7 Reasons Why Nice Girls Will Always Finish Last (Satirical Response Take)

* This is a satirical response to 7 Reasons Why Nice Guys Will Always Finish Last. If you take offence, then please take it up with my official complaints committee at http://butthurt.com *

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7 reasons why nice girls will always finish last (Satirical Response Take)

My mytake is obviously tackling stereotypically self-proclaimed "nice girls" and not real genuine nice girls. That's because their are no real genuine nice girls, just ugly girls that wasn't to date way out of their league and then if the super hot guys won't date them, it's because all guys are shallow and only date similarly hot girls that happen to actually be in the same league as them. (Nice girls are never nice - hot girls are always bitches.)

1. Victim Mentality

This victim mentality is a sign of weakness. Who wants to be with someone weak who blames all their problems on men and hot bitches?

Nice girls are always looking for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame their lack of success in the dating world on. Nothing is more unattractive than entitlement (joke: it's because they're ugly).

2. Lack of confidence

We can all agree that lack of confidence is one of the biggest turn offs. Other than rage, anger and bitterness, insecurity and lack of confidence are what most nice girls have to offer...Actually, wait... Those things are pretty sexy as long as the girl is a hawt biatch ... my bad.

3. Bitterness towards men

Nice girls hate alpha studs because these guys are totally not materialistic and only looking for what's on the inside of a woman. Of course it helps of she's facially aesthetic and carrying a nice pair (melons, of course).

Nice girl: Hey man! You're just a sexist pig. All you do is degrade women and case after them for their bodies. How dare you suggest women are sexual beings also and how dare you look for women in your own league. #DOWNwiththepatriarchy

Here are some things many "nice girls" say to men:

- Men are useless without two keys

If he doesn't have a key to his car and a key to his apartment, the guy's probably a useless late twenties virgin basement dweller. Ditch him, my sisters!

Hot bitches are usually confident enough to secure the right kind of high status male. Nice girls have a way to go however!

- Men in their twenties are immature and just want one thing

That's right: we need more rich, patriarchal sugar daddies in their thirties snapping up the hot blonde bombshells in their twenties so that younger, resentful men will go ahead and do the same thing. Fuck marriage, fuck commitment.

Of course, ugly nice girls always feel the most entitled to Rolex wearing swag. Given the chance, they'd happily jump on the alpha fuck boy bandwagon, it doesn't matter what is age is.

- All men want sex

"Nice girls" usually are the loudest when it comes to voicing their hate towards open-minded sexuality because "guys only commit to some so they can fuck and chuck" (chances are they don't even have the looks to get a guy like that anyway).

Nice girls tend to have this very pessimistic view of men and think they're all sex-crazed players. Why can't they get a man? Oh silly, it's because confident attractive alphas like hot bitches of course... oh wait... that's true, damn, my point is invalid!

4. They constantly hate on hot bitches instead of fixing their looks with plastic surgery

This is very common with nice girls. They try to bring hot bitches down by labeling them "insecure", "plastic" and "fake"... wait there might actually be some truth to that. Damn, I'm not having a very good day today...

Guess what? Hot bitches are not necessarily manipulative, gold digging divas. Ok well a majority might be but let's take a moment to honour the silent minority though, eh?

*1 minute's worth of silence dedicated to the hot bitch victims of gender discrimination... They have life so hard*

These nice girls want us to think that hot bitches are just superficial, materialist good diggers and who won't talk to you unless you buy them a drink and the second you sign over the marriage deeds without a pre-nup, they scram like a fleet of Canadian geese. How dare they insinuate such atrocious generalisations!

5. Nice girls aren't really "nice"

Let me put it this way: baking your man a nice apple pie and then promising to be a faithful wife to him doesn't exactly mean you're entitled to that trip down the aisle with your godlike alpha stud dream partner. Saying that all men are looks oriented shallow pigs because you can't get one to commit to you doesn't exactly make you a "nice" person. Even hot bitches are nice too... Damn, I keep doing this, it's something about Wednesdays.

6. "Nice girl" became the new definition of a boring, unattractive practising Mormon

Saying your a nice girl basically means you have nothing else to offer except your "niceness". No humour, no confidence, no looks and no career/money because let's face it, no attractive woman ever had problems getting a guy and no nice girl was ever confident or attractive. #generalisationsforthewin

If you were really nice, you'd just accept your impending doom and stop bothering hot bitches and alpha studs about it. Face it: you're gonna be single for EVER. Take your tears and cry else where. Nope, nope ... don't come to me with your legitimate complaints. Don't come to me asking for constructive advice because you won't get it. Nobody gives a damn about "nice" girls. Nobody.

7. Nice girls are shallow.

The ' nice girl' specimen is very shallow. She can't even be bothered to do girly aerobic workouts and she expects to get the most masculine, confident men. They're usually the ones to set the highest, craziest standards for men and feel entitled on getting the creme de la creme because they had the oh so unique quality of being "nice".

Listen doll (and don't you dare cringe at my poor choice of sexist, patronising language, doll) the dating world is competitive like at any other world (let's not even bring the 80/20 theory of female hypergamy into this, ok doll?). Confident attractive men want hot bitches. So stop saying they are shallow because they won't date you: after all they're a small percentage of men and they already have a large pool of hot bitches to deal with. What do you expect from them?

I'm not saying this is a rigidly set rule (it is a rigidly set rule) and average people can't date out of their league. That's because average girls can but average guys can't. Nice girls: go for an average guy. * insert some feel good, cringe worthy dribble about genuine niceness *

(e.g.here is a pic of an average girl with a confident, successful man. See - average people can date above their league ... well, women anyway)

If a hot bitch wanted to date a confident man, she had to do a really hard Pilates regiment and slap on some make up. Hard working people deserve to date each other.

Don't feel entitled to date a super hot high status masculine man because you still have your pick of millions of other men way above your league.

Real nice girls don't finish last: they finish first in every baking contest known to man

If they never get laid or marry a man, it's not a big deal because they're nice and nice girls always have that feel good factor regardless of how much their life sucks. #realitydealwithit #suckitupnicegirls #femaletears


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What Girls Said 18

  • hahahahaa Awwww... what IS the difference between having a butt and being an ass?

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    • Lol how you think I'm being an ass. I wouldn't even be having to write responses like this if people weren't writing such b. s. "nice guy" articles. the original take owner is the ass.

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    • thank you, :)
      I had more but this was the basest, the rest were just naughty

  • Whats with all these bitter response takes? This was not funny at all. Epic fail.

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    • It was pointing out how utterly stupid the original myTake was.

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    • Fair enough, but I still don't like these.

    • haha.. i just found both amusing

  • Bahaaaa someone felt aimed by My Take 😂😜

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    • lol, well don't feel too pleased with yourself: I see a lot of nice guy bashing b. s. on this site. somebody needs to point out how ridiculous those threads are.

    • @ElissaDido I don't think it's fair for people to assume dating in one culture is the same as another. I can say women here in the United States are shallow, and picky, and there is no way you can give me a rebuttal, unless you've lived here.

  • Dude, this is hilarious. It speaks volumes on society's double standards and stereotyping the nice guys/girls. I swear on my copy of Poetry for Cats this isn't sarcasm. Everyone complaining about being friend zoned and how society has made it okay to bash successful, aesthetically pleasing people without regard to any actual personality traits they may have. Write a book, please. Unless you aren't really up to writing about how society has affected us as a species which is entirely okay.

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    • finally, a girl on here gets it. if a 15 year old gets it, I think all of the 20+ and 30+ women should be able to get it also.

    • It really depends on one's personal experience and opinion. I find the fact that anyone would complain about the person they love not being with them, ridiculous. However, I am a rather piss poor excuse for a normal fifteen year old and as such cannot be the voice of every fifteen year old girl. I am but a fool who is wise beyond their years.

  • What if a girl really is nice and she's not 'boring'. She doesn't talk bad about the other 'guy studs' or call the other girls names. Also she doesn't need the plastic surgery because she already looks above average. Is she still... Bad?

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    • right, so what if a guy is nice and also not boring, unattractive and all the other stuff feminists are saying about nice guys on other takes? the whole point of this mytake is to see how aggravating it is to write an article about the reasons you're probably failing to get a partner when none of them actually apply in the real world. that's the reason I title this "satirical response": because it's a response to a mytake that was the exact same thing just with the genders reversed.

  • ugh this is not even funny

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  • Nice girls still get laid more than nice guys
    "Ugly" girls can still get laid easier than ugly guys
    So you were saying?

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    • "So you were saying?"

      Stop making stupid takes about reasons women don't like "nice guys" because they just as shit as and means about as little as this take I wrote (emphasis on SATIRICAL RESPONSE).

      Also, yeah nice girls and ugly girls get laid more than their counterpart... so what? They're still gonna have a hard time getting commitment: women are gatekeepers to sex, men are gatekeepers to marriage... geddit?

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    • 1. You said, "Nice girls still get laid more than nice guys" ... and where the heck did I " complain about women not liking "nice" guys ". Maybe if you'd bothered to you know... actually read, and check out the link at the top of the page, you'd have an idea about the sort of article this is take is a satirical response to. But alas you did not and you do not have an idea, so you are essentially speaking from total ignorance.
      2. If "every woman wants marriage" is an assumption, so are both of your statements in the original post. Any way, I did not say EVERY woman wants marriage. I said men are the gatekeepers to marriage, meaning that there is stronger demand for it from women than men. No, obviously not every woman wants marriage just like not every man wants sex.

      Anyway, you clearly did not understand what this take was about. I strongly urge you to re-read it before you respond to this comment with even more false assumptions, otherwise just don't bother.

    • thank you for confirming that women have it easier than men.

  • "deficits in social communication and interaction across multiple contexts, as well as restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour... or activities"

    I'm just gonna leave this here for you to think about ;)

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  • What's this take seriously XD

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  • I hate this take nobody is ugly or out of anybody'd league and don't have to have to have looks to be hot.

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    • Looks might be subjective but people definitely do have their own idea about league. But anyway, that's not the point.

      If you feel so strongly about this, you should criticise the ORIGINAL take, because she was the first one to relate the concept of league to nice guys. I was just doing a satire response because I'm so fed up of seeing takes like that.

    • women can't take what they dish out at guys.

  • Yeah, this failed.

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    • the main people that seem to not be understanding the satire here is women. guys get it because they know all too well about the "nice guy" bashing b. s.

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    • Uhhhh huuhhhhhh 😂

    • myTakeOwner ftw

  • Sorry but i didint understand nothing about this. You say nice girls are ugly? When men teel you that you are nice it means that you are ugly. A person that is nice is suppose to be ugly? Im beautiful woman and i am very nice to people because its the education that my parents give to me. I see a lot o ugly girls that are arrogant and think they are beautiful like a princess. I dont understand what youa re talking about. You take the extremes.

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    • "You say nice girls are ugly?"

      Not at all, but when women talk about nice guys such as in takes as the ones I linked, they always say that nice guys don't get women because they are unattractive and then they moan about the fact they don't get girlfriends, saying "nice guys finish last". So, you see the generalisations exist just about men, I'm trying to show these women that make takes and videos about nice guys how annoying it is.

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    • no...

      "nice" has different meanings, it depends on the context.

      for example, if you say "you look nice", then yes that means that the person is physically attractive.

      if we say a person has a nice personality, typically we mean that they are a good person - genuine, sweet, etc.

      but there is another kind of "nice" - that is where somebody does favours for people and thinks that they are a "nice" person. but they also expect things in return for them.

      in dating, when women talk about "nice" guy, they are talking about a guy that is "nice" to women but expects things in return (sex). so you see, that kind of guy is not so "nice".

      but now men are complaining because they say when we do nice things for women, sometimes we mean it and don't expect anything in return.

      also, not every nice guy is an ugly guy that tries to make up for being ugly by being "nice" to get sex.

      lots of guys are genuinely nice and attractive so people should quit with the stereotypes.

    • ok yes i understand. I have guy that once told me you are weird but very nice and i was like ( i wanna to punch his face). Here in uk a lot of people that that thing to call you darling or dear and i think its little bit annoying and fake becaus ein some situations people dont like you but have that thing. In my country they dont do that. My boyfriend tell me that im too nice to people and i notice that some guys think im easy or something. They mistaken my sympathy with other things.

  • I think that when dating you have to put your best foot forward. Look after yourself, workout, look fashionable etc. but you can still be well mannered and kind!

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    • yes, it's true niceness is not sufficient but it is (or should be) necessary.

      the thing is - and this is part of the reason, I think, that men complain about this whole thing more so than women. average girls tend to do better on the whole than average guys. it's a question of hypergamy, specifically female hypergamy. now in a non-satirical context, I'm not saying women date specifically for looks. quite the opposite actually. in one of my best takes on this site (but one of the takes that coincidentally received the least attention), I explained the high-status traits women look for in men and yes, they have nothing to do with niceness, but everything to do with dominance, charisma and general bad-boy alpha male stuff. In this same take, my criticism of female dating behaviour is that (a) women make out like they are so virtuous and non-superficial because they are oriented towards the intrinsic qualities of a man (which might not actually be that great) ...

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    • yes - but as long as you're not expecting the guy to be the provider or some traditionalist bullshit ("guys have to pay for the date", "guys must be the bread winner", etc., etc.)

    • I own my own business, and love doing so. I also love it when a guy will pull out my chair, or 'treat' me to dinner. It makes me feel special. ( just as I would treat him to football tickets or another treat he would like). It's just apart of being in a relationship. Appreciating each other, and showing that appreciation by making them feel special some in a while.

  • Nice try at humor but it falls a little flat. That being said I'm just a morman girl so I wouldn't know humor if it smacked me in the butt it sounds like.

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  • This was a fail attempt

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  • I guess because of all these generalizations about nice girls I should become a bitch now :P

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  • No female calls her self a nice guy thats a man thing. This was a fail.

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    • 1. Most guys don't either, hence why you see more takes by women explaining what is wrong with nice guys and that ridiculous jenna marbles video on the internet.
      2. ok, so maybe girls don't come out directly and say I'm a "nice girl" but they do definitely say the things listed under 3. --> 'things many "nice girls" say to men'
      3. they also engage in more than a few of the behaviour traits
      4. we can see how it is equally as ridiculous to stereotype "nice guys" as boring, unintelligent and unattractive as it is to say all the same things about "nice girls". obviously there are going to be "nice girls" that don't have the same traits.

    • Well duh. "No female calls her self a nice guy because that's a man thing." Last time I checked females usually don't consider themselves to be guys. Rather they prefer to be considered ladies or gals. But maybe that's all changed very recently and I'm just finding out about it. If so thanks for filling me in.

  • i dont know a single girl who labels herself as a "nice girl". that is the difference. unattractive females that have nothing going for them dont go around claiming that they're nice girls. however, guys who are in the same boat CONSTANTLY do so this take was completely pointless.

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    • 1. this take was satire

      2. thats because the way men and women date is different. women wait men advertise so of course a nice guy whether he actually is or not says he is.

      3. I've seen some girls call themselves nice girls but they are usually fat.

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    • @Kriel55. You're being too kind, it was definitely corny which is my style. And I'm in agreeance with you on that point. I don't think anyone should feel entitled to anything solely because they are nice. Nice is a good quality to have but most people who are truly nice don't even realize it. They don't advertise themselves at such and have lots of other positive qualities. At the same time I do think the nice guy in general does get hammered a bit too much on his flaws. Sure he's not ideal by any means but we are all human and all have flaws. Seeing the female equivalent to this, at least to me was kinda funny, because I haven't seen it really anywhere. I didn't take this too seriously. In regards to your last comment I'd definitely say there is an in-between. I think there are a good amount of genuinely good guys out there who are at times a bit discouraged about being single and can sometimes be a bit frustrated. Which is quite natural. There are also women who in the same boat.

    • Then also like you pointed out there are those guys who whine about being entitled to a girl because they are nice and in their mind owed a girl. And also the nice guys who get the girl and are genuinely good people. It's all a mixed bag.

What Guys Said 26

  • Lmaoooo nice take mate

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  • Just did a take recently. It explain why nice girls don't have a hate campaign against them but nice guys do.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a28827-nice-guy-nice-girl-fully-analyzed

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    • good take but you made one crucial mistake. the difference between the "nice guy" and "good guy" is not looks, it's status.

  • Really factual. I find like 95% of all these truthful. Good one here

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  • I don't get it... so are we talking about nice girls or "nice" girls?

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    • if you wanted to look at it that way then I suppose "nice" girls. thing is, it's not really meant to be viewed like this. I'm trying to show what it's like when you reverse the tables.

      forget about the whole dating thing for a moment, and let's say you're trying to get a decent job, because you don't want to be a milkman or restaurant waiter anymore. you want a job that matches your full potential and that allows you to realise your creative ambition. you are already fully qualified for the job, but when you go to the interviews you're just not as good as playing the game and spinning the words as the guy who beats you to the job every time and isn't actually as qualified. you think this sucks, so you complain about it to your friends and family: after all, you've put your heart and soul into doing something meaningful and productive, you've worked hard to get your job, but employers just don't see your talent because you don't have the same kind of interview savvy.

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    • be sure to tag me in it. i want to read that.

  • Damn, spitt'n the hard facts though.

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  • A girl who can bake is awesome.

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  • Gotta love the girl tears over this. Wow they love to dish it out but can't take it at all.

    Just shows you- do not take what women say seriously. They will say anything to APPEAR noble and great.

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  • man that was savade af.
    and i think this was yout best one till date. i even had to agree with the part of women putting all the blane on men part.(part 3) that is so true a actually see that irl. and point 4 is spot on as well. great take

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  • The difference is guys actually like nice girls. There are even several studies that confirm it.

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  • BWAHAHAHAHA, this is fucking hilarious. Good Take man!

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  • Todos estos mytakes a la orden del día! Woo woo

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  • The Princess Brigade is having all kinds of butthurt over this. It's lulzy.

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  • Lol if a girl is a bitch towards me then it's game over. Only a insecure faggot would chase after a chick that treats him like shit. I got options.. absolutely no reason to waste time on a bitch.

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  • lol Americans have a problem with the "victim mentality" don't they? I wonder if they even believe victims can exist...

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    • Right? I mean most people who are actual victims do not play that mentality nor put themselves in the position of being a victim (or @ least they do their best not to).

  • Very funny mytake, but totally true :D

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  • Wow this has struck a nerve with a lot of women on here lol.

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    • I know right? It wasn't even intended but in a satirical context.

  • My ex shares a few things that was in this post she even give up on me during our forced break upnas soon as a guy with a car come along. Pss am doing a lot better in life then i was 1 year ago besides the fact my house burned down lol

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  • Way to pessimistic man. You also left out the best thingd Nice girls at the end.

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  • You should be a comedian with that xD

    Also, what every "nice girl' would say (you have missed that btw) is "I don't care how much money he has.". All too often I see that.

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  • Jeez, if anyone was butthurt, it was the guy who spent way too much time making this.

    Did the nice guy thing hit a little too close to home, sir?

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    • Don't see how you are interpreting this guy as being butthurt. He was doing the whole thing as a satirical joke. Its pretty obvious. Out of all the completely unoriginal bad boy/ nice guy articles that pointlessly flood the internet these days and are quite honestly garbage that pollutes peoples brains at least this is something new and pokes fun at it. Or does seeing those types of articles being poked fun at make you butthurt?

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