Why Do We Go For The Wrong Types Of People?

To me it seems that many love songs are about the same type.

Two types, actually.

For guys, the type of girl they usually sing about typically has common characteristics:

Uniqueness, strength, independence, reluctance to just be "like all the others", beauty, and intelligence.

For girls, the type of guy they usually sing about typically has these common characteristics:

Aloofness, mystery, intelligence, a "bad boy" attitude, good looks, vulnerability, and kindness.

What I find so interesting about this (and correct me if I'm wrong) is that everybody seems to want the same thing. A girl wants a bad-boy that is good to her and a guy wants a good-girl that is bad with him.

Isn't that kind of stupid though? When you think about it?

For girls, they always go for the bad-guy, the cool one, the don't-let-your-mom-catch-you-with-him, guy because they're thinking that he will turn out to be sweet or different or they can turn him into a good guy. And for some bizarre as f*ck reason, we turn down the good guys. Maybe it's a b*tchy part of us that thinks the good guy will always be there when we need him or that he just won't be as passionate and exciting as the bad boy.

Whatever it is, it's f*cking stupid. If a guy is genuinely respectful and kind to you, with no ulterior motives other than to make you happy, hold on to him tighter than a lock-jawed pitbull because if you treat him like he's second best, eventually he'll just stop trying.

Now, back to the bad boy, I hate to go against the whole "don't judge a book by it's cover" phrase, but the thing is is that you can also look at it this way: if you pick up a lemon, in the hopes of it tasting like a peach, there's a good chance you're going to end up with a sour taste in your mouth. And some disappointment.

Also, you can't turn a lemon into a peach.


Onto guys, you're exactly the same. But reversed. All of you are looking for that perfect girl; the tattoo-less, nice, kind, caring, unassuming, Barbie, dream girl with all of the innocence in the world. But then again, 99% of the time you meet this type of girl, you end up trying to turn her into the one who sleeps with you the first time you hang out. You try to make her the bad girl. When she doesn't want to be, you call her a tease. And when she becomes the bad girl, to make you happy, you don't want her anymore. You make her feel like it's her fault.

And you don't want her anymore because she isn't the good girl anymore.

Why on Earth you do this, I will never understand.

A metaphor for it you ask? (you probably don't care, but I'll give you one anyway) Well this is more along the lines of picking up mustard in the hopes of it tasting like Sriracha sauce. In the end you just have really crappy Mexican food.

Why I'm explaining this is that it's sad that so many songs are about wanting these types of people:
The Nice Bad Boy and The Unadulterated Bad-Girl Barbie. Honestly? They don't exist. With people, you usually get what is there in the first place: either a nice guy or a bad guy, a nice girl or a bad girl. So stop expecting lemons to taste like peaches and mustard to taste like Sriracha.

A nice girl will always have the values of a nice girl and a bad boy will always have the attitude of a bad boy.

So, if it looks like a lemon, expect it to taste like a f*cking lemon.


Join the discussion



What Guys Said 6

  • 3mo

    That's an interesting picking up the lines you did.
    That proves something and it's not really good news either.
    Good news is you picked up between the lines the hidden message and shared it with us.
    The bad news is it's true what you told us and plebs keep going like that.
    To make myself clear: Yes, I do expect lemons to taste like lemons and I do with lemons what I can do with lemons (lemonade, lemon cake...)
    Good take!

  • 3mo

    The wrong type of guys give you the tingles... the right type of guy send you to sleep... you are slaves to emotion... not logic... so you end up with the rotten eggs.

  • 3mo

    I've realized I actually go for the right kind of women. It's me that's the problem.

  • 3mo

    An interesting mytake to read, thanks for the article OP. :)

    People just don't seem to seek the one who complements their nature.

  • 3mo

    You speak against guys trying to sexually awaken innocent good girls, but, isn't that what most girls these days fantasize about anyway?

    Bloodline: Reckoning
    50 Shades of Grey
    A shit ton of sexual fanfiction aimed at girls

    They all share the theme of a very sexual guy becoming passionately attracted to the challenge of pulling an innocent girl out of her shell. And you know what I notice? Stories like that tend to be extremely popular with their female audiences.

    • 3mo

      video games where people shoot each other are popular amongst guys but i dont think they want to get shot at.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      @anonman32 Yes of course people need to be careful but it's the same with almost everything. There is also an increased danger for young people that have not developed their brain enough to know the difference between reality and virtual reality.

      Yes I am aware of hedonism.

    • 3mo

      @Truthatanycost thats good that you are aware of it.

  • 3mo

    I whole heartedly agree with this take. I like this employees that's been a botch to me and am not sure why I like her so much. She's not my type, I hate her, do t lust after her as in she's on my mind but I wouldn't mind going out with her. I really would never want sleep with... Ugggh!! I would but I wouldn't. Gosh I hate it. But I have self control and it's important. I also do like nice, submissive, shy girls a lot. They are the one for me... But my lust for woman is opposite. Freak man!!


What Girls Said 2

  • 3mo

    bad guys fall for good girls
    good girls fall for good guys
    good guys fall for bad girls
    bad girls fall for bad guys
    but bad guys fall for good girls :D so we are all wrong for each other

  • 3mo

    I have always been the type of girl that likes the shy guy more than the bad boy.
    Mainly because it's such a turn on when the presumed "quiet guy" actually turns out to be quite the loud one.
    It's exciting to see him get all loud about something, when he's usually not. So I guess in my case, I like to turn the good boy in a bad boy.
    Sadly for me tho, I've always gotten out those situations hurt. So as to why we do this, I guess it just seems more exciting to be the reason why someone thinks a certain way for the first time