Quick, Simple Guide for Getting Girls: 5 Tips That'll Up Your Game

[Anonymous]

A bit of background on me:

I used to have no game at all, even when I knew that a girl was interested in me I'd have no idea how to get her. I used to get friendzoned all the time, had no idea/wrong ideas on how to get a girl, just like plenty of guys on here.

If this sounds like you, I recommend you look at this. Most of this advice is stuff you've probably heard before (if you have, it must mean it's true/important doesn't it?). Fast forward a couple of years and some soul searching and I can confidently say that I finally understand "the game". I'm no pick-up guru artist and nor do I want to be (if that's what you want to be there's plenty of books on that topic and I've read more of them than I'd like to admit, now I look back at them and think it's kind of sad). I now have a wonderful girlfriend whom I love dearly and I wouldn't trade for the world. This is nothing more than some simplified tips to nudge you in the right direction.

1) If you're currently in the FZ or are interested in a girl, ask her out

Stop wasting your time obsessing over a single girl who probably isn't worth it, the faster you find out whether she's interested or not the less it'll hurt you if she isn't. I hate to admit it, but I was in the FZ for two years, two fucking years. Two years that I completely wasted on a girl who turned out didn't care about me. That could have all been avoided if I had the balls to ask her out/show interest. Don't make the same mistake. So call up that girl now and ask her out, I'm not kidding, pick up your damn phone and call her, don't text her, call her and ask her out right now. You'll be a winner either way.

2) Talk to as many girls as possible. Hell talk to as many people as possible if you suffer from social anxiety

The only way to get over your fears is to face them. Flirt with any random girl you meet, practice makes perfect. Don't tell me there's no girls out there because that's complete bs, girls are everywhere. They don't call it social SKILLS for nothing, a skill is something you work on in order to improve it. Sure in the beginning you'll probably suck or even embarrass yourself, but who cares? You'll probably never see or speak to that person again.

Dating really is a numbers game, so the more girls you ask out the more likely you are to succeed and once you "get it" it actually becomes fairly straightforward and easy to getting dates, just like riding a bike, you never forget. Also, there is no silver bullet to having engaging conversations, it's something that you must learn through lots and lots of practice. So practice starting conversations with girls by talking to as many as possible and make a dating account, there's literally girls on there that WANT to be talked to.

3) Have fun!

Dating and looking for a potential partner should be about having fun and not about the prize. The more you concentrate on having fun instead of succeeding the less stressed you'll be and the happier you'll be. People love happy people and gravitate towards them. So if you're feeling down just know that that's okay, it happens to everyone. Concentrate on yourself and work on achieving small goals and work your way up from there.

For anyone feeling depressed I highly recommend you look into this topic to shed some light on why you feel the way you do and how you can stop the vicious cycle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness . Having fun also has the wonderful effect of making you look more confident and for the billionth time, girls love confidence.

4) Always work on yourself

Look in the mirror and now look at fashion magazines/websites, do you see what I'm talking about? Sure you might love that wolf t-shirt you're wearing and those 6 year old jeans are probably super comfortable from wearing them for so many years, and yes those shoes feel like stepping on clouds...really dirty looking clouds though, which reminds me, whiten those yellow ass teeth. Save some money and get a new wardrobe. Look at fashion magazines/websites, know what's in style and what isn't. Respect yourself enough to make a good first impression.

If you don't respect yourself enough to do that, then why the hell should others respect you? Being fashionable can do you wonders, girls freaking LOVE fashion, they obsess over it, so update your look already. Also, if you're unfit, start working out. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt in his prime to get a girl, just look presentable and healthy, match that up with a wonderful and confident personality and there won't be any stopping you. I'm sure there will be guys saying "I'm really ugly", just because you're ugly it doesn't mean you have no chance. Dressing nicely and working out is only going to help your chances so do it.

5) Be nice

Respect women and they'll do the same, if they don't then that person is probably not a person you want to get involved with anyway so you'd be dodging a bullet. People that say girls don't like nice guys don't know what they're talking about, girls that are good girlfriend material LOVE nice guys, the guys that they don't love are nice guys that have no balls and aren't confident, make sense?

Just remember, this could be you

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with number 3. Some people are so focused on finding someone that they forget dating and relationships should be fun and light hearted!

[myTake Owner]

That's exactly true! The moment I stopped caring or having any real intentions other than getting to know someone and having fun is when I noticed a big change in my love life.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like good strategies

[The_Kitchen_Sink]

Maybe my case is just really specific, but number 2 is very characterizing...
I have social anxiety yet I have friends and can meet new people and people like me in general. I'm a very funny guy.
The problem is, I still have social anxiety. The panic attack type. The only mood when im not anxious is when im an idiot but I can't will that one to happen. And by idiot i mean a really funny guy who doesn't care what people think. I usually dont care what people think about me, yet i still have social anxiety because as a kid I was bullied and insulted because I was smarter than everyone else.
So maybe I'm a special snowflake or there are other people like me as well...

Anyways, social anxiety is not a small thing to overcome, its not only physical, its chemical...

[myTake Owner]

You actually sound a lot like how I was. The truth is it never fully goes away, you will always get nervous/anxious when talking to a girl you like (at least in the beginning). You just need to learn how to still communicate effectively and be yourself even though you're anxious. The only way you learn how to do that is through practice and you will continue to improve the more you do it. One thing that helped me was this realization: Look at couples you know, do they look nervous or anxious around each other? Hell no, in fact they look the most comfortable and relaxed when they're together. So what do you have to be nervous about? If you two would actually make a good couple you shouldn't be nervous around each other so why be nervous/anxious now? You should be talking to a girl that you're interested in as if she's already you're girlfriend (obviously there is a line, but I think you get what I mean). If you're talking to a girl as if she's your girlfriend and she's not buying it you move on bc you

[myTake Owner]

two aren't a match anyway. Personally, this simple realisation helped me a lot and I hope it does the same for you.

[The_Kitchen_Sink]

Oh no, Im not anxious when im talking to them. Im anxious when im not talking to them. When im on the street or in a bar or around them in general...
Inconvenient, i know

[DarkHumorRUs]

I do all this shit.
I have even done number 1, but the girls don't think of it as a date, they think of it as a hangout.
I even once said "hey are you still up for that date?" and she said yes but suggested a slightly different activity that was still the same basic thing. I doubt she actually thought of it as a date though, cause it was just a show at her school...

[myTake Owner]

If they don't think of it as a date you haven't made it clear enough to them that it is a date and/or the date was lousy. Asking a girl on a first date should be something along these lines: "are you free this Friday, because I'd love to take you out to dinner, just the two of us". There is no way she's going to misinterpret that, if she does it either means she's not too bright or you're so far into the friendzone that you need to tell her that it's a romantic date. When you take a girl out on a date make sure you put effort into it, really try to sweep her off her feet. No girl goes to a date hoping she doesn't get swept of her feet. Don't take her out to see a show or movie or anything that won't allow for natural interaction, save shows and movies for later when you know she already likes you and you actually know each other. Also, you should always text a girl after a date is over saying you had a really good time and you'd like to do it again (unless you don't want to obviously).