Men Making Women Wait For Them

Can you please stop making us wait?

I know you have learnt the hard way that women respond better if you keep them waiting for you.

I know you are busy and don't feel the need to communicate as much. I know you may not even be that interested. I know you have other options. I know I'm not the best you could probably be with. I know you've got work and friends and I'm not a priority just yet.

But you could just send a message or call to say hi, sorry couldn't make plans this weekend.

I know you need to make me know my place.

But the thing is, while you're thinking all this, or perhaps not even thinking about me at all, I'm really sad.

We get sad and confused, but we're so terrified that we'll appear clingy (shock horror) and annoying that we can't reach out.

It's a catch 22.

I know you feel more in control when you withhold yourself, and yeah I get it. I'm a woman, we get it - we withhold sex to maintain control, I know we do.

But I'm lying here in tears, I'm sad, I like you, we connected, we flirted, we talked endlessly.

I don't play games when I respect someone enough to like them romantically. So please don't play them with me.

I know you aren't heartless, but whenever men do this, it feels like you're all heartless monsters.

I wake up with a broken smile, I'm crying inside but I can't show it because even my friends and family would think I'm being weird and clingy (God forbid). So society be damned for the creature it makes of us all.

I get why you all do it, I'm just asking for you all to stop if you can see that real women never play games. And we go all in, so things that seem so little to you are mini heartquakes to us. And we can't tell anyone.


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What Guys Said 57

  • Great writing wow, yeah I HATE playing games and all that childish shit! Best of luck sis

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  • The simple reality is that when a woman loses attraction for you, she becomes as cold as if she never met you. It doesn't matter if it was a girl who you met yesterday, someone you've been chatting with for six months, or a long term girlfriend.

    Why on earth do we men need to behave to a higher standard? You want better, stop training us to be heartless. Women reap what they sow.

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    • No, not women. Insecure girls in women's bodies. They aren't all of us.

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    • if you want, go check a graph of womens fertility.

      aside from that, its just common sense that women are hotter in their early 20's than early 30's. unless you're a 30 year old woman.

    • Sorrybut he's right op. From about 35 onwards fertility of a woman decreases. Thats why women get more despeeate somewhere at 30 onwards

  • But when we express our feelings, we get turned down cause we went too fast, we appear clingy, we didn't play...
    So what do we do? Why don't you tell us straight up what's happening instead of playing games.
    Don't blame society, blame yourself for caring about what society says.
    If you want it, go get it, but 90% of women do nothing, they just wait and wait for the guy... we get tired from that, you know, cause we thinl you aren't interested. If we're the ones initiating every single time, how do you think that feels? We have feelings too. If you want yours to be taken into consideration, think about ours too. It's a two way street.

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  • I have something I need to say to you about this article.

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  • I'm gonna say this as delicately as I know how. Males tend to be persistent creatures. Men who weren't as persistent as their competition had their genetic line die off. If he isn't pursuing you after you reciprocate your interest and your point of view he probably isn't all that into you.

    The simplest advice I could give would be to make yourself desirable and they will chase you. Let nature run its course.

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  • Request denied.

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  • "I know you have learnt the hard way that women respond better if you keep them waiting for you."

    This is the simple truth. We have to make you wait even if we don't want to. Sure you might belong to that minority of women where we don't have to do this but we have no way of knowing and we know the odds are against it...

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  • hahahahahaha... it is what it is... this is tantamount to asking women to stop nagging.
    thats why i keep it simple... keep the "talking" to a minimum and the fucking to a maximum.
    problem solved.
    as for women using sex as some kind of weapon of control... i always disclaim to girls that i get with that should they do that... there is ALWAYS another girl who will have sex and I've got her number... so you want to withhold sex... fine.. but im STILL gonna get mines lol, if not from you, from someone else...
    then im gonna dare her to withhold again. they usually don't.

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    • Do they stick around as well?

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    • Okay... But none of them ended up being with you today?

      Can I tell you something? You sound like a really mean guy. What I imagine when you talk like this:

      You date a girl and expect her to spread her legs when and wherever you want it, she might not be in the mood, you go have sex with another woman, come back and tell your girlfriend about how you cheated on her and rub it in her face how unimportant she is save as a sex object.

      Why would you do that to someone you want to be with? Or do you not want love? You just want sex?

    • i won't lie.. i AM a mean guy... because I've had it with women's double standards. When i express my wants... im categorized as mean, or a jerk, or a douche. but when women do... its supposed to be legit. i don't give a shit anymore. I went primal... nature didn't make male n female equal... and i sure as hell use that.
      I only TRY to be civil cuz im modern, but anyone that tries to take that for weakness... finds out real quick. i don't expect my girl to open up for me when i want... she has her mind and choice... but i hope she knows that if she doesn't, someone else will. because she was my "go to" and she rejected me... doesn't make the want go away... it still has to be satisfied... primal.
      Lol... you called me mean... im blushing... thats the nicest thing I've been called recently.

  • Welcome to our world ! "Oh i don't know, maybe i'll play 'hard to get', what do you think?" *best friend of the girl i am imitating* "oh yeah defiinitely"
    Stop complaining, you did it to us for years, and now that the tables have turned you have nothing to say ^^

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    • So much hate where love is concerned. Men are mad.

    • women made us that way. what is the problem : the monster? or it's creator (i. e. Frankenstein)

  • Serves you bitches right because you all play games with men,

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    • Go to hell.

    • I'm already here.

  • You sound like a nice girl, if you are single are you interested in dating me :)?

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    • Aw thank you for making me smile and yes 💕😘💙

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    • Same to you 😊😊😘

    • Can you pm me :)?

  • If a guy doesn't text/call he doesn't like you, so stop waiting.

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  • Again, another issue that women do WAY more then men...

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    • You know that's not true. Everyone knows that the issue of a guy not calling or losing interest is a lot more prevalent than a woman not calling or losing interest.

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    • lol.. I have thought the same thing
      and a lot of childish idiots

    • 😊😔

  • Making wait a woman is a very rude behaviour.

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    • Yes it is but its like men don't know how to just explain themselves.

    • Nope, it is not about knowing themselves; it is about how men are free and indifferent to world in which they live lol.

    • I said explain themselves not know themselves...

  • As you said, know your place, woman. There are no games. Extend a finger and you'll bite off our arms. We know how this goes..

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    • I'm starting to think this site is full of heartbroken people.

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    • making friends and spending time with them is a great way to do that. Friends will generally point out the best in you and encourage you in pursuit of your goals. Something to take pride in.

    • It's difficult making friends at this age - especially when you can only socialist with the 'elite' in a very small community - I live in a strange place and any social interaction is actually quite draining.

  • If I don't communicate it's usually cause I don't want to come of as needy or creepy

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    • I know the feeling - being a clingy female is anathema. But frankly I think that I might have just spoken too comfortably with him. My friend was shocked and horrified when I told her that I used to speak to him no differently than how I spoke to her. I guess I should have played games but... I want a relationship. I would never respect a man enough to have a relationship if I played games on him - and I would no longer respect myself.

    • And that is great if you can do that, but not everyone speaks the same to everyone. Most people don't even speak the same on the street as they would on the internet! Different situations, different contexts, different people, different ways of understanding, the list goes on...

  • Awesome writing.. I know how you feel, I've been there. I think you have to ask your self, is he worth waiting for.

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    • Thanks x... Maybe you're right. He really isn't worth it. Slowly I'm thinking of him less.

  • You say "real" women never play games after describing playing a game.

    It's also possible that the problem is mostly centered around you being *too* insecure, not a guy's 'failings' to soothe your issues - and if you want them soothed then here's an idea, stop waiting and be active for once.

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    • I don't play games - in fact I'm too upfront and blunt. I work, I have a life, I don't have time to second guess a guy so I assume they're the same. I call, I message, and then when I see a guy not paying attention and taking his sweet time or flirting with other women, I stop trying to get his attention. Then circumstances leave us alone together and he's that sweetheart again. then he vanishes again. How am I supposed to feel except heartbroken and unable to talk about it? I don't withhold sex or affection, I love fully. In fact everything you men complain about here - I DONT DO. But it doesn't seem to matter. Men see no difference.

  • Don't invest your entire heart into a relationship right away. Most guys play games with women because they don't trust women not to play games with them. It takes a special kind of coward to be this distrustful, I know but that's modern romances for you.

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    • I see. We are friends first though me and him... It makes things a little more confusing. I keep attending group gatherings in the hope to see him but I found out he's gone on a trip.

  • This is funny because as a dude I literally felt the exact same thing but instead of writing it I proceed to pretend like I was cool with how things were going. And tried my best to go about my day like nothing negative had happened. Because I blame myself for not doing things right. Because I'm the guy. I'm the one who's suppose to just know how this stuff works and have all the perfect moves and behaviors to convince her I'm great and worth it. But I'm not so imma just go back to keeping to myself.

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    • Emma Watson have this speech at the UN about her campaign #heforshe... In it she mentions how she sees her male friends become men not learning to manage their emotions - forced to aspire to a biased gender role. That said I can never manage my emotions. I know we women say we'd like a man who is in touch with his softer side but then we generally go for the emotionless jerk... To quote another user: I guess hats modern romance for you.

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What Girls Said 19

  • 👍🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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  • Yes, those types of men are immature. Why leave a woman hanging? Just be upfront. If you're not interested , you're not interested. No need to pretend you are and mysteriously fade away with no communication m

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    • Women leave men hanging all the time, can you blame us for stop trying?

    • I know my ex girlfriend would withhold sex all of the damn time and then she wonders why I would make her chase me.

    • because women like to be left hanging. The minute a guy shows he's keen they lose interest as he's suddenly became predictable i. e. boring

  • He prolly has another lover around

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    • You think so? So I'm just someone he flirts with but can't break up with because we're all part of a friend group and we're not even dating in the first place.

  • FUCK NO! I don;t make him wait for me! I don't use sex to control men! I am only going to have sex with people I am comfortable begin naked with! So stupid.

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  • Are you the same author?

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  • Omg... I can so relate to what you wrote and have been going through that as well and had those same thoughts run through my head.
    The only thing, though, is that I don't withhold sex from my man to maintain control. I've never been one to do that.

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    • Neither have I - but I think a lot of women do. And they're never alone :(

    • Yes, I agree that a lot of women do; I've heard of those before.

  • I totally get what you are saying here. I used to feel that way, and still do sometimes. However, if a person is making me wait a lot, then I lose interest. Basically I lose interest because if they actually wanted me to be a part of their life, they would make an effort. If they aren't showing any interest, I am out the door and investing my time in people who want to be in my life.

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  • Amen!

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  • I fucking love this take!! I'm feeling like this right now 😔

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  • Amen! Exactly what I am going through right now.. Eventually I'll be sick of the games and leave.. I shouldn't have to wait for him to grow up and be there like he promises..

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  • Girl you are 100% accurate. Its frustrating like hell. Its not fun. It is confusing. I dont understand why they cannot be upfront especially after they know that we officially like them. You know we like you.. you know we will devote ourselves to you so why act distant to see what else you can get from us? There is nothing else at that point... because like you said at that point it makes us get clingy... and then oh lord all hell breaks lose at that point because you are now running for the hills from us.

    Damn if we do damn if we don't.

    It is always the good girls that are honest and upfront that share their feelings that get the rug pulled from under them. This recently just happened to me and I am frustrated through the roof. I get it they get scared but thats where communication comes through. You won't be less of a man if you express your fear of a relationship, or the need to go slow... or that they really like us and their feelings scare them. Because then we can reassure them... go at a pace that works.

    HATE GAMES...
    You said it... mini heartquakes..
    grrrr

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  • This is the most true thing I've ever read. I feel like such a mess because I get so invested in someone and I never feel like it's reciprocated. To say it feels like a rollercoaster is so cliched but also exactly how I feel. Within seconds I can go from absolutely fine to elated, from elated to crushed. Sending him a text has become terrifying, the kind of thing I have to press send on without looking or I'll never do it. Because I just don't know what he's thinking. I feel like I've been clear and I get so many mixed signals from him which like, yeah I understand why, but it hurts. It's hard for me to put myself out there and not feel like it's making any difference. I don't feel like he doesn't like me, but I don't feel like he's making any effort either.

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  • Ughh I feel you. My boyfriend has been doing this to me lately and it pisses me off. Makes me think I'm to blame.

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  • Guys who treat you like that are just not interested in you (anymore). Same goes for girls. Mystery solved!

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  • I dont 'know my place'. I'm not a servant, if a guy isn't interested or i intent on having me believe so, I'm not 'sad', I'm moving on.

    You are talking bout guys who dot respect you. this is not standard behavior, but as long as you accept it you will not move beyond it. If you feel clingy simply by communicating with someone you are interested in, they re not the worsen for you and you are not ready for a relationship. Not until you can respect your self.

    No i dint use sex to control a person. what would be the point? if they only want you bc you withhold, then its all fake and it'll be over as soon as they get what they want.

    if you can't take yourself seriously no guy will. if a guy can't take you seriously dont accommodate that. move on.

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  • So damn accurate 😭💔

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  • Men are soo annoying!
    They say something that seems like it's what there saying but then it's not or they change it

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    • Men are annoying? O ya? :(

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    • Women don't say what they want/mean either thus why there is so many meme's going around translating what "fine" means if a woman says it lol

    • @Silver119 like I said in the end we girls can be annoying too
      But when a girl says she's fine just leave her and she would come back or ask her what's wrong depends on the girl
      When I say I'm fine I need to be alone for a while

  • stop waiting and crying.
    instead, forget and have things to do, go out, meet friends, have a full life where there is no time to be sad and waiting...
    and the funny thing, that when we stop think of them and wait for them and have a full our own life, guys usually appear and call and text... bcoz they afraid u will forget about them lol

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  • I don't wait more than a couple weeks for obvious signs of real interest and effort from a guy. move on if you're not getting what you want from a guy.

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