11 Signs You’re Dating A Boy, Not A Man

[sparkly-crystal]

1. He Can’t Fix Anything

Maybe it’s an old gender role, but men are expected to be reasonably handy. He needs to know how to change a tire, mount a towel rack or at the very least, put together an IKEA bookshelf without bursting into tears.

2. He’s Not Assertive

I'm a feminine woman and I love strong, powerful and assertive men. An assertive man is a sign of power, hence a sign of fertility, wealth, and strength, things every woman wants in a partner.

3. He’s Passive-Aggressive

Instead of being upfront and honest with you when you’ve pissed him off or hurt his feelings, he just shuts down or finds subtle ways to make your life difficult. Screw that guy. He’s a big baby.

4. He Tries To “Win” Arguments With You

It’s been said many times that arguing in relationships is a good thing — it proves you’re both invested. But arguments are about finding a middle ground, not about coming out on top. And a grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman, anyway lmao.

5. He Worries Too Much About What Other People Think

A man doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him as long as he believes in what he’s doing. Confidence (not arrogance) comes with maturity.

6. He’s Not Interested In Self-Improvement

And I don’t mean self-help. I’m talking about learning new skills, becoming more invested in current affairs, reading more… that sort of thing. If he thought he was finished gaining any kind of knowledge when he graduated from school, he’s still got a lot to learn.

7. The Thing He Likes Most About You Is Your Looks

Obviously, physical attraction is important, but if you’ve been together awhile and your hotness is still your number one draw, this is a relationship with little hope for success. A man needs to connect with his partner on numerous levels. A boy just wants to bang a hot chick.

8. He Is Arrogant

I don't care if you're the richest, smartest and the most good looking guy on the planet!!! If you aren't a humble person, your accomplishments become completely worthless.

9. He Can’t Handle Conflict

Running away from or avoiding problems is one of the most childish things a guy can do. A man deals with shit, even if it means getting punched in the face by some douche at the bar or getting screamed at by your girlfriend.

10. He Lacks Respect For Other Women Figures

Does he respect his mother, sister, and elders? If not you should move right along.

11. He Whines A Lot

Nobody wants to date a complete pessimist.

[Mesonfielde]

So apparently what we've learned today is:

1.) men utilize power accumulated in their penises to fix IKEA tables, and females are magically incapable of helping if need be because they're too busy being independently reliant on men to build their tables for them

2.) feminine women need a men to be wealthy

4.) women argue using their vaginas, and their vaginas are always right

9.) in order to be a man, apparently you have to get punched in the face in bars. Additionally, women get a free pass to emotionally abuse you ("scream at you") just because you have a penis and they don't.

10.) vaginas entitles females to respect no matter what they do other than that

3 5 6 7 and a bit of 11 apply to both sexes.

I think it's funny how you portray emotional abuse by your girlfriend as a normal thing that "men" should just endure so that you don't have to have the responsibility of being a decent person

Because you know, vagina

[Unit1]

Them upvotes bro. Isn't that telling something?
Because it sure does indicate something, especially not a single female has upvoted you so far and you're leading here with 14 upvotes!

You are liberating and I like that :)

[LuckyLucka]

It is pretty stupid to assume men should just go along with whatever makes them look good for women without being themselves. Hell, I'll be handy if I really need something done.

[Unit1]

@LuckyLucka Absolutely agreed! That only makes men look desperate and moronic (not being themselves and go along with making them look good for women).

[samhradh_leannan]

I agree that guys should be somewhat handy- but girls should be too. It's an important life skill, and all adults should be able to deal with those tasks. What are you going to do, hire someone to hang every painting and assemble every bookshelf? That's just impractical. It's a pretty major handicap for ANYONE to be incapable of doing that stuff.

[Napoli]

I don't think she actually means being punched makes you a man ( it takes more to walk away from someone who's looking for a fight for the sake of it ) I think she means he'll stay and stand up for what he believes in, even if it means... etc etc.
I'm not sure if agree about it making someone a "man" or not, but I think that's what she is saying.

[Mesonfielde]

I must thank @SnatchFinderGeneral for linking me here in the first place :)

[Dog19]

Lol this is funny, makes me want to cry

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

You're welcome, lad :)

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Great opinion by the way. 10/10

[93stepsawayfromhome]

*claps*

[Panay]

@samhradh_leannan ^^true story

[RJGraveyTrain]

Oh yay, more sexism. I didn't expect that from G@G. Have your preferences for men, but don't go so far as to try and define what men are or aren't; they did that shit to us back in the day, and we didn't appreciate it.

[ElissaDido]

I like this, all dem betas be cryin' doe

[TayTay21]

Good list. Here's my take on a few items...

1.) I agree, but I also think girls should be have skills, too. There are too many girls today who refuse to cook or do anything domestic, like they believe it's some kind of slavery.

2.) I totally agree with this one. Assertive men are the only kind I want. If you want me, come and get me. The end.

4.) Most guys will try to win arguments. The only thing I don't like is when they resort to pettiness.

5.) Yes and no. If a guy doesn't care what anyone thinks, that will include you, so be careful about this one.

6.) YES. I see too many guys who whine about not getting girls, but yet these same guys put zero effort into improving themselves. It's like, hey, those guys who spend 10 hours a week in the gym building muscle have no trouble getting girls, so step it up, guys.

8.) Agree. Some cockiness is good, but arrogance is a total turn-off.

9.) I would never demand that a guy get knocked out to prove something to me, but it is good to settle arguments.

11.) Yes, that's very unattractive. Whining is unattractive because it shows that he's powerless. Not sexy.

[hellionthesage]

The first one is stupid. So he isn't a real man if he functions in all capacities except that he can't use tools to fix things around the house? So a man that is a doctor isn't a real man if he can't put your table together? Seems, a stupid priority especially in this day and age. I agree that men should be assertive but then their is a difference between him being assertive and him wanting to do what you want him to. ie assertive when he cares to be not when you want it. I would also agree about the passive aggressiveness, however I find that this is a trait most commonly found in girls ie it is applicable, more so to women. Of course he is going to try to win an argument. Why wouldn't he? Because you have a vagina he is just going to acquiesce? Thats not what a real man would do, he would stand by his convictions. Besides which arguing isn't about winning, its about facts, if he is stating a truth he has a far greater obligation to adhere to that then pretend to be wrong because you don't have the proverbial balls to handle being proven wrong. 5,6,7,8 are applicable to every one. As for conflict, yes I think a man should be able to hadle it however choosing to get punched in the face is stupid. Theirs a time and place, its a measure of risk and reward so pushing for conflict where it isn't needed or escalating it when its not necessary is a sign of impuslive irrational emotion ie behavior befiting a child not a man. And again you state how he should be assertive and strong yet then you yet again demand that he be a bitch when it comes to his girlfriend?(admitting he is wrong to give the woman what she wants (ie ego stroked) and to allow her to abuse him simply because she has a vagina and he doesn't) A real man wouldn't tolerate disrepsepct from a woman or a man, but especially not a woman who is dependent on him, thats what children and victims do. In short your take is contradictory and sexist. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

So "real" men are supposed to be completely absolved of all 11 issues above? I'm a hard working man in my mid 30s, I make a 6 digit income and I keep myself in shape. I volunteer and try to help other people. I'm a "nice guy" but I know how to defend myself (former pro fighter) if I have no choice. However I'm not that handy at fixing shit (I can do it but it takes time), I was raised with by domineering mother who I had to create boundaries with, I sometimes get frustrated at life and complain, I'm don't like conflict but I realize it's sometimes necessary, there are times I'm not in the mood to be assertive... etc.

Despite all this I take care of myself and I take care of my girlfriend. I'm sure the author of this take is a HUGE HYPROCRITE in real life with her fault list that is mile long but she at that same time is overly picky and think she deserves some sort of superman.

Go ahead. Keep looking for problems in men, keep rejecting them, keep complaining and keep yourself miserable.

[Nothanks700]

1. Who gives a shit? Call someone to fix it. There are more efficient uses of ones time. And it is sexist to suggest because I'm a man I should be able to fix things.

2. Assertive or confident? Confidence probably shows growth in maturity. Assertiveness can mean a lot of things, some of them actually detrimental to success.

3. Agreed- again, sign of maturity

4. Agreed. Also being a mature man or woman means you shouldn't always try to be right. Your statement "there's no way to win an argument with a woman" shows your lack of maturity.

5. True to an extent. You do have to care to some extent or you aren't going to get anywhere in life, saying that's not the truth shows a naïveté toward the world.

6. True, and again, a reflection of maturity. Although it's also just a personality trait. Some people just want to relax, there's nothing wrong with that.

7. Agreed

8. Agreed

9. If you can deal with conflict correctly, you won't let it escalate to the point of being punched. That said, I agree.

10. True

11. Also true

[Kylesar]

#4 was already pushing it, but #9 made this entire take fall apart, mostly because how, together, it paints women as incredibly emotionally empathetic and emotionally abusive towards men, and it reinforces the notion that, when it comes to women, "being a man" means "being a doormat," yet not being one at the same time

"A man deals with shit, even if it means getting punched in the face by some douche at the bar."
Sorry, but I'm not getting into a fight at a bar, getting thrown out and probably getting arrested. If that's what it takes to be a man, then I'll gladly stay a boy. I have nothing to prove

Now on to the main point
"A man deals with shit... or getting screamed at by your girlfriend."
"A grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman."

When you put #4 and #9 together, it basically says she can bitch and nag all she wants, and you should stand there and take it "like a man." If you try to counter, you're a boy. If you leave, you're a boy. They contradict and correlate at the same time.

Sorry, but I'm not dealing with an emotionally abusive bitch. If you want to scream, I'll literally laugh and walk away and we'll talk when you can act like an adult. Having a vagina doesn't mean I'll just let you scream at me. If that makes me a boy, I don't want to date someone who thinks putting up with that shit makes me a man

[Anonymous]

We hate it when things are going well, especially if they continue to go well for long periods of time. We know down deep that we are fucked-up and not worthy of anything that is truly good. So when things are going well in a relationship, we eventually sabotage it. We just can’t help ourselves in this regard.
We could have the greatest, most handsome, most well-hung husband in the world—a one-of-a-kind man who makes all of our girlfriends jealous; we could have the greatest children in the world, who are beautiful, well-behaved and ambitious; we could have the most enviable career imaginable; we could have all of the money and prestige and the truly good things in life, and we could repeatedly tell ourselves over and over, and believe, on the surface, that we would never cheat on our husbands. But down deep we know that it’s a lie. Because one day, we could walk into a grocery store, and some bad boy could whisper just the right combination of words in our ear, and the next thing you know, we’re at the Motel 6 getting it in the ass. That’s just how we are, and any woman—especially a hot woman—who says otherwise, is a liar.

[Philosopher_Edge]

Then you wonder why men won't trust you.

[Mesonfielde]

No, I think that applies only to you, anon

[Philosopher_Edge]

@Mesonfielde Yep.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Philosopher_Edge @Mesonfielde this obviously isn't a woman lmaooo

[Philosopher_Edge]

@redeyemindtricks ha ha ha You're probably right.

[chc0009]

I'm definitely a man, too bad most women don't want me.

1. I love fixing things. Even if I can't, I'll try it anyways.
2. I can be quite assertive, due to my stubbornness.
3. I'm not passive-aggressive, if I don't like it, I'll show it.
4. I have my differences, but if I have to compromise, I will.
5. I do worry about what other people think, but I don't let it bother me too much. Like some people laugh at me for dressing like a goth, but I just don't fucking care.
6. I LOVE self-improvement.
7. Not just looks to me. She has to care for me because if she doesn't, I will end the relationship right there. I've had several fake friends, so I will not tolerate any more bullshit.
8. I'm mostly a silent, humble, and respectful person. Too bad that doesn't really attract women, since a lot of them prefer the cocky, fiery, and light-hearted douchebags.
9. I used to not want to handle conflict, but if it comes up, I will not hesitate. If a douche wants to throw down, then I will and most likely win, since I'm a black belt in taekwondo.
10. I admit that I used to whine a lot. But now, I'm the type of man who doesn't like to tell his problems, unless the person wants to know.

Based on this, I'd be a proper man for women, but too bad most of them don't want to give me chance.

[chc0009]

Also forgot 10. I do respect several woman figures. My mother, my sister, and the elderly. And, as an aspiring cyber security professional, my favorite woman figure in history goes by the name of Ada Lovelace. She was the world's first computer programmer and the modern computer wouldn't exist if it hadn't been for her.

[99percentangel]

Completely agree. I'm just looking at the boys in the comments who are getting butthurt. LOL grow a bare and accept that everything she listed is true.

[99percentangel]

lol I spelled a word wrong.

[sparkly-crystal]

Haha thanks. It's blatantly obvious that most guys here don't get laid.

[awesomexljr]

No, I don't think it's true at all. It's class A sexism. Plus this girl is 17 trying to define what men are. She's not a woman. Not every man is gonna fit the Macho Manly Man box and guess what that is a-okay. No one wants to get punched in the face and having your girlfriend "scream" at you, hey welcome to an abusive relationship. Don't fucking scream at your partner. She just wants to be a bitch and is defending herself by saying um if you can't put up with me being a bitch, you're not a real man :) okay sweaty?
Seriously this is one of the worst takes I've ever seen. It's chock full of sexism.

[99percentangel]

@awesomexljr you're saying her opinion is invalid because she's 17? Wtf you're 16 why should I believe you over her?

[Fearless_banana]

Her opinion is invalid because she a 17 year old female. And OP I don't know why you're virgin shaming when you talk about your praised virginity all day long on gag lol.

[schnipdip]

Y'all need to shut up. You sound ridiculously stupid. You literally have ZERO life experience. You just started to learn to drive a damn car. You have yet to enter the "real" world; you're still living in your fairytale make-believe fantasies that amount to black mass I just flushed.

[SovereignessofVamps]

@schnipdip You're only 22. I've known teens way more mature than lots of adults. All life experience means is that you live life. it doesn't mean you know anything, QED the adults in my family.

[watercolor_lions]

I think integrity is important. Is he a good person? Is he kind? Is his character strong? Is he so secure in himself that he doesn't have to sink to other people's level?

This list has a lot of traits that any douche bag can fulfill. Only a man with good character will be willing to grow as a person, respect women, and be willing to face adversity with humility and confidence.

And some men are passive because they'd rather not argue about petty things—they don't really care, so why not let the woman be happy?

I want to marry a strong man, but I don't want his strength to be overwhelming; he needs to know how to be gentle, and assert things with logic, not force.

[Tanuron]

can't really say I agree, with some points sure. But like nr 2 for example to me, shows more that someone is still just a boy whos insesucre about himself and has to overcompensate that way and funny thing, you have to be arrogant really to be that way, which conflicts with nr 8. And yeah being assertive, I dont see how you are humble.

An seriously is not hard to win an argument against a woman. Are a lot of stupid people of both genders naturally, so anyone with a brain would rather find it easy to win them in general, regardless of the sex.

But either way, Mesonfielde summed it up nicely anyway. So I dont have to add more.

[Ratiocinative]

This take is pretty generic, but I know so many guys who suffer from several of these on this list and it completely kills there chance at dating a decent woman, so basic and generic is what a lot of guys need. I would just add neediness and over-contacting to the list, though I supposed that could be included in number 5.

In fact, my previous best friend suffered from at least half of these and along with his neediness he was just unbearable to be around. He'd brag about dates he'd get, but they were always a new woman. Not much to brag about if they all reject you by the 2nd or 3rd date.

[HeWhoPonders]

I agree with everything accept for 1, 4, 7 and 10.

1: Being able to fix things is only a societal trait of manhood, not a biological one. Therefore it doesn't count.

4: A man doesn't compromise. If he isn't getting what he wants, he leaves. He'll still earn what he wants if need be, for example if you make a deal, but he won't give up his needs and wants for others.

7: Whether or not a man is a real man has nothing to do with what he looks for in a woman, unless he likes women to push him around in a relationship.

10: You can't be serious. While I agree that a man SHOULD respect women, it's not a requirement for the title. There are plenty of famous people that are known for disrespecting, and doing terrible things to females that women consider real men.

But yea, everything else I agree with.

[awesomexljr]

This list is so arbitrary and dumb. It's so sexist and spoiled. Not to mention the writer of this is 17. What business does she have determining what is and isn't a "real man"? If you want to be a bitch that's on you but you can't go to men and say, hey men, if you don't like me being a bitch then you aren't a real man. :) Sorry I don't make the rules. :)

[KittieCat]

1 - 5 and 9 are just... interesting lol. Anyways who are you to say what a man is? Last I checked you're just like me, barely out of the womb lmao.

[LaVilaine]

While I don't necessarily disagree with this clickbait list full of trite stereotypes, aren't you a minor? Shouldn't you be dating boys instead of men because it's illegal for you to be dating the latter? Though, you're Mormon so your only goal in life is to get married and have a billion babies.

[LaVilaine]

@HornyAndReady disgusting. She's a child.

[HornyAndReady]

She is 17 and I am 21.

That is the same age differencr between me and the girl I lost my virginity to.

[Fearless_banana]

A 17 year old girl is going to define to us all what a man really is?

[CheerGirl38139]

Point taken, but thats not really how I read what she wrote. She did make some good points... which are some of the reasons I had zero desire to date highschool BOYS a few short years ago. 🙋

Not much has changed in college tbh 😂😂😂

[Fearless_banana]

@CheerGirl38139 lol. She made some valid points but it's more along the lines as to what she attracted to. I just hate it when women try to define what real men are lol. None the less she is 17. I can understand those feels though lol. College girls seem to be the same man. Dunno if Chico state will change anything lol. Huge party school.

[CheerGirl38139]

Lol many college girls are fucktards too.

And the campus is crawling with tool bag dudes that think they got game and dont... at all...

[Fearless_banana]

@CheerGirl38139 Our mid twenties.. That will be the time. Well maybe me late twenties lol

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

@CheerGirl38139 you're going to be single for a long ass time. My dad is 60 and still acts like he's 7 😂

[Philosopher_Edge]

@Other_Tommy_Wiseau

Funny thing is, women will complain that men don't take enough responsibility. Then they want them to stop doing 'dangerous things' like riding motorbikes and doing things that are fun and exciting. THen later in life, they complain that men are boring and they don't do anything fun and exciting.

[Mesonfielde]

@CheerGirl38139 well of course, high school boys have no reasonable income and therefore don't have the "wealth" requirement defined in point #2

So of course they don't count as people

[CheerGirl38139]

@Mesonfielde way to sinegle something out that I didn't even mention to pick an argument bro. I didn't say I agree with every point she made did I? I said I didn't read what she wrote the same way that the OP did. And that she did make SOME good points.

You're an uber mod and that's your M. O?

[RJGraveyTrain]

Exactly this ^

[Mesonfielde]

@CheerGirl38139 I'm honestly not sure what I was going for here

[HornyAndReady]

@CheerGirl38139

Why can't you give me a chance?

[sparkly-crystal]

Yeah

[yucel_eden]

1, 2 and 7 is bullshit.

The rest is true.

1. A man who can't fix anything? I can so its not why im disagreeing, but this is irrelevant. Plenty of immature friends I have that can do it but also vice versa. This doesn't mean maturity.

2. Again, many men are very assertive towards everyone but their girlfriend. This is because they care about their loved one.

7. This doesn't change with age, this is related to wether he is a dick or not. It hasn't got anything to do with he's maturity. Why do you think older guys go for younger girls? is it because of "personality"? fuck no its looks. They are mature but just dicks.

Everything else I agree with. 4-5 and 8 I defnitely agree with though.

Number 4 I agree the most. I was forced to learn this quickly while dealing with women in a big company, but there are men who can go upto 40 and not learn this.

[LittleSally]

Hahahaha Lawd! Soooooo true! You couldn't have written it better. =)

media.giphy.com/media/ObfxaAyZgFyN2/giphy.gif

[poopedmypantsagain]

Well the points you raised are great ones.. but I do wear diapers and rubber pants due to a bad fall... but I still date and believe me the women that go out with me know they have a man on their hands and and not a little boy.. but some will think I am a boy because of wearing those garments I guess