I'm writing this myTake to debunk the myth that women are incomplete without a partner, remove the rose-tinted glasses that many people wear when they think about relationships and to offer practical advice on enjoying life as a single person and deal with people who are critical of your single status.
I have a confession: I’m 20 years old, and I have never been kissed. I’ve never had a real relationship/boyfriend/friend with benefits. You name it, I haven’t had it. Just because I’m not actively dating, it doesn’t mean I’m going to turn every guy down who approaches me. If someone came along who I really connected with, I’m open to pursuing it.Having someone to share yourself with romantically is a beautiful thing and it can bring a lot of happiness to your life. But that doesn’t mean that the alternative — being single — has to be an unhappy experience.
I'm single and not dating. Don’t get me wrong,I’d love to be in a relationship, but I’m honestly not fully invested into dating that I can’t go to sleep at night. Being single isn't about being alone, it's about being by yourself. There's a difference between the two, and the sooner you see that difference, the more excited you’ll be about the single life in front of you.
1. Know Your Value and Self Worth
A lot of toxic questions may start swirling inside of your head after being single for a long time(I'm definitely speaking from my personal experience lol). These are the following questions you should never ask yourself!!!
"Am I unattractive?"
"Am I doomed to be alone forever?"
"Am I not worthy of being loved?"
"Am I undesirable?"
"Am I ugly?"
“What if I’m not good enough?”
"Should I lower my standards?"
"Do guys hate black women?"
"Should I go on a crash diet and try to become a size 0?"
"Am I boring?"
"Am I dumb?"
"Am I not funny?"
If you keep asking yourself the wrong questions, you will never get an answer you like.
So take a deep breath and stop asking…
Don’t let your insecurities bully you into a corner. Don’t be your own victim. Forget whether or not everyone else likes you, and focus on loving yourself more. Because a fear of not being good enough is what guarantees that you never will be. Accept, define and believe in the person you are.
2. Seeking Validation From Men Will Hurt Your Self-Worth
You don’t need a man by your side to validate your beauty as a woman. You already are loved and valued by god.We all want to be liked, but changing who you are just to be liked means you're not actually liked for who you are.We are all different people who have different tastes, different ideals, different perspectives and different opinions. Just accept that some people are bound to dislike you, and it's nobody's fault.
3. Be grateful for what you already have
Each night before you go to sleep, concentrate on what you are grateful for in your life.Every tiny little thing can help create the spirit of gratitude. You may not have a romantic partner but you have other things that make you just as happy.
4. Being Single Is Better Than Being In The Wrong Relationship
One thing I’ve learnt over the past couple of years is – don’t settle for anything less than something you really want.I’ve been told a hundred times by a hundred different people that my standards are too high and I need to lower them or I won’t sleep comfortably because of all of the cats in my bed.So when people tell you that you should lower your standards, let me be the one to tell you that you should absolutely not. Don’t you dare. Because the second you lower your expectations, you’ve given up. You haven’t given up on finding somebody – you’ve given up on you. You’ve just told yourself that maybe you’re NOT worth what you thought you were.
5. Ignore People Who Pity You For Being Single
You should know yourself better and what's good for you.