Happily Never After: The Story of How I Led a Guy On

Here’s a story of a time I led a guy on. If you’re reading this, J …Sorry.

This guy and I shared a class together and for almost half the year we never acknowledged each other’s existence. It wasn’t until one day I moved seats and incidentally sat next to him. Naturally, we started talking. From then on we had very interesting conversations. (FYI, we talked about religion, philosophy and certain genres of music.)

In the beginning, we were just casual friends who only talked when we saw each other… until I asked for his phone number. I genuinely wanted us to be friends beyond the classroom. We’ve already showed each other that we could be really good friends. I took the initiative by doing that, which probably gave him an idea that I might be interested in something more. I had accidentally typed my number wrong in his phone, and for the whole long weekend he couldn’t get in contact with me. He got annoyed about that. On another note, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

As our friendship progressed, I didn’t take into account my casual sexual jokes and flirty behavior around him. I didn’t think much of it and I thought he didn’t, either. My friends noticed and when they asked about him I just shrugged. We were just really good friends in my eyes, maybe even with the possibility of being more in the future. A turning point was when I invited him to run with me at track and field try outs because that was my thing then, and he agreed even though he wasn’t sporty at all.

Long story short, I cut him off completely when he asked me about us getting into a serious relationship. I recalled that I was at a salad bar buffet when he texted out of nowhere about wanting to “go steady.” Right then and there I told him that it wasn’t happening anytime soon. It’s not like I didn’t like him that way, I just didn’t want a relationship with anyone at the moment. I also said that he should leave me alone to avoid complications. I was pretty straightforward when telling him all that.

I felt bad about it for a bit since I initiated our “friendship” and got his hopes up. It was as if we never knew each other just like in the beginning for the rest of the school year.

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Please, take your “you heartless bitch” and “people like you make me sick” comments elsewhere. Even though this post sounds incredibly pretentious, shit like this happens all the time. And if you find yourself in his situation, it’s almost always never your fault.


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What Guys Said 25

  • 3mo

    Wow you were such a bitch to that dude J!

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  • 3mo

    Thank you for sharing this. It was a good read. Also I guess I learned something? Will find out eventually I guess :p

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  • 3mo

    Lol dumb ass its is your fault becuase you could have stayes friends with him. But your a bitch so doesn't matter he's better off with out you.

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  • 3mo

    Cool story didn't read. Is that a young Robert D Niro?

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  • 3mo

    Wow I'm sorry but that is so messed up
    You have to be pretty clueless to have not seen that coming

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  • 3mo

    This is why women's existence is an eye sore in history you claim with such impunity that you shouldn't be judged but I tell you stop trying to grab hold of a place where you don't belong and HO BACK TO THE KITCHEN you dumb irresponsible loser.

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  • 3mo

    Never put all ur eggs in one basket
    Or that basket may get thrown to the ground
    And crushed
    Then you have no more eggs

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    • 3mo

      Never put yourself in a situation you can't get out of in thirty seconds or less.

  • 3mo

    Actually the title should be "how I am a slut and use people for my benefits" and yes girls like you make me sick

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    • 3mo

      I hope you get cheated on badly so that you realise how it feels... When someone does something bad to you

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    • 3mo

      It's a penny for a penny not a penny for a pound

    • 3mo

      Some people are naturally flirty, that doesn't mean that you lead everyone around you on.

  • 3mo

    Today I learned that I will never be able to understand if a girl likes me or not.

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  • 3mo

    Being led on can suck as just as much as being the one who's leading someone on.

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  • 3mo

    I dont understand how anybody can actually be this dumb not to notice the other persons interest.
    I know a guy who " unknowingly" does this to girls. Just how does that even...

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  • 3mo

    i think you handled the situation correctly. you didn't fuck him you just shot him down.

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  • 3mo

    Nope. It's definitely your fault even if it does happen all the time. You probably should have picked up on the fact that he liked you that way.

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  • 3mo

    Don't worry you'll get your heart broken one day and you'll be crying to your girlfriends about how all men are assholes.

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  • 3mo

    Your story made me think of a relationship that was about the same for me, only I broke things off with her, and like you I felt kind of crummy about it. However I still take a certain degree of pride in knowing that I never took advantage of her.

    Granted yes we did kiss a few times, and she definitely seemed very into it, which I will admit was flattering for me, but I also knew I didn't want to have sex with her, and then dump her, as I would have felt even worse than I did, as I never wanted to hurt her feelings, I just didn't want a relationship then, because I knew I was going to be going into the service and I didn't feel it would be fair for her to have to wait for me to make it through all of my training etc, etc.

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  • 3mo

    it maybe almost never be our fault but it is almost always us feeling bad for it.

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  • 3mo

    Typical woman.

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  • 3mo

    I think it is great that you wrote this! No "you heartless bitch" reprimands from me! It is a confession and act of contrition. I get it! My only thoughts:

    1) What did you learn? What can we learn? How can we avoid leading others on? What would you have done differently?

    2) Don't ever use phrasing that includes contradictory wording like "it's almost always never." Maybe "it's almost certainly not your fault?" (people like you make me sick ;) )

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  • 3mo

    You're an inspiration to all women and the reason why men will begin to take women more serious in life and the workplace. Congratulations. I commend you for your bravery and will write a letter to my congressman suggesting you for an award for your civic duty.

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  • 3mo

    Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a medal and cookie. You've performed a noble deed worth boasting about. your charity and kindness should not go unrecognized.

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What Girls Said 12

  • 3mo

    It sounds to me like he assumed way too much. I mean you guys didn't even flirt.

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    • 3mo

      Ok, define flirting, i mean I'm kind of in the same situation, the girl i believe is leading me on... Hugs me tightly, sometimes for far too long, talks about marrying her + having kids together, holds my hand, kisses me on the cheek... says that people will talk, but still carrys on! Invites me to have tea with her and her mum, Gets upset when i ignore her.. gets annoyed when i speak to other women. I'm 100% sure she's leading me on. but you can see how i fell for it😔😔😔

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    • 3mo

      @0112358 that's the best way I've ever heard of it being put.

    • 3mo

      @0112358 I always thought they nvr had girlfriends!!! That makes so much sense.

  • 26d

    This is precisely something I worry about. I get along with guys more, and therefore am more likely to befriend them. Sometimes I can't tell where their intentions are... is he suggesting we hang out because he likes my company, or because it's a veiled way at asking someone out? Maneuvering this is terrible. I hate to assume things, so I usually go along until it becomes extremely apparent.

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  • 3mo

    I was in a similar situation so I understand. Me and this guy sat next to each other in English and we got to be pretty good friends and we joked around a lot and all that and then eventually we started texting like every day and this went on for the whole school year and into the summer. Then in the summer he told me he liked me but I knew that my best friend kinda liked him too so I had to tell him that I didn't wanna be such close friends anymore. So he got kinda hurt and like blocked me on all social media lol and he pretty much ignored me. But it all ended up working out good cause now he's with my friend who likes him!

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  • 3mo

    Lol this was a shit story. So basically your a flirty bitch who led someone on then cut them off when they caught feelings? Uh.. okay thanks for sharing. Lame

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  • 3mo

    I've done much much much more bitchier things

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  • 3mo

    you didn't lead him on. he simply misunderstood what you wanting. not a big deal.

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  • 3mo

    Not to mean, but this is why guys don't ask girls out because we have people leading them on. Actually with any gender. It wasn't cool that he got frustrated with you when you gave him the wrong number, but at the same time it's not right that you didn't make it clear you weren't looking for anything. You probably knew he liked you and that probably made you feel great, I mean, who wouldn't that make feel great? But in the process it hurt someone. Usually when I see people make post like these it usually means that they got hurt as well and are angry with them. That's human and it's okay. I just hope you don't let it happen again and other people don't.

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    • 3mo

      👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 well said

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    • 3mo

      Okay that makes sense, so what are you saying that if we ask for numbers we have to say not looking for anything other than friendship. I don't know how else to put it. And no your totally right I wouldn't like being lead on, or be the one leading on. Yet it seems I keep leading people on, without having a clue on how I did that.

    • 3mo

      @19magic Yes, in that way, yeah. People now of days (in the dating world) the rules seem to be much different. I think what helps, in my opinion and my own experience is giving hints that you're only friends. Something I used to do for guy pals was call them my friends like, " oh (insert Guy's name) thanks for being an awesome friend. Or mentioning really cute guys. I know it sucks, but I rather do it that way before it goes on much further. In a way, overtime maybe, a guy will respect that and know you're not being bitchy or mean, but being real and in a polite way. Hopefully that makes a little more sense lol, I suck at describing stuff haha. XD

  • 3mo

    Would you ever consider dating him in the future if you do want a relationship?

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    • 3mo

      I don't think so. We never saw each other again after that year.

  • 3mo

    I don't know why people are always getting mad at women for doing this. We're just trying to make a friend and they're just waiting to have sex with us. Occasionally they do actually want something more but women do nothing wrong by just wanting a friend.

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    • 3mo

      Ok I agree with you there because perception is a big thing what a horny guy sees is different from what a woman see.

    • 3mo

      I think guys who are horny or just haven't gotten much attention from women in general mistake any communication from women for actually being into them.

      Once they talk to more women they, for the most part, filter out who's interested and who's just being friendly. Though there have been times where a person was into me and I didn't realize it but my friends did. It happens.

  • 3mo

    And your point is... ? I think anyone who's been alive more than 10 years knows this happens. The real question is, how do you make your intentions clear when dealing with members of the other gender so that this sort of thing *does not* occur?

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    • 3mo

      I usually just tell them straight up the truth if he pisses me off ignore him and not contact him again works like a charm.

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    • 3mo

      @NatashaJ it was weird he said he fancied me then said after I'm not gunna ask you out 1. from what you said before (brother thing) and 2. Drunk me would end up cheating on you

    • 3mo

      @19magic huh weird or maybe something changed his mind.

  • 3mo

    Hold up... didn't everyone read the title... " the story of how I led a guy on" if you can title that then it was intentional and you were just playing with him. If you really wanted to BE FREINDS then you wouldn't have cut him off... period. You would've been honest with your intentions and remained friends. Js

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  • 3mo

    To be honest, I cannot see what you did wrong. It must have been disappointing to him, but you can never know what another person wants. At least you've told him that it wasn't going to happen (although it was a bit harsh... and maybe a bit late)

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