Guys Losing Interest After Sex: Ladies, Wanna Know Why? (Page 2)
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I believe if a guy leaves you after sex you just found out what this guy is really about and you dogged a bullet. Its funny how men can sleep with dozens of women and most women will look past it but for women its the opposite. So sad.
Im a virgin by choice. (I wanna make sure im in love, and am loved) my boyfriend isn't a virgin. I don't judge him based on the fact that he had sex with his EXs. We are sexual beings. Though I do belive we should be choosy of who we are sexual with, wether you had sex too early or not should not be the base of a relationship. If it is, then GOOD BYE!
My boyfriend and I arnt having sex till marraige but we have done some "dirty" things to keep us satisfied. We started being slightly intimate on our second month. We have been together for 8 months and counting. He hasent gone anywhere just because we were sexual earlier on unless me waiting for marraige is whats keeping him with me still... i doubt it tho.
Good to hear and great comment, I agree, need to have love in place. Good to see, you seem to be a rarity. I hope this works. Interesting solution to meet the needs!
"Its funny how men can sleep with dozens of women and most women will look past it but for women its the opposite"
There seems to possibly be a biological reason for this, though MUCH more research is needed to find causality, the more partners a woman has the less likely she is to find herself in a happy marriage. If her husband is her only partner she has an 80% chance, if she has had 1 other partner it drops to 50% and continues to drop with each new sexual partner until it reaches 6 partners with a 17% chance of finding a happy marriage. It gets even worse the younger the woman is when she starts having sex.
This trend is not seen in men.
@Jager66 I agree with you in concept, but is that science fact or guestimates. I'm having that debate below in the long thread with Soveriegnvampress and via a poll I just took on this issue.
I think there is something biological, but could be societal as well. My concern for these women you are "exploring their sexuality" is they are going down a narrow road to a cliff. I could be wrong, but I'd like to understand it better. Maybe men need to evolve? I know for me, if the girl has 30 BF's or fools around too much, my guard is up unless she can really explain it. I want to understand all this better...
Well the cause is unknown and needs much more research but it at least seems reasonable to assume a portion of it is biological. Also keep in mind it looks like about 1 in 5 women are very well suited to lots of sexual partners.
It is fact though, it's from government statistics.
@Jager66 If you know of the stats and it is public, please point me to them. No problem if not. I really want to get a handle on this...
this guy does a pretty good video on it, I don't agree with a lot of the stuff he says but he did do a good jojb with this video. His sources are listed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um3EmS9DKsI
another interesting thing some what related is that women with a higher hip to waist ratio are more likely to have more casual sex. Women with thin figures, feminine faces, bigger boobs are more likely to cheat via serial monogamy/hypergamy, has to do with Oestrogen or something... was just reading some research on this.
So there is clearly a biological link between sexual behavior, psychology and biology in women.
@Jager66 Great info, thank you! Especially the part about single parents with partners where the child abuse is much higher. Goes to show that the children are suffering when the parents are not committed. Divorce and crime correlate. It makes sense, I'm thinking Ozzy Osborne was correct... "were going off the rails on a crazy train...".
Okay devils advocate here. I have to ask why a woman would be less satisfied just because she’s had more partners? I personally find this very hard to believe!! I’ve had seven partners in my life and I fall very deeply in love once I’m with someone. I think it’s fair to say I seem to be good at navigating relationships and have never had any such problems beyond normal healthy conflict every once in a while. Which begs the question, maybe those that choose more casual sex have more of an avoidant attachment style etc, rather than being more unsatisfied because they’ve had more partners. Something about that just doesn’t sit right with me and I’ll happily bet future research will reflect my thoughts too. I mean someone who has tons of casual sex (male and female) is naturally going to appear less attractive generally because they give the impression they don’t want anything long term, but fearing someone having more than just one partner just seems like an insecure approach to the situation to be quite honest.
Thrill of the chase? Not for me
True, It might be that the thrill is gone, the reality wasn't as good as the fantasy.
If you only do the same thing it can get boring... if your not "In love" with the other person.
So girls should be teases forever because they are good for nothing but sex and once the dude has got a taste of the pussy he doesn't give a shit no more, got it.
Not teases forever. Fishing analogy: Look, you are the fish, he is the fisherman. Don't bite the hook and jump into his boat... what fun is that? No fisherman wants a fish like that (sure he'll kill it and eat it or throw it back, but no fun). He wants tension and play and a fight. That is fun, makes him feel like you are a worthy fish, he has to fight for you! Show him what you got and that if he wants it, you have your wants as well. Its an exchange. Don't make it free, cause free has no value...
Sex is a major draw and attraction for men, it isn't the only one. Sex is a bunch of chemicals that attract... releasing those chemicals... can, often does, release tension... chemical release.. gotta start over... For the girl, it is much more of a bonding chemical. That I think is the area of confusion... the girl feels like (yes, he's in this cause were intimate), the guys like (I wonder about that other girl?). Catch him with other things first so you got something to hold onto.
When Im out fishing men tend to get pissed if the fish don't bite.
Getting pissed is their issue. Keep your self esteem and worth high so they know in advance you are value. That is the source of a lot of issues... too many girls are wounded in earlier life or have inadequate fathers and they go into dating with low self esteem. Then guys EXPECT to take them (because they are weak) and are mad when they don't. Its the guys problem not yours. you aren't responsible for his feelings. countering his physical strength with your feminine confidence would work imho.
its a tough game to play, I know. Do the best you can.
I completely agree with this.. I think people are taking it to personal. Lol nice my take! 😊
thank you! didn't realize woudl be a firestorm.
You'll get a lot of butthurt whores hating on you for this haha
Looks like you have wisdom as that is happening. But someones gotta put a stick in the bees nest to get the honey out, right?:) in other words someone needs to help them see the other side, so they adjust their behavior and play better, to get what they really want.
So you're really going against females to look better in the eyes of men? Pathetic.
@ShaeNielson I don't follow your comment
@ShaeNielson No, I want girls to better understand how men are thinking so that they don't end up with the endless questions on GAG of "we did XYZ, why isn't he responding". Fewer hurt females is the objective. The "honey" in this analogy, is girls getting what they want, or having a better chance.
You do not speak for men in general. I do not identify with anything that you said. Get over yourself if you think you are the representative of men.
The moment I feel like a girl is trying to make me do "the chase" I walk away.
WoW, man I feel exposed. I agree with you solid points and I think most of the woman don't realize this. I think you should add the element of rejection and state its reasons.
Thank you. can you clarify what you mean by the "element of rejection". Many angles to that in my mind.
I will like you to clarify, the guys "starting to slow the pace down" and finally NO or big fight.
can you be more clear what you are asking for and I'll reply. ty. what is it you are asking?
If I were single again, i'd start with sex only, and only progress to relationships when that was good.
Different guys respond to different things.
I'd generally suggest neither men nor women try to trap people who are different from themselves, and rather find those who are compatible.
Interesting, so your experience is that is #1 important in terms of compatiblity, or are you saying get what you want then figure out if she is sane?
It's top 3-4 items in terms of compatibility.
My experience is that as casual sex becomes more and more common, a higher and higher proportion of women who want to move slowly are actually covering up low sex drives.
Also, many women will drop their attraction standards for a long term relationship, settling for less sexual interest to get other benefits. I'm not interested in a relationship where she settled. If she doesn't see me as worth a short term relationship, I don't want to add more and extend it longer.
The chase is fun for a few seconds. After that it gets annoying and in the way of actually getting anywhere. A person knows within seconds if they would sleep with you, and very shortly after if they would date you. Can we cut the time wasting crap?
guess it depends on intention. do you chase someone you want a LTR with? Is it just as good to build relationship and romance, or does it have to get physical fast? trying to figure out if the difference is real intent, or if the sex is required to even get to LTR.
I guess I would if I were already in love with them
Good point on the few seconds will know if they'll sleep with you, seems to be a quick assessment.
True, and it's up to the woman to not let the guy hit and quit too easily.
"too easily"
Explain.
@BubbleBoy69 She'll let him get some, but not too easily. Make the guy wait some dates, slow down the pace, etc.
Come on, that's obvious.
Makes perfect sense!. Except we were real close to having sex but I turned down the offer. Since we got a bit touchy and half naked makes sense now on how he dropped me like trash! :).
sorry to hear that. Might be an added element here of rejection, depending on how that all went. harder today than ever to manage this.
If people are going to do a one night stand right, stop responding to their calls or text after sex. There is not meant to anything more.
Everyone is selfish and want to get more
Oh no. Don't reveal our secrets.
LOL: I think if guys are just honest with girls, it would help a lot. plenty of them will still play, just be honest about what one is doing and expectations going forward. Then secrets won't matter... I'd even say talk about them openly with her... will help bond more.
True. Everyone should be honest regardless of gender. It'd be a better world.
👍👍
Not really. You're making it out to have to do with anticipation or something. Refractory period is a purely biological thing.
not following your comment.
There is a biological reaction that makes guys less capable of being sexually aroused after orgasm.
LOLZ! Unless the sex is epically bad, just doing it once is hardly going to kill attraction.
were not all the same, but it is true for some. It depends.
You basically copied a lot of this from some girls question/post on here.
I'm sure all of this has been said over and over, but I took it out of my head, not copy and paste. By saying that, then you are confirming it is in line with what girls believe to be true?
Dude don't lie. I was just reading some girls post on here last night and you took some lines word for word from her post.
Also this doesn't apply to all men.
I see. There was another post where I replied to her question. Someone said that was the best answer they had seen and suggested I create a mytake. So I copied my post verbatim, updated it, and made it a mytake. So you are correct, I wasn't thinking from that angle. But I'm the author of both... not copying.
Nothing applies to everyone. there is an exception to every rule, but this happens all too much.
Meh. So much effort, with the only lasting reward being a dirt nap.
I thought it's because women are just boring after sex.
I'm usually the one who stops the relationship after we had sex a couple of times... oops
you're 17 ...
@CoolSky01 and?
Why do you dump guys after sex?
@SovereignessofVamps same reason why guys dumb girls after sex. Either the guy I was with was bad in bed, or i lost interest, etc.
I thought as much. I think it's more common guys do this but plenty of girls do too. I have friends just like U! I haven't done that, but even a bad break up has nvr stopped me from dating multiple guys @ the same time or at least being interested lol
Well i was surpirsed usually girls who do this are way into their twenties not 17 ... at 17 most girls stick to one guy and some have no guys at all and you're talking like you at least dumped 2 guys which makes me wonder... what does the future holds for you
@CoolSky01 wow...17. how well would you say you communicate with these guys before getting intimite... like expectations of relationship, how well you know them, etc?
@CoolSky01 hey don't judge me, guys do this all the time, so when a girl does it it's all suddenly not okay? 🙄
first of all guys who do this are much older than 17 also no one said guys and girls are equal when it comes to sex they sure as hell aren't, you can have 10 partners and no decent guy will go near you, you brother can sleep with 20 girls and still score a decent, quality girl, you are free to live your life the way you see right just dont ignore the fact that there are consequences, your words mean nothing really what matters is the way guys are going to treat you and to them they dont care what logical explinations you come up with to explain how girls can do whatever they want cause at the end of the day they will not listen to a single word and will choose your pretty neibghour who never even kissed a guy before.
This is an advice site and my advice to you, dont ruin you reputation so early, what you think will happen... will not, you won't sleep with every single guy in sight, dump him and move on then expect a great guy to come along and take you, i have seen so many questions like this around here and i even heard some on real life about girls who act the way you do claiming no guy is worthy then they meet a wonderful guy who is perfect by all standards but are too ashamed to actually go near him cause of their past.
@CoolSky01 no guy has ever asked me how many I've slept with. We just swap stories.
At angel, I think lots of guys can't get anywhere near the amount of partners women. So they judge because they can't really compete.
@CoolSky01 well if a guy can't accept the fact that I've been with other guys then screw men I don't need no guy in my life telling me what to do. Men are pigs and complete hypocrites, lol bye.
@CoolSky01 and I don't believe all men are pigs, but the ones you are describing are.
@SovereignessofVamps true
all men are pigs then , good luck without us
@CoolSky01 I'm perfectly happy having my one guy best friend, and my three brothers who are not pigs, in my life. Can't deal with how other men treat women, so they can't judge me for treating other men the same way.
your brothers think the same as me they are not magically thinking like cause they are your brothers
@CoolSky01 my brothers don't... One of my brothers is on the way of becoming of priest, an other is already married to his first and only girlfriend, and the other is too young to have a girlfriend so no my brothers are nothing like you pig, bye.
@CoolSky01 just saying since you said "your brothers think the same was as me"
you're seriously dumb aren't you?
your first brother is a priest so, the second married his first girlfriend "basically he was looking for quality girl and he found one" , you're brothers think just like me hence why they are acting the way they are, guys dont take girls like you seriously.
@CoolSky01 lmao I was saying they weren't pigs like you are, and my brother (the ones that's married) wife has been with other men, but that didn't make her any less desirable to him bye.
@CoolSky01 I'm pretty sure most men want experienced women. That's honestly what they've told me.
@SovereignessofVamps well most men are liars , this is the internet and i dont even know you so i have no reason to lie or hide anything, the only guys who say they want experience are those obsessed with sex or are not decent themselves they dont get to choose so will settle for anything , if you want a good guy a good husband material you have to save yourself and no sleep around , guys would choose the pretty virgin over the hot experienced girl any day, i know cause it happens quire often around me, the world is full of lies and i have no reason to add more lies, sleeping around doesn't make a girl valueable at all, i refused to date girls cause they did that, thats why guys avoid some girls.
@CoolSky01 not true at all, maybe for you but I highly doubt ALL men are the same lmao I have this friend who's experienced, and she has a good husband who loves her and also the fact she was more experienced then other women.
i think i mentioned that some men are obsesse with sex so it happens , but many more dont like the idea
@CoolSky01 and if what you are saying is true then you stay a virgin too, it's not fair that your future wife (if you ever have one) has to be a virgin, if you aren't one either.
@CoolSky01 lol anyways I'm pretty sure you're a ugly ass guy hiding behind a computer typing all this dumb shit, like whatever you'll never have a girlfriend cuz you're a 0/10
@CoolSky01 and also by the way my mom was married before she met my dad, and then her first husband died and she met my dad, and my dad didn't care that she had sex before so... I don't know where you get off telling girls that men will never love them if they have had sex before lol.
@CoolSky01 it's nvr been an issue for me or any women I know.
@CoolSky01 "you can have 10 partners and no decent guy will go near you"
Cute!
Keep telling yrself that.
Hey, if you repeat that enough times, it *might* make you feel a little better... about not being one of those 10.
It might.
Lol
__
Srsly, though? What fucking planet do you people live on, where these "statistics" are actually something that people not only KNOW right off the top of their heads... but explicitly TALK about?
Smh...
Like, really... is this a thing? Boy and girl are having a conversation one day, and, out of nowhere, he wants her to count her previous lovers and give him a number?
LOL
Not only would that be a huge turn-off -- pretty much instant dealbreaker level, tbh -- but, it'd be a pretty awesome way to get a girl thinking about her past lovers again! Memories... <3
I swear, some boys are stupid beyond comprehension.
Simple... it gets boring and old once we do it a few times.