Why Girls Shouldn't Have Sex At A Young Age

Look. I get it. You're around 15/16/17 and you meet this "amazing" guy. He's so sweet and caring and he makes everything seem so good. But the truth is is that he almost always has ulterior motives for his kindness, even if he doesn't realize it himself.

Most girls around these ages tend to get into relationships with older guys, which makes sense considering the average maturity difference, but on the other hand, the older the guy, the more experience he has convincing girls to do things you probably shouldn't be doing. And as a 16 year old girl, you're not going to have a lot of experience on how to handle it.

The inevitable is this: He's also young, but he'll have had only one goal for the longest time. He's going to have tried/achieved this before, whether you're aware of it or not, and if he hasn't then he'll be trying his damnedest to accomplish it. Even the boy who believe's he's a "good guy" will have these things running through the back of his mind because at this point in his life he believes it is the most important accomplishment in the world.

He's going to take advantage of you're innocence, unharmed trust, and inexperience. He going to be so so sweet and kind and considerate and you're going to be there thinking "wow, he cares about me so much". And he's going to do this until he has you thinking that he's special and he really does care. You're going to believe him. He's going to text you every morning and every night. He's going to tell you how beautiful you are, and how cool you are, and how much he likes spending time with you. He's going to tell you how different you are from all the other girls he's talked to.

He will earn your trust.

Then he's going to start telling you things like "I just care about you so much... I want to be close to you... in every way" and "I just think this will bring us closer together". And at first you'll probably be a bit stand offish and unsure. But he'll keep saying those things. Those little manipulative nudges. He's going to get even smoother at it and say things like "I don't want to pressure you at all, whenever you're ready" or "We can wait as long as you want, I just love you so much".

You'll be there thinking "he loves me and I love him. Maybe it will bring us closer together, maybe he'll love me even more." and "he's earned it for being such a good guy"

And you'll do it.

For that day, he will be nice... but not as nice. You'll feel something off. Something different about how he's acting. He'll take you home and tell you he's going to "text you later" and you'll believe him because how could he not? You gave him everything he wanted.

But then the next day you'll wake up and there won't be a good morning text.

And there won't be a text in the afternoon either.

You'll start coming up with excuses in your head. You'll come up with "rational" reasons that he's not texting you. Maybe he slept in today? Maybe his phone broke?

And then you might get a singular text here and there. Or worse, you'll text him first. He'll sound different. He won't be complimenting you anymore. He won't be telling you how beautiful you are. He won't be telling you how much he cares or how much closer he feels to you.

And the texts and talking will fade every day until you don't hear from him anymore.

And you'll be left wondering what it was you did wrong.

You'll start feeling worthless. You'll feel betrayed. But worst of all, you will feel used. And dirty. And like something was stolen from you that you can never have back.

But it never was anything you did wrong. It was all the things he managed to do right... with the wrong intentions.

Once you gave him what he considered the greatest accomplishment, he didn't need you anymore. He needed another girl to accomplish.

And he will pick another trusting, unharmed girl.

And it will happen all over again.

*In response to all of the wackjobs who don't seem to understand, this isn't an "all men are evil" statement. If you understood, you would know that what I was implying is that young girls are going to assume all guys want the same romance she does and she won't understand that as a teenage boy or young adult (early twenties) you're most of the time only going to want sex. It's common knowledge.

A young girl is going to mistake sexual advances for romance a good amount of the time and regret what happens afterwards, because she didn't know any better.

And to all of the females who don't understand. this isn't "SHE'S SAYING ALL WOMEN ARE NAIVE AND STUPID HOW DARE SHE", this is saying that teenage girls aren't going to know any better.

You should all understand that you sound so immature. "OMG EVIL FEMINIST" "HOW COULD SHE MAKE MEN LOOK LIKE THE BAD ONES" "HOW DARE SHE CALL US OUT ON PRIMARILY WANTING SEX"

This isn't a post directed at you males at all, so why the f*ck are you here acting like a bunch of children on a female sexual-abstinence oriented post?

Sit down and grab a glass of water people. You need to learn to stop taking offense to non-offensive things.


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What Guys Said 62

  • In short men are pieces of shit right? This is bullshit. I couldn't even get past the first paragraph. The fact is you shouldn't have sex at a young age because their are negative consequences and it has nothing to do what you said. He has ulterior motives even if he doesn't know it? How can you havea motive if you have no motive? That is an oxymoron. Stop being bitter and hating men and move on.

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  • Okay. There is so much wrong here that I don't know where to begin.

    First, all guys want sex... duh. EVERYONE wants sex. It's a biological imperative that gets switched on in both boys AND girls during puberty and drives what millions of years of evolution is telling you to do: fuck, reproduce, and continue the species. You wanted it just as much as he did, if not more. And yet you somehow paint this myopic fantasy that every girl is an innocent victim of a predatory heartless sexual sociopath (which it appears you call "men".) Ultimately every relationship has sex as an end goal out of principle, so there's no ulterior motive ever. A relationship with no sex is called a friendship.

    Second, you said "most girls around these ages tend to get into relationships with older guys, which makes sense considering the average maturity difference." Younger girls are not equally mature to older men. There's a reason why age of consent and age of majority laws exist. They are there for your protection whether you're male or female because no matter your age or perceived maturity your body is demanding you get laid and most teens do not have the maturity to cope with that at any level.

    Third, your entire spiel paints a picture of a sexual predator. If that was your first time and it went down like this then I feel sorry for you to some degree, but you consented and this rant of yours reads more like buyer's remorse.

    Not every man on this planet is like this, and painting us all as villainous sexual deviants is no better than painting every woman as a slut. You had a bad experience. We all have. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and don't fall for the same tricks a second time.

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  • Okay true but there are two limitations :-
    ●not all girls are innocent
    ●just because she's 18+ it doesn't mean she's get smarter and won't get used.

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    • Correction... NO girls are innocent, and neither are guys for that matter!

  • So every guy is gonna use girls for sex?
    I could taste the bitterness from here.

    This Take is bad. It seems to be focusing on one personal experience (or something they heard) and then applying it to every guy, when in reality most girls won't go through this cause most guys aren't like this.

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  • Jeez, you make this sound like some kind of rape story where a devilish man takes advantage of a naive, but goodhearted girl. I am not disagreeing with the subject of your Take, because I do think that boys and girls need to keep it in their pants until they are at least 18, but the way you treated this is offensive to both boys and girls: as if boys were all manipulative, evil people with a dark desire that needs to be fulfilled and takes precedence over a committed relationship; also, the way you portray this, it's as if the boy is the only one with sexual urges, which is just completely wrong.
    I don't know if this is what you went through, but this is not the normal in my experience, I hope you know that.

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  • Generally I would agree that it would be wise for teenagers to wait until they mature a bit more before jumping into bed with anyone.

    One thing I want to point out is that this idea of feeling heartbroken and kind of used and manipulated emotionally isn't exclusive to one gender. The one difference is that a male might not feel so physically used, he might have loved the experience of having sex with a girl even if she dumped him and moved on even after saying she loved him.

    A trouble to me is just that young people tend to fall in love quickly. Another in my mind is that young women can cherish their chastity too much. When you start seeing it as though someone sleeping with you took something permanently away from you, that's a path to a lot of grief even if you wait all the way until adulthood to have sex.

    It's when two mature people mutually agree that they want sex that it no longer becomes the source of pain, but instead pleasure.

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    • [...] that's a path to a lot of grief even if you wait all the way until adulthood to have sex.

      Want to focus on this point. Guys of any age group can be total dicks. There are 40-year old women out there who felt used in the same sense as a 16-year old girl dating a high school student.

      Those who prize their own chastity as being sacred are at the highest risk of being devastated by men with less than noble intentions (of any age, from any age). With traditions breaking down, I think a tough woman of the next generation is naturally going to be one who might use a man for sex just as much as he uses her (but safely, responsibly).

      Then it becomes an equal playing field. Both genders can still feel emotionally manipulated, but that's an inevitable risk that comes with falling in love. Sex would no longer carry such risks.

  • you did a great job covering what happens at that age. Its guys job to want to invade her space (birds and the bees). I can start out innocent enough, but the power of that attraction is great, the more he gets, the more he wants and he will push. If he's been there before, then very likely that is all he wants... I remember those guys well (it wasn't me).

    So this is why the ultimate answer to all of this is... oh... so you love me... I need a ring! No not the one out of the cereal box or fake stuff, like $5000. Oh yea, I need a commitment as well, then we can talk.

    he will be gone... unless he really does care.

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  • Wow so you managed to make all young girls look like naive idiots with a victim complex and all men to be predatory users
    Sure you dude who are you to judge humanity

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  • I know girls who have gone through this and you know what?
    They are fine. They were heart broken and hurt then time healed that over time, and now they are married to good guys.
    Oh and those guys, they grew up and out of that way and ended up married too.

    The relationships you have in your teens are NOT the end all be all in life.

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    • by the way, good take.

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    • I am going into logistics and I am very factual so yeah I like to get into all the details about these things and whats really the big picture.

  • Such a dark picture painted here. I have seen relationships with the age gaps you described that were successful with the guy being older, it depends on the individiual. I've seen a 16 yr girl that also used older guys for sex and then told us about it later as if it was an achievement of hers after he was "dismissed". In other words it's not an exact science.

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  • Yeah I think lots of guys are idiots like that and just care about sex which is wrong. I personally will always want a serious relationship with someone and don't just seek Fukin sex. I will only do that with someone that I like and it just happens to go that way and I feel comfortable with it. Your writing did seem a little offensive at first but when I finished it I realized that you at least put that this doesn't mean all guys are evil fuckers which is totally true cause I am not one myself and do not like when guys are treated as bad people because of the % of guys that actually are assholes. Not one gender is all to blame because both sides can potentially be the evil one doing the wrong stuff and manipulating an innocent person. If only our world had all good people in it and not those dumbasses that have no respect for life and to appreciate what is given to them and respect others for their own rights.

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  • I read the entire post and in this case the guy is the one to blame.
    SO GUYS SUCK IT UP
    I dont like it, but it's true. Recently one of my two close friends (girls) got dumped by her fionce and he didn't do it face to face. When she was going on her exams 500 kms away he called her to say ''it's over''. Does that sound right to you (not to me).

    So yes men (not all) take advange of younger and unexpirianced girls.

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  • Sadly too many older guys can damage younger girls, physically and mentally, before they are really ready for sex. Often girls feel peer pressure to 'do it' when in reality none of their peers have actually done it!
    It has been this way forever, a girl needs to be strong and resist until the right real guy comes along, in a proper relationship, and she feels ready for sex.

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  • But you're basically blaming the guy for a girl's mistake in sleeping with him.

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    • Guys should b more honest tbh. There are too many of us who are dicks that want nothing but to use a girl

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    • @Craig2 Dude, don't even waste your breath on these kids.

    • Yeah coz this "kid" apparently fixed u up

  • Seems extreme to feel that way just for sex. It is perfectly acceptable to have sex just to feel good.
    I do agree that boys and girls should not have sex before at least 16. I think 18 is better.
    The only really bad part of you post is where you say
    "Or worse, you'll text him first."
    WTF?
    It is not the guys duty to be the first to text all the time. Even after sex. It is not the be all/end all of everything. The worst part of young women is that you put WAY WAY WAY too much importance on sex. It is just a fun act. yes, it can be a great expression of love. But it can also just be fun. Women in their 40's and up understand that well. Actually, women in my age range are like men in their teens and early 20's. they are really aggressive sexually, and it is awesome.

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  • Nice stereotyping / generalizing of males

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    • All guys only want sex, they have no emotions, and they will manipulate any girl they're attracted to to get it. Yep, totally accurate.

    • PENIS IS EVIL!!! PENIS IS THE PROBLEM!!!
      BAN EVERYONE, WHO HAS A PENIS!!!

      :P :>

    • @Unit1 Ya ban or castrate

  • "And like something was stolen from you that you can never have back"

    That's what I don't get. What is so tragic about that? Why is it so important to them? You didn't lose anything valuable. Any guy on this planet in the same situation would scratch that as a learning experience and move on. A girl though, she was stolen something she can never have back. Why would you want that back?

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    • I'm guessing she means the girls virginity, which in that case is honestly such a common way of feeling when you're a young girl and you're mislead into having sex (for the first time) thinking that he loves you and you guys are gonna live happily ever after together and what not.
      In this society, virginity is seemed as such a valued possession, one that should only be given to your SO. And the event of one loosing they're virginity is such a big deal, especially for girls.
      The loss of ones virginity seems more like a right of passage, and also seems to signify the loss of innocence. So in essence it's more like you want your innocence back.

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    • And tbh ur a fool lol when get a daughter and she loses virginity maybe then you'll realize the foolishness of ur words

    • @Boomboomboom78
      Your comment has been removed.
      A 15yo boy is not going to teach me life lessons.
      Get lost and forget my name.

  • This Wednesday in theatres: "Why Girls Shouldn't Have Sex At A Young Age", the heartbreaking story of a girl that was manipulated into having sex with an older guy. For the whole family!

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  • maturity difference? are you implying that younger girls have the same maturity of the older guys? and are more mature than the ones at their age?

    Doesn't seem mature to me, that they still brainless engage in than then,..

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    • There's a difference between maturity and experience pal :)

  • Wait. Wanting sex is an ulterior motive? It's always been an open significant motive for me.

    Of course the guy wants sex. He's a guy.

    The question is whether the girl wants it too.

    If she's just going along, trading her body reluctantly for him to be nice to her, that sucks. She should say no.

    If she likes him and wants to trade happies with him, and does, I don't see the problem. Sex is a GOOD thing.

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What Girls Said 64

  • Well someone clearly got dumped!

    Sorry, but this is a really shitty and sexist take. You basically make out women are weak little flowers ready to be violated and ruined forever and that boys and men and evil, manipulating predators.

    Kids are just kids, they wanna fuck - their bodies are telling them to.

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    • No... it makes me seem weak. I am not weak. I had sex because I wanted to. Not every relationship is like this and I'm sorry you had a bad experience but just because it happened to you doesn't mean it will happen to everyone. I'm sorry he stole your flower but that was your choice. I made my choice and everything was fine.

    • And young boys ARE experienced? No, we need to stop acting like sixteen year old boys are sexual predators. It's wrong, they're just teenagers with raging hormones but they also have human emotions. They are capable of affection and love just like the weak little women you've portrayed.

  • I mean, I don't necessarily think you're wrong in that this doesn't happen, but I think it's kind of a necessary step in learning how to recognize people who are good for you. I think that you need to make mistakes in order to learn what kind of people and behaviours to look for and to avoid. The result will be the same whether you are having sex at 16 or at 26. Sometimes people just aren't that into you - all you need to do is learn to recognize that.

    Similarly, I don't think it's fair to paint all teenaged boys as sex-crazed villains. I know some people who had very meaningful relationships when they were young. Boys have feelings too - a boy who wants to have sex with you because he loves you isn't always going to be lying.

    I don't think anyone should be pressured into anything, but I don't want to demonize sex either.

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  • I am a girl who had sex at a young age with a boy that was older than me and GUESS WHAT. this didn't happen. We continued to have a great and loving relationship until there were some differences in opinion that separated us, and that's okay. Just because he has your virginity doesn't mean he's your soulmate. We dated for about a year and I was the one that decided we should have sex. Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean you can tell everyone that will happen to them. I'm sorry you dated a jerk but welcome to life, honey. Bad things happen and you can't just blame all men for your struggles.

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    • Oh, sweet Jesus. If I was meant to be with the boy I lost my virginity to, I would become a nun.

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    • @Grungenoreos But that's the thing everyone is saying. You should base your relationship off of loving someone. I don't see what you're arguing here

    • Totally agree. If you wait to have sex, but you find out he nvr liked you or that you two won't work out for whatever the reason... you'll still be devastated! Sex won't change who he is or who you are.

  • I don't want to be the butthurt little kid, but not all guys think with their dicks...

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    • I dont think being upset for being used like that would be considered "butthurt". Someone has a right to feel heartbreak over being used for one thing and then left like nothing mattered after all the things you guys had together. That being said, yes not all guys think with their dicks

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    • @Vivaldi
      Well, not everyone is able to use common sense...

    • I am a man. We can't have sex when we want, unlike women.

  • This isn't just for young girls. This is for everybody 18+ Virgin or is abstaining till marriage. Because you still have males AND females who still play the game. They don't care who they hurt. And you ah e to live this. Girls will always relive every sexual experiences for the rest of their lives till death. They don't understand this. They don't care to. And when you try to explain to them, it's 'don't judge me'. I have to make judgements so that I won't make the same mistakes as you. We have to judge so that we can help you as long as it is fairness. It depends on HOW the person judge you as well. This is a very good my take.

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  • The reason why young girls shouldn't have sex is because they're not ready for sex. Being ready for sex doesn't mean being horny and wanting to do somebody. Being ready for sex means you're emotionally ready and mature to handle sex. Also, sex mean babies. If you're not financially stable to take care of a child then you don't need to be having sex. I don't care how much "protection" you've got, you're using sex for all the wrong reasons.

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  • you know, I have done this very thing with men, I thought liked me but did not like me at all. I want to be loved by men, so I have been silly to think a guy likes me, even if he had sex with me and they really do not like me, its just sex. I have learned this and I want to change it, but its hard with my back ground. I would like to go on a date or find someone who lasts for at least a whole year or more, but even if I make myself clear, and tell them what I would like they still resort to having sex with me. I want to change, but I think guys are to spoiled and girls are why to nice to them or I am way to nice. I want to be a nice girl, but being nice is not helping me at all and if I am mean it doesn't help either so I don't know what to do or who can help me or where to find men that will date someone like me. I also live with family members who stop me from having relationships because I am too nice to people because I am lonely, getting older and would like a family of my own sense everyone else can have that.

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  • I am so glad that this never happened to me. I did not have sex with anyone but my husband and at 24 too.

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  • I agree, young girls aren't mature enough to handle the emotional and physical consequences of sex. I had older guys wanting me when I was 13. When I was 15 I had a guy who was in his 20s tell me that he wanted to marry me. It was all just lies in an attempt to get me, and fortunately I had a support system in place that kept me from falling prey to those kinds of guys.

    The only thing I disagree with is that I do think 17 year-olds are mature enough to decide. In fact, my state agrees, because the age of consent here is 17.

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  • Lots of guys are saying that this is like a story of a guy taking advantage of a girl but like it or not its actually what happens in the majority of the times. Once the guy sleeps with her at an early and a young age what does he really want after that? They would be too young to even think of marriage, he basically wouldn't want anything else. And unfortunately that's the truth most of the times. I'm not saying always but most of the times this happens.
    Good MyTake 😊

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  • good take

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  • Hmmm. I think both sexes should wait until they are mentally, not just physically and emotionally, ready for sex.

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  • I would ask my daughter to wait until she's mature. When we're teens, we usually rush sex because hormones oh hormones. Also, maturity is more than an age, but it's definitely not 14 or 15.

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  • It's funny how all the guys on here are criticizing this post, whereas most of the girls actually understand it. If you're a guy, you pretty much ALWAYS care about sex, no matter how old or "mature" you get. Of course guys are going to be sensitive to this. They don't think they're doing/have done anything wrong and that it's normal for them. There's a reason your grandparents and parents warn against having sex at a young age. I understand that certain situations are different and that a lot of girls today are looking for attention from guys, but as an 18 year old model in NYC, I've seen and heard about so many girls who have lost relationships because of their partner's mentality. As badcas it may sound, a lot of guys refuse to admit their shortcomings or see things from a woman's POV. Sex is different for women and therefore has different effects on the female's emotional perspective. As someone who was involved with an older guy - and the police as a result of his actions - a lot of guys today don't actually care. This doesn't go for all, but quite a few. So don't confuse your ignorance with your misinterpretation of the reality that this post conveys.

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    • @megankxthleen Guys are criticizing it probably because she's blaming guys for why a girl made the stupid mistake in the first place.

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    • @ManOnFire Because I'm the one arguing when you came at me.

    • @kiwigirl96 I think you're missing the point of his point. Her post is basically that she was young and naive and made a decision she regrets... and it was all his fault. Nevermind that she chose to do this as well, it was all him.

      There's a reason the age of consent exists and it's because girls like her don't have the wherewithal to make a decision like that with 100% understanding. Did that guy lead her on? Yep. Will every guy lead her on? Nope. She made a bad call and it is just as much her fault as his.

  • Basically what I got out of this is that girls 18- are un-datable because they are inexperienced and that any guy trying to date them is at fault? What? Lol
    So. Easy answer to this for girls. Don't date till you're 19+. Then you won't have to worry about anything. You'll keep your precious virginity and they won't be blamed because of your "inexperience". Saves both parties.
    Or
    Girls can just get over themselves, admit they can make mistakes too and stop trying to play the blame game. It's wrong to categorize men. Not all men are dicks and yeah, they might have sex on their minds a lot but it doesn't mean you have to oblige. If the girl made the decision to date the guy then she can make the decision to not or to have sex with him. Just date the guy, if things were going so well, why not leave it at that? It's not the guys responsibility to make decisions for her. If it's consented sex, then it was HER choice too. And if she regrets it, then boo hoo. Her choice. She now learns from it. Just because she changed her mind AFTER and regrets HER choices doesn't mean it's the guys fault. And if you want to make an excuse about her inexperience, don't, girls are perfectly capable of saying no. No matter the age. You grow up saying no to your parents when you don't like or want to do something. That's the key point though, the girl also wanted sex and so did so and that's why all this is irrelevant.

    If anything the focus should be on the parents to teach their daughters about this stuff. Educate them on the value of waiting or what happens when you don't etc..

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  • I hope you realize not all men are like that, nor are all 15/16/17 year olds so stupid enough to just hook up with someone. If you're in a relationship and you want to have sex it really isn't anyone's decision other than the people in the relationship. I, myself, am a virgin. However I'm in a relationship with a guy. He's one of the best men I know, next to my grandfather. I can tell he has the best intentions, and even I have trouble talking about sex with him because he would rather focus on the relationship aspect before anything about sex. It's ridiculous to generalize men like they're "master manipulators". Like guys are the only ones who want just sex. Lmao. I've seen plenty of slutty girls that manipulate guys into sex.

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  • I agree with this post. I waited until I was of age to have sex, and I was with my boyfriend for 8 months (we'd been friends for a couple of years already ) I'm in my 20's and all of my friends who had sex young were hurt repeatedly. I have NO regrets at all because I waited. I'm in a safe, secure, loving relationship with my best friend. I don't think this is a man blaming or hating post or a woman shaming post. I think it's a post just being honest. Nothing good comes from having sex at such a young age.

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  • I am about to turn 17 and I have managed to stay a virgin because I don't feel ready. I want to lose it with somebody I have a future with and in college.

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    • Honestly, don't feel pressured to put a time stamp on loosing your virginity. I'm 18 and still a virgin, why I'm still a virgin? I really couldn't tell you. But all I know is that when it happens it happens.

  • Erm.. this seems a bit biased and personal as if it's happened to you so you're assuming it'll happen to everyone.
    Not all guys are jerks, not all girls are innocent, and this could happen at any age.

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  • I think what's wrong here is how girls take it. Sex cannot happen without two consenting partners.. so if a girl has sex.. guy has too.. whatever it did to the girl. Guy went through the same thing.. but guys wouldn't be crying if they had sex with a girl and their relationship didn't work out.. they might even always have a sweet spot for that girl.. but girls will hate the guy and said he used them.. if both partners were happy at that time. And no one was forced. It's nothing wrong.. if sex is wrong at young age.. it's wrong for both genders...

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