Dating As A Black Man, and Why it Remains Difficult

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it is hard to be black in America; it truly is. However, we will discuss all the many reasons why it is hard to be black in America in another discussion. In this discussion, I want to talk about black people in the dating world; more specifically, being a black guy in the dating world.

Before I begin this take, you have probably guessed it already. Yes, I am a black man. I am 25 years of age. I am currently working on my Masters. I am a senior project manager for a web development firm. I have my own condo (working on getting a house) I have a car. I am very articulate. I am also a snappy dresser. Why am I telling you all this? I am not trying to brag about my accomplishments; however, a lot of people have it in their heads that black guys are "savages, thugs and aren't very bright". I have seen black men like this, but only in the ghetto. Not all black men are like this, and all of my friends that are black also have advanced degrees and great jobs.

As a black man in the dating world, it's tough. Here's an example of what I experience through online dating when I try to talk to women of different races:

A lot of the time, we are instantly shut down because of the color of our skin. This has happened to me often. I would often see this a girl's profile, in which it would read, "I DO NOT date black guys" or "I am NOT attracted to black guys". If you think that's bad? I tried talking to this woman online before, and she instantly replied to me saying, "I do not date n*ggers". However... that's just the tip of the iceberg.

When I was a kid, I grew up in an affluent white environment. All of my friends were white, all of my classmates were white, all of my teachers were white, and all the women I dated (or tried to date - lol) were also white. In 2009, immediately after high school, my parents told me that they were moving to Dallas, Texas and invited me to come along. I wanted to see what the world had to offer me and I wanted a change of pace. After moving to Texas, I was in awe. There were so many different women of different races; however, I started to really have a thing for black women. While I am attracted to all different races and have dated women of various races, I just started to steadily become attracted to black women. However, I have actually never dated a black woman in my life.

It seems that black women in our society have tastes for 2 types of men:

Thug Black Guys:

I have talked and tried to get to know many black women since moving to Texas. However, it's all the same. They tell me they have dated men who are thugs and are in trouble with the law and that they are looking for a nice, down to Earth, educated man to form a relationship with. I often think to myself, "Hey, I am a nice, down to Earth, educated man" and I give them that, but they start ignoring me and end up dating another thug guy, until he breaks her heart and the cycle continues.

This video speaks volumes of what I am talking about:

https://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh61qd6N4iFyWX6uCG

White Guys:

Don't get me wrong at all, interracial dating does not bother me. What does bother me, however, is when people choose to date interracially because they do not like their race or are ashamed of their race and want out.

It seems that more and more black women are choosing to date white men for that very reason. I have talked to black women, only to be told, "I only date white guys". When you go to online dating sites and you see in a black woman's profile, "Swirl life" or "I love white men", they are basically telling you that they only date white guys.

This question speaks volumes of what I have also experienced on my end as a black guy:

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/q2018453-how-black-girls-who-only-like-white-guys-feel-about-black-men

And so does this article:

https://www.centrictv.com/news-views/race-culture/articles/2015/04/01/azealia-banks-explains-why-she-doesn-t-date-black-men.html

It seems that the educated black men are losing because black women tend to only want to date thugs or they want white men.

[RationalMale]

The problems black guys face in dating... are problems made by the black community. And I note that your first problem you list is that women of other races don't want to date black men.

Women being loyal to men of their own race... is not a bad thing. Loyalty is a virtue. If a woman feels such loyalty towards her people and towards her culture that she only wants to date in her own race, that's a good thing for her.

And yes, it is a damn good thing when white women only want to date white men. That's a strong majority in real life and it's great.

Second, if black women don't want to date black men... that's not us white guy's fault. Don't you go blaming media or some crap. If black women don't want to date black men, that's the result of the collective reputation of black men and/or her experience with black men. The fact that about 3/4 black births are out of wedlock doesn't help you if a black woman wants commitment.

I assure you, we white guys are not going out to find black women. Only a small amount of white men want to date black women. The vast majority want white women, some want Asians, and a few want hispanic women.

[sdistotallyme]

I'm a white guy myself. However I've met other educated black guys who have this problem. It's sad because they are trying to do the right thing and get ahead. However they face issues on two fronts: other blacks degrade them for "acting white" and not "keeping it real" and us whites have that initial negative image of them.

I say this as a conservative white guy by the way. I think silly movements such as BLM are making this WORSE than better. However I've met enough good black men/women in my life that I want to treat them as brothers/sisters (all blood is red). However at the same time I'll never respect the "thug lifestyle". Our stupid ass entertainment industry/hollywood has glorified the black "thug" for the last 25 years. Stupid uneducated white kids (another other races) "look up" to the gangsta black man as well. We got to move on from this crap and glorify the educated black man as the real bad ass.

[Azara]

loyalty to a 'race' .. there's no such thing.

[Azara]

you can't tell a persons race from looking at them.

[Anonamous118]

I see this site is full of incels, racists, and creeps.

[RationalMale]

@sdistotallyme it doesn't matter if we White people have negative views of them. White people don't owe black people dick or pussy. They need to fix their own issues and stop relying on other races for romantic partners when they don't want each other--you dance with the ones who brought you.

[EllieLexis513]

Um... black men are losing out because so many of them adhere to the stereotype. I'm a black woman myself and the black guys where I live ARE thugs unfortunately. I won't date any of them up here, but that doesn't mean I'd never date a black guy ever.

Personally, I think black women have it much harder than black men do when it comes to dating.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

If your on about online dating try sending messages to guys and perfecting your photo.
To be fair I need to work on my profile photo the lightings all wrong and the quality isn't that good but even if I haven't done the best job yet my self I intend to as it's basically the most important thing for online dating.

Being a black woman shouldn't stop you dating.
I've seen some really hot black women and I don't think going cross race is a big deal for most guys it certainly doesn't have anything like the effect of having kids or a second chin or your amount of facial symmetry or even not being the guys preferred height.

[EllieLexis513]

@sedrftvgyhujik... what does any of that have to do with my opinion?

[sedrftvgyhujik]

You said you thought black women have it much harder.

[EllieLexis513]

@sedrftvgyhujik Again. What does any of that have to do with my comment?

[sedrftvgyhujik]

I think I focused too much on that and blathered on a bit.
Looking over what I wrote again i'd probably just remove my opinion now if i could.
In my defence I'm dyslexic.

[ManOnFire]

I don't see how we're losing out that bad though, since there are more interracial relationships involving black men than black women. So the stereotype can't be doing that much damage.

[Pyrofox]

@ManOnFire If its not doing that much damage then it shouldn't be hard to find a other half.

[ManOnFire]

@Pyrofox But I'm really not convinced of it. His problem and some other black men's may be tough, but that's not really all that common. I don't even get how people are pretending a concrete problem actually exists. Whether or not there are black men adhering to a stereotype, it's still not stopping white girls, Latinas, and even some Asians from liking us.

[EllieLexis513]

@ManOnFire Black women like you, too. And I think a lot of black men don't thin kit's that common because they don't recognize it themselves. You guys aren't looking for black men, you're looking for black women, so you're not nearly as aware of it as we are. Besides, everyone has different standards as to what they are looking for. I have plenty of diverse friends married to black guys and some of them are thugs. I would never give them the time of day but that's because I have different standards.

[EllieLexis513]

@ManOnFire Also, I believe I said black women have it harder in dating than black men so I'm not really understanding why you said "there are more interracial relationships involving black men than black women. So the stereotype can't be doing that much damage. " Unless it wasn't directed towards me.

[ManOnFire]

@EllieLexis513 I guess I assumed we were talking about interracial dating. I wasn't sure you meant black men looking for black women. For me I guess that's not my focus so I can't really relate. It is harder for black women to get dates, but partly it's because black women aren't opening their doors enough either. There are a lot of white guys who want to date black but black women won't give them the time of day. They close off their options.

[EllieLexis513]

@ManOnFire That's interesting. Maybe it's an area thing. I have had several white men tell me my only flaw for them is my being black and some men that have dated me made the exception because of the stereotypes. Like I have a career, a degree, no kids, not on welfare... I know they say it like a compliment and I'm sure that's how they mean it, but it's a bit rude and I hate when they say that.

[Sigil]

Wow, you mean the black men that you are choosing. Even in the Ghetto, there are black men who are not "thugs". Just like in the heart of Dixie there are white men who are not down with the Klan. Get over yourself.

[EllieLexis513]

@Sigil Well, I can't possibly be choosing any of them if I'm not dating them, now can I? And if you think that, you know nothing of the ghettos.

[Anonymous]

Being a black female is a lot harder. First off there are tons of women white, black, or otherwise who like black men. I'm black but I went to an all girls high school in the suburbs and the girls there seemed to have a fetish for black guys. They treat black guys like an exotic animal. One girl gave head to an entire black basketball team. They often posted selfies on Instagram with random black guys they met at events with captions like "my new boo 😍😘". Black guys can get white girls and black girls and any other race. You don't have to be a thug to get a black woman. Just be attractive and not boring. Some black girls date thugs cause they think they're attractive and an exciting challenge. However, most black females who have enough common sense just want a regular guy. There are tons of black women who want a normal guy. Personally, I don't have a problem with interracial dating but I don't think I would ever do it. It's not that I'm racist it's just that I live in a predominantly black neighborhood, most of the people I know are black, and I like people who can relate to me and understand me. We just came back from vacation and there were a lot of white people in the hotel we stayed at. I asked some white guy to pass me a basketball but I'm from philly so I have a habit of using philly slang and he just stared at me like he had no clue what I just said. So I pointed to the basketballs and he handed me one and as I was walking away he started laughing at me. Most white people just don't understand black culture. All the white girls in my old school always came to me to ask questions about black people. They were always asking about weaves, or twerking, or slang, black hair, if we get sunburned, if we can get lice, or why we like fried chicken so much. They couldn't really relate to me and I couldn't relate to them. While I had to take the bus and a train for an hour and a half every morning to get to school, they were driving their expensive Jeeps and Range Rovers to school from their house across the street. It's like we live in two different worlds. I simply prefer to date people who understand my world.

I'm rambling now. Moral of the story, non-thuggish black guys do have a chance. It's hard out here for black girls as well.

[TokyoGhoulLover]

Poetry girl, poetry.

[Opinion Owner]

@TokyoGhoulLover Lol thanks. I just wrote the truth.

[FakeName123]

You throw a few things together, but I don't think your conclusions are quite right to make.

1. Online dating is suicide for men. You simply do not have good chances there, if you aren't on Brad Pitt level of looks. You have to understand that online many more guys find the guts to approach a girl than they actually do in actual life. This means that the girls around online are getting leverage in their social status and dating hierachy. Not to mention that most guys doing online dating are already low on the ranking in the dating world and thus girls already think less of you for online dating to begin with (yes, dont need to talk about the hypocrisy of it.. Means you will always fight uphill.

And that is without taking into consideration all the limitations that online dating involves. So go out and speak to girls in the actual world. You see a cute girl grocery shopping? Find your balls and go over to her.

2. Girls who look for serious, comitted relationships avoid ghetto and thugs. @ElliLexis513 said something like this already. And lets face it - the most ghettos and most thugs are black. Thus it is naturally an uphill battle for any decent black person to show that they aren't part of that stereotype. And lets face it - a lot of modern black communities are freaking toxic and self-destructive. If I was a girl I would be careful around potential black partners as well in america. Things would look different in other countries though.

In addition to this there comes also a few other issues. Black girls who want non-thug boyfriends will start looking to date non-blacks based on that since their chance of finding a decent guy simply increases by that. And girls who are specifically into black guys should be a red flag for you, because they are into black guys for certain stereotypes. You want to avoid that.

Another issue occurs with the girl you mentioned saying she doesn't want to date thugs anymore, but someone decent. Frankly - those girls are full of shit. Dont even listen to them. As you figured, they will keep on dating those. Why? Either because they have self-identity issues, a certain level of self-masochism ("I deserve to be treated badly") or only think with their pussy, but nothing else. Possibly a combination of those.

[FakeName123]

With stay away from girls who only want black guys I mean non-black girls. Generally most people prefer to date among their own ethnicity so if those specifically state they are into black guys its likely they look for something very different than you are and look for.

3. Accept that you stand out. As a black in a majorily white country you will stand out. Nothing you can do about it. So accept it and stand up to it. Also you will stand out among certain black communities, because you aren't like them either.

Anecdote time: A good friend of mine who is into lots of metal-music often has people look weird at him because when we go into scene-clubs he sticks out by being the complete opposite in appearance of what is the general scene dress-code. He looks more like someone who is about to sell you insurances. But you know what? He just aces it. He packs his balls on the table and sticks to it and after first irritations it was never a problem with girls.

[FakeName123]

And last but not least - take every advice that girls tell you about dating with a grain of salt. Most girls have no clue what they actually want. You just go out and learn by doing. Approach girls, have confidence. I also wrote a take about it here: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24617-what-do-women-want

[Anonymous]

I knew the second you started writing this that you would probably start to "explain" that you are a decent person, you have the degree, the job, and are not a thug. How sad really that in order to even be heard, a black person, man or woman, feels they have to say all those things. I don't think a lot of white people understand what its like to have everyone label you to the point where no one even believes you can actually exist.

Second, I grew up similarily to you. I was an only for most of my life at whatever school except for high school where I had the distinct pleasure of attending an incredibly diverse school which was an absolute dream because everyone there was so loving and accepting of everyone, including in the dating world.

Because of my "white sounding" voice (not my words) I have had a lot of unfortunate dating issues. I've had black men literally tell me I wanted to date you because I thought you were white. How exactly does one follow up that gem because it now seems to imply that I can't be good enough because I'm actually black. Or guys giving me the whole, I'm giving the "black thing" a try, or you're pretty... for a black girl. It's painful. It really is.

The thing is, the minute you start roping every black, white, hispanic, Asian, and on down the line, person into one group, you become just like the people you dislike who are doing it to you. I don't care if you've met and dated 30 black girls in your lifetime or 30 white girls in your lifetime, or 30 Asian girls in your lifetime, you have NOT dated them all, so to start believing all people act a certain way makes you part of the problem, not the solution.

You, nor I, need approval from anyone to be who we are, we don't need to justify ourselves as human beings, we don't need to hate ourselves or others like us or different from us, we just need to love and be loved, and I think the only way that can be done is to dismiss as much as we can the idiots of the world who say crap or do crap like they've done and continue to search for the one. I'm not going to waste a minute of my life chasing after someone who thinks treating a person like crap, being racist, being cluelessly racist, and the like, are normal.

[DWornock]

THE ADVANTAGE OF BEING A YOUNG BLACK GUY
Being a black guy definitely has its advantages in the USA. You could say it is the black athletes vs. the white nerds. Most teenage girls go nuts over black athletics and turn up their pretty little noses at white nerds.

However that advantage is magnified because there are 6 whites for every black and, I believe that for sex, about 20 percent of teenage white girls prefer black guys and that 20% x 6 or 1.2 white girls for every black guy. And, because very few white guys will date black girls there is approximately 1 black girl for every black guy. Added together 1.2 white girls and 1 black girl means on average there are 2.2 girls available for every black guy. And, most of these girls will fuck a black guy; that is, most of the black girls and especially the white girls that date black guys will fuck a black guy.

One reason black guys are so attractive to white and black girls, perhaps the main reason, is because black guys are more masculine, taller, more athletic, and, should it come to that, the girls and both the white guy and black guy knows the black guy can kick the white guy’s a$$. Not only that but having so many girls available give the black guys the confidence and cockiness that is so appealing to girls. And, since most teenage white girls that prefer to date black guys are quick to drop their panties for black guys, the black guys take their virginity

You should pity the poor white guys. With 20 percent white girls choosing black guys for sex, that means, in effect, there are 5 white guys for every 4 white girls. That may not sound like a lot and it is not for the elite white guys but is devastating for the less desirable white guys. Furthermore, unlike the girls that date black guys, on average, the girls that only date white guys are far less sexually active and not near as willing to have sex. And, these white girls tend to keep the white guys at arm’s length. That causes white guys to lose confidence which make them even less attractive to white girls.

However, that changes by mid to late twenties because, even though for sex, 20 percent of white girls prefer black guys, when they want a baby; that is marriage, they choose white guys. White Americans are statistically the least likely to marry outside of their race. Per the 2010 US Census, in the US there are 56.5 million marriages and only 422 thousand white/black marriages. Therefore, less than one percent of white women marry black guys.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

please dont judge black women because in the same way you are generalizing us, women of other races generalize you. you are not a special snowflake. there are other educated black men and women and we tend to date each other. granted, this may depend on location and demographics

where im from there are a lot of thugs. like true thugs as in certified gang members, drug dealers and murderers but nobody really wants them except for the hoodrats. hopefully you're not goin after those types lol

then you have the working class/poorer black guys. they are not always thugs but can often be easily classed (stereotyped) as thugs by people who dont really know better. for example a guy from the hood who may have a few misdemeanors from like 10 years ago isn't really a thug to me, but i can see how someone else who is removed from the black community may assume he is at first glance. for example the picture of the black guy with the tattoos smoking a cigar does not look like a thug to me. it could be a regional thing (im from atlanta) but i dont see thug when i look at him. he looks more alternative/rock and roll or possibly tattoo-owner ish to me.

anyways black women dont require a guy to be a thug or white to date. thats a generalization and honestly just sounds silly. so you really think most black women will not date a black guy unless he is an active gang member with tattoos on his face or a white boy? really? i know you dont believe that lol. if you are getting turned down, dont automatically assume its because you're not a thug

[Starrk]

Black men have it nowhere near as bad as Black women and Asian men. Black men at least have some positive stereotypes that benefits them in the dating world unlike black women and Asian men who don't really have any redeeming stereotypes to assist them in the dating world.

Also, educated black women are at an even greater lost because statistically educated black women outnumber educated black men. This results in an educational imbalance and it forces educated black women to date below their own educational status which is why you see many educated black women with black thugs. The few educated black men that do exist tend to date interracially which hurts educated black women chances of finding a black partner whose her equal.

Regardless of all this, I advise you to stay away from online dating sites. For some odd reason people become more picky when they get behind a computer screen. The same girls who you see writing "No Black Guys" on their profiles are usually the same girls who have a history of dating black guys. So never take preferences on dating sites to heart because they are nowhere near as rigid as you think they are.

[lyannamormont]

I think this take gives some insights into a black man's world and feelings so I like it.

I think both black women and black meb suffer from that, i can tell as a white person whose closest friend is a beautiful black lady. She states that she prefers to date black men but she can't find a nice looking guy with saggy clothes and with good education since she has a ms degree and works as a manager of a data analysts team in her company. She said so far the ones she dated were nice looking educated by still somehow had that thug feeling in the relationship. Though I do not know what she means by that. As a white women I have dated and been attracted to black men. But most of who approached me were thugs, and very rude and sexually explicit when approahing me. so even unwillingly i can sadly admit that I have that stereotype too. I dont and have not used online dating but the trust in those platforms, i am sure, also the chance of finding a good man whether white Asian or black must be very low so please do not discourage or despise yourself in dating arena. I am sure your significant one is out there waiting for you. Good luck.

[vishna]

I will 100% agree that black guys have a disadvantage with the numbers game. Let's be real, all my senior year white friends were told by their parents to not date black people or were told their parents preferred if they didn't. So, a lot of women grow up having this feeling that black men are 'less than'... say a white man... or Asian... etc. Ok, so, that's a lot of people gone.

On to black women-That being said, I dunno where you live but all over my facebook are educated black women craving and praising black men. I mean posts like this are everywhere.

pics.onsizzle.com/...s-girls-would-want-4d4fa2.png

Ok, and as a woman who is half black-I don't date 'thugs' because that's not how I grew up, that's not my culture. Some black women date 'thugs' because they might have things in common. Yea, I'm dating a white guy now, but the last one was a black guy who wasn't a thug, went to college, and fucked up cause he lost me (lol, I had too XD)

That being said, I'm not going to say you aren't experiencing difficulties within the black community in finding a partner-why not go on Black people meet. com or something? Lots of black people with similar education, place in life, etc.

And lastly, that guy in picture one isn't a 'thug', he's a hipster dammit! Glasses, check. Cigar, check. Tattoos, check. Freakin suspenders, check. Hipster.

[chc0009]

Well, I'm educated, tall (6'2"), funny (awkward humor), family oriented and look good (166 lbs). But not white or Latino, I'm Asian.

[Battooot]

dude, you just find it difficult because you think it's like that. It's really not. Where are you living, open your eyes. Tons of girls prefer BLACK guys over anything. i met at least 4 girls, 4 sexybomb pretty beautiful girls, who rejected me because i wasn't black! and look at me i'm not even that bad!

Also, the thing with thugs, it's not true. Not all women are like that, that's first of all. 2nd of all, you definitely, DEFINITELY, do not want to be with a woman who is into THUGS. SO if you meet one like that then you should just be happy you found out early how in-genuine and unsmart she is.
Just have more faith in yourself and more confidence and go out there and don't care what girls or people think. Yes every one will have tastes that's normal. But there are tons of white/black girls who prefer black men over others, or at least appreciate them a lot. Black guys actually have more chances than others because they are known for their strong genes and ability to develop muscles stronger and faster than others, and also to be generally hung down there.

Just go find the women who have your taste

[Anonymous]

Typical black guy whining about black women not wanting them. I cry bullshit...

PLENTY AND I MEAN PLENTY of educated black women will get on all fours for a good-looking educated black man. Myself included. I don't like thugs and I'm not attracted to white men (nothing against them). However, I find that majority of "educated" black men are highfalutin. They think that they are the King of Kings because they're educated, have no criminal record and have money. Therefore, they act like privileged bloodsuckers. Meanwhile, black women have ALWAYS for the most part (excluding hoodlum girls and "baby mamas") always got educated and made sure to stay out of trouble with the law. Black women have had a long rep of holding together a family and are not prided on that by black men. Instead they're super hard on us. They'll clump us into one box and say "they're all loud", but when we're soft-spoken we're "acting white", yes I've gotten told that by NUMEROUS black men who were so-called educated. I've even had a boyfriend who told me that I need to stop talking like my name is Becky.

Dating is hard and while I'll always have a soft spot and empathy for black men, I will not sit here and allow them to put us black women down. Stop looking. Stop thinking all of us want thugs and take a long hard look at yourself. Ask yourself if you feel you're superior to others. If you feel you are, that is your answer. Get your head out of your ass and learn to be humble. God bless.

[myTake Owner]

I don't think I am superior to others at all.

[AesthetiusSied]

the actual percentage of good black girls who like black guys is so statistically low that you may as well believe in unicorns

[myTake Owner]

@AesthetiusSied Actually... you're correct. A lot of the educated black girls I meet are with white men.

[AesthetiusSied]

i know which is hilarious

[Opinion Owner]

@AesthetiusSied oh give me a break. Mind you... you say things like "attractive" meaning you automatically write off "unnattractive" ones. I can't even name black women who I personally know who are with white men. I live in NJ by the way.

[AesthetiusSied]

depends on the area too

[Opinion Owner]

@AesthetiusSied but meanwhile, everytime I see a black man, he's with a nonblack woman. My family prides the black men for being with black women. While they EXPECT the women to be with black men. I'm also Haitian descent so we usually stick to our own. For the most part, all of my uncles have white or Asian women and my aunts are either with African or Haitian men. It depends on the area, culture and socioeconomic. Majority of us are educated with degrees, advanced degrees and in good shape. We date and marry black men.

[Opinion Owner]

@AesthetiusSied my boyfriend is black from England. He is Jamiacan/Nigerian descent. Said that he exclusively dated white women before he came to the states and met me. I'm educated and in good shape. He treats me like a queen.

[Anonymous]

I'm not black, but I can understand where you're coming from. As a man who's dated girls of every race (IE black, white, Asian, native American, and so forth). I've seen the difficulties black men face. The last black woman I dated wouldn't give black guys the time of day. Which I thought to be wrong as I have a few close black guy friends, and they are amazing friends and people.

I think the problem with is with society. Since the majority of black men in the US have done something to which earns themselves a bad rep. It's guy's like you who have to pay the consequence. Which is absolutely unfair and unjust. However, I will say that there are a lot of women who will date black guys. Just not as many as other races.

A study came out about 2 years ago with a collection of data from over 5 different major dating websites. Per race, here is the most desired race of men from highest to lowest from the findings of this study by each race of women.
- Asian women preferred white men, Asian men, black men, and then hispanic men.
- White women preferred white men, black men, hispanic men, and then Asian men.
- Black women preferred black men, white men, hispanic men, and hen Asian men.
- Hispanic women preferred white men, hispanic men, black men, and then Asian men.

With the total collected amount of data. Black men are second to the last of most desired race of men based on total numbers. Asians are last; so at least you have that... If that helps any.

[Mayamoon02]

Move to England! All the stylish black men get the best looking women. You see it everywhere. Of course not all are created equal so not everyone has a sexy attitude.
Its easier for a black guy to look clean cut and fresh for some reason. Plus you are better at chatting up women. Maybe its cause in the UK we have a lot of Jamaicans! Lol (2nd generation after their parents arrived in the 70's)

I have been to California and American black men are sexy!! So confident!! Mmmm

But there are a lot of black men who have no class and go after easy women.
These black men tend to gather in large groups of guys that dress the same - loosing individuality and lowering the quality.
As long as you aren't like them - you just need to believe in your advantages.
I am pretty sure Asian men have a harder time dating.

[Mayamoon02]

P. S. Anyone who has a racial preference is a twat and not worth dating in the first place. Probably can't attract a turd in real life thats why they enjoy putting others down.
Its just rude. They need to learn to keep it to themselves :)

[Mayamoon02]

No one is forcing anyone to date against preference but the fact people feel the need to say it means that there is a consensus that these groups of people are inferior dating material therefore you can show disrespect and get away with it. Which is messed up!!

[martian12345]

Can you elaborate on why you think Asian men have a harder time dating. I agree with you, but would like to know your take on it.

[Mayamoon02]

@martian12345
I am not 100% on that statement. It could be a cultural thing! That Asian men don't necessarily date. I assumed cause I don't see it often compared to white or black men.

[Mayamoon02]

@martian12345 You only see older Asian couples together where I live.

[MeganKiLLs]

I think Latinos do better than black or Asian

[boatfullofpeace]

What about the growing percentage of black men who don't date black women, because of colorism in America where black men are indirectly taught to hate the color of their own skin? Most black women I know would never date a thug. You probably need to meet more women in real life and in respectable places in real life. I understand what you're saying but you're judging based off a very small percentage of online daters. I'm sure you can find someone who you're looking for, just change where you look.

[ihateheroicleishin]

My family is horrifically racist, white, wealthy, high social status etc. When I was young the first person I had feelings for was a black man. I asked permission from my dad to date him, he said no you don't mix races. I invited him over to my house to hang out, my family HUMILIATED him. I made the choice then and there not to date anyone until I was older, and they couldn't tell me what to do I never wanted anyone to be subjected to that kind of cruelty again.

My next boyfriend (now my ex ) was malteese but he looked white ish, he flew under the radar they had no idea. I have a boyfriend now, but if in the future I were to date anyone of a different race I'd be terrified to bring them near my family. I'd feel like I'd have to protect them constantly. I don't know if it's morally right to date someone knowing your family will try to hurt them.

[KiaTate]

Has anyone ever told you assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups? I'm not always attracted to thugs. White guys are cool but I'll always have a thing for black men... Nerdy, athletic, funny, romantic, thuggish. Black men are sexy.
You think being a black man is hard?
I have to ask myself if someome is interested in me because I am black. Because a lot of people are not interested in dating because they assume I'm hood or only interested because I'm black and think I'm a freak in bed or that I'm easy.
Don't even get me started on black men who think black women are shit and don't deserve to be happy. 😑

[myTake Owner]

You mentioned:
I'm not always attracted to thugs.

So... you are attracted to thugs?

[Ssimon91]

Im a Dark Skinned black guy in NY. and dating is funny as hell. i get rejected by some black girls cause im "too dark" or they assume im the Thug going " GANG GANG GANG BLAT BLAT BLAT " due to guys they had in the past.

then when i start dating a white girl who for whatever reason is into me (Ranges from actual Attraction to a Dick fetish) all the sudden im the guy who hate my race and what not. LOL EXCUSE ME?

Then the funny thing about that is, In my experince, the girls who try to pull that BS later on admit they dont even date black guys to begin with. So tell me. if you aren't going to date me , And im not allowed to date the white girl other wise im a traitor, then who am i suppose to Date, lol.

[Anonymous]

I respect your take, but take a look at how the majority of black men treat black women, compared to how non black men treat black women. As a black woman myself, I prefer to only date outside my race. Now let me tell you why. It is heartbreaking to try and date someone inside your own race and they degrade you and treat you like nothing. I once heard a black man say that he will never date/marry a black woman because he "doesn't want to deal with buying her weave." That was the most stupid reason I have ever heard for someone not to date their own race. Another black man told me that he doesn't want to date/marry black women because he doesn't want his children to have "nappy hair." Another stupid reason. How does that make us black women feel? Unappreciated. If my own race doesn't want to be romantically involved with me, then I'll find one that does.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks for reading my Take.

You mentioned:
"I respect your take, but take a look at how the majority of black men treat black women, compared to how non black men treat black women."

You're right. HOWEVER, it widely depends on where you are raised and the type of men you hang around/meet. Like I said, all of my black friends are college educated, have great jobs and they treat their women like queens. Of course, I grew up in the suburbs.

Now... my cousins who grew up in New York City and lived in the ghetto, they represent what you are talking about, and it doesn't help that the media, rap music, etc., portrays black men in a negative stereotype.

If you live in a decent, classy area (not saying you don't), you will meet black men who are similar to me and not ghetto.

[Opinion Owner]

I live in a very decent suburban area; look up the top 10 richest counties in America, I live in number one. Unfortunately, black men in my area are still the same. It's bad enough that the media portrays black men as "thugs" or "gangsters" and black men in my area continue to act foolishly. It's really sad. We should all be working against the media to prove society wrong - we should all be working together to prove that people can't stereotype others based on their skin color.

[Shuge]

If two examples are enough to condemn an entire race of people I wouldn't expect you to like us in the first place, even if we were perfect. If you don't like us just say it, don't try to make it seem like there's some bs logical reason for it. Keep it real. You like what you like.

[Opinion Owner]

@Shuge You don't have to be so bitter. If I don't like black men, deal with it. Worry about you, instead of me, and move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

First off, those women who only date thugs are lowlife women... and if that's who you're really disappointed not to be dating... well...
And as for the white guy thing now, black men piss me off bitching about that when for generations they've been pushing black women aside in favour of white women and saying things like they'll only date white women because black women are ugly or they're shitty women.
I'm half black half white, and I only date black men but the moment I hear he's been chasing all these hood rats who only want ghetto men, or the bs about how I'm so great because I'm not full black then it's done.
I fortunately grew up with some great black male role models, so I've never been into thugs as anything more than a friend because I just take it for granted that there's better men out there and I've never been dumb enough to think those thugs could match up to the great black men I grew up around.

[Megan9969]

Currently dating a Latino boy although my 1st preference is white men & I feel so bad because i can't see my self dating a black guy.
And i feel like a hypocrite because i tell my friends to date who ever they want although i only date two type of men.
I just find white & Latinos explosively attractive most of all the time !!
When i introduced my boyfriend
(Mexican American) to my dad (white) he seemed happy & just all smiles. Even though he prohibited me before from dating non whites!
I just dont see the same reaction if my boyfriend was black..
There are so many bad stereotypes of black men & many i which seem to be true every time i turn on the news :x

[BabyLaLa69]

I feel the same way.. Everything you said is how i see it..

[Frankie1G]

We cute we cute its that simple..

[Megan9969]

@Frankie1G
Omg dude lol u scared the shit out of me xD.. You look soooo much like my ex !!
I went on your profile and my heart stopped lmao..
Follow me cutie <3
Dont be shy

[Frankie1G]

You're hot and all but I've only dated latinas.. But add me, get to know me & your ex might look like me but i am different : )

[Rick-Lewis]

Because your racist. Simple as that. Your Reported.

[rjroy3]

Ok. This is a mental barrier. The biggest issue you'll have to deal with in dating as a black guy is girls having a "usual" preference of white guys. The majority of girls I've dated said they never pictured themselves dating a black guy, before they met me. Most girls are pretty flexible when it comes to looks.

As far as dealing with people in general as a black guy, then yea that's a little different. There's certain issues that people of other ethnicities will probably never have to deal with because of the stereotypes revolving around our ethnicity as well as racism. But I know most problems stem from shooting yourself in the foot. Get out of your own way and life gets easier.

Plus, some stereotypes are fun to embrace if you know what I mean.