Honestly, it is hard to be black in America; it truly is. However, we will discuss all the many reasons why it is hard to be black in America in another discussion. In this discussion, I want to talk about black people in the dating world; more specifically, being a black guy in the dating world.
Before I begin this take, you have probably guessed it already. Yes, I am a black man. I am 25 years of age. I am currently working on my Masters. I am a senior project manager for a web development firm. I have my own condo (working on getting a house) I have a car. I am very articulate. I am also a snappy dresser. Why am I telling you all this? I am not trying to brag about my accomplishments; however, a lot of people have it in their heads that black guys are "savages, thugs and aren't very bright". I have seen black men like this, but only in the ghetto. Not all black men are like this, and all of my friends that are black also have advanced degrees and great jobs.
As a black man in the dating world, it's tough. Here's an example of what I experience through online dating when I try to talk to women of different races:
A lot of the time, we are instantly shut down because of the color of our skin. This has happened to me often. I would often see this a girl's profile, in which it would read, "I DO NOT date black guys" or "I am NOT attracted to black guys". If you think that's bad? I tried talking to this woman online before, and she instantly replied to me saying, "I do not date n*ggers". However... that's just the tip of the iceberg.
When I was a kid, I grew up in an affluent white environment. All of my friends were white, all of my classmates were white, all of my teachers were white, and all the women I dated (or tried to date - lol) were also white. In 2009, immediately after high school, my parents told me that they were moving to Dallas, Texas and invited me to come along. I wanted to see what the world had to offer me and I wanted a change of pace. After moving to Texas, I was in awe. There were so many different women of different races; however, I started to really have a thing for black women. While I am attracted to all different races and have dated women of various races, I just started to steadily become attracted to black women. However, I have actually never dated a black woman in my life.
It seems that black women in our society have tastes for 2 types of men:
Thug Black Guys:
I have talked and tried to get to know many black women since moving to Texas. However, it's all the same. They tell me they have dated men who are thugs and are in trouble with the law and that they are looking for a nice, down to Earth, educated man to form a relationship with. I often think to myself, "Hey, I am a nice, down to Earth, educated man" and I give them that, but they start ignoring me and end up dating another thug guy, until he breaks her heart and the cycle continues.
This video speaks volumes of what I am talking about:
Don't get me wrong at all, interracial dating does not bother me. What does bother me, however, is when people choose to date interracially because they do not like their race or are ashamed of their race and want out.
It seems that more and more black women are choosing to date white men for that very reason. I have talked to black women, only to be told, "I only date white guys". When you go to online dating sites and you see in a black woman's profile, "Swirl life" or "I love white men", they are basically telling you that they only date white guys.
This question speaks volumes of what I have also experienced on my end as a black guy:
And so does this article:
It seems that the educated black men are losing because black women tend to only want to date thugs or they want white men.