8 Ways You Ladies Can Make Dating Easier On Guys

1. CUT OUT THE CREEP SHAMING

It's bad enough having to do nearly all of the approaching and having that anxiety of facing a humiliating rejection, but many women take it a step further to slander a man's character rather than admitting they rejected him for superficial reasons. 2 men can approach a girl with the same lines, and body language and many girls will label the guy who they did not find physically attractive/displaying low social status as a creep while a man who is better looking/higher status would be considered charming, bold and confident.

You girls also have to understand a less attractive guy would be less confident and smooth as a good looking guy. Why do you ask ? Well logically the good looking guy would have had more often favorable outcomes from approaching women and therefore feel more confident when he approaches. A less attractive man would have had more unfavorable outcomes some of which were complete train wrecks.

So just take that into consideration when you see a guy whose not total hotty fumbling with his words when talking to you. He may just be nervous because things have gone to shit for him in the past and he's nervous of screwing up again.


And this isn't a threat but a warning about how you reject a guy. Please do not be a bitch about it if the guy hasn't warrant it. Male suicide is waaaay higher than females in our society and you could be the catalyst to encourage this guy to put a bullet in his head by being a bitch towards him when it wasn't warranted.

2. MAKE IT OBVIOUS TO US YOU ARE INTERESTED IN US

They say relationships is all about a power balance but in our current atmosphere today women don't want to relinquish some of their power and show vulnerability. Majority of girls still don't approach and tend use subtle body language like flirting, playing with their hair, batting your eyes, biting your lips to show your interested.

How women can make dating easier for men

Some guys are just not good at picking this up and may only realize and pick up the cues well after you've parted ways. So if your showing all the signs and the guy isn't biting it's not that he isn't interested in you it could very well be he just hasn't picked up on it. Also you have to realize a lot of guys encounter a lot of girls who like attention. They show all the signs but the moment the guy goes in for the kill and show their interest they hit him with "I have a boyfriend". Sorry but "I'm not interested". You guys have to realize guys don't just encounter girls who are interested in them but a lot of attention whores who just want to know they can get you.

So if a guy isn't getting it be more direct rather than get frustrated/discourage and give up on him.

3. START ACTIVELY CALLING US AND BEING VULNERABLE/OPENING UP BEFORE SEX

This goes back to vulnerability and opening yourself up in 2. Many girls have fragile egos and can't handle rejection which is why the majority of them don't approach. The only time women actively open up and start chasing back seems to be after they given the guy sex.

Women think that men should come to them rather than the other way around and don't like to relinquish that power until after sex. Relationship is a power struggle.

In dating it seems to follow like this:

Women hold the power and the man needs to prove his worth before she gives him sex.

After sex has happened the power tends to balance out between the genders.

The only time the power is in the men's court at the start is when he waaaaaayyy above a woman in looks, status and money.

4. START BEING THE ENTERTAINERS/PLANNERS TOO

Too many of you girls just sit back and put all the pressure on men to plan out the dates, lead the conversation and be the entertainers every time you go and hang out.

You have to start taking a more active rather than passive approach to dating because always having to be the energetic,fun, interesting guy can be very wary on a man. Sometimes guys would like to just sit back and relax. Start taking a more active approach to show you care rather than expect men to do everything.

So many of you girls say you lose interest in a guy because he was boring but you yourself put no effort to spice up the relationship.


5. STAY TRUE TO YOUR WORD

If you agree to go out with us at least stick to your word and don't just flake on us at the last moment. Too many girls have so many options they often treat men as bidders. The guy who you agreed to have a date with may have had the most enticing offer up to last minute but another guy just came and gave you a even better deal so you drop his ass immediately without any consideration on time/effort he put into it.

Just realize by doing this you not only make yourself look like a cheap whore who basically goes to the guy with the best offer but you disrespect the man you made a promise too and show that you can't be relied on to keep your word.

6. START APPROACHING

It's funny that the gender that has the highest success rate of being asked out by the other is the most scared to approach. You girls have been liberated by feminism to be strong and independent so why not show it by going out and getting what you want. You see a guy you like instead of just sitting in the corner and hopping he picks up on your subtle cues go approach him.


7. STOP THE STUPID TEXTING GAMES

Stop these stupid games where you are hot one moment then totally cold the next, or if a guy takes long to respond to your text you would take an even longer time just so you don't appear eager. It is ok to open up and be the one whose more interested. Stop trying to hold onto power and be chase in the courting phase.


8. FEEDBACK ON DATING

Sometimes some guys are just total clueless on what they do wrong. It would be appreciated if you at least give us feedback on what went wrong so we can improve upon it for the next girl rather than be total clueless and have to figure it out ourselves.


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What Girls Said 9

  • Creep shaming, maybe this is an American thing or something? My friends and I literally only call a guy creepy if he's seriously just being creepy. Like not leaving us alone, following us around at the bar, staring at us as if he wants to kill us etc. Touching us without our consent. Stuff like that. I don't know.

    Just like there are shy guys out there who fumble with their words while approaching a girl, there are girls out there who are too shy to make any bold moves on a guy in order to really show her interest. So to ask a girl to be less subtle with her hints is like asking a guy to not fumble with his words when he approaches a girl. It's not really going to work, is it? You can't really force shy people to be less shy.

    As for points 3, 4, 5 and 7, girls who behave that way are immature and not even ready for a relationship. Girls who do that won't magically change because you tell them to. They'll stop doing that when they grow up and realize that playing games and hiding your feelings is unhealthy in a relationship.

    Point 6, a lot of women live by the "supply and demand" rule. I think it's stupid to just sit back and expect everything to work itself out, so I always encourage women to approach too. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. I live in a country where everyone is pretty private and introverted, so I've taught myself to be more proactive. Guys here don't really approach girls like they seem to be doing in the US. They prefer to find girls through mutual friends, possibly at parties. Most guys who actually approach strangers are considered abnormal... or they're just shitfaced lol.

    Anyway. My main point is simply that you can't change immature girls and you can't stop them from playing games. You're better off finding girls who don't even do that stuff right off the bat. Not only will that be more rewarding in the long run, but you're basically also showing the hard-to-get girls that what they're doing isn't working. The more attention you give these girls and the more you try to change them, the more they'll think that this technique is working and they won't feel like changing it anytime soon.

    As for feedback, you'll have to ask for it. It's not really normal to give someone you've rejected an evaluation, as if they're doing an assignment for school or something. And even if you do ask her for feedback, you can't always expect to get a good and thorough answer. It's not always about execution and you doing or saying the wrong thing.

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    • Sometime the girl just doesn't feel it with you, like you don't click and she's simply not interested. Then it wouldn't matter if you had said or done something differently because she's simply not attracted to you regardless.

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    • Wow, this is a long convo. Some interesting stuff in there though. I don't think, bubbleboy, that the touching thing is necessarily a double standard. If I am being completely honest, if a random girl that is a stranger touches me, and she is unattractive, and I have given no indication I am flirting, then I would be a little weirded out. But if an attractive girl whom I was flirting with did it, then I'd be more receptive. That's just reality for everyone. I wrote a mytake a few days ago about doing my homework in a bar (I'm a PhD student) and how women often approached me, but were usually drunk off their asses. Anyway, if they says something interesting, even if not attractive, and flirt with me before making some sort of "friendly" touch on my hand or make some excuse to grab my arm, I'm not that offended. But if one of them did that from the get go, if be creeped out. I'm sure it's the same for women. I typically touch someone I'm flirting with, almost subconsciously...

    • But only after it feels comfortable. I don't remember a girl being offended or showing a bad reaction to it at that point. And if say I'm above average, but there's certainly better looking guys in the bar. Plus I'm super skinny, and a lot of the guys in the bar are muscled up Channing Tatum looking dudes. So I really do think it's more about confidence, which is another way of saying " I really don't give a shit"

  • I agree!
    Although number 2 is vague. How would we make it clear if we can't just say we're interested? When I say to a guy I'm interested he runs scared... So saying 'Hi, I think you're cute, would you like to go out sometime?' isn't working because he's more scared than anything else.

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    • Sorry but I don't encounter that in real life. Guy are all too willing in real life to accept any form of affection women are offering.

      You girls have a much higher success rate to get love/success if you just come out and say it rather than being indirect.

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    • @MoreThanFriends says the 17 yr old trying to score browny points with females.

    • browny points on a dating site? sure, sounds legit

  • I wish guys were as bitchy as these girls when rejecting. Every time I approach a guy and he rejects me, they always do it so freaking nicely and with a style - assuring me that there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with me and that I'm gorges but they just "whatever". But of course he will give a number, you know, just in case. If he was a total dick while rejecting me, it would make it easier forgetting about him the moment I go back to my seat. I'd just think "wow what a dick, I'm so glad he rejected me!".
    It sad but true, rejection is a pain in the ass no matter how you put it. Not because we didn't win someone, but because our self-worth got put down and we automatically think that we're not good enough. So if when someone who I approached is being rude to me, ironically, it won't hurt me that he rejected and I absolutely wouldn't think that I am not good enough, I'd be glad I dodged the bullet.
    That said, I think sugar-coating when rejecting makes things even worst. Just say you're not interested and don't try to charm me even more if you don't want me.

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  • I understand that men who may have good intentions have trouble when approaching a girl, but try to see it from our perspective as well. A strange man we've never seen before walks up to us in a bar. We can't read his mind and see what he's thinking; it is my first instinct to be wary of a man who approaches me. Men with good and bad intentions sometimes act the same way- I don't know whether you're here because you genuinely thought I was interesting and wanted to talk to me, or whether you're here to drug me and rape me. However, I do see your point, but next time you get frustrated at a girl who seems to be wary of you try and see it from her point of view.

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  • You slipped into bitterness at point five but otherwise good.

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    • That bitterness is justified.
      Of all the girls I've ever approached, all but one rejected me, and all but three of the rejections were preceded by dishonest acceptance. The three honest rejections received my gratitude. I literally thanked them for their honesty. (Okay, one of them I knew was giving a bullshit excuse, but the fact that she at least had the decency to say no was what I appreciated.)
      However, all the other times I got a "yes", followed by them changing their mind. Sometimes something came up. Others, they suddenly had a boyfriend that they didn't have when I asked. Over time, each time the bubble of false hope burst, it became more and more depressing. It's been nearly two years since I last asked a girl out. The previous attempt was about five years before that. (One of the three honest ones, actually.) I've pretty much given up on any sort of connection. The misery of solitude is nothing to the pain of false hope.

  • Im only gonna address point 1 otherwise this will become too long.

    Women "shame" creeps, men "shame" ugly chicks, fat girls, fat chested, flat assed etc girls, it's a two way thing. If a woman is not physically attracted to a man, why is she supposed to still accept his advances? Everyone, both male and female, has the absolute right to reject anyone for any given reason. The first video is obviously exaggerated, but don't act like a man wouldn't do the exact same thing; reject a nice girl he in no way found attractive and go home with an extremely hot girl who expressed major personality flaws. This is not a gender issue, it's a human issue.
    Women aren't "assholes" for rejecting men they aren't interested in, that's just how it is.
    As for the second video, by far most women are not like that. Plus women are approached more often so they're more used to rejecting someone, where it's more new territory for men so they're gonna act more surprised and insecure.

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    • You're confusing rejection and shaming. They aren't the same at all. I don't think anyone denies a person's right to reject someone. But a person who rejects someone without maintaining a civil tongue is wrong.

      And I agree that second video doesn't match my experience at all.

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    • @Bluemax Because all men are nicer when rejecting a girl they don't find physically attractive? It should not only be women who are made out the be assholes for creep shaming men, when men too humiliate and belittle unattractive women who made a move on them.

    • "Because all men are nicer when rejecting a girl they don't find physically attractive?"

      No, they certainly aren't. I'm equally opposed to that. If you look in my reply, you'll read that I said PEOPLE (men and women alike) should remain polite and civil when rejecting someone.

      I believe you and I are more or less on the same page. I believe where we differ is that initially you thought that the asker believed rejecting someone by virtue of his/her looks is creep shaming. I don't believe that's what the asker, nor most people, believe. I think we all agree that you should reject someone you aren't attracted to. I also think we should do it politely and decisively.

  • What if you re shy and awkward during the date cs you like the guy? 😅😅

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  • Approaching is hard for everyone, some do it easily for others is harder. Many woemn sure approach guys but then guys can be hard on u too isnot just a woman thing. Sometimes you do the approaching and the guy could take that as u are too eager, coming too strong and desesperate and that is a turn off for them so the ladys choice is to take things slower but then others may tell the lady, if you take too long, another girl who is quicker in reacting , could take the guy away. But then how can you know if you are taking too long to approach or when you dont have to come as desesperate and act quickly.

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    • the take isn't just about women not approaching guys, it's about all the other b. s. they do to make it hard for guys to approach THEM, even when they are interested in said guy.

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    • Those arnt real men, those are jerks.

    • @Paul09 Who are the jerks

  • Commending n it approach because they ahem fragile egos. Some don't approach bc they don't think it's appropriate others nd guys claim they are not into it's who approach. Many a women do approach and guys can be pretty brutal. Approaching is hard for everyone's everyone should be more respectful about it.

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    • you know, the thing about women approaching men was about one point out of eight in the take owner's thread. far from the only piece of advice in the take and a lot of the stuff he mentions it is true that women do this - even to guys they are interested in.

What Guys Said 25

  • I'm all for #4. I can't stand it when a woman doesn't take an initiative in regards to relationship events, so-to-speak. I shouldn't be responsible for always coming up with the weekend itinerary and when I ask you what you want to do, do NOT just say, "Oh, I don't care. Whatever you want to do." If I wanted to date a drone, I would; speak up! :)

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  • definitely agree with this

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    • I would have just phrased it as, 'what to do if you are interested in the guy', because obviously a woman is not going to make dating easier for a guy she is not interested in. but sometimes a woman is interested in a guy but does all of this bullshit anyway.

  • Your 4th point is one that really resonates with me. When dates are supposed to be about mutual joy and getting to know each other, it is hard for the male party to unwind and enjoy himself when he constantly has to be the one keeping the conversation alive and/or planning everything. Dating honestly becomes more of a chore where energy is expended opposed to a joyous occasion where two people get to know each other. PLEASE, women, PLEASE start planning the dates more and being the entertainers.

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    • Same here.

      My ex used to leave EVERYTHING up to me, even when in her home town!

      Ladies, please, make some plans occasionally.

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    • @kitty71 Yes, exactly. :)

    • I would say if a woman purposely doesn't talk much during a date, you should not talk as much either and just drop the girl. Why would you want a girl anyway who is only in the date to test you and not to have fun?
      You can even test her aswell, she needs your approval aswell!

  • Now to wait until this starts happening en masse alongside pigs starting to fly.

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  • Stop subtle-hinting your way through life. We can't read minds and it's okay for you to be direct and ask for what you want. Really, it is. You're an adult.

    100% of the time: Assume we did not pick up on your subtle hints.

    It bears repeating: we can't minds. By being blunt and direct communication with us will improve.

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    • And that also extends to when you have to get them gifts for like their birthday, or Christmas and they drop hints throughout the year and you have to figure out what they want you to buy for them rather than just coming out and saying it.

  • Or maybe you can just man up and go after the girl you want?

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  • You forgot the part about incentive. They really don't have any incentive to do it. There are more younger guys than younger women (which is also the biggest pool of daters since the older people get the majority have found a partner). Why should they do any of this work when they can just sit around and wait for a relationship to fall in their lap? If one guy they like is too shy to approach no skin off their back they'll just have another guy coming after her after she moves on from liking him.

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  • Good advices for all the girls, I hope they will use them well, excellent Take.

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  • "Creep shaming" is a failure of men's approach. If a guy hovers around without talking, for example, that gets creepy fast. If he fails to take rejection and maintains pursuit after a woman has made it clear she's not interested, that is also creepy.

    If he approaches confidently, makes his pitch, is rebuffed, and slinks away: not creepy (right?). If a woman shows interest and he makes a pitch, not creepy (right?).

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    • Keep in mind that for men, it's a matter of fragile ego-shattering, but for women, it's sort of a matter of life and death. I know that seems extreme, but the first thing a woman will be concerned about with a man is her personal physical safety. So if a man is being weird, it's scary. It is one reason confidence is sexy.

  • I agree 100% even more so with the girl expectung guy's to do all the talkint and all the planing... its annoying

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  • I dream of a girl asking me out. It should go both ways. Not always the guy asking. And sometimes 2 dates is where it can click.

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  • This would be too much for them.

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  • Personally #8 is the only one I care about when it comes to dating.

    I find the rest simply act as filters to weed the people you don't want to date in the first place- excluding #2 which is just people skills / self-improvement.

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  • Well mine take... I think approaching is hard for both the genders...
    Both are afraid of rejection.. And both the thrm play mind games which changes the whole point of dating and this dating is now shitty..

    Prople are more comfortable dating online and talking online because it's easy and nobody is goona judge you... online so that's why

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  • Good take , but will not happen in reality , women expect a man to lead , so no's 4 & 6 will rarely happen. No 1 , I think is due to very heavy " media " influence , women are influenced by the " media " to view men as stupid , sex crazed morons , it is very fashionable to bash men. Agree with @mystintri , women are in demand in the dating game , men are not. Women EXPECT men to " figure it out ourselves " , to a woman , it will show the man has initiative , a man has to put solid work into making himself attractive , he has to bring far more to the table than a woman to even be accepted for a date , c'est la vie !!

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  • Look... I understand that guys have feelings too, this is an era where it's 'okay' to just be a fluffy-feely guy. That being said, it doesn't excuse the fact that in this life - you can't get something for nothing.

    Also, how much money would I be able to sell at the beach? How many umbrellas would I sell in LA? How many baby bottles filled with milk would I sell at a bar?

    If something is not in demand, it's not in demand. No one needs to explain to anyone why it's not in demand... as the person selling it, it's up to you to figure out how to be in demand.

    "It would be appreciated if you at least give us feedback on what went wrong so we can improve upon it for the next girl rather than be total clueless and have to figure it out ourselves."

    It would be appreciated, but it's not going to happen, hence, you need to figure it out.

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  • A very interesting take indeed. However, I'd posit that your implicit thesis (apologies if I'm reading too much in to your title) that the ladies should WANT to make dating easier on guys is flawed. In fact, the whole point they do the things you listed is so that dating them ISN'T easy for guys. And the reason that's a good strategy is they need a way to sort out who's a "winner" and who's a "loser" so they end up with the former and not the latter. They want to make dating hard enough that the losers don't end up with them but not so hard that they discourage a good guy. But remember, there are LOTS of good guys, so it's not the end of the world if they discourage a few, BUT ending up with a loser is a MAJOR problem for them.

    Just take a look at some of what you wrote. You referenced some guys being so unstable that a harsh rejection makes them depressed and suicidal! That's EXACTLY the kind of nut bag women desparately want to avoid ending up with in a relationship! Hence all the behaviors listed in your take to keep that from happening.

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    • @MoreThanFriends Very good point

    • @lilac_flowers Thanks Lilac!

  • Great my take
    Sadly they don't teach subtle hints in school so unless the guy has had a lot of experience your going to have to at least verbally say something to let us know your interested.

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  • I'm glad I'm not single right now. I can relate to some of this crap above. I have had many women be disrespectful and throw out the "creep" label for no fault of my own besides the way they "feel" about me. They have gotten away with it for years. Popular media and hollywood LOVES shaming awkward guys. We also feminist rants about the sexist word "slut". However I think this is starting to make a turn around. Yes there a guys that completely deserve the "creep" label... but most guys don't.

    With that said having a new girlfriend gives me "I don't give a shit" feeling when I'm around other women... even beautiful women. And lo and behold... some of them are showing me attention even though I'm not looking for it. I'm not a cheater... so I don't give. However isn't it ironic how everything falls into place.

    I'm finding that being honest, chill and carefree is a huge aphrodisiac for women. Just TALK to them and be yourself. Being yourself is does not mean unloading insecurities. Just be your BEST self. Treat the girl as if she is a bratty little sister. You could care less what she thinks of you but you also wouldn't abuse her. That's the best attitude in my opinion.

    Also being in my early 30s I less often feel the impulse to wanna bang anything with ass & tits (admittedly I still have my moments). In fact my girlfriend is very young (21), her sex drive is higher than mine... but I do my best to satisfy it.

    Just try not caring... that includes not caring about what MEN say about you. As men we got to stop pressuring and competing with other guys about who gets the most and/or finest ass. They are not going to write on your tombstone "Here lies so and so... he was a manwhore... missed and loved by all".

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  • Yeah... women will never do any of this sh*t. They want equality, but they want men to do everything in the dating world.

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