Why It Is Equality For Men To Pay For Dates

I would agree that in an ideal equal world, men and women would pay half for dates.

However, we live in a world where men and women are in very different situations, and thus, treating men and women the exact same in all situations does not necessarily lead to equality, but rather can increase inequality in some instances. Equality does not necessarily mean same. For instance, 2+3 and 4+1 are equal, but not the same.

In this current society, women paying half for dates would only exacerbate inequality. On average, women make less money than men, and also are required to pay many more expenses than men, from menstrual products to bras to clothing (it is considered unacceptable for women, but not men, to rewear clothes) to gyno appointments to makeup. There is also evidence that women’s products cost more than equivalent men’s products (aka the pink tax).

In our current society, men paying for dates serves to decrease this inequality in expenses required to be paid. This is why I am not concerned with the societal expectation in which men are expected to pay for (hetero) dates, and in fact am opposed to this expectation being alleviated (at least in cases where the man is financially capable of paying), until we acquire the ideal world in which men and women make an equal amount of money and men and women are required to pay an equal amount of expenses outside of dating.

In this current society, expecting women to pay the same amount for dates will only serve to increase inequality.

Why it is Equality for Men to Pay for Dates


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What Guys Said 78

  • Well this is all completely inaccurate. Women do not make less then men, period. This is something that has been debunked so many times I am astonished its still parroted so freqeuntly. The only three occupations where their is a pay gap is in modeling where women make an insane amount more then male models (the highest paid female makes 47 million, the highest paid male makes 1.5 million) pornography where women make more then men (100 to 250 thousand for women to a mans 40 thousand), and STEM fields where women make more for starting pay because of the female only highering quotas (yet another unfair advantage women have over men). The only reason why that number was gotten was because they compared male salaries to female salaries not comparing men and womens salareis in the same field. Thats like being upset that a social worker (80% female) doesn't make as much as a surgeon (80% male). It also refuses to acknowledg that women gravitate towards certain jobs (of their own free will, which women do have) and men do so as well and that men and women are not identical and thus gener parity is not something that will happen unless its forced onto both parties against their will. This is all established fact: www.washingtonexaminer.com/.../2580405
    Also the fact that women make up 80% of all domestic spending in the US, that is 80% of all money being spent is by women despite the fact that men tend to make more because they choose higher paying jobs shows that women are spending their money and mens money too (which is what you are advocating), its 70% of global domestic spending as well so again you have no excuse. Women are the most pampered group in society. Stop playing this game if you want to be treated like nobility like women where historicly (that was chivalry, the treatment of women as if they where nobles, since chivalry is an oath of feality to nobility that was then applied to women) fine. If you want men and women to be equals also fine. But you can't have both. Either you stick to your gender role and he his or you are both not bound to it. This bullshit where you get to do what ever the hell you want and he has to act in the very restricting typical male role is not only not equal, its objectifcation (you want a walking paycheck) and sexist (not that you will care) not to mention blatently hypocritical. Just admit you want to use men as a paycheck and move on stop trying to justify your bigotry.

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    • Well why do surgeons make more than social workers? In Russia doctors are given the same respect as kindergarten teachers are here. Why do you think that is? Here's a hint: they're all women. Women-s work is devalued and that is why female dominated jobs pay less.

      And female porn stars are obviously paid more because men are more comfortable having sex with random strangers and thus will do it for a much smaller sum of money.

      And just wondering, what are the roles that I would have to abide by if I wanted the man to pay for my dates?

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    • job of it at that. No, women get paid more because its the demand, it has nothing to do with the men being willing to perform. Its not pleasent work and not every one is capable of doing it so it has nothing to do with men being "more comfortable" with it. Your having sex sure, but its in front of dozens of people you have to stop constantly your tired because its a twelve hour day and its not with some one you want its with the who the studio says and its quite miserable by all accounts. Its demand, its watched for the women their fore they control the market value for their work. So why did you neglect to mention modelling? Or STEM fields? Or the female highering quota for male dominated fields (but only the good ones, seems women are just fine with men doing all the shit jobs like mining waste managment and construction) but none in the female dominated fields (like social work, pediatrics, psycology, HR managment, secretarial work, teaching, etc)?

    • As for what a woman could do to get free shit its very simple. If he has to follow the traditional gender roles then so does she. You don't get both. You either follow through with your duties and obligations as a woman ie cooking cleaning, nurturing, having sex with him when he wants it not when you want it, and allowing him to have final say in decisions. Then in turn he can provide for you ie pay for everything, shelter you, put food on the table, protect you, and ensure you have a good life. Those where the traditional roles and obligations. So if he is investing all of that into you you damn well better be giving the same amount of dedication and effort back. Or you can be equals in all things and pay for your own shit and take care of your own needs and wants and he can take care of his. Those are the options. Anything else is not only unequal but selfish and hypocritical.

  • m.quickmeme.com/.../...4e7c8a36d2eeb1c63645221.jpg
    Sigh... I was really, really REALLY hoping this was a troll, but some people are beyond saving. I'm sorry. But...
    http://i.imgur.com/kdQVd1q.gif

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    • We're not expecting men to pay for everything. Women pay for bras, menstrual products, gyno appts, papsmears, birth control, etc.

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    • So stop wearing bras. Most of us would certainly have no problem... Seriously though. If you really wanted to you can sit here and compare and contrast what the sexes buy. IT DOESN'T MATTER, your logic is terrible in the first place.

    • @StreetLevel everything is a choice, dont wear a bra not my problem

  • I'd pay so that you can get into a mental institution. The stupidity needs to be fixed asap.

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  • And feminists wonder why they're hated so much...

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  • -The pay gap statistic that say women make 76 cents for every dollar a man makes did NOT compare similar job types, experience, or hours worked. It only compared the average pay of all men to the average pay of all women.

    -Pink tax... If you genuinely believe the male version of products works just as well as the female products then by all means, purchase the male version if its cheaper. No one is forcing you to buy the women's version.

    -Rewearing clothes... Men don give a fuck if you re-wear clothes, hell we probably won't even notice it. Women are the ones that put that pressure on each other. Some guys wouldn't even care if you showed up to his place naked, so if you really want to save money that's always an option.

    Also what happened to that line feminists always shove down everyone's throats, "THAT WOMEN DRESS FOR THEMSELVES AND NOT FOR MEN" Oh so suddenly that doesn't apply here =.=

    To be honest I wouldn't care about being expected to pay if it was you were actually consistent.

    I don't want to be the guys who pays money to take a girl on dates for over a month knowing the same girl who is expecting me to pay for all the dates and wait over a month for sex has likely sent nude pictures to numerous guys on tinder and had sex by the second or third date with guys she met while dry humping with at a club or party, guys who didn't have to spend a dime on her.

    It would be worth it paying for dates if when I actually got to see her naked and sleep with her it was something special, but no its something a bunch of other guys got with a fraction of the effort. Which is fine, but Id rather be one of those guys, the guys that get it free with no effort. I have no interest in being the guy you're hard to get for when you were easy for all drunk guys at parties. No thanks, I'll pass on that opportunity.

    Oh an another reason why guys should avoid women who make them pay for all the dates..

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qAhO5SLF9Ck

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    • Wow, that is just disgusting. What a pathetic piece of trash

    • Those men are stupid too though for paying for he meals she is not even really attractive maybe above average at best.

  • I believe that guys SHOULD pay for dates, yeah. And you don't even need all the reasons to explain away or justify why guys should. They just should. It's as simple as that. It is male courtesy for his female partner. Why is there even debate about this?

    I feel like the guys who are angry about this and think women need to pay must be guys who are insecure about being men and don't want to have to do their male roles. It's just stupid. Pay for the damn date!

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    • Many people cannot afford to pay for everything. Also, once you have a lengthy relationship you will see you want a partner, not something that is one sided. If I am able to pay, I do. But if I start to date someone, and she does not at least offer to pay for something in the first 3 dates, I drop her. I have done that a few times. Some women don't want a relationship, they want free meals..

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    • "insecure about being men and don't want to have to do their male roles"

      that's an oxymoron. It would be insecure doing roles only because you feel pressured to do them by society and those around you.

    • — "you don't even need all the reasons to explain away or justify why guys should. They just should"

      That is some serious North Korean level bullshit right there. No.

  • In the spirit of equality, equity, "fairness," or any other romantic fluffy word we would like to use...

    Consider an island with 10 men and 10 women. Further, assume that both men and women have limited resources. Assume that "dating" costs resources. Assume that men have only 5 gold coins, and dates cost 1 gold coin. Assume further that each girl wants to go on at least five (5) days before she feels comfortable enough to be in a long-term and sexual relationship with a man.

    How many different women can a man date? (answer: 5)

    How many different women can a man secure a long-term and sexual relationship with? (answer: 1)

    How many different men can a woman date? (answer: 10)

    How many different men can a woman secure a long-term and sexual relationship with? (answer: 10)

    By imposing and burdening men with a cost of dating, what women are doing is essentially limiting the options men have (limiting their alternatives, weakening their bargaining power, and essentially forcing men to subsidize women's bargaining power to increase their own alternatives). Men are deprived of choices, while women are armed with choices, all under this self-serving pre-textual rationale of "equality/equity/fairness."

    Let's look at that argument even deeper.

    When a man spends $X on a specific woman, the "benefits" of spending those resources are non-transferable. In other words, only that specific woman can receive the benefits from that investment. The man cannot transfer the benefits of that spending onto other potential mating/partnering opportunities.

    When a woman spends $X on a dress, make-up, her hair, waxing, etc., the "benefits" of that spending are transferable. In other words, those investments can be used to grab the attention and attract multiple men.

    So, as Justice Louise Brandies used to say, "Sunlight is the best disinfectant." If you expose the economics of what women are essentially suggesting, they are essentially arguing for men to limit their dating choices, while allowing for women to maximize their dating choices. Uhhh... no thank you.

    You want equality... reach into your wallet and invest in the guy you're dating, specifically to that guy, as a non-transferable investment. Otherwise, go run that game on some other dude who will buy what you're selling.

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    • Also, under that logic, "WOMEN" should pay for dates, because do you have any idea how much multi-million dollar homes and fancy sports cars cost? I mean, in order to look attractive and attract the attention of multiple women, I have to make those mortgage and financing payments each month. Not to mention organic food and gym equipment to maintain this body. And don't get me started on the clothes. So, with all that money that poor little old me spends on looking good and being attractive to other women at large, it's only "FAIR/EQUAL/EQUITABLE" that women pay for dates.

  • Sounds like you just want free dinners. It's cool, i get it. But unfortunately for you, times are changing.

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  • The pay gap is a Myth, it has been debunked for decades.

    -Women account for 85% of all consumer purchases including everything from autos to health care:
    91% of New Homes
    66% PCs
    92% Vacations
    80% Healthcare
    65% New Cars
    89% Bank Accounts
    93% Food
    93 % OTC Pharmaceuticals American women spend about $5 trillion annually…
    Over half the U. S. GDP

    - Senior women age 50 and older control net worth of $19 trillion and own more than three-fourths of the nation’s financial wealth.

    -The number of wealthy women investors in the U. S. is growing at a faster rate than that of men. In a two-year period, the number of wealthy women in the U. S. grew 68%, while the number of men grew only 36%.

    I think women can manage paying their half on a date.

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  • your argument is invalid. women don´t earn less then men.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oqyrflOQFc

    also if i date you, why is it my obligation to compensate for me earning more than you? it´s not my fault that i earn more than you is it?

    if i were earning less, there´d be a good chance, you wouldn´t date me anyway, thus i think you shouldn´t be payed on top of choosing the better earning date. (please don´t take this argument too serious i know this is not how it goes down in most cases... just playing the stereotypes).

    i think it´s a sign of good will to invite a person to eating out. but i also think, i´m no 1940´s patriarchist sexist who´ll pay the women for eating with me. we are equal. food won´t set you back a lot so don´t complain if i think that both paying for their food on a date is fair. i mean gender paygap is bogus so why are we even discussing this? xD

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  • It is unfair to assume that ALL men don't spend as much as women do.
    If we are to assume that is true, then what of the men who actually do spend as much or even more? Because of your sexist ideals, they will still be expected to pay for dates, even though they don't abide by this "men in general spend less".

    Lady, if you want things to be convenient for women only, it won't work that way. You have to make it convenient for us as well. And you do that by either just disregarding the whole notion of men having to pay, OR you compensate for men somehow. Like, if men HAVE to pay, you then, for instance, just HAVE to go on another date. OR sleep with the man on the first date. Or somethinh like that.

    Absurd? Well you don't say?

    Otherwise, what do men stand to gain by paying and potentially receiving nothing in return?

    And no..."the privilege" of being in your company does not count. You're not a princess.

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  • Unless we have the situation where both parties arrive with financial statements of incomes and necessary expenditure then they can split the bills according to means (obviously that is not going to happen).
    Splitting the bill is the next fairest option until they are dating long enough so some sort of income fractions of the bill can be brought in. There is no guarantee that the guy is in a better position than the girl, the guy could go on one date a month, the girl could go three times a week, too many variables for a blanket decision either way. So that is why I feel splitting is fairest way. Would it be a dealbreaker probably not for me but it definitely would be registered in the file cabinet.

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  • so men should pay for dates because women go to the gyno and buy makeup and more clothes than men

    I simply don't agree with that. what if the man makes siginificantly less money than a woman? should the woman pay for all dates then?

    i thnk the simple fact is that you can't allow your economic situation dictate how your dates go in the terms of if a man should pay for things. my feeling is if you can't afford to out on a date then don't go out. but i don't see gyno bills, clothes, makeup, or even lesser pay at work stopping women from going to the bars, clubs, sporting events, etc.

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  • Women don't want equality. They want everything laid at their feet. It's megalomania. Imagine real equality. Women calls you a creep and you break her jaw. No more chivalry. Women pulling their weight for a partner. No more maternity leave. No more special exceptions in work. Ridiculed like a man gets amongst his mates. Women don't get the brunt of real life coz men have shielded them from it. Its brutal unless you've got the right attitude. A man with a bad attitude anywhere gets it harsh. Women get treated with kids gloves. No more of that. It was fine the way it was. Always the loud few ruining it for everybody

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    • "Real equality; women calls you a creep and you break her jaw" Orrrrr how about you just stop hitting people in general?
      How about you stop making fun of male friends?
      You shouldn't achieve equality by extending injustice upon an unaffected group but by removing injustices from the affected group.

      And by the way in the US there *is* no guaranteed paid maternity leave.
      And men SHOULD get maternity leave, if they give birth. (Trans men do.) That's equality.

    • You obviously don't live in the real world. Everybody around you are good little worker bees. They go to church every Sunday and make love to their partners the same time every week. They're shit scared to step outside the little line society painted for them. Inside they're screaming though. Dying to cut loose and do something reckless and impulsive. In my world men do hit men that mess with them. Women do get maternity leave and they do get the courts on their sides. They can be horrible bitches and a lot of them do need a belt in the mouth to get the wind out of their sails. Glad you live in paradise.

  • I've read some stupid shit on gag but this takes the cake. So I'm going to give you an equally ridiculous list as to why women should pay half, hell pay the whole date. 1. Condoms 2. Deodorant (We all know men sweat more)3. A nice sporty car with high dollar rims (we all know women don't want a man in a hoopty)4. Shaving cream and razors (it is now the norm for men to be hairless. Do you know how fucking hairy I am?)5. Saving money in a Swiss bank (so if I get divorced I'm not robbed blind by child support and alimony)6. Food (men eat a lot, I mean a lot)7. Rogane (it's not acceptable to be bald in today's world) 8. Vasectomy (when the time comes when we have enough kids to feed, we get snipped) 9. Proctologist (This one makes me shiver in a bad way) etc. etc. etc. Pretty fucking ridiculous huh.

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    • It's not always men who buy condoms.
      Women use deodorant too, sometimes more than men, because women are more judged for being smelly than men. Men may sweat more but that doesn't mean they use more deodorant; their deodorant accomodates for that.
      Women pay for shaving cream and razors too.
      Women eat food too.
      Women pay for things to make their hair attractive too.
      Women use birth control.
      And go to gynos.

    • I was being sarcastic. Why? Because this is dribble. Absolute dribble. The vast majority of your reasons listed are personal choices. Then you want a me to buy you a cookie because you don't have something dangling between your legs. All I really got from this is "I'm high maintenance and that ain't cheap so men man up and pay for my meal".

    • I also forgot jock strap. Jock strap cancels out bra expense. I'm a messy eater so I need more napkins than most so that cancels out pads. It's kinda of fun to play the crazy game. Thanks for the laugh.

  • Long explanation

    Men and woman are not equal though? Your body can't do what my body can. and mines can't either.

    It weird me out when people say we are equal no were not Lol.

    Now what woman want is the same human being rights as a man. Thats totally different.

    And the reason why guys pay for the first date is because 9_times out of ten we asked u to hang out.

    So we are taking u somewhere to hang. I have a male friend I hang out with. When ever I say let's hit the movie theater see batmanv superman I pay for the tickets. He wasn't planning on going there on his own I asked. its common courtesy's.

    But we confused courting a woman with that. Like that part of the rules.

    Once you get to know a girl start splitting thing with her I'll but the tickets u buy the drinks and pop corn. Stuff like that. speak up for your self.

    Not all woman are gold diggers

    We act as if our value as men is money. And woman value is how much can they use of it.

    Yeah there are girl who are gold digger and expect a certain life style well those girl are treated like a value type item.

    You don't want them for there personality right yo want them for the looks and body that they keep up.

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  • Sweet Jesus. Ok, I'll bite... from the top.

    www.collegeatlas.org/top-degrees-by-gender.html
    Yes, on average, women *earn* less money than men. Five of the top 10 college majors men choose deal directly with money (Business Administration, Finance, Accounting, Economics, Marketing). Two are STEM majors. Seven of the top 10 college majors women choose lead to careers working with people, only one of which (nursing) pays fairly well. Two are related directly to money, and one is a STEM major. Four of the top 10 masters degrees men take are STEM and 3 are money. Nine of the 10 most common women's masters degrees are "people" subjects (seven of which are teaching) and one is money. None are STEM.

    More expenses? Men pay well over half of the income tax, and women are more than half of welfare recipients. In other words, we're already giving you money hand-over-fist. On top of that, have a look here and then get back to me on whose money you must already be spending: she-conomy.com/.../marketing-to-women-quick-facts

    "Pink tax"? Use the men's products if they're so comparable. Or, you know... actually look at the products yourself and see why the cost is different. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HEr8zmVEZQ

    On account of the above, men paying for dates serves only to benefit you, not decrease any inequality. You're already spending our money as it is. Could it be that you want to have OUR cake and eat it too? Perish the thought!

    Still not good enough? Buy your own dinner. No? Well the fact that you posted this as anonymous is not surprising.

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    • Our cake and eat it too lol. That's practically the whole point of it from what I can see

    • Men paying "more than half" of income tax & women getting "more than half" of welfare doesn't say mjcb. Even if it was 60%, that's only 10% more than half.

    • https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-soi/10in05w2.xls

      In 2010, men earned about $3.5 trillion total. Women, about $2.1 trillion. The average tax rate in 2010 was 11.81% (http://taxfoundation. org/article/summary-latest-federal-income-tax-data-2012#table8).

      So women paid a total of about $252B in income taxes (which is 38%) and men paid about $408.5B (which is the other 62%). That's a difference of 24%, or $156.5 billion.

      Anything else? I have the numbers showing that men give women $3.2 billion a year in welfare alone, if you want to see them.

  • I mostly agree with what you said about what equality is. I disagree when you say that women have to pay more for clothes and make up. You don't HAVE to pay for that stuff. It's like saying that, as men, we have to pay much more than women do for video games because we play more.
    So while I agree with you when you say equality does not mean we are the same, I disagree when you say it's normal men pay for dates.

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    • Well yeah but video games are an option and pads tampons gyno appt etc are not Options

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    • You realize that the blood comes out without us controlling it right? Like a nosebleed.

    • Yes, I was kidding. That's why I was laughing. I was referring to what a sexist American politician had said. I can't remember which...

  • A lot of great points made in this article. Men and women aren't the same, men do make more money and women do spend more to look good. Hopefully more feminists will write takes like this agreeing with me, and in doing so will turn more and more people away from feminism as they realise what a ridiculous idea feminism and gender equality is (or get offended at the dpuble standard that men and women should be treated exactly the same except when it benefits women, either way they turn against feminism and anti-feminists win). Keep on keeping on.

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    • Are you being sarcastic?

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    • Well how is it inequality to say that if men continue to care more about looks, then women should be able to continue caring more about money?
      Wishing to eliminate women's preference for a provider is only equality if we eliminate mens desire for a hot chick

    • Neither of which will ever happen but feminists are trying to do so.

  • Stupid. So stupid.

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What Girls Said 29

  • I don't agree with this whatsoever. Having a penis doesn't mean you need to foot the bill, to expect that because someone's gender IS sexist. It's no different than a man expecting a woman to do all of the cooking.

    If men were meant to pay for days then penises would shoot money. Women who want equality need to take it in its raw form, not the way that benefits them the most. Seriously.

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    • thank you..

      This is what a real feminist looks like

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    • If we completely get rid of all gender roles it won't be equal; it'll end up with women getting the shitty end of the stick bc we already have more expenses to pay

    • Why doesn't MY penis shoot money? I feel cheated !! Nicely put !!

  • I don't usually laugh at what people write on here, but I did this time. And, it's not a laugh out of meanness or making fun of what you wrote, because I'm not that kind of person. It's more out of the ridiculousness of the reasons you gave. Honestly, I don't see how any these are actually reasons as to why woman can't pay for a date.

    So, let me break it down this way.

    1) Gynecological appointments, which include paps smears are all (or should be) covered under ones medical insurance. So, though you'll pay some the cost of the appointment, you'll only have to pay the amount the insurance company doesn't pay. So, there's that.

    Then there's the part where birth control can also be covered in your medical insurance, if you have prescriptions insurance included in it. Even if you don't, I don't think it would be that much. Also, not all women take the pill, so that's not a legit reason either.

    There's also the part where depending on a variety of things, a women can go years without getting a paps smear. As long as the last one she got came back good and nothing was wrong, from what I've been told she can go three years before she has to get another one. So, that test isn't an every week or every month thing. So, that's not a reason either.

    2) Now, when you say menstrual products are you talking about like tampons and stuff? Because, I don't really think four dollars and ninety-nine cents for Tampax tampons is going to put a woman so far in the financial hole, that she can't pay for a date every now and then. So, that's not a valid reason.

    3) Now, let's talk about bra's and makeup. If a woman chooses to buy more bra's when she already has a bunch, that's on her. Which means, it can't be used as a reason she shouldn't pay for a date or even chip in half. Same goes for makeup, that's a luxury purchase which means she didn't need it but bought it anyway. So, anything someone chooses to spend on stuff they don't actually need, is their choice and shouldn't be used as a reason why you can't pay for a date.

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    • 4) Women have this weird idea, that because they say men make more then women, they mean all men. Truth is, not all guys work in corporate office on the 12th floor with a view of the city and money shooting out of their butt, every time they get off the chair. Most guys are just regular people with regular jobs and regular pay and have to use their cash for paying bills and buying things just like women do. So, I believe this unequal pay thing depends on what career industry you are in because not all men are wealthy enough to pay for everything. Something to think about.

      Truth is, some men make more than women. Some women make more than men. And, some men in women make the same amount. Again, something to consider.

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    • I love you you are my hero

  • This is ridiculous. How much you choose to spend on beauty products and clothes is 100% your decision.

    I am a firm believer in taking turns taking each other out on dates.

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    • What about menstrual products, gyno appts, papsmears, bras etc

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    • How about the one who invites pay, that's sounds fair to me. If someone asks me out, why should I pay, and if I ask a girls out, why should she have any expenses then.

      The one who invites have to pay, that's the rule. Naturally since men usual ask the girl out, then men pays, but both genders have it's strengths and weakness in social and romantic affairs.

    • @smølf that's generally my rule of thumb for first dates but after that I take turns.

  • I don't know. Like, I work hard to earn the money that I do and I have no problem spending it on things I need. I have no problem paying for myself for things, either.

    I'm self-sufficient and I can't imagine being any other way in life. It makes me uncomfortable to ask or expect someone to pay my way for things, especially just because that person may have a dick in their pants.

    I earned the money, if I want to have fun and enjoy myself then I will spend the money I earned knowing full well the repercussions it'll have on my bank account.

    That is the adult decision I make when I decide if I want to go out.

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  • Saying it's equality for men to pay for dates, is a really sexist statement.

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    • Exactly , if ANY man stated " women belong in the kitchen " there would be calls for his public execution !! This train of thought , still VERY prevalent among women , simply puts guys off dating !!

    • @FatherJack They could say that if they are making a joke and the people he's telling it too know he's joking. I make that kind of joke all the time with my boyfriend and it's no big deal.

    • Haha! yup, that's the key!

      I've been known to use the argument with a few ex-SOs that they have a good point, but shouldn't they "be in the kitchen banging around on some pots and pans" or something! LOL! Of course, I never meant it! So crucial is that understanding of one another or else all else is just blah, and just "get out!" please! ahaha!

  • shit mytake.

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    • Why?

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    • I am amazed by your Bravery...

    • Our society's developed past what we've evolved for. Are you incapable of providing for yourself? Maybe when we lived in cave men were needed to go out hunting because of naturally stronger bodies, while mothers cared for children because of their maternal instincts, but we're long past that now.

      Any woman can become a body builder. Any man get be a stay-at-home parent. And any woman get a high paying job and spend the money on exactly what she wants. You can't expect others to pay for you because of your choices.

  • And this whole take is just an excuse because you're not mature enough for a relationship

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    • Not mature enough for a relationship? I guess that our ancestors were too immature for relationships too then because they all went by this norm

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    • But no one is asking you to pay for those. For most of the stuff that you mentioned, you choose to pay for it.

    • If we are going by what our ancestors did, then you wouldn't even be allowed to own most of the stuff you have. Sure men would buy you stuff, but that is because you wouldn't be able to have a job of your own. Just stop... for real. If you don't like it, then date women. Any guy who treats you the way you expect to be treated is not a real man. Have you not realized that you are wrong. Everyone else thinks so.

  • Are you kidding me? Nobody is forcing anyone to buy a ton of makeup, clothes etc. If you buy quality bras/clothes then you won't have to buy more all the time. Rewearing clothes is one of the most normal things a person can do. I've literally never heard anyone calling someone out for wearing the same shirt twice. And if they did, they would get so many weird looks and would be considered a douche for saying something like that. Plus, if you want to stop this (nonexistent) stigma regarding wearing clothes more than once or twice, THEN STOP SUPPORTING IT. I. e. do whatever the fuck you want and stop caring about what other people think about your clothes. That's on you and you alone.
    And if you don't want to waste money on pads and tampons, get yourself a menstrual cup. Appointments to the gynecologist falls under any other medical treatment. Should we pay for the guy's dinner because he goes to the dentist? No. Everyone who's responsible enough pays for birth control. Guys usually pay for the condoms and girls for the pills. I've even heard of people within relationships who split the bill when it comes to birth control pills, especially if they don't use condoms.
    Also, nothing says that dates should be expensive, or even cost anything at all. You could literally go out on a walk and get a 2 dollar ice cream if you want. If you can't even pay for a 2 dollar ice cream because you've already spent it all on bras, makeup and tampons, then maybe you should rethink your priorities when it comes to spending money.

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    • "Should we pay for the guy's dinner because he goes to the dentist? No." No because girls also go to dentists

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    • Not at all.

    • I'm starting to wonder if that age range on the myTake owner is right, and I'm not trying to be an ass. The take is so naive and one dimensional that it's hysterical. I'm fine with people saying guys should pay for dates (tho I believe who ever initiated the date should pay, of course society dictates this be guys too), as a society, we need standards/norms. But the reasons given are so ridiculous I'm just done. And as expected, she went ahead to attack the dentist comment.
      As a side note, I'm actually glad the girls are the ones calling her out more.

  • it's 2016~ if i have a job and disposable income, i can take care of myself.

    when my man and i went on our first date, i came fully prepared to pay for myself. i let him buy me a cup of tea, when he offered, but i paid for my own meal.

    now that we've been together for almost 2 years, we take turns paying for dates. or, if i pay for supper, he'll pay for the movie. other times, we'll split the check.

    men should not be stuck with the tab just because of their gender. if someone is generous enough to pay my way, it's a kind gesture and i appreciate it... as long as it doesn't come with any strings (if you think i owe you sex because you bought me dinner, you've picked the wrong girl).

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  • I agree with you.
    The only people that make excuses not to pay dates are those who are cheap or looking for an excuse out.
    I find the ones that don't want to pay for dates, are the ones that have had a 100 first dates.
    There's a reason why you never make it past the first step, they instead take their anger out on the women and make it seem as if we are ripping them off.

    However, I will state this.
    When a relationship is established with this guy, I will have days where I pay for everything or treat him. Some days I will go half and half. In the beginning stages however, usually it is the male role to woo the woman.
    As much as people hate to stand inside boxes of roles, it exists very much so in our society.

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    • Thank you for your affirmative opinion! I got a LOT of hate on this one!

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    • I agree with the bottom half of your statement but you top half, not so much lol let's say for example: what if you found a guy you really like and he was practically broke and could barely afford to get by on his own. Would you give him a chance knowing that you may have to pay a little more than usual? He would eventually have to save up to pay for both of you though. Or would you move on because he can't afford to pay for you both?

      And I think it depends on how we were raised that allows us to make our decisions

    • Thanks for respectfully replying to me. I can't tell you how many users are hostile and want to rip me a part because they disagree with me. You're maturity is appreciated.
      To answer your question , with that very personal dilemma taken into account if I really liked the guy I wouldn't mind paying more than usual until he stabilizes himself. The fact that he's a guy with goals is enough to make him appeal to me.
      On the other hand , if he were broke and didn't care much about his future I wouldn't even consider him.

  • men should not pay for dates. that just makes women indebted. all the reasons you mentioned, are things that should be rejected on their own, men paying is not a compensation but a trap.

    gynecological vids are paid for in most countries. its backwards that medical care is not a right as a citizen in civl society, as you need health to have good workers and flourishing economy.

    as far as wearing the same thing, there's no law against it. if a guy would rather pay for you than have you re wear clothing he's choosing to control you with money and judgement. thats not a good candidate.

    women products cit more as long as women accept this,. women make less as long as women accept this.

    if men paying for dates creates the illusion things are 'equal' than it is detrimental, and in my opinion people should just go on very cheap dates so no one is sacrificing money and the content of the date is getting acquainted, not being purchased... if you really like a person money isn't necessary. people use money to compensate for lack of chemistry.

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    • menstrual products tho

  • I don't wear makeup or expensive clothing and even while only buying high quality organic pads at a whole $5.99 a month, I can definitely still afford to take turns paying for dates (or spliting the cost) and when I can't, I suggest getting together to do free things.

    if you feel the need to have men pay for everything when you go, cool whatever, that's your thing. but don't make lame ass excuses on behalf of all women in the process. ;)

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  • I just prefer to pay for my own or to split. I've never liked for someone to pay for me. I make decent money now but even when I didn't, I still preferred to pay for myself.

    Also, I've never heard of it being unacceptable for women to wear the same clothes again. This is definitely a new one. I love shopping for new clothes that I can wear many times and that will go with other outfits. Most women and girls I know do this.

    I don't find any of the products that I need to buy sets be back that much. I can buy a box of pads and still be able to afford to buy a meal for myself or anyone else.

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    • Look at the big picture. Think of how much money you spend on pads in a LIFETIME

    • Sure but that doesn't mean a guy is obligated to pay for everything for me. But then again, I like standing on my own two feet, and I've never expected anyone to pay for anything for me. Everything I have in my life, I've paid for myself. I was taught from a very early age not to rely on people.

  • I think the man should pay for the first date but after that it could be a shared approach. NOT splitting the bill but I'll get this one you get the next. But often times in Relationships each person shows they love the other in different ways. I do my guys laundry, cook or bring him meals when we aren't hanging out just to help make his life better and to show my appreciation for him. because I love and want to help him. I think many guys don't have a lot of ways to show their appreciation other than to pay for things. As you said, in many cases the guy earns more. if there are resentments on one side or he other, they should be discussed.

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  • Omg... I was just scrolling down and noticed everyone is arguing on this topic LOL in my opinion I think EVERYONE SHOULD JUST BUY THEIR OWN FREAKING FOOD!!! When you go out with your friends, the reason you pay is because your being nice!!! It's not like your forced to!! That's why guys pay because there being nice to the girl. Also once your married there's no difference cause the money comes out of the same bank account so...

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  • I don't know about all that! But ideal It would be nice if he paid for it. Thats how my daddy taught me! Realistic I don't like taking money from stranger because it makes me feel werid. I rather not eat than have to waste the little money I have. ):

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  • My friend and I are legit doing this right now

    media2.giphy.com/media/TNYy8aY7yateU/giphy.gif

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  • Okay girl 1. If paying for pads bothers you so much then just buy period panties they're reusable and you wouldn't have to pay for pads again
    2. Makeup is an option, no one NEEDS to buy makeup!
    3. Bras can be bought for 20$ at WalMart. You don't need to go to victoria's secret to get a bra that fits or feels good.
    4. Women take fields where there is less money because we like to help people more than men do so we usually take jobs like doctors, nurses, psych nurses, and teachers.
    5. Men don't have to pay for dates all the time it would be nice if you paid for some of the expenses too. I'm not going to order a 100$ plate of fancy food without paying for it, it would be cruel if you didn't think about how much of his money you are spending if he was paying the whole bill. If you both make the same amount if money and he's paying for it, I wouldn't buy anything that I couldn't afford myself.

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  • Fun stou, I hate when people (other than my parents) pay for me. The first time I went to a movie wih a guy I bought the tickets and I let him buy me a packet of candy so he didn't feel bad. I felt really guilty letting him pay, because I'm the older one and I had more money on me at the time

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  • Wow just wow this one of the worst takes I have read.
    Your reasoning is all tilted.
    I make as much or more then any guy in the company I work for.
    Gyno app. & birth control covered by medicare.
    Feminine products are cheap, I use very little in the way of makeup.
    As for clothes some guys pay out big $ for their wardrobe to.

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