Definition: Buy your own shit. Suggests that an individual is obligated to pay for whatever it is they desire.
TGIF G@G community, I hope you’re all rockin’ and ready to be a-rollin’ into this weekend, I know I am, but not before a few words.
I saw a frankly sickening take some time ago arguing that men paying for dates is “gender equality”, because women have to pay for the likes of pads and makeup. Hilarious, I know, because technically speaking these purchases are not obligations. You could just be ugly and bleed on a rag.
Relax – I’m just kidding, don’t take me too seriously. I’ve gotten sassy over the years.
Jokes aside this is an important subject that I would love to touch on, because I was actually beautifully surprised at the amount of women who shared a similar opinion as me: expecting a man to pay for your food because he is male is in fact sexist.
Now let me elaborate on this really quickly, it won’t be too long, as I have done a similar take before, I just wanted to update my previous train of thought.
The reason I believe it is sexist to say a man has to pay for the dates is because there is ZERO logic behind it; yes, there is the argument of how women statistically earn less money than men, but it doesn’t entirely add up. So, given that logic, if a woman makes more money than a man annually, SHE should in fact have to pay then, right? Because if it’s based on income, it wouldn’t be equal or fair to say otherwise, so that theory suggests not that men should really be paying for dates, but that the higher paid party should. But wait, no, because men still statistically make more so we want em’ to pay up now. Okay … is that HIS fault? Or is that just the fucked up society we live in? What if he wants women to get equal pay, does he still have to be punished for something out of his control?
I think not.
With that argument aside, there is no other logical reason to say a man should have to pay for a date, and no, the fact that you have to buy tampons and choose to buy makeup, high heels, and get your hair done doesn’t earn you a steak sweetheart. It doesn’t work that way.
The reason people say it is simply because THEY ARE MEN AND MEN SHOULD PAY FOR DATES! Why? Because of gender-expectation of course! But wait … we don’t like it when men expect us to be subservient stay at home wives who obsessively try to control our physical appearance, and those are both gender expectations … this seems hypocritical….
Ding, ding, ding! That’s because IT IS!!
Equality, for those of us who really want it, expect it to be taken in its raw form, it is what it is; you don’t get to pick and choose the benefits of being completely equal to men and then leave out the parts of it you don’t want because it means you don’t get free shit anymore.
Until penises shoot out money men should never be expected or feel obligated to buy a woman a meal, or show tickets, whatever the case may be. ~ RJ 2016
If you want men to pay for your food all of the time and plan on belittling their masculinity if they don’t, you can’t get mad if they turn around and say: “Well as a woman I want you to do x, y, and z then, since we’re going with traditional views here after all.”
Because it’s the same shit.
NOW! Before I lose all of the women here, let me say this: there is NOTHING wrong with men paying for your meal if he OFFERS and WANTS TO. Especially if he is the one who states he wants to take you out to dinner. I only ask that you don’t throw a fit every time a guy asks you to pay your half, its common courtesy for you to have your wallet ready and at least offer to pay. Half of the time you know the man will pay for you anyways, just don’t be spoiled about it and start getting snooty if he doesn’t.
If you’re both traditional folks to the T, no ish Tish, the issue I take with it is when an unfair gender biased is forcibly pushed onto somebody with no logical reason to back it up. As women who have had to fight for our equal rights for as long as we have, we more than anybody should understand how unfair it is to say “Your gender dictates what your actions should be, or you are assumed less than.”
No man, woman, or in between should have to face that. Because that just isn't fair.
I’m not saying that if you are the kind of person who is into dudes that pay for your food that you’re a bad person, even if I don’t agree with you. What I don’t like is the type of women who put down non-traditional men for not paying; going to the extent of belittling their masculinity by stating “a real man pays for their food.” I have been unfortunate enough to actually witness this first hand.
You have NO RIGHT to complain. Can it turn you off? Fine. Can you only date dudes who pay for everything for you? Of course! Just don’t turn around and throw a temper tantrum over the fact that times are changing and people are no longer locked in this dated way of thinking. So don’t sit there and say “I’m a feminist but I expect my man to pay for the dates and buy me stuff!”
Bite me, princess. You found the cash to buy that $120.00 purse, I’m sure you can find the cash to buy some sushi and a few drinks. Get over yourself.
Okay, I know I sound a bit ticked and bitter but let me just say that there are fewer and fewer women like the person I described. In fact, a lot of women now get that they are not entitled to stuff, and don’t have these expectations, so I don’t want anybody to jump in the comments and start taking a dump on all women calling them materialistic whores. Because that isn’t true; it’s just a rare breed of princess-complex girls without any perspective.
Alright, that was my rant for the week. Hopefully you all got where I was coming from. I don’t doubt that I will tick off a few people but hey, it happens. I hope you all have a great weekend and as always, I look forward to your feedback.