1. Be Yourself
If you've lied about your interests, your religion, your political views, your love of a sports team you hate, and your regrettable drunken marriage in Vegas...and the guy you're trying to start a relationship falls for "that person," you're screwed because that's not you and you're a liar and you're going to have to do a lot of back pedaling or additional lying. Just be who you are, like what you like, and hopefully the guy will fall for that person who isn't a big fake liar.
2. Stop Obsessing Over Your Body
If any of us has to hear how self conscious you are about your left pinky finger or how you're on a salad cleanse again, we're all going to puke. No one cares! I'll repeat that: no...one...cares. You are hypocritical of yourself because you see you everyday in the mirror and you think everyone else sees the same 'flaws' you see, so you think pointing them out on a loop is going to be helpful, but it just screams to guys that you are an insecure self-loathing basket case. If you must obsess, obsess to your girlfriends...and even then...sheesh.
3. Be Open
If you are totally closed off, respond to every innocent offer to buy you a drink or to dance with attitude and eye rolls, no one is going to want to be with you because you are your own cock block. Just because you hit the dance floor for one dance doesn't mean you have to marry the guy. Just have fun and if it works it works, and if it doesn't, it doesn't, but you'll never know if your first response is to just ignore any and all guys who are trying to get to know you.
4. Have Thoughts In Your Head
I like staring competitions as much as the next person, but not when it comes to going on a date. The same applies for men. If someone is lobbing you a bunch of softball topics and you have nothing to say or one word answers, its hard to get to know you and what you're interests are. Say something...anything...please...it's getting so awkward!
5. Be a 21st Century Woman
Most men no longer barter for a wife, ok. You should be making your own money and doing your own thing, and have a world that exists beyond wanting to date. Being that super clingy obsessive stalker type of a woman is creepy and sad. Having the wedding books displayed on the coffee table on the first date is..a lot. Demanding things of men in order to date you, will drive pretty much all of them away.
6. Relax
Having a sense of humor about things can go along way. Bursting into tears at dinner because your drink got spilled on your dress or he's five minutes late and you have a full on melt down about time management is a bit much. What can I say, shizz happens, and rolling with the punches and just being able to laugh at the fact that you just tripped going up the stairs, really goes a long way in the "she's a cool chick" vibe.
7. Know what you want
You want to see a particular movie, you like a certain food, you don't like going to a certain place. Say so. Stop being the ditz who's always like, I don't know, whatever you want. It's exhausting. It really is. Having to plan every single date and every single thing for someone else who can't seem to figure out what they like is taxing on anybody. That goes for life too. Having dreams and goals of what you want to do in your future is exciting to someone. It makes them want to come along for the ride to see where you're going especially if you are really passionate about it.
8. Care About Yourself
I know this can get a bit touchy for some people, so I'll try and tread lightly. Never mind. F--king take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, don't smoke, avoid drugs and heavy drinking, ditch the slovenly behaviors, and put some kind of effort into your grooming and beauty routine. You shouldn't even want to do that, "for a guy," you should want to do that for you whether you have a guy or not because generally when one is happy, they take care of themselves.
On the flip side, you can't expect some guy to look good for you, and then have his expectations be less than. Yes, there are guys who like a natural woman with no make-up on, but that doesn't mean they don't care that she hasn't brushed, washed, or shaved, or ever climbed a set of stairs in a while. Not the same thing. Not giving a crap about yourself is completely unattractive. It wreaks of depression, of sadness, of someone who isn't going to do well in a relationship where there is another human being that has to see and smell you.
9. Narrow mindedness need not apply
As per number 4, you've got those good thoughts in your head...fantastic, but so do other people. If you start a conversation and refuse to let any thoughts but your own be heard or be right, it's super unattractive. Even if you seriously disagree with a guy about something that is not rooted in actual fact, but opinion based, then disagree, but don't then turn it into World War III at every turn. That's not fun for anybody, including you.
Be open to discuss and allow other thoughts into your world. If you're too busy being the defender of always being right, you're going to really miss out on how wrong you really are. This also applies to people in general too. Flaunting what your ego feels is your superior intelligence, your huge bank roll, your level 10 attractiveness, or your too good for anybody or anything attitude doesn't really inspire someone to stick around and generally nor does an apparent hatred of a certain or certain groups of people.
10. Be One Confident Mo-Fo
This list isn't some magic recipe that will guarantee you sheer happiness, but it certainly helps to be the person you, yourself, would like to attract. Numbers 1 through 9 lead you to number ten. When you're taking care of yourself, and being open to the world, and having thoughts in your head, and know what you want, and being relaxed, not being closed off, and not obsessing, and being yourself, it should help you to become that confident woman who is attractive to the men you want to attract. We like to claim that we are so different from men when it comes to dating, but at the heart of it, we want mostly the same things from men, that are on this list.
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