Dating A Co-Worker: The Pros and Cons

[GirlNextBored]

This might not be a typical office romance story, but most of the pros and cons I think of are.

First, a little background: I dated a guy from my office in secret for four months before anyone found out. Four months of perfect relationship solitude where no one in our workplace had any idea we were seeing each other outside of the office. We were both surprised we were able to keep it going so long without getting caught but shoot we weren't about to tell anyone lol.

Then suddenly one day - while we were out of town on a camping trip no less - we were busted! A group from work went the same time we did. We were all shocked to see each other there. Since my boyfriend and I were sharing a tent it was obvious we were together, so we didn't have any excuses. It was out of the bag at that point!

So, since then I've been dating a co-worker in public view of everyone in my workplace. It's as equal part fun as it is frustrating.

CONS

(1) Everyone knows your business - if he and I are arguing, or even having a bad day, everyone knows it. They all want to know what he did wrong or how I'm overreacting. It's difficult to find peace when all you really want is to be left alone.

(2) You don't have any "me" time - I don't want to sound silly here but in all seriousness every relationship does need it's alone time. When you work with your partner you really don't have that, you feel like you are with them all the damn time!

(3) Management disapproves - it's not breaking the rules since we are in separate departments, but it's obvious certain members of management aren't happy with us dating. Others could care less, but there are a few who find it irritating. We had to discover who those are and try not to appear together at work around them as juvenile as that may sound.

PROS

(1) You're constantly horny - OMG YES! Like most women I like a nicely dressed man, and my boyfriend really enjoys nicely dressed women. We are that and more everyday in our office; seeing the person you are most attracted to dressed so handsomely, well it's difficult not to want to undress them lol. Honestly I think no one is better at the "clothes half on-clothes half off" fuck than we are.

(2) Co-workers stick up for you - now the flip side to everyone knowing your business is, when you have a bad day they naturally assume it's his fault, and when he comes by they will give him grief for not treating me better. It's actually fun to watch him squirm, and it's even managed to secure me flowers on one occasion - even when he did nothing wrong lol

(3) I get to spend quality time with my man - I mentioned not feeling like you have alone time, but the plus to that is I do get a lot of quality time with my boyfriend. I get lunch with him whenever I want. When it's slow we take a long coffee break at a nearby Starbucks and spend time just being together. It's little intimate moments like that I couldn't have if I worked elsewhere.

It's challenging everyday, but with the right person - and the right situation - it can be worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

I dated a woman at work back when I was around 25. It was awful and she was such a psycho I left the job and took another. I was a practicing medical professional and she was in an assisting type of role. My main focus was on the patients, and to have to deal with her stuff on the side was something I could not work with. I was so embarrassed that I dated her that I didn't go to management. Aside from that, it was much better to leave anyway and I found a more professional job. Lessons learned... Wow!

[Soshy]

I am in a relationship with a colleague of mine. I have never ever considered what would happen if we broke up, which is weird. I don't feel like he would make a big scene if we did break up. So far no one knows about us and I'd prefer to keep it that way.

[APValerius]

I find these pros & cons very informative and agreeable. However, YEARS before I read this, I made up my mind: I will NEVER, I repeat, *NEVER* date a coworker! Considering my luck in relationships, my perspective is this: if we find our relationship turning onto Breakup Boulevard, she still works there and so do I. One of us has to get a job elsewhere, and that one of us is ALWAYS ME. Considering my luck with employment, I had a perfectly good job and ruined it by entering into the wrong romantic relationship. Now I just gotta go home, sit on my ass drawing disability until I'm over her, and look for another job. I CAN prevent all that by NEVER dating a coworker. So I WILL prevent it.

[bloodmountain1990]

You forgot a big con. What about if you break up and are still working together? I've seen coworkers date and then break up and still work together. Only bad things have come from it and the boss ended up having a no dating policy because he didn't want it to affect the business.

[GirlNextBored]

That would be a huge con truth be told.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yep, don't shit where you eat lol

[PrincessofNohr]

Sorry, but I would never, EVER date a coworker. If something goes wrong and they're the vengeful type, there's a good chance they will work towards torpedoing your career, which can ruin your life for good. One fling isn't worth the price of your livelihood.

[GirlNextBored]

If something goes wrong with ANYONE you date and they're the vengeful type they can make your life a living hell , at your job, your home, your social hangouts, etc. basically if you ex is psycho and vengeful it doesn't matter if you work with them or not they are bad news to your life.

[PrincessofNohr]

True, but I'm talking in a more subtle, underhanded way. Spreading false rumors, making you look bad to the boss, etc. While it may not be as dangerous as a real psycho, this kind of backstabbing is almost impossible to stop and there's nothing legally wrong with it unless it goes way too far. And in the job market today, one bad recommendation and you're not getting an interview. It just wouldn't be a risk I'm willing to take, no matter how much fun it may be.

I also think the awkwardness isn't fair to the manager or other co-workers, since it makes their work lives more difficult than they have to be. If I were a boss and two co-workers were having trouble doing their jobs because of a break-up, I'd probably say "pack your bags, go find another place to work".

[GirlNextBored]

If they release you due to performance related issues that's one thing. If they dismiss you because you once dated someone you worked with and it's causing an uncomfortable air around the office - and it's not against company policy to date coworkers - they set themselves up for a lawsuit. As long as your performance hasn't been affected.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

If there dicks and want to dismiss you for dating a coworker even if it doesn't affect performance or cause a conflict of interests they would be looking for a legal excuse to dismiss you. They wouldn't do it based on something they could get a law suit for but they if they want you gone that's bad even if they don't have a reason they can create one!

[Ses1992]

Yeah, I have been tempted to go there at times esp when you get a crush on a cute supervisor which is worse cause he is your superior lol. It is def not worth it. Now if you are former co-workers, that is a different story.

[Anonymous]

What about being able to act out rough office sex in the office?

[GirlNextBored]

LOL the idea of having sex in the office has crossed our minds but we like our jobs too much

[NajemEddine]

its bad specially is she is the jealous type
moreover i dont wnt to see her at work and at house

[NajemEddine]

let me ask u this about CONS1 and PROS2
if u treated him bad will they stick up for him or that goes one side only

[GirlNextBored]

LOL yeah it goes both ways

[NajemEddine]

i doubt that since u didn't talk about it

[GirlNextBored]

Um k whatever

[RedVulcan]

The number 2 pro sounds pretty sadistic actually. I would never enjoy seeing a loved one squirm.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yeah that would be a huge negative for me. It would not be conducive to a professional work environment.

[RedVulcan]

@ArrowheadSW That too. Having other coworkers come up to me distracting me for no reason other than they believe they know how I'm doing my relationship wrong and that I should fix it wouldn't be good at a job.

[GirlNextBored]

@RedVulcan that is a distraction and it's more men than women that do this

[RedVulcan]

@GirlNextBored Nobody should do it.

[Anonymous]

"and when he comes by they will give him grief for not treating me better. It's actually fun to watch him squirm, and it's even managed to secure me flowers on one occasion - even when he did nothing wrong lol"

So you enjoy seeing men suffer for your own personal gain? Well then...

[Anonymous]

Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but there are no perks about having a work related relationship. People should keep their work and private lives separate.

I find your third point of the pros category saddening, "I get to spend quality time with my man at work", if you can't see how saddening that is then that in itself is sad to read. Try spending time together outside of work like most couples do.

[kittykatbrat]

Been there done this too many times in the past.

pros = none
cons = none

[kittykatbrat]

*cons = many

[Browneye57]

I married one of my legal secretaries 23 years ago!
The company actually made me fire her!

Bottom line: if you value your job don't date anyone where you work. Or as they say, don't shit where you eat. :)

[Ses1992]

That's true, I've heard that one before! Haha!

[Guy83]

There are no pros. It's always a terrible idea. I hooked up with a co worker at my job in college, and she tried to ruin my life. To this day I can't be friends with anyone named Kim lol.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yeah some bad people will actually try to ruin your life! Not sure what sick satisfaction they get from that. I had it happen at work with a woman I dated also.

[StickStickity13]

Nope it's a bad idea, if you fight or break up, it's very awkward

[Sabretooth]

you better see yourself married to this person! i believe you shouldn't start dating til you're ready... that goes double for this!

[Anonymous]

It good to relieve from boring n stressful office routine

[TheSpartan]

The chick in the first photo has an amazing ass.

[YellowCactus]

nahhh, the chick on the last picture is the best :P

[colourz]

You forgot office sex OP.

[Asingh]

CONS: Deep down, she would prefer the boss :D