What It's Like Being a Female Player

My personal journey...

Here goes! I wouldn't describe myself as drop-dead gorgeous. In fact, I simply take care of myself. Hair, makeup, nails, dressing up, fit body and with a smile on my face- pretty much always. To the public eye, I am the sweet, innocent girl with a great sense of humor, and an easy going personality.

It all began in high school. My best friend Tina had her heart broken by a guy who was dating her and 4 others! She didn't know at the time, but when she found out...for some odd reason she wanted him more? I watched from the sidelines, girls talking about what big "players" boys are. Girls getting stood up, toyed with and treated like they are the flavor of the month...

In fact even movie culture and TV shows portrayed males as the usual cheaters and players. I found it funny.

I entered college and started dating. I wanted a boyfriend and was surrounded by lots of males, and it wasn't long before it all spiraled out of control.

I remember one evening I had agreed to coffee with a classmate; he was cute and I was looking forward to it. Alternatively, another classmate of mine had also asked me out the same evening. The thought of options and plans made me excited, so I scheduled one after another. It was exciting!

The first guy was super funny, but the second was extremely intelligent. I just couldn't believe how comforting it felt to see different attributes from different people.

I got my first "playing" high! AND I LOVED IT! It wasn't long before I was scheduling several dates a night! It was so fun to come home from a date, change and then head out for another adventure! I mean some nights I had to have 2 dinners, or see the same movie twice in 1 week, or even have to go to a different part of the city so I wouldn't be spotted by my previous dates. It was so exciting!

Guys would try to make me their girlfriend but I just blew them off and acted unattainable. And WOW did they pursue me even more, it's like I was on top of the world!

In my second year of college, I met a guy and he was different. He was a gentleman and actually seemed to possess all the qualities I look for in a guy. Two months in we were official, things were going great- until the fights started to happen a year in. We would break up and get back together every week! And that's when the old me came back. I started to date again, in the midst of my crazy so called "relationship".

I was seeing my "bf" and 2 other guys that I liked. I would hide my phone, worry about being seen, watch what I say and ultimately it would all come to an end. I cared about my "bf", and had hopes that he would be the same person I met again. I didn't want to let go of the comfort. Meanwhile, the other guys provided me with what my boyfriend didn't. One was a stockbroker and would take me on expensive shopping sprees and dinners, the others would be at my beck and call and would follow me around like a puppy...... and it was just so tempting, I never really thought about my next move.

A few months later, it all came to blows. My suitor dropped me off at home and I gave him a hug goodbye. As he drove away, my "bf" jumped out of nowhere and proceeded to question me, about who that was. I was taken back and before I could say a word, he grabbed my phone and saw the text messages. I could see the pain in his eyes. He smashed my phone on the ground and drove off.

This was the first sign...that what I was doing wasn't a game for everyone. It was fun for me, but people have feelings. What was I doing?

It was spring break and I took a few days to spend alone. I thought about the two guys I was seeing. And where was it all going? Nowhere. It was a matter of fun and convenience.

Exactly one month in, I told both that I'm seeing someone else (which was the easiest way I could find getting out of this mess). Eventually even my "bf" came back to try and make things work. I said "no".

This whole experience changed me. I went from being a kid that wanted to have fun and didn't care about people's feelings, to someone who finally decided: I CAN'T. The stress of it all made me focus on things like myself.

Today I am living with my current boyfriend of over 3 years. I am loyal and dedicated to him. Unfortunately, a big part of me misses the fun and games of dating so many people, but it's time to grow up. At the end of the day, I filled a void with meaningless dates and people, but at the end of the night, it is me who wasn't pleased with myself.


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What Guys Said 62

  • 2mo

    No. Sorry. Somehow all this is supposed to be based on the fact that your bestie in highschool got cheated on? So you decided it is alright to cheat cause some asshole did? And that wasn't even on you?
    No. You've no right to play someone else's feelings, I would have agreed if the guys had it coming or were players themselves, but no, you're just as bad as any of those assholes who think they're entitled to use women. I'm sorry, I rarely ever say this, but, you were just a bitch who got caught.

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    • 2mo

      This isn't being fair. Yeah not all guys are jerks but no girl (or boy to be fair) deserves to be cheated on and she didn't exactly cheat on her 'bf' see those speech marks genius? They're there because it wasn't official because he was a douche and they liked each other but it wasn't enough she's happy now and that's all that matters so please find something better to do with your life than criticize hers

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    • 2mo

      Upvote 4 u bruh

    • 2mo

      @ThisDudeHere thanks bruh.

  • 2mo

    I think a better title for this MyTake is "what it's like being a female narcopath."

    No, seriously. You enjoyed the feeling of power you got leading these men on and making them think they had a shot. You didn't know what your next "move" would be. You lived a life of secrecy and hid your phone messages so you could have your cock and eat it too. You used men to get various things you wanted. You "decided" to have feelings. You just suddenly switched feelings on one day. You manipulated dates so they wouldn't find out you were dating other people.

    You were playing chess with other people as the pieces. That's not a typical mindset, what the actual fuck?

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    • 2mo

      Let me just add, it's not that it takes exceptional talent or intelligence to do something like this- on the contrary, seeing that you got caught. It's just that most people don't choose to. If I wanted to lie to people and mentally fuck with people and go out of my way to crush them, I probably could, but I never would because that's fucked up. Mentally playing mind games with others as pieces is crossing the line in my eyes. Even if you're intelligent enough to do that, that doesn't mean you should or can.

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    • 2mo

      Alright, I apologize for the outburst. There are some things that bother me, and anything having to do with manipulation bothers me because of the effect it can have on people.

      It's not so black and white. You realized it was wrong and you stopped. That's the important thing. Apologize for my outburst, this just made me feel really angry for some reason.

    • 2mo

      no real intelligent or ethical person would live this way. only a broken manipulative narcissist... .

  • 2mo

    Monogamy isn't for everyone.

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    • 2mo

      RIght you are, but Polygamous persons should only stay with Polygamous persons, just as Monogamous persons should stay with Monogamous persons.

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    • 2mo

      Oh, I see, I thought them to be the same thing.

    • 2mo

      @Giacomanzo It's a common misconception.
      Personally I support polyamory but not multi-spouse unions. I feel like the latter would be too unstable especially when raising a child. To each their own though.

      I would never tell anyone they couldn't be in a multi-spouse union.

  • 2mo

    GREAT Take! This is what most female players wind up feeling, I'm sure. But our media tends to glorify them as 'hip' 'smart' women who always come out on top, just as it tends to do with guy players.

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  • 2mo

    Some people are just not meant to be monogamous to one person

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  • 2mo

    Sounds too embellished... fake.

    It's funny though, to see how girls are admiring you but then they're the first ones to cry if a guy plays them xD The hypocrisy is quite beautiful. They don't do it cause they're ugly and can't, but if they could, they'd be players too.

    Anyways, nice story, but if you wanna make a fake story believable, you gotta learn how to sell them.

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  • 2mo

    Who are you?

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    • 2mo

      Please.. message me I can keep useful ex-player to dodge current players

  • 2mo

    even if they exist they are not going to go for beta males like me

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  • 2mo

    Make a move towards honesty, slowly but surely. Old habits die hard. Repressing it isn't obviously what you wanna do. Try to overcome it by opening up.

    You'll live a better life for it. You'll be a better person. You'll love better, you'll love yourself and learn to love others.

    You can be completely honest about your desire for polygamy and have loving polygamous relations based on communication and trust. You won't be breaking people and walking all over them for your own personal thrill. And if you truly can't resist playing with people, when you have a pang of conscience next time, if there is one, you should truly seek out a therapist.

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  • 2mo

    I don't call that playing the field, that's dating. It's playing when you are lying to people and telling them you're monogamous. I'm going to go ahead and give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you probably weren't sleeping with all of these guys? Players close and are clinical, and unapologetic. Their mindset is best exemplified by the Jay-Z hit"Big Pimpin'" . Google the lyrics. Players have a certain mindset of living their lives to the fullest and making the most of their youth. So they don't just date, they can get into a girl's head and get her to give up the ass very early on. They turned of their heart so they never actually fall for the girl, so they don't get attached or hurt. Players are extremely intelligent, if they're good at it the women they date will never know. It's also an addiction, once a player starts it's hard to give it up. Players are really selfish people. The attitude is " I'm only young once, if I can pull it off... why not?" But they can seriously damage a woman's psyche. You have to be almost sociopathic to do it over a long time.

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  • 2mo

    its ok to be a female player

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  • 2mo

    hoes gonna hoe. so what? want a medal?

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  • 2mo

    This wasn't as sexy as I thought it would be.

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  • 2mo

    If a female has many partners, she's not a player. She's a slut.

    That's a negative status because it shows the incompetence of your filtering mechanism.

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  • 2mo

    You're a gold digger and the only thing you achieve to do is to promote the stereotype that all women are bitches and gold diggers.

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  • 2mo

    lol female player? girl please any girl can do that its quite easy men will never turn a woman down you can literally date 15 guys at once, men who are players are thought of as cool cause getting one girl to like you and date you is hard enough let alone another 3 or 4 , but for girls its easy just show some skin and you're good to go.

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  • 2mo

    "Today I am living with my current boyfriend of over 3 years. I am loyal and dedicated to him. Unfortunately, a big part of me misses the fun and games of dating so many people, but it's time to grow up. At the end of the day, I filled a void with meaningless dates and people, but at the end of the night, it is me who wasn't pleased with myself."

    You could be playing us right now. I dont trust a word you say. And female players are called hoes.

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  • 2mo

    A female player? I think you mean a gold digging sloot

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    • 2mo

      gold digging? sweetie i make more in a month than you do in a year. thanks to something I like to call my education ;)

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    • 2mo

      I doubt you earned it through hard work. Probably got some job at your wealthy dads business. anyways lol kys

    • 2mo

      @Jamesol1 dont forget the bjs

  • 2mo

    I actually enjoy girls that are players. my ex girlfriend use to go out and hook up with guys then come home to me and tell me all about it. we had great sex then! it was hot know a guy came in her and here i was giving her head. I wish i could meet a girl like her again!

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  • 2mo

    > female
    > player

    Yeah right lol...

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What Girls Said 25

  • 2mo

    While most of the things you said are probably true to some extent, many of the details just seem impossible. Like your boyfriend being an apparent magician...
    But yeah, I guess all stories could do with some embelishment... or half-truths.

    The moral of the story, however, was made.

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  • 2mo

    There's no justifying using someone else for your own personal egocentric reasons, and for cheating on your boyfriend. You really didn't give a shit about those guys, it was all about the thrill for you, (at least, that's what I gathered from this take) and even though you say 'a big part of me misses the fun and games' I really hope you *have* grown up.

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  • 2mo

    When I think of player, I think of an individual who's arrogant, self absorbed and able to manipulate people into doing things for them along with using the other gender for sex.

    What you did was date men and cheat on your boyfriend.

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    • 2mo

      BS. She pretty much took advantage of every guy she had, while letting them believe they were important in any way beyond inflating her ego. She didn't give a damn about any of them and might as well have dumped them and/or humiliated them just for fun. Think she isn't that kind of person? Think again.

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    • 2mo

      "One was a stockbroker and would take me on expensive shopping sprees and dinners, the others would be at my beck and call and would follow me around like a puppy..."

      This right here is called playing. It is described as takin advantage of sexual prominence to gain other favors - like expensive dinners and idiotic worship. Players are not only the people that promiss you the world and discard you afterwards. Anyone who pretty much puts on a mask for selfish reasons or who keeps people stringed around, never really going anywhere, is a player. Dating is a game, but it's a terrible one when an actual player is involved.

    • 2mo

      @RedHood7 she cheated on her boyfriend with the stockbroker. Who was a date. If he insisted to pay for her (as dates are traditionally orientated that way. Guy pays).

      "Players are not only the people that promise you the world and discard you afterwards" that's how I see players. People who just mask themselves and use people for selfish reasons are just selfish people in my opinion

  • 2mo

    You were a serial dater and dishonest. A player is much more than you've actually done.

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  • 2mo

    Was your boyfriend you have now a player before?

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  • 2mo

    This is an informative and honest take. Thanks for sharing.

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  • 2mo

    Wow just wow u should write a book on this man ud be best seller. I'll be first to read it too.😍😛😋

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  • 2mo

    Yes I understand, i'm the type of person who doesn't judge people because nobody is perfect first of all and when one is young especially one is not mature well in modt cases it's that way. Thanks for sharing your story, I feel like that is the reason why woman cheat, because their boyfriend is not being a good boyfriend or in your case he wasn't the same person that you met. In the end of the day things happen for a reason and that is to teach us a lesson. It's great that you took the time off to work on yourself and glad to hear that you have changed your ways (:

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  • 2mo

    you cheated on your boyfriend.. and you lead on other guys into thinking you were interested in a relationship when you were not... you were a terrible person.. I hope you really have changed

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  • 2mo

    Very honest take, thanks for this! And great to hear you've grown and now have a successful long term relationship.

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  • 2mo

    i dated 2 guys too...
    1st my ex broke with me i was alone for a year and cried about him, but then i met a new guy, good looking, smart and rich and dated him and my ex appeared, so i gave him a chance. But my new guy is very jealous and i had to stop date ex

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  • 2mo

    Girls like you bother me. Guys never give me a second look because I am ugly. I've never been asked out because of it. You have all these guys who want you, and you treat them like trash. It's not fair to lead people on like that. I'd give anything for a guy to like me, and I'd do anything to make him happy.

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  • 2mo

    This just seems like drawn out take to justify your cheating. You're not s player, you're a cheater. Stop making excuses.

    As someone who plays the field and doesn't date exclusively, this is just bullshit.

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  • 2mo

    I think what you were looking for was just friends. They might not pay for eveything for you, but you can go on adventures. And the best part is, you can have as many friends as you want, all at the same time

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    • 2mo

      What she should be looking for is solitude so as to not continue to damage other people.

      She's going to cheat in a few weeks here, otherwise she wouldn't have felt the need to previously define her reasoning for her actions here and now.

    • 2mo

      I think the most reason is attention players love it actually we all do but we don't get to experience this

  • 2mo

    I think it is ok to date a lot of guys at the same time as long as you don't tell them lies like you love them, you are exclusive or you see a future together. How else would you know what you want in a guy or who to really be exclusive with

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    • 2mo

      Fine. Make GOD D*** sure you are upfront about it before coaxing them in which I almost GURANTEE you have done before. Then decent men can tell you to go f*** yourself before you waste their time for your own selfish indulgement, then tell you to have a nice day.

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    • 2mo

      @mostwomenshouldstfu I never treated anyone like a commodity, more like friends. We learn about each other and we learn about ourselves while dating. We learn more about how to socialize and be comfortable with the opposite sex. I highly recommend being friends with the opposite sex. Like a respectable relationship.

    • 2mo

      This is true. I much preferred that clarification. Multiple times I see the lines of interaction crossed because it gets too personalized. But often times, it seems unavoidable. Like, is it intimate to know someone wants cheese on their burger? It's like a begetting/acclimation thing. And self control is key.

  • 2mo

    You just made yourself sound like a terrible person. I can understand dating multiple people when you're just getting to know people amd you've only been on like one or two dates but you literally cheated on your boyfriend with two guys, not one but two, just for the fun of it. I don't think taking someone's trust and then destroying it is fun. I don't understand why people cheat. If you're unhappy with your relationship the either get out of that relationship or break up with them.

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  • 2mo

    "As he drove away, my "bf" jumped out of nowhere and proceeded to question me, about who that was. I was taken back and before I could say a word, he grabbed my phone and saw the text messages. I could see the pain in his eyes. He smashed my phone on the ground and drove off."

    Wait... what? I call bullshit.

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  • 2mo

    Good take

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  • 2mo

    LMFAO. it us funny to see desperate feminists who make up stories for abolishing the slut/stud double standard. Female players don't exist. At least women who manipulate men for getting sex from them don't exist. You don't have to play with a man's emotion for getting sex from him. Lol guys are easy unless you are ass ugly and need to play games for getting the D.

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    • 2mo

      Yea I agree with this chick, she knows what she's talking about

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    • 2mo

      Oh and her boyfriend came back too lol

    • 2mo

      @SovereignessofVamps she didn't use men for getting sex from them

  • 2mo

    Never feel back for breaking a mans heart
    Most would do the same to you anyways
    They're just mad because you're up with other men and they can't control you

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