It's offensive. Looks fade and tarnish. A good soul doesn't. Confidence, kindness, patience, all those things come from sound morals. Humbleness, servitude, a desire to make others happy, selflessness, respect. Those are the characteristics that make a person attractive. A mirror will never give you grace, charm and charisma. Those draw people like magnets. That comes from within.

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  • Looks isn't everything... but a pretty face never hurts... nor six-pack abs

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  • Nice take...

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  • Initiative is the most important of anything. Because girls never fucking do anything. And by initiative, I mean asking the girl out.

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    • I've asked the guy out countless times, but then they act like a dick about it because they get cocky. It just doesn't work, there's a reason for everything.

    • Fine, I guess I''ll say the MAJORITY of girls. VAST. MAJORITY.

  • Uhm! Where's money and status/power?

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  • That only matters if you have the looks and/or money.

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    • Let me ask you this. You're in a room with a super attractive guy and a fugly guy... the attractive guy ignores you , but the other guy actually comes up and approaches you flawless confident, everything which one would YOU go for?

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    • Did I say four? I meant forty. You're too old to be here little man

    • Ohh leave the 'old' man alone!

  • Very mature take - You are right underneath it all attraction is a combination of a number of things rather than looks, it is the whole person and often people go for different things in what they are attracted to but the five you listed a very common desirables for people.

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  • good job thanks

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What Girls Said 5

  • Obviously I would go with the guy who is talking to me. Honestly looks aren't everything I tend to look deeper into a guy than just his appearance.

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  • I have all of the above ;)

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  • But people don't need to try so hard to pursue someone once they know their true worth. That person comes to them instead. Things just *flows.

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  • If you're not passionate about anything doesn't mean you're not anything special. Wtf? Everyone is special. Some people have reasons why they can't pursue things they're passionate in so get over yourself this was a terribly written article

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    • And who says that just because you are "passionate" about sports or art it means you're more special than another person? That's total bs and makes absolutely no sense.

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    • This is coming from a girl that can properly type and incorporate good grammar into her responses. Also from a girl this isn't illiterate enough to add a picture of herself on a site dedicated to asking anonymous questions, and then calling people I've never seen "ugly".

      Ah yes, the truth comes to volition. You're just pissed about something you misinterpreted as racist. 😂

  • The one about uniqueness is ridiculous. Most people by far are nothing special, being passionated about something does not make you qualified for that post. Are you boring if you have not yet found the thing you are passionate about? And in a similar way you can be fanatically passionate but boring out of this world.

    This whole obsession with being a special snowflake needs to stop.

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    • Well, no one likes what's average, right?

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    • @under_the_sun

      The talent and uniqueness only applies to what women are looking for in men. We men dont expect women to be unique or talented, we only look for someone who is pleasant to hang out with and looks good. Women require both looks and uniqueness/status etc.

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