How I Became One of Those Girls Who Loved an A**hole

I used to laugh when my friends said "oh girls love the guys that are assholes to them"... I watched them chase the guys that weren't worth it. I watched them cry over boys that weren't men... And I didn't get it? I mean, honestly; WHO likes a guy that stands them up? That ignores their texts? That acts like he doesn't care?

Girls Love Assholes?!

WELL ladies and gentlemen, I lived to tell the story!

It started out nice... he was romantic, would text me every minute, home-made dinners, trips, flowers, gifts- the works! It wasn't long until I have fallen... 6 months in... I began to see the true side. As soon as he had me, everything stopped. Calls were kept to a minimum, if not ignored, I was the one to initiate plans, texts were 1 word "k" or "lol", forget about the little things. His true colors came out, asshole! SO WHAT DID I DO?

I tried to talk to him, I tried to rekindle the romance, I bitched and bitched some more.... nothing... It wasn't long before, I realized that I had spent the last 3 months chasing a guy that was an asshole to me! The more of an asshole he was, the harder I tried. It's like I wasn't used to having a guy reject me? It took a blow to my self esteem... I mean this was the first and only guy to treat me like I wasn't a priority, when I gave him my all. I had guys that would treat me so nicely, but i was determined to get this guy (who made me believe he was the perfect man within the first 6 months!).

So what did I do? Yeah I have to admit, I stalked him for a while. I would send the occasional message, still hoping and waiting. WHY DO I WANT HIM?! And then I stopped. Cold turkey- 2 weeks.

And guess who came crawling back? Mr. Asshole! Excuses and apologies. Have to admit, I was so happy at first. And then I remembered... his ignorance, rudeness, and of course lack of concern. But his charm was so tempting... ! Well this isn't the story about the strong female hero. I wasted 2 years of my life, on the charming asshole, who promised to change, who lied way too much and did too little.

Finally, I walked away, devastated. I couldn't believe it. I WAS THAT GIRL. Who used to watch her friends chase these unworthy guys... and I had become one! Funny how that worked out. I can see how both girls and guys get themselves into a cycle. Rose colored glasses maybe? Empty promises? Lesson learned, too bad it took me 2 years to admit that I was the girl that was chasing the asshole.


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What Guys Said 5

  • 3mo

    You should have stayed with him!
    You two made such a nice couple. Nothing wrong with that relationship, I think he truly loved you.

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  • 3mo

    Can confirm i am asshole

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  • 3mo

    Meanwhile me... https://66. media. tumblr. com/c0e238f3d6747b19d20496952e0890d7/tumblr_inline_n5hcur6Od11swsomb. png I get friend zoned for being nice

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  • 3mo

    I already knew that girls like assholes

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  • 3mo

    This was pretty good, has some good insight to it.

    I was expecting a bunch of man hate when I started reading it, but was pleasantly surprised that there was none.

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What Girls Said 7

  • 3mo

    Happened to me too. They make you think they like you and then they play hot and cold. It's manipulation really. They condition you to want the good treatment back.

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  • 3mo

    Yea we always love assholes

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  • 3mo

    I think it's more of a blow to the self esteem if you keep chasing. I know everybody says this before it happens to them, but this will never be me lol. For me, if somebody ignores me I just stop caring, and if somebody gives me reason not to like them it takes a few days and I'm over it.

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  • 3mo

    Unfortunately it's those sort of men that can become abusive and they thrive off your hope of them changing. It doesn't happen!! After 10 years of being treated badly I finally left.

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  • assholes can turn into pussies if u treat them like they do

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  • Exactly - it always starts out wonderful. That's what people don't get. Jerks don't get girls by being jerks - they get them by being sweet! And then they chip away your self esteem and lead you to accept whatever treatment they happen to give you. It absolutely sucks, but you hold out hope that he'll go back to how he was in the beginning.

    I only dated my asshole for two months, but it felt like a year. And several months later when he showed up and tried to charm me, as if he thought he could have me anytime, I didn't take the bait. Not that I blame you for not doing so; the asshole charisma is pretty darn difficult to resist. My resentment at how stupid he'd made me feel was enough to fuel my rejection of him.

    Good take! This'll give people a good view of the other side of the coin.

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    • **my relationship felt like a year not because of how attached I was to him but because of how stressful those two months were. Lol just to clarify.

    • You're a smart girl! I wish i had it in me, to walk away after 2 months like you did. I wasted 2 good years of my life, on someone who not only wasted my time, but made me forget what its like to be treated like a woman.
      I hope that you have found someone amazing to treat you like the queen that you are. :)

  • He started out nice though. This is the thing I tell guys. Most assholes don't start off with "hey bitch, give me head and I'm going to ignore you for a week". They start off sweet and charm your pants off.
    Then when they have you hooked, and they somehow know, they will reveal their ways.

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