Misogyny: What It Is and What It Isn't

After a titillating, and rather lengthy, conversation with a certain person here on GAG. I realized something: misogyny is alive and well. By the way, I am certainly going to mess up the spelling at some point in this MyTake.

Misogyny. What it is. What is isn't. And How to Spell it.

First off. I realize reactions are going to be mixed, and many men, if not women, are going to say "you just throw that word out whenever you don't like what someone is saying," which is actually true, but only when the shoe fits. Misogyny obviously means something though, and can be used in certain situations, so suggesting you can never use the word is an obvious attempt to diminish its meaning.

Misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

This is quite literally the definition of the word. So to put this in perspective, and to show you that I'm a practical person, and quite handsome according to my mother:) I will give you a brief indicator of what misogyny is not:

Misogyny is Not:

-Calling a particular women a name

or otherwise insulting her, as long as the insult has nothing to do with her gender or the female gender as a whole. -Probably an ass hole move in many contexts, but not misogynistic

-Flirting, sleeping, or even using women for your own selfish desires

Again, the last one is probably an ass hole move, but makes you more of a jerk than a misogynist.

-Approaching girls in bars, or most other social settings

-Stating differences between the genders

They will exist until we are all hermaphrodites, ignoring them is idiotic.

-Taking note of double standards

Again, there will always be double standards. As long as those double standards do not materially damage anyone's ability to seek opportunity, or to be taken respectfully, than just deal with it.

-Liking women's bodies

There is a difference between liking and objectifying (more on that later).

Misogyny Is:

-Cat Calling

(and this made me write this in the first place) Let's keep it real here, every guy, unless he has the IQ of Forest Gump, knows Cat calling will not make a girl come over and talk to you, nor will it impress her in literally any way. So why do it? Even if you don't realize it, it's a power dynamic. Cat Calling is a way of explaining, in rather loud and profane language, that you can have her if you want, even if you probably know you can't. It makes women feel objectified, frightened, and like second class citizens.

-Blaming women for your personality defects.

So women reject you, and your mother, like my own, told you that you are handsome, charming, and everybody loves you! So what gives? If they don't want to talk to you, they must just be a "Bitch" right? Wrong. Good looking women get hit on more times in one bar outing, than a Nickelback concert has empty seats; it gets exhausting. And honestly, they want men to approach them. Sort of like how companies want to interview and hire people. But they can't hire everyone, so they pick the best resumes and go from there.

This means, if you are unfortunately not all that attractive, (that's just natural selection guys, suck it up) and walk up to a women with a simple "hello, can I buy you a drink?" you'll likely get rejected. Be creative, set yourself apart, simple as that. We are the approachers; I don't know if that will change someday, but it's the way things are now. So quit your bitching; it's not helping you or anyone else.

And, I'd like to add, that this is not a double standard. If a ton of unfortunate looking girls approached you over and over again, and said the same bland thing every time, you'd get annoyed and probably a bit rude as well. It's just the way things are, so deal.

-Blaming women for shit you did period.

What made me want to write this, is the guy I had the aforementioned titillating convo with (I love that word by the way), quite literally said that women are to blame for being cat called because they dress a certain way. Grow the hell up! If YOU do something, it's on YOU. Is she wearing clothes? Than you don't have a right to yell things about her body, period.

-Slut Shaming

I agree creep shaming exists, although I don't think, or as far as I know have experienced it myself, I've seen it happen. But Slut shaming is just as bad. If a girl doesn't want to sleep with you, but sleeps with someone else. She's not a slut. If a girl sleeps with a few men in a year, she's not a slut. If a girl lives her sexual life the way she chooses, she's not a slut. You know what... just don't call anyone a slut.

-Viewing women as sexual objects

Would you comment on your male co-worker's ass while you are discussing the monthly expenditures of printing supplies? No, then don't do it with women. Best practice is not to even consider a relationship or anything else with your co-worker, but I'm not saying being attracted is wrong, just that there is more social red tape you just have to go through. If you are into a woman you work with, and you feel she may be into you, ask her out on a date. That's it fellas, that simple. If she says no, and you are taking this risk, move on and try to forget it happened.

There are numerous other examples that I don't believe are as prominent with our generation. But these are some that won't seem to die, and guys doing them don't seem to want to admit they are sexist.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Stating differences between the genders
    They will exist until we are all hermaphrodites, ignoring them is idiotic.

    there may be differences but there are differences between ALL of us. that does not mean that anything anyone states is an actual difference between genders as apposed to difference between two people as apposed to imagined difference. ... there's no way to ensure what you state as a difference is not a prejudice.

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    • Maybe not, but the point was more so that we can not be expected to tip toe around literally everything that we say. That distracts from the actual issues, and promotes a culture of over political correctness. And, yes there are differences between men and women, in a general sense, that have more to do with our biology than anything else.

  • I agree with this, I don't think anyone has broken it down as well as this. Thanks :)

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  • Lol at all the guys getting butthurt.

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  • Good job with this. I liked it.

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What Guys Said 15

  • none of the stuff you stated other then blaming women for stuff that they didn't do is misogyny,.

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    • Lol, I think it's funny that it's all guys who are getting upset about this. I'm also not sure how you are defining mysogeny if you think only one of those things is mysogeny.

  • some women create mysogynists. i speak for myself.

    After a life of being treated like garbage by women, i started to develop some defenses against them, i wouldn't say i hate women (if i met a good hearted one and she was able to understand what i've been through, i'm 100% sure, i would take that chance) but i have a different opinion about them nowadays.

    Women are capable of humiliating and destroying guys they dont find attractive, just for sheer pleasure. There are very cruel women out there as im sure there are many assholes that treat women like shit. Unfortunately these assholes are the ones who get away with it, just because they have the looks for example.

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  • Cat calling is a vulgar cheap thing to do... But I wouldn't call it misogynistic. Women are adults (if you go by age anyway (see: what I just said outside the second pair of brackets is misogynistic (but I'm just being a jerk over the internet, don't get your knickers in a twist))). And adults can handle assholes like everyone else.

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  • Oh, I'm straight up objectifying the FUCK out of this take!!!

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  • People don't know jack about objectification and really need to stop using terms like "sexual objects" when it's basically just a buzzword they don't know how to use properly. Please stop.

    Besides the 'sexual objects' part being stupid, none of those things in the 'is' category *belong* to misogyny - to the point where it actually doesn't make sense to classify them as such. Misogyny *might* manifest in those ways, but those things are manifestations of more things that aren't misogyny than things that are.

    I"m not even saying those things aren't bad, it's just that your classification is silly and you're too eager to call this stuff misogyny.

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    • By your logic, you can call nothing mysogeny.

    • You can call hating women and discriminating based on that hatred misogyny, and isn't that the whole point?

    • As were my examples. Please explain to me an example of mysogeny.

  • I think you are wrong. I think you are wrong because you have cited actions, not mentalities, and the reality is that misogyny is based on mentality, not action.

    For instance: "Viewing women as sexual objects" is a philosophy, but "Flirting, sleeping, or even using women for your own selfish desires" is a by-product of that philosophy.

    Separating the two is impossible. Or rather, a person who can separate the two is far worse than any misogynist; that is closer to psychopathy.

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    • Umm what? First of all some of them were actions, and some were mentalities. It's itrwlvent anyway, because the word is not defined to be either/or, it's both of them.

      Second, these are not the same thing. Although similar, and certainly not mutually exclusive, they are not the same thing. Sleeping around is simply being permiscuous, and both sexes are guilty of it. It has little to do with genders, even if it still is morally questionable. Viewing women as sexual objects, at least as I defined it, is viewing women as a gender as tools for nothing more than sexual gratification. For instance, you can go sleep with several people over the course of a few weeks, with no desire to actually date any of those individuals, it kind of makes you a jerk, but not a mysogenist. However, even if you do that, you can still view women in your workplace, or wherever as just as capable of the things you are.

      given that definition, I'd say you are verging on psychopathy if you can't separate them.

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    • Your opinion is wrong. So, let's just let it rest there. You have no idea what you're talking about and are batshit crazy. Happens.

    • Ok, if you would like to rest it with you making no valid points, and not defending your argument, that's fine. You only have a right to your opinion so much as you can defend it, and you haven't defended yours at all.

  • Let me just point out a contradiction I've noticed.

    Catcalling = explicitly showing attraction in a woman, albeit in a douchey way.

    "Slut shaming" is something done primarily by women by the way - men do it quite a lot too.

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    • What is the contradiction? I agree that women do slut shame, women are often guilty of mysogeny as well. As odd as that might sound, this is instutionalized mysogeny, meaning it's not some conscious attempt to hate women.

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    • You have an immature view of how women think, and I'm not saying they all think the same. I explained why cat calling is mysogenistic, where as looking at a woman (unless of course you are creepily staring her down) is not. This stuff is not overt mysogeny. It's like when store managers follow a black person around a store, the manager does not intend or even think they are being racist. When a guy cat calls a woman, it's not like "I hate women" is going through his brain. But, any man with half a brain knows cat calling is just creepy and women don't like it. He's doing it because on some level he wants to prove his superiority to her, and this is mysogeny.

    • Excuse... Recently a study was carried out and 50% of misogynistic tweets were sent from women. Enough said.

      No it's not about "superiority" Lol are you kidding me?

      It's about being a half-wit. You just said most guys realise it's bad! The daft ones are the ones calling...

      Whatever dude.

  • 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

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  • Cat calling isn't misogyny depending on whether the woman finds the man attractive many women actually like cat calling.

    A perfect example is when dumb frat boys cat call girls at parties and he happens to be cute. Girls giggle and play along because they get validation they are hot.

    Women only dislike cat calling when it's from men they do not get validation from. For example a group of poor urban youths on the side walk who happen to like a girl walking the streets in a short dress and cat call her.

    She does not get validation and hates it because they appear to be poor and she does not find them attractive.

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    • Well, I can't argue with ignorance and delusion

    • You are so wrong. It doesn't matter how hot the guy is we don't like cat calling period.

  • Yawn. You remind me of the people on the religious right. You try to teach people how to live their life ethically, what to think, what to believe, how to live. I say, if people want to slut shame, let them slut shame. If people want to view women as sexual objects, let them. Like sexual behavior, it's really their prerogative. Live and let live. That is my motto.

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    • Yeah, when you are affecting other people's lives negatively, it becomes everyone's business. I agree people can and should live their lives the way they want, as long as it isn't physically or emotionally harming anyone else. It's the same reason you can't murder, etc. We can't let people do whatever the hell they want if they are hurting others.

    • That's their own problem if women get hurt when people slut shame them. If people slut shame a woman, she just shouldn't care about it. It's up to us how we react to things. If you think I am an Ahole, then it's up to me whether I want to let it bother me. People should be able to believe whatever they want to believe.

  • None of the examples you used are misogyny.

    Hate towards women is misogyny. Period.
    Cat calling isn't harassment, it isn't about power or suppression. It's simply stupid males being meat heads and thinking like cavemen. It isn't HATE.

    Blaming women for shit we do is not misogyny anymore than all the shit women blame men for is misandry. It's not about hate it's about not wanting to take responsibility for one's own actions.

    Slut shaming is done by women more often than it is done by males. It isn't about hating women, it's used at times of war as a weapon. Just like women calling men creeps, perverts, assholes, pricks, scumbags, dirtbags, etc etc etc.

    Viewing women as sexual objects is not misogyny either. Studies have been done and women objectify women at a higher rate them men. It isn't HATE.
    www.forbes.com/.../#7a17d9ff3cd1

    Misogyny is saying "I won't hire a woman because women are stupid" or "I don't think women are worth anything because they are only useful for sex"
    That shit is misogyny.

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    • Sure... You can pretend that what I talked about isn't mysogeny, but in my opinion it still is. This was a MyTake, and so is my opinion. Regardless of how you define the word, the things I described are still wrong.

    • He does have a point though. You should have also listed :thinking the female sex tend to be stupid or tjat all they are good for is sex. Lots of men seem to have this kind of mentality and its so terrible

    • They may be wrong but they are not misogyny. Your take or not.

  • Dont see what Misogyny has to do with "Cat-calling" though. Since short said it happens cause of their love an affection of women, even if they do it in stupid ways at times. And on superficial levels, has nothing to do with hate anyway. Cause yeah in many ways its unwanted compliments or rude ones, as sometimes too honest/straight to the point senteces.

    Now that I really think of it, none of these points has anything to do with Misogyny. While depeends on the definition too, since some simply label it as hate towards women = mysogyny. In that case, certainly none are. At best can be argued a few can be kinda prejudice towards women, but even that is debatable.

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    • I litteraly put the definition of mysogeny in this MyTake, and it includes contempt for women. That's the Websters definition for god sake. And cat calling is about power, that's it. Power to promote patriarchy is mysogeny.

    • Yeah, like I mention you did. People these days would put comments like "You are pretty/beautiful" as cat-calling also. Do you seriously think people who say such things think about ownership, power or promoting patriarchy?, lol. Which in other words, it is impossible to give compliments to a stranger that they may or may not want without being a misogynist? Seems like are the same thing to you anyway.

  • make one about misandry too.

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    • Mysandry exists, there's no denying that either. I just think mysogenists tend not to believe they are mysogenists, where as myandrists will gladly tell you that they despise men. It doesn't make it right, but it does make it more transparent.

    • thats true. but i dont really know how to deal with that, or what to do about it.

  • I guess you got triggered by some misogynistic microagressions perpetrated by the patriarchy that oppresses wymyn and LGBT people of color. I think you should send this manifesto along with a list of your demands to the dorm RA so you can start a conversation about race and gender bias in this oppressive culture. Lame. Save the lectures for your cats.

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    • Lol. I'm not one for over political correctness, or pathologically looking for ways to be offended. But if you feel what I mentioned in the mysogeny part of the post is not wrong, you've got deep rooted issues.

    • The things you described are not, by definition, misogyny. Merriam-Webster defines "misogyny" simply as "a hatred for women." That is all.

      Cat-calling is *not* an expression of hatred for women, rather the opposite. It's hard-up men yelling inane crap to attractive women out of sexual frustration. That's not hatred, son, that's misdirected libido.

      Slut-shaming is also not a hatred of women, but rather an expression of conservative mores. There are many people in society who believe promiscuity to be a sin. Islam, Catholicism, and other faiths all teach that promiscuity (or any sex before marriage) is a moral infamia. So slut-shaming arises not from a hatred of women, but rather from the desire of some to impose their values on others.

      And viewing women as sexual object is *definitely* not a hatred of women. It's a love of pussy, not a hatred of women. That's just normal sexual desire. Most women actually want to be seen as sexual object *by the right man in the right situation.*

  • then prove who needs/deserves more rights... don't push your conservatism onto everybody else here..

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    • No idea what you are talking about

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    • No one deserves more rights, and this mytake wasn't even about rights, it was about social decorum. Has little to nothing to do with conservatism as well.

    • No one deserves more rights than anyone else I should say*

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