11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man

1. He Can’t Fix Anything

Maybe it’s an old gender role, but men are expected to be reasonably handy. He needs to know how to change a tire, mount a towel rack or at the very least, put together an IKEA bookshelf without bursting into tears.

2. He’s Not Assertive

I'm a feminine woman and I love strong, powerful and assertive men. An assertive man is a sign of power, hence a sign of fertility, wealth, and strength, things every woman wants in a partner.

3. He’s Passive-Aggressive

Instead of being upfront and honest with you when you’ve pissed him off or hurt his feelings, he just shuts down or finds subtle ways to make your life difficult. Screw that guy. He’s a big baby.

4. He Tries To “Win” Arguments With You

It’s been said many times that arguing in relationships is a good thing — it proves you’re both invested. But arguments are about finding a middle ground, not about coming out on top. And a grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman, anyway lmao.

5. He Worries Too Much About What Other People Think

A man doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him as long as he believes in what he’s doing. Confidence (not arrogance) comes with maturity.

6. He’s Not Interested In Self-Improvement

And I don’t mean self-help. I’m talking about learning new skills, becoming more invested in current affairs, reading more… that sort of thing. If he thought he was finished gaining any kind of knowledge when he graduated from school, he’s still got a lot to learn.

7. The Thing He Likes Most About You Is Your Looks

Obviously, physical attraction is important, but if you’ve been together awhile and your hotness is still your number one draw, this is a relationship with little hope for success. A man needs to connect with his partner on numerous levels. A boy just wants to bang a hot chick.

8. He Is Arrogant

I don't care if you're the richest, smartest and the most good looking guy on the planet!!! If you aren't a humble person, your accomplishments become completely worthless.

9. He Can’t Handle Conflict

Running away from or avoiding problems is one of the most childish things a guy can do. A man deals with shit, even if it means getting punched in the face by some douche at the bar or getting screamed at by your girlfriend.

10. He Lacks Respect For Other Women Figures

Does he respect his mother, sister, and elders? If not you should move right along.

11. He Whines A Lot

Nobody wants to date a complete pessimist.


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What Guys Said 76

  • And remember everyone this 17 year old little girl believes its okay for women to do all these other things, but a man can't. Move along little girl and focus on school.

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  • So apparently what we've learned today is:

    1.) men utilize power accumulated in their penises to fix IKEA tables, and females are magically incapable of helping if need be because they're too busy being independently reliant on men to build their tables for them

    2.) feminine women need a men to be wealthy

    4.) women argue using their vaginas, and their vaginas are always right

    9.) in order to be a man, apparently you have to get punched in the face in bars. Additionally, women get a free pass to emotionally abuse you ("scream at you") just because you have a penis and they don't.

    10.) vaginas entitles females to respect no matter what they do other than that

    3 5 6 7 and a bit of 11 apply to both sexes.

    I think it's funny how you portray emotional abuse by your girlfriend as a normal thing that "men" should just endure so that you don't have to have the responsibility of being a decent person

    Because you know, vagina

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    • Them upvotes bro. Isn't that telling something?
      Because it sure does indicate something, especially not a single female has upvoted you so far and you're leading here with 14 upvotes!

      You are liberating and I like that :)

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  • I'll agree with everything except 4# all guys try to win fights, plus women are unnaturally good at fighting so it makes it better when we win.

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  • I love white dates

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  • You're only 17 ffs

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  • Well the points you raised are great ones.. but I do wear diapers and rubber pants due to a bad fall... but I still date and believe me the women that go out with me know they have a man on their hands and and not a little boy.. but some will think I am a boy because of wearing those garments I guess

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  • Sorry to inform you that most men stay like that till the day they die. We don't "grow out" of most of those things.

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  • I totally expected to see "he has a small dick" on here.

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  • Awsome job! Not so sure about #1, that isn't fair... not all males are good mechanically.

    12. He has a job or the confidence and drive to get one.

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  • The sectors are way better to hell with this bitch.

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  • are you sure the guy portrayed above is not actually a woman?

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  • Most of the things on this list are very shallow. They have nothing to do with whether or not a guy is mature.

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  • Lol change the pronouns around and it sounds like my ex to a T (except #7)! Now I don't really care if my woman can't fix anything or isn't very assertive, but all the rest on there yea it doesn't make for a very good woman...

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  • ^^^One sign a woman wrote something defining something she knows nothing about^^^

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  • So you think he should be assertive and not passive aggressive, but also not try to win arguments with women and "deal with" conflict by sticking around?

    At make your take consistent with itself before you write it...

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  • can't really say I agree, with some points sure. But like nr 2 for example to me, shows more that someone is still just a boy whos insesucre about himself and has to overcompensate that way and funny thing, you have to be arrogant really to be that way, which conflicts with nr 8. And yeah being assertive, I dont see how you are humble.

    An seriously is not hard to win an argument against a woman. Are a lot of stupid people of both genders naturally, so anyone with a brain would rather find it easy to win them in general, regardless of the sex.

    But either way, Mesonfielde summed it up nicely anyway. So I dont have to add more.

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  • Point no 5.
    So if he is excessively hairy he should not worry about what other people esp the girls feel about it?

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  • you dont argue with women, you tell them how its going to be and stop listening to them.

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  • Wow, this take is shit. I can't really add anything to what @Mesonfielde said.

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  • 17 year old girl trying to define what a man is. Wow.

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What Girls Said 31

  • I agree with the emotional parts. If he's always emotional and especially angry, you've got a potentially abusive guy on your hands. Every story I've heard where the woman was abused, the guy was always a huge gigantic toddler who had tantrums. I don't really agree with the rest or with the reasons why, but if he's emotional then watch out for instability! So true. lots of people on here are used to sexism debates... they don't really put a lot into different contexts, like real life.

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    • And I hate how people say you're 17 so this post is stupid. And some of them are younger than you lol, so I don't know how that makes sense. But although I don't agree with most of this, IRL I wish the women I've known who had abusive bfs thought like this, because maybe they would have avoided him. Standards might be sexist sometimes but that doesn't mean they're worse than drama or dating an immature guy.

  • Good points though it really depends on the guy. I don't agree with #1, though. Not being able to fix things has nothing to do with being a man.

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  • I like this, all dem betas be cryin' doe

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  • Oh yay, more sexism. I didn't expect that from G@G. Have your preferences for men, but don't go so far as to try and define what men are or aren't; they did that shit to us back in the day, and we didn't appreciate it.

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  • excellent take!! i can't stand arrogant people

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  • Hahahaha Lawd! Soooooo true! You couldn't have written it better. =)

    media.giphy.com/media/ObfxaAyZgFyN2/giphy.gif

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  • Dang some the guys I use to date were boys then but then some actually were just assholes and the rest were immature

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  • Completely agree. I'm just looking at the boys in the comments who are getting butthurt. LOL grow a bare and accept that everything she listed is true.

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    • lol I spelled a word wrong.

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    • Y'all need to shut up. You sound ridiculously stupid. You literally have ZERO life experience. You just started to learn to drive a damn car. You have yet to enter the "real" world; you're still living in your fairytale make-believe fantasies that amount to black mass I just flushed.

    • @schnipdip You're only 22. I've known teens way more mature than lots of adults. All life experience means is that you live life. it doesn't mean you know anything, QED the adults in my family.

  • Are you saying these behaviors are appropriate for an adult s long as that adult is not male?

    Im just not sure why this is directed at Men. This seems like basic growing p stuff people have to deal with or choose not to but end up making really shitty partners friends employees etc.

    I dont have a problem with the points except i dont see how they should be limited to mean. im sure grown men -or women- would not want these traits in a grown woman.

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  • I thought my ex boyfriend, was a man child. I guess this article proves he was a man then. Who would have guessed... Guess you see how good you have it until it disappears. Appreciate it if you have something good, and try not it let it go away.

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  • Ther's no general definition of a "man"... A real man is simply someone who's got your back and will be there for you when things get tough. It's someone you can count on. Just like a real woman (not a girl) is the same thing for guys.

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  • Although I do agree with a few points..(5, 8, 9, 10) I don't like this annoying traits in men.. but I must say that you yourself are a teenager.. you are not mature enough to decide what a mature man is and what he's not..

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  • I think integrity is important. Is he a good person? Is he kind? Is his character strong? Is he so secure in himself that he doesn't have to sink to other people's level?

    This list has a lot of traits that any douche bag can fulfill. Only a man with good character will be willing to grow as a person, respect women, and be willing to face adversity with humility and confidence.

    And some men are passive because they'd rather not argue about petty things—they don't really care, so why not let the woman be happy?

    I want to marry a strong man, but I don't want his strength to be overwhelming; he needs to know how to be gentle, and assert things with logic, not force.

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  • I just don't agree.

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  • This list is so arbitrary and dumb. It's so sexist and spoiled. Not to mention the writer of this is 17. What business does she have determining what is and isn't a "real man"? If you want to be a bitch that's on you but you can't go to men and say, hey men, if you don't like me being a bitch then you aren't a real man. :) Sorry I don't make the rules. :)

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  • This is a good take. Don't mind all the bitter and butthurt men on here. I only saw 3 or 4 guys that took this positively which is good on them.

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  • 1&2 really? ... other than than that, you maybe have a point to some degree.

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  • These mean can't take it.

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  • Good list. Here's my take on a few items...

    1.) I agree, but I also think girls should be have skills, too. There are too many girls today who refuse to cook or do anything domestic, like they believe it's some kind of slavery.

    2.) I totally agree with this one. Assertive men are the only kind I want. If you want me, come and get me. The end.

    4.) Most guys will try to win arguments. The only thing I don't like is when they resort to pettiness.

    5.) Yes and no. If a guy doesn't care what anyone thinks, that will include you, so be careful about this one.

    6.) YES. I see too many guys who whine about not getting girls, but yet these same guys put zero effort into improving themselves. It's like, hey, those guys who spend 10 hours a week in the gym building muscle have no trouble getting girls, so step it up, guys.

    8.) Agree. Some cockiness is good, but arrogance is a total turn-off.

    9.) I would never demand that a guy get knocked out to prove something to me, but it is good to settle arguments.

    11.) Yes, that's very unattractive. Whining is unattractive because it shows that he's powerless. Not sexy.

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  • I dated a boy before. You know what he did? He ended up emotionally abusing me until the point that I wanted to kill myself.

    Some of the comments from the guys are ridiculous. Of none of this applies to you then there is no reason to get mad. 😒

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    • IKR? people on here get offended easy, but if he's a jerk, then he'll be a terrible boyfriend.

    • @SovereignessofVamps exactly someone gets it

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