8 Reasons Why I've Rejected Guys or Just Suddenly Lost Interest

[ginny_weasley]

Out of all the guys who have asked me out, these stuck out the most. They are different guys but I think several of them can overlap with reason number two.

I am so glad to have the boyfriend I have now. I met him in an English class we were taking together. He asked me if I wanted to grab lunch and the rest is history. I was wearing zero makeup and my hair was tied back but he still wanted to grab lunch. He insisted on paying and he is very kind. Plus he has a beard. I feel he is easy to talk to and he is constantly making me laugh.

1. It was obvious he only cared for my body instead of my personality or mind.

This happened in middle school. I remember he had some friends ask me out for him. When I said no because I suspected he only liked me for body and nothing else. One of his friends said verbatim, "Why? He said you have nice boobies." In that case, I was right and that warrants a double rejection.

2. He was an arrogant prick.

I liked his face, but when he opened his mouth, my brain would get angry.

3. He shamed me for reading.

Reading is one of my favorite things to do. If he hates that I read, we won't work.

4. I found out his closest friend also liked me.

I didn't want to make him choose, so I cut ties myself. Especially since I wouldn't want to choose between a close friend and a guy. But if I had to, the friend will always win because friends are forever.

5. He said he didn't like smart girls.

I could see see he wasn't doing well in a history class we were both taking. I offered to tutor him, he got upset that I am better at something than he was. He ended up dropping the class.

6. Wanted me to watch Game of Thrones at his house when we just met.

I knew him for maybe a few months. He got a hold of me through Facebook and said he wanted to watch the latest episode together. He knew I wasn't caught up which is an asshole move by itself. Plus did he really think we were just going to watch Game of thrones. I will pass because I am so not into that and I blocked him on Facebook.

Edit: There are apparently people who live under a goddamn rock and have never heard of the phrase, "Netflix and Chill" do you honestly think that his plans were to just watch game of thrones? Especially when I wasn't even caught up?

7. He was rude to the waiter.

The poor waiter didn't deserve how he treated him. As someone who is a server, it is the most awkward thing when two people are on a date and it's not going well. They usually try to talk to me as much as they can.

8. He had a girlfriend but would hit on me.

This counts for a double rejection.

[WillowTree]

#2 THIS is a big one. I really like your description too.

#3 I will NEVER understand guys who do this. I say I'm into something and they tease it? Like what sort of reaction do you expect? Am I supposed to be flattered that you think me doing what I love is a stupid waste of time? Am I supposed to giggle at the fact you think I'm dumb and should be ashamed for liking something you're not into? Should I be turned on that you feel superior to me because you feel my interests are inferior to yours?

[Waffles731]

"7. He was rude to the waiter.
The poor waiter didn't deserve how he treated him. As someone who is a server, it is the most awkward thing when two people are on a date and it's not going well. They usually try to talk to me as much as they can."
You can learn a lot about a man by how they treat the waiter

[FakeName123]

About people in general. If the girl would treat a waiter like shit, it would be a dealbreaker for me as well.

[Waffles731]

@FakeName123
I used Man as a general term for human being there

[FakeName123]

Fair enough.

[TesticleMonster]

1.) maybe your personality or mind isn't so special and you need to work on that part of yourself instead of just effortlessly being a bitch all the time
2.) so you can do it and he can't do it? double standard much?
3.) i'll refer you to the onion for this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0-gZygKv6c

4.) he is not in control of his friend. expecting him to be is stupid.
5.) again, i'll refer you to the onion. only gender swapped.
www.theonion.com/.../area-mans-intelligence-probably-just-too-intimidat-33916
6.) so just dont go watch it with him. don't block him and have a temper tantrum because he wanted to watch a tv show. thats INCREDIBLY stupid.
7.) eh.
8.) maybe he wasn't hitting on you. because i get the picture that you just live in your own little world. hard to imagine you see anything clearly.

[ginny_weasley]

Did you read the edit? He obviously didn't want to watch GOT.

[btbc92]

100% true, and these are the most immature men I can never see myself dating or marrying. Good thing you did reject them. Those are most of my main reasons as well. Especially #1. That is intuitive thinking! Listen. Because you'll regret it if you didn't. #4 However I wouldn't be involve with such people who do that. Its best to end it. Its not about choosing one over the other. It shouldn't have to be that way. If one person cannot except the other for dating you, there is a problem. Its a sign that says, stay out of it. Jealousy is never a good thing. #6 don't mind hanging out at someones house, but not alone. There needs to be somebody else there with us, or forget it. And if I sense danger or something not right, I will not go. I would never expect to do the same to somebody else. There has to be trust. No trust or not enough trust, don't risk it.

[vonasaurus]

all of these, with the exception of #6, are deal-breakers for me.

for #6, it all depends on how much i like and/or trust the guy. on the second date with my now-boyfriend of 2 years, he picked me up after work and we went to his place, where we had awesome sex until 5 in the morning and he cooked me an awesome pasta supper. that said, game of thrones spoilers=super not cool.

#3 is the most important to me; i am an avid reader, writer, and literature major, meaning that books are life.

https://i.imgur.com/DUOm8.jpg?fb

[ginny_weasley]

#6 that's super cute! I don't really open up to people. To me, it was a big deal to go to lunch with a guy I just met. Especially when I made myself lunch. I don't have a problem with people who have sex before marriage. If the relationship I have with my boyfriend is serious, I would consider having sex before marriage. If we were engaged, I would consider it more seriously. Plus the guy on #6 is almost ten years older than me, yet wasn't weirded out by my age.

[vonasaurus]

i'm an introvert with an anxiety disorder, so i definitely get where you're coming from. but my gut feeling told me that he was different and has yet to be wrong about a person, so i just rolled with it lol.

age matters significantly less after you hit 18 (when i was your age, i dated a 33y/o guy i worked with~ in my defense, i thought he was younger). but you should never feel pressured to do anything (sexual or otherwise) that you aren't super into.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

1- that's fucked up. Not on your part, but that dude trusted his friend and he fucked it up 😑. Never talk about stuff you talk with your boys about other girls... ESPECIALLY to that girl! He might've liked you for other reasons, but hey, he also thought you had nice boobies 😂

4- that's also fucked up... But on your part. Now, bros before hoes does exist unless you call dibs. And it's fair game if neither of them knows the other liked you. To reject a dude for that is pretty fucked

6- that's harsh. Maybe he wanted to Netflix and chill, but to block him for even suggesting watching got? In bird culture, that's what we call, "a dick move" 😂😂😂... Bonus if you can name the reference 👌

[YourFutureEx]

Okay but #4 really?
lurkmore.so/.../180px-Facepalm.svg.png

(Thanks @Unit1 for the image)

[ginny_weasley]

If I found out my friend liked the same guy I liked, the friend wins. Always. But only if we're really close.

[YourFutureEx]

But that was not your problem. That was HIS problem.

[ginny_weasley]

I know but he clearly couldn't handle his own problems because he couldn't make up his mind. And I would rather not ruin a good friendship over a relationship that probably won't work out. We were in middle school so that could explain it.

[Unit1]

Wheres muh upvote :p? ^^
just kidding :)

[YourFutureEx]

Oh alright :|

[Unit1]

number 4 is completely ridiculous! Like seriously
lurkmore.so/.../180px-Facepalm.svg.png
(I'd just assume you weren't worthy anyway if that was the reason)

But the other reasons are very good reasons to reject someone! Especially when it comes to learning about his habits and behaviors with the other people like number 7 describes.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

So, there wasn't ONE time you rejected a guy, solely on his financial status, looks, or both? I'm curious.

I agree, these are good reasons.

[ginny_weasley]

I would never reject a guy based on his financial status. I am still dependent on my parents. It would be hypocritical for me to reject him because he isn't in the best financial situation. I have rejected a guy because I wasn't physical attracted to him. Physical attraction is just as important as the personality.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

That's unusual for a woman, because women (especially young women) tend to do some "gold-digging." That's why famous men in general can get any woman. Usually, guys put looks before anything else.

The guy you rejected because you didn't find him good looking, what did you tell him? Did you just say "You're not my type"?

[Malloy1997]

@EnglishArtsteacher I don't know why but the only girls who care about looks the most are ugly, and fat girls. I see it all the time at my college, and I saw it in high school. I've known so many girls who were seriously overweight rejecting guys because they were too "fat"(imagine that) or too "ugly." Yet, all of the good looking girls were open to dating nerds, heavy set guys, and so on. I have literally no idea why either, but it's so backwards.

[ginny_weasley]

I was in middle school. I hadn't really rejected anybody so I just said no and was too embarrassed to give a reason why.

[ginny_weasley]

@Malloy1997 hmm I love the nerds. And chubbiness can be really attractive.

[MagiAlphaOne]

ginny_weasley, You don't now. But you will later!

According to 2010 Census data, the median paycheck for Americans is $26,364, which means half of Americans made more and half made less.

Most women can’t see themselves dating a man who makes $26,000 or less. The average man cannot afford a girlfriend, let alone get married.

[19magic]

@MagiAlphaOne okay so this is not in dollars but dad earns 17 grand that doesn't mean anything, my uncle earned around 35 grand. In my perspective of the two personalities was that my uncle never made his money Cound and was more superficial.

[QuestionMan]

#5 could have been an opportunity to bond.
Although I'm good at history, if there was a girl that would tutor me in Math that would be awesome.
We'd become a lot closer that way.

[ginny_weasley]

That's what I saw it as. Too bad he didn't.

[QuestionMan]

His loss.

[Nothanks700]

Lol. #6 is ridiculous and oddly specific. "I'm sorry, but we have to break up because I find it heinous that you would ask me to watch Game of Thrones with you already"

[ginny_weasley]

I wasn't even caught up. Do you honestly think he just wanted to watch game of thrones? Have you heard of the phrase, Netflix and chill? Sorry, not into casual hookups.

[Nothanks700]

I don't know, I personally enjoy watching GOT with other people.

[ScottieO]

You knew him for months and you're acting like a total stranger came up to you and asked. Harsh as hell. Just because he's interested in you and wanted to spend time with you doesn't mean he wanted to rail you immediately.

[DeezNutz33]

Why the game of thrones thing I mean I get thinking he was just trying to get you over to his house so he could try something but you said it was an asshole move because you were behind wouldn't offering to help you catch up be a nice gesture

[DeezNutz33]

Besides that it was a good take very informative and I'm glad to see I'm not a totally morally bankrupt asshole as I haven't done any of these points

[ginny_weasley]

No, it was the most current episode which is season 6. At the time I was still somewhere in season three. In fact I was so far behind, I hadn't seen the red wedding episode. And he knew that and he no problem showing me spoilers.

[ginny_weasley]

Thanks! I am sure there are bigger assholes out there.

[DeezNutz33]

Maybe lol but that makes a lot of sense why anyone would think that's a good idea is beyond me

[Ladyslipper]

Number 7 is such a big deal to me, I will never associate myself with someone who treats waiters or cashiers badly, that is so embarrassing. As a former cashier I can tell you I have burst into tears 3 times because customers were being so angry and mean to me over things I had no control over. After the 3rd time I quit.

[thewanderingme]

#4 is a really stupid reason to reject someone.. I guarantee you unless you're hideous there's always going to friends, including very close friends, of the guy you're in a relationship that will also be into you.

[ginny_weasley]

I don't need a reason to reject anyone and I certainly don't need to excuse myself for a relationship from freaking middle school that wouldn't have worked out and at the end a friendship would've been ruined. The last I checked those two guys are still friends. But they sure as hell don't ever contact me. I redirect you to what @btbc92 said-
#4 However I wouldn't be involve with such people who do that. Its best to end it. Its not about choosing one over the other. It shouldn't have to be that way. If one person cannot except the other for dating you, there is a problem. Its a sign that says, stay out of it. Jealousy is never a good thing

[thewanderingme]

was not the point of this entire my take to give us your "reasons"? so, clearly, yes you do feel the need not only to give reasons but also to justify them with your explanations. be real.

[ginny_weasley]

Obviously I wrote a whole my take about it. But I don't need to excuse myself. I could be single for the rest of my life is I want. Meanwhile, I will build my empire.

[thewanderingme]

I never said you did. yet, you are. you must agree with me. otherwise you wouldn't keep going on about it.

[ginny_weasley]

Still, I am not wrecking a good friendship over a middle school relationship that will never work out.

[Jamesol1]

Damn.. i would love to watch game of thrones with a girl i liked.. guess thats out of the window if i might risk getting blocked out of her life.. honestly if it was just a movie then ok... but game of thrones like... he clearly likes the show and would like to have someone to watch it with him to add to the excitement.

[TheSpartan]

1. I guess. I'm not sure how you would know, though.
2. How do you determine if someone is arrogant vs. confident?
3. That happens?
4. Well, shit, that's not the guy's fault.
5. Do people actually say that?
6. Lol what? How is that a bad thing?
7. It depends on the waiter.
8. How do you know he was flirting with you? I've accidentally and inadvertently flirted with women before when I had a girlfriend.

[smahala1991]

Those are actually good reasons to reject a significant other. I would feel the same way if someone was like that to me

[Shorty1991]

Love this take. I can relate to 1, 2 and 8. But you forgot one. 9 Took to long to act on it.

[fiodor99]

not only waiters but how they treat their family as well. yeah that seaks tons for the person.

[ginny_weasley]

I totally agree. As someone who works minimum wage at a food service job to get through college, I didn't find it amusing at all.

[mattty]

Id say treating people in general. I remember a girl that liked me. She was actually really nice to me but really bitchy and rude to other people. I figured she was nice to me only because she liekd me but eventually she would be mean to me too later on so I dropped her. And it turned out I was right. She wasn't nice to me anymore.

[ginny_weasley]

@mattty if a guy acted that way to me, I would've assumed something similar or that he just wants something.

[stillagoodgirl]

True, I hate when guys wanna tease me and call me nerdy

[Zorax]

Good reasons in my opinion, except maybe for number 4. Very good Take.

[Truthatanycost]

Sometimes number 1 is due to the fact that you aren't that interesting.

[ginny_weasley]

Or he was a middle school idiot. But whatever.

[Truthatanycost]

Having the ability to look at ourselves as well as at others is a useful skill...

[ginny_weasley]

Maybe. But if he thinks I am boring that's fine. I validate my existence by what others think of me. I would rather have a night in instead of going and getting black out drunk. If that makes me boring, fine. Some people are so boring they need alcohol to sound interesting.