"Does He Like Me?" The Definitive Answer Guide

What you need to ask yourself, and what you need to ask THEM, to answer the timeless question "So...do they like me?"

Is it just me, or is at least one out of every five questions on here "Does he/she like me/are they interested in me?"

It always boggles me that people are asking compete strangers to answer this, when the person they need to ask, is most likely not on this website. (The person they're actually asking about).

Let's just acknowledge that most people who ask this question are looking for responses that support THEIR personal view about whether the person does or doesn't like them.

So, putting that aside, and taking a more objective view, how can we answer this question?

A few simple steps to help you gain perspective, look at the situation in a rational way, and take action that will actually be productive when trying to answer this question.

Before we can answer the BIG question - Do they like me/are they interested in me? You really do need to ask a few other questions first.

1. Do YOU like them/are YOU interested in them?

ANSWER - Yes. Move to next question.

ANSWER - No. Don't over-analyze something that won't produce valuable or helpful information to your current situation. If you don't like them, what use is it to know how they feel (in this situation)? None, the answer is none.

2. Would you classify your interactions with this person as positive, negative, or nonexistent?

ANSWER - Positive. Would you be confident in saying that the other person also feels your interactions are positive? Yes? Move to next question.

ANSWER - Negative. Would you say the interactions are negative because of how YOU behave, or because of how the OTHER person behaves (i.e. how they speak, their body language, purpose for interaction). Move to next question.

ANSWER - Non-existent. Ah, pretty sure if you have no interactions, they have no opinion of you, and it's very doubtful that they like you.

At this point it's important to try to clarify if your interactions with them are positive or negative due to how YOU treat them, or how THEY treat you. If you feel your interactions are negative because of how they treat you, it's safe to assume that they don't like you. If you're in denial and refuse to accept that, simply ask them, and see if your dreams come true :D

If you're having positive interactions, you should try to put them in two distinct groups:

3. Could that just be friendly?

I'm talking about - staring, smiling, laughing, sitting next to, touching only briefly, complimenting. These are all gestures that may simply express a friendly nature.

4. Is that clearly a more-than-friends interaction?

I'm talking about - trying to be near you, invading personal space, touching you for prolonged periods of time, using language that is inclusive such as "we should" or "both of us", using sexual language that is suggestive and flirtatious, and obviously - if they TELL you they like you.

So, assuming you haven't asked them, and they haven't told you. Here are your options.

A) If you have mostly positive interactions, and those interactions seem more-than-friendly, you can either ask them directly (for those with some level of maturity),

B) or you can wait around doodling their name and see if they eventually take action that helps clarify this question, for example, if they ask you out, that answers the question about whether they like you/are interested.

Secret option C) You communicate telepathically while neither of you actually tells the other person how you feel, and then go on IMAGINARY dates as you fulfill all manner of hypothetical fantasies! Yay!

Bonus option D) Skip all this over-analysis and just go ask them how they feel about you, and do they want to go out some time?

SPOILER ALERT: Rejection is not that bad. We don't all have to like the same people who like us, it doesn't mean you are a "poor quality" person, it just means the interest isn't reciprocated for some reason.


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What Guys Said 8

  • "It always boggles me that people are asking compete strangers to answer this, when the person they need to ask, is most likely not on this website. (The person they're actually asking about)."
    This is veri true ; p

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  • This is a common misconception, but "does he like you" does not imply "does he want to be in a relationship with you" which is what you ultimately want.

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  • If he's male, single, and you're remotely attractive, the VAST MAJORITY of the time he likes you. It's so likely that he likes you that you should just ask him out.

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    • (I think it should be implied but he also has to be a friend/acquaintance)

  • A lot of new pants will give the illusion of an erection when a man sits down. I think it's important for every woman to know that.

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  • I do none of these things when I like a girl.

    What a poor myTake.

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  • I agree with Mesmaeker , you totally should make a flow chart of this.

    upload.wikimedia.org/.../...-LampFlowchart.svg.png

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  • It is a nice my take but it is severely lacking in good information. It sounds more like something to please those kids constantly asking does he like me. For adults it is not really that helpful.

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    • Adults should be mature enough to take the plunge and ask out the person they are interested in rather than playing stupid mind games that teenagers do.

    • True but we're not.

    • @sparkly-crystal I don't know if it's "maturity" at least for me with this kind of thing but it's about having the courage and getting yourself to actually do it. It can be scary and nerve racking. That's the main thing and also reminding yourself that there's a risk of them saying no and knowing to move on if they say no. I say this while I admit that that's why I never ask

  • Nice. You should make a flow diagram of it! 😊

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What Girls Said 7

  • Hahaha LOVE this take! =)

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  • Great Take!!! The next time I see a question like this I will provide a link to your take.

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  • Love that last paragraph.

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  • Interesting! Thank you :)

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  • Like isn't a good question. A person can like a i. e. son and still not want a relationship.

    You have to decide if you want to date and ask them if they want to. If you ask do you like me and they say yes... What then. Stalemate. Or "Yes... But"

    So if you like someone just ask them out casually get to know each other alone and take it from there in my opinion. :)

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    • In the context it's in, obviously it means like more than a friend. But yeah, people should just ask.

  • Mmmm I'm not sure if it totally helped. I still don't completely know what to do and everything. Are you saying I should work up the courage to ask him how he feels about me? .. or are you telling me to wait and see what happens? Mmm I'm not used to this stuff and even just the thought of it is nerve racking. I never ask a guy out or ask him how he feels. I'm always the one who gets approached. And plus I shouldn't rush anything because I just want to be with who I'm supposed to marry and have kids with. I don't wanna do any other dating. I hate it

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    • If you aren't mature enough to approach someone and ask them, then a relationship isn't for you, let alone marriage or kids, which all require maturity and effort.

    • I don't know how maturity has to do with it. It's about the courage to ask. I could ask if I could make myself step up and go against any worries. Maturity is the wrong word for it because that simply has to do with behavior

    • It is about maturity to understand that you're just asking a question, and it's about maturity to learn how to handle it like an adult, no matter what the answer is.

  • HELPED BUT DIDN'T HELP

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