Understanding Dating 'Out of Your League'

kaylaS91

Unless you’re brand-new to GaG or really, the internet as a whole, you’ve surely seen some variation of someone being told that they ‘can do better’ in respect to who they’re interested in. That they’re more attractive than who they have their eye on, therefore they should reevaluate their decision and go for someone more in their league.



Understanding Dating 'Out of Your League'


Sounds ridiculous, right? I was just browsing the front page of reddit this morning, and saw a question asking ‘Average-looking men: How would you feel about dating an average-looking woman?’. Which makes it sound that in society’s striving for equality and inclusiveness of people of all ages, orientations, colours, genders, etc., we’ve broken ourselves down into yet another category.


We are now in ‘leagues’. So I guess less attractive people to the left, all the dimes to the right?



A ludicrous idea, for a few reasons:


- Beauty is subjective.


Not every girl finds a guy with washboard abs or a chiseled jawline to be the most desirable. Nor does every guy find girls rocking double-D’s or an ass reminiscent of Nicki Minaj’s to be the bees knees.


- Not everybody decides who they’ll be in a relationship with based off of looks alone.


I mean… I can’t imagine someone having a fight with their girlfriend or a huge incompatibility in respect to their lifestyles, then willing to completely lay down their pride and accept such issues because ‘she’s got big titties, though, so I guess I’ll let her bunk up with a different guy every other night.’


- The clique/profession to which someone belongs plays a big role in their attractiveness to both genders.


I bet that, purely physically speaking, some of the not so popular girls are actually quite pretty. ‘Diamonds in the rough’, especially in comparison to those who’ve worked their way up to the top of the food chain with the help of good dick-sucking skills, being a major sweet-talker, or even investing in top of the line paint-rollers.



By seeing someone else as in a certain ‘league’, this would imply that society has a set of universally recognized standards.



Though the media may play a large rule in influencing what society views as ‘beautiful’ and not so attractive, even those terms of attractiveness are not set in stone.



For example, you might look at a chick who’s super fit and think that she’s not only really hot, but it’s also admirable that someone would put in that much time and effort to get their body and health to such a level. The person next to you, though, may be completely turned off. One of those who think that it’s ‘disgusting’ for a woman to be so toned and athletic. That a female leading such a lifestyle is simply ‘not feminine enough’.




Understanding Dating 'Out of Your League'


In any case, the bottom line here is that what you find as making someone out of your league, another will find to be below theirs. None of which is true because there’s no such thing as ‘leagues’ in the first place. It’s simply a matter of having your own taste.



...Unless your counter-argument is that the average female expects too much from a man. That her standards are 'too high', therefore she's evil. True or not, where does that leave you?


In exactly the same place- still alone.



The mold you fit as a person is something shaped by the environment in which you’re raised, as well as your own decisions in large-part so rather than playing the learned-helplessness card. Nothing stops you from working towards becoming your ideal self.



While you can't directly change the standards someone may have and only hope to become more appealing in their eyes, what's stopping you from working towards that? Are your arms bound behind your back, forbidding you from hitting the gym on a regular basis, for example?




Is there something other than your own insecurities or laziness preventing you from pursuing passions and hobbies of your own? Don't get me wrong, physical appearance is important in terms of who we develop interest in but that'd be a pretty boring date if this Adonis has no interesting information to tell me about himself.



You are not assigned as belonging to a certain league at birth. It's not like shortly after birth, the doctor will mark us as a 10, 5, etc. on our birth certificate. Which is common knowledge but if you disagree..


Congratulations on sealing your own fate.



Understanding Dating 'Out of Your League'


To sum things up-



Leagues are standards. Standards are subjective. Therefore, leagues are subjective.



So next time you hear “he/she is out of my league”, just dismiss it as another way of someone mind-fucking themselves into backing out of a possible rejection.

Understanding Dating 'Out of Your League'
21 Opinion