Why It Is Equality For Men To Pay For Dates

I would agree that in an ideal equal world, men and women would pay half for dates.

However, we live in a world where men and women are in very different situations, and thus, treating men and women the exact same in all situations does not necessarily lead to equality, but rather can increase inequality in some instances. Equality does not necessarily mean same. For instance, 2+3 and 4+1 are equal, but not the same.

In this current society, women paying half for dates would only exacerbate inequality. On average, women make less money than men, and also are required to pay many more expenses than men, from menstrual products to bras to clothing (it is considered unacceptable for women, but not men, to rewear clothes) to gyno appointments to makeup. There is also evidence that women’s products cost more than equivalent men’s products (aka the pink tax).

In our current society, men paying for dates serves to decrease this inequality in expenses required to be paid. This is why I am not concerned with the societal expectation in which men are expected to pay for (hetero) dates, and in fact am opposed to this expectation being alleviated (at least in cases where the man is financially capable of paying), until we acquire the ideal world in which men and women make an equal amount of money and men and women are required to pay an equal amount of expenses outside of dating.

In this current society, expecting women to pay the same amount for dates will only serve to increase inequality.

Why it is Equality for Men to Pay for Dates


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What Guys Said 78

  • You're talking about women buying accessories men already do I'd they when stand a chance of getting laid lol. Not to mention the fruitless hours of self-improvement, working out, spending on clubs, bars, hobbies and other places you can supposedly meet women (but actually can't). But you don't hear us bitching about it because we know that money is not being spent on you. So you bought a few cosmetics that you probably wear everyday just to look good to your friends anyway. So the world is a sexist pig (by the way, men usage to work harder, dirtier jobs on the whole). None of that is our fault directly. Seriously, screw your misguided and misapplied notions of equality.

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  • I believe that guys SHOULD pay for dates, yeah. And you don't even need all the reasons to explain away or justify why guys should. They just should. It's as simple as that. It is male courtesy for his female partner. Why is there even debate about this?

    I feel like the guys who are angry about this and think women need to pay must be guys who are insecure about being men and don't want to have to do their male roles. It's just stupid. Pay for the damn date!

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    • Many people cannot afford to pay for everything. Also, once you have a lengthy relationship you will see you want a partner, not something that is one sided. If I am able to pay, I do. But if I start to date someone, and she does not at least offer to pay for something in the first 3 dates, I drop her. I have done that a few times. Some women don't want a relationship, they want free meals..

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    • "insecure about being men and don't want to have to do their male roles"

      that's an oxymoron. It would be insecure doing roles only because you feel pressured to do them by society and those around you.

    • — "you don't even need all the reasons to explain away or justify why guys should. They just should"

      That is some serious North Korean level bullshit right there. No.

  • I think it should, I had someone last night who said "I dont care your paying" wtf is that?

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  • m.quickmeme.com/.../...4e7c8a36d2eeb1c63645221.jpg
    Sigh... I was really, really REALLY hoping this was a troll, but some people are beyond saving. I'm sorry. But...
    http://i.imgur.com/kdQVd1q.gif

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    • We're not expecting men to pay for everything. Women pay for bras, menstrual products, gyno appts, papsmears, birth control, etc.

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    • So stop wearing bras. Most of us would certainly have no problem... Seriously though. If you really wanted to you can sit here and compare and contrast what the sexes buy. IT DOESN'T MATTER, your logic is terrible in the first place.

    • @StreetLevel everything is a choice, dont wear a bra not my problem

  • It is unfair to assume that ALL men don't spend as much as women do.
    If we are to assume that is true, then what of the men who actually do spend as much or even more? Because of your sexist ideals, they will still be expected to pay for dates, even though they don't abide by this "men in general spend less".

    Lady, if you want things to be convenient for women only, it won't work that way. You have to make it convenient for us as well. And you do that by either just disregarding the whole notion of men having to pay, OR you compensate for men somehow. Like, if men HAVE to pay, you then, for instance, just HAVE to go on another date. OR sleep with the man on the first date. Or somethinh like that.

    Absurd? Well you don't say?

    Otherwise, what do men stand to gain by paying and potentially receiving nothing in return?

    And no..."the privilege" of being in your company does not count. You're not a princess.

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  • damn you must know everything.

    can you tell me what Yoda's last name is?

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  • so men should pay for dates because women go to the gyno and buy makeup and more clothes than men

    I simply don't agree with that. what if the man makes siginificantly less money than a woman? should the woman pay for all dates then?

    i thnk the simple fact is that you can't allow your economic situation dictate how your dates go in the terms of if a man should pay for things. my feeling is if you can't afford to out on a date then don't go out. but i don't see gyno bills, clothes, makeup, or even lesser pay at work stopping women from going to the bars, clubs, sporting events, etc.

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  • I'd pay so that you can get into a mental institution. The stupidity needs to be fixed asap.

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  • I don't believe in equality but I'll still pay anyway.

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  • Wow those MRA and MGTOW guys would be so happy with this take putting equal rights back a hundred years, perhaps we should ask your father's permission to court you as well.
    If I invite someone for dinner on a date I am obligated to either pay for the meal or cook it as it was me who extended the invitation and vice versa if a woman asked me out.

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  • A guy and a girl both work minimum wage in McDonald's. Guy should pay for the whole date because in some middle class law off a male lawyer is paid more than a female lawyer and screws those averages big time for most normal guys.

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  • If I find a woman that I really want to date, then I'd consider paying for the date. But I'm not expecting to pay for every single date. There's gotta be some give an take. I think you as the writer of this post is biased towards someone paying for your date and all the time. I get how you have to buy more products but what does that have to do with a date? A bra is underwear so it's like us guys who buy underwear for ourselves. But see, some people suggest that all of us guys should pay when I've met some women who want to pay for at least of the date or switch back and forth with me. Tell that to a feminist and see what they say. I've encountered a few who think that guys paying for every date is sexist. That's not me saying that, it was those women that I know. Soooooooo yea. I don't necessarily think that we should pay for every single date. What about gay couples who are dating? What do you think they do to consider paying? Lol

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    • Men buy underpants but so do women, and women also buy bras

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    • Lol you still can't accept it huh?

    • Did you figure out the gay couple situation?

  • I disagree.

    If a female asked me out, I would expect her to pay since she made the offer. If I asked someone, then I would be since I made the offer.

    That is courtesy.

    And just because women make less doesn't mean they get a bye. The two individuals may not even work in the same field. Her 30% less still might be more money per paycheck than his 100%.

    Again, sorry, no byes based on gender role.

    As a matter of fact, if we seek equality, then the term gender role needs to go bye-bye in the first place.

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  • Whoever did the inviting should pay , I think this is common sense , most people provide for their guests at parties & social functions ( ie weddings ) . Women do NOT get paid less than men , certainly not here in the UK as this is a breach of law , most women tend to work less hours.

    I'm a FT working single dad ( thank f*** today is a Bank Holiday , UK public break ) , therefore I will NEVER be dating again due to lack of time , money ( your take reinforces that ) & more importantly , I simply can't be bothered with BS & drama , those 2 little people in my picture come first , plus from a female POV , no woman will want a 45 yr single dad , be real here !! Young women have overtaken young men in earnings if anything nowadays.

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  • The pink tax and gender wage gap are myths. Women do have gender specific (optional) expenses, as I'd imagine men do as well. Technically equality does mean same. Feminism is not seeking equality it's seeking at best equal outcomes, rather than equal opportunity, and at worst supremacy.

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    • Equality does not necessarily mean same. For instance, 2+3 and 4+1 are equal, but not the same.

    • And? What difference does that make? Women, in the west, have the same opportunities as men. I don't see why women don't admit they don't wanted to be treated just as a person let alone like a man. They want to be treated like women. Men and women are different. There's nothing wrong with that.

  • Ok, so I totally agree except for two things: All your premises and the entire concept at large.

    So glossing over how your points other the math analogy are BS, I want to look at one thing: Why do you think you can use an aggregate analysis of a population's income to judge individual situations and not be considered retarded? If you're going to do that then the spending gap really doesn't work in your favor. Making less money isn't evidence of inequality and neither is spending more. It's evidence of choice.

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  • Lol I am 24 and I have gone on many many dates and I have never paid for anyone's food or drink. My first girlfriend was so enamored at the time that she paid for me 😊

    Anyhow like I said in another post... there are plenty of girls who will go on dates with guys they don't even like just to score a free meal and an opportunity to get out. And sadly most guys don't see it...

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    • Oh on a side note:

      Guys should pay for a date because girls have to pay for tampons and gyno appointments?

      That may officially be the absolute stupidest thing I have read on this site...

      You have won my personal Retard of the Year Award!

  • So women should pay 21% less? Regardless of if they make the most money in the relationship?

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  • if hulk hogan was the wwe champion, we would not have to worry about this

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  • Biggest load of bullshit i've read. Women fucking pay for themselves. else fuck off and go eat elsewhere

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What Girls Said 29

  • Fun stou, I hate when people (other than my parents) pay for me. The first time I went to a movie wih a guy I bought the tickets and I let him buy me a packet of candy so he didn't feel bad. I felt really guilty letting him pay, because I'm the older one and I had more money on me at the time

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  • I agree with you.
    The only people that make excuses not to pay dates are those who are cheap or looking for an excuse out.
    I find the ones that don't want to pay for dates, are the ones that have had a 100 first dates.
    There's a reason why you never make it past the first step, they instead take their anger out on the women and make it seem as if we are ripping them off.

    However, I will state this.
    When a relationship is established with this guy, I will have days where I pay for everything or treat him. Some days I will go half and half. In the beginning stages however, usually it is the male role to woo the woman.
    As much as people hate to stand inside boxes of roles, it exists very much so in our society.

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    • Thank you for your affirmative opinion! I got a LOT of hate on this one!

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    • I agree with the bottom half of your statement but you top half, not so much lol let's say for example: what if you found a guy you really like and he was practically broke and could barely afford to get by on his own. Would you give him a chance knowing that you may have to pay a little more than usual? He would eventually have to save up to pay for both of you though. Or would you move on because he can't afford to pay for you both?

      And I think it depends on how we were raised that allows us to make our decisions

    • Thanks for respectfully replying to me. I can't tell you how many users are hostile and want to rip me a part because they disagree with me. You're maturity is appreciated.
      To answer your question , with that very personal dilemma taken into account if I really liked the guy I wouldn't mind paying more than usual until he stabilizes himself. The fact that he's a guy with goals is enough to make him appeal to me.
      On the other hand , if he were broke and didn't care much about his future I wouldn't even consider him.

  • I don't usually laugh at what people write on here, but I did this time. And, it's not a laugh out of meanness or making fun of what you wrote, because I'm not that kind of person. It's more out of the ridiculousness of the reasons you gave. Honestly, I don't see how any these are actually reasons as to why woman can't pay for a date.

    So, let me break it down this way.

    1) Gynecological appointments, which include paps smears are all (or should be) covered under ones medical insurance. So, though you'll pay some the cost of the appointment, you'll only have to pay the amount the insurance company doesn't pay. So, there's that.

    Then there's the part where birth control can also be covered in your medical insurance, if you have prescriptions insurance included in it. Even if you don't, I don't think it would be that much. Also, not all women take the pill, so that's not a legit reason either.

    There's also the part where depending on a variety of things, a women can go years without getting a paps smear. As long as the last one she got came back good and nothing was wrong, from what I've been told she can go three years before she has to get another one. So, that test isn't an every week or every month thing. So, that's not a reason either.

    2) Now, when you say menstrual products are you talking about like tampons and stuff? Because, I don't really think four dollars and ninety-nine cents for Tampax tampons is going to put a woman so far in the financial hole, that she can't pay for a date every now and then. So, that's not a valid reason.

    3) Now, let's talk about bra's and makeup. If a woman chooses to buy more bra's when she already has a bunch, that's on her. Which means, it can't be used as a reason she shouldn't pay for a date or even chip in half. Same goes for makeup, that's a luxury purchase which means she didn't need it but bought it anyway. So, anything someone chooses to spend on stuff they don't actually need, is their choice and shouldn't be used as a reason why you can't pay for a date.

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    • 4) Women have this weird idea, that because they say men make more then women, they mean all men. Truth is, not all guys work in corporate office on the 12th floor with a view of the city and money shooting out of their butt, every time they get off the chair. Most guys are just regular people with regular jobs and regular pay and have to use their cash for paying bills and buying things just like women do. So, I believe this unequal pay thing depends on what career industry you are in because not all men are wealthy enough to pay for everything. Something to think about.

      Truth is, some men make more than women. Some women make more than men. And, some men in women make the same amount. Again, something to consider.

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    • I love you you are my hero

  • Are you kidding me? Nobody is forcing anyone to buy a ton of makeup, clothes etc. If you buy quality bras/clothes then you won't have to buy more all the time. Rewearing clothes is one of the most normal things a person can do. I've literally never heard anyone calling someone out for wearing the same shirt twice. And if they did, they would get so many weird looks and would be considered a douche for saying something like that. Plus, if you want to stop this (nonexistent) stigma regarding wearing clothes more than once or twice, THEN STOP SUPPORTING IT. I. e. do whatever the fuck you want and stop caring about what other people think about your clothes. That's on you and you alone.
    And if you don't want to waste money on pads and tampons, get yourself a menstrual cup. Appointments to the gynecologist falls under any other medical treatment. Should we pay for the guy's dinner because he goes to the dentist? No. Everyone who's responsible enough pays for birth control. Guys usually pay for the condoms and girls for the pills. I've even heard of people within relationships who split the bill when it comes to birth control pills, especially if they don't use condoms.
    Also, nothing says that dates should be expensive, or even cost anything at all. You could literally go out on a walk and get a 2 dollar ice cream if you want. If you can't even pay for a 2 dollar ice cream because you've already spent it all on bras, makeup and tampons, then maybe you should rethink your priorities when it comes to spending money.

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    • "Should we pay for the guy's dinner because he goes to the dentist? No." No because girls also go to dentists

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    • Not at all.

    • I'm starting to wonder if that age range on the myTake owner is right, and I'm not trying to be an ass. The take is so naive and one dimensional that it's hysterical. I'm fine with people saying guys should pay for dates (tho I believe who ever initiated the date should pay, of course society dictates this be guys too), as a society, we need standards/norms. But the reasons given are so ridiculous I'm just done. And as expected, she went ahead to attack the dentist comment.
      As a side note, I'm actually glad the girls are the ones calling her out more.

  • Saying it's equality for men to pay for dates, is a really sexist statement.

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    • Exactly , if ANY man stated " women belong in the kitchen " there would be calls for his public execution !! This train of thought , still VERY prevalent among women , simply puts guys off dating !!

    • @FatherJack They could say that if they are making a joke and the people he's telling it too know he's joking. I make that kind of joke all the time with my boyfriend and it's no big deal.

    • Haha! yup, that's the key!

      I've been known to use the argument with a few ex-SOs that they have a good point, but shouldn't they "be in the kitchen banging around on some pots and pans" or something! LOL! Of course, I never meant it! So crucial is that understanding of one another or else all else is just blah, and just "get out!" please! ahaha!

  • This is ridiculous. How much you choose to spend on beauty products and clothes is 100% your decision.

    I am a firm believer in taking turns taking each other out on dates.

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    • What about menstrual products, gyno appts, papsmears, bras etc

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    • How about the one who invites pay, that's sounds fair to me. If someone asks me out, why should I pay, and if I ask a girls out, why should she have any expenses then.

      The one who invites have to pay, that's the rule. Naturally since men usual ask the girl out, then men pays, but both genders have it's strengths and weakness in social and romantic affairs.

    • @smølf that's generally my rule of thumb for first dates but after that I take turns.

  • I don't agree with this whatsoever. Having a penis doesn't mean you need to foot the bill, to expect that because someone's gender IS sexist. It's no different than a man expecting a woman to do all of the cooking.

    If men were meant to pay for days then penises would shoot money. Women who want equality need to take it in its raw form, not the way that benefits them the most. Seriously.

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    • thank you..

      This is what a real feminist looks like

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    • If we completely get rid of all gender roles it won't be equal; it'll end up with women getting the shitty end of the stick bc we already have more expenses to pay

    • Why doesn't MY penis shoot money? I feel cheated !! Nicely put !!

  • I don't know. Like, I work hard to earn the money that I do and I have no problem spending it on things I need. I have no problem paying for myself for things, either.

    I'm self-sufficient and I can't imagine being any other way in life. It makes me uncomfortable to ask or expect someone to pay my way for things, especially just because that person may have a dick in their pants.

    I earned the money, if I want to have fun and enjoy myself then I will spend the money I earned knowing full well the repercussions it'll have on my bank account.

    That is the adult decision I make when I decide if I want to go out.

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  • I don't know about all that! But ideal It would be nice if he paid for it. Thats how my daddy taught me! Realistic I don't like taking money from stranger because it makes me feel werid. I rather not eat than have to waste the little money I have. ):

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  • You each pay for what you can afford. It isn't men or women. I pay when I can afford it but my boyfriend generally does because he has a full time job.

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  • Omg... I was just scrolling down and noticed everyone is arguing on this topic LOL in my opinion I think EVERYONE SHOULD JUST BUY THEIR OWN FREAKING FOOD!!! When you go out with your friends, the reason you pay is because your being nice!!! It's not like your forced to!! That's why guys pay because there being nice to the girl. Also once your married there's no difference cause the money comes out of the same bank account so...

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  • It seems pretty fair to me. Women have periods, women have pregnancy, women get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to sex, and men pay for our food on dates. Big whoop.

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    • Thank ypu!!! I got so much hate for this lol

    • No problem!
      As long as you are in the minority you will never be liked, but being in the majority means you'll just think like everyone else, don't worry about what everyone else says lol

  • Women do not earn less than men, not in developed countries like the USA at least. You have outdated information. Menstrual products are sometimes provided for free at some workplaces. Women don't have to wear a bra, if it is winter, and the coat properly covers the nipples. But they can just wear hand-me-downs or one customized bra for themselves. Fashion-conscious women love to shop for clothing. That is a hobby, not a necessity. Honestly, I can just make do with a set of shirts and pants and a couple of modest formal wear from a thrift store.

    Sorry, but I don't buy these arguments. And this comes from a woman. Granted, I have modest and cheap accommodations, so I have a lot of "feminine products" out of my life. I also don't wear makeup. I like the way I look naturally.

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  • I have paid often my share and it all depends really, generally, whoever makes more should pay more.

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  • equality or not I would never date a man who don't paid for every date

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    • 2mo

      You are a gold digger. Are you saying no matter who asked who on the date or where you go or what you do the guy has to pay or he is not good enough? If you are then it is bullshit. It would mean you are just with him for the money

    • 2mo

      @funny_strange_man

    • 2mo

      @funny_strange_man No this means he's a gentleman and that he care about me enough to spend his "precious money" on me. Not like a lot of guys will do that nowadays. It's for that Asian guys ( Chinese especially) make better boyfriend.

  • I think the man should pay for the first date but after that it could be a shared approach. NOT splitting the bill but I'll get this one you get the next. But often times in Relationships each person shows they love the other in different ways. I do my guys laundry, cook or bring him meals when we aren't hanging out just to help make his life better and to show my appreciation for him. because I love and want to help him. I think many guys don't have a lot of ways to show their appreciation other than to pay for things. As you said, in many cases the guy earns more. if there are resentments on one side or he other, they should be discussed.

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  • My friend and I are legit doing this right now

    media2.giphy.com/media/TNYy8aY7yateU/giphy.gif

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  • men should not pay for dates. that just makes women indebted. all the reasons you mentioned, are things that should be rejected on their own, men paying is not a compensation but a trap.

    gynecological vids are paid for in most countries. its backwards that medical care is not a right as a citizen in civl society, as you need health to have good workers and flourishing economy.

    as far as wearing the same thing, there's no law against it. if a guy would rather pay for you than have you re wear clothing he's choosing to control you with money and judgement. thats not a good candidate.

    women products cit more as long as women accept this,. women make less as long as women accept this.

    if men paying for dates creates the illusion things are 'equal' than it is detrimental, and in my opinion people should just go on very cheap dates so no one is sacrificing money and the content of the date is getting acquainted, not being purchased... if you really like a person money isn't necessary. people use money to compensate for lack of chemistry.

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    • menstrual products tho

  • bcoz men who likes to feel like man, will pay, just to feel they r dominant and real man and to show girl, that he really likes her...
    I never ask men to pay for me, i can pay 4 myself , no problem... but never payed. Guys always payed without any word

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  • Wow just wow this one of the worst takes I have read.
    Your reasoning is all tilted.
    I make as much or more then any guy in the company I work for.
    Gyno app. & birth control covered by medicare.
    Feminine products are cheap, I use very little in the way of makeup.
    As for clothes some guys pay out big $ for their wardrobe to.

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