I've dated some men. Okay, I've dated a lot of men.
And they always seem so different. I date men of all races, all ages, all religions, all professions, and yet it often seems like I am dating the same guys over and over. So I'm taking this opportunity to retrospectively categorize my past dates for hopes I can make a change. Maybe I can warn others with my past experience as well.
My first mistake has always been my oldest mistake. Now raise your hands!! Especially girls!!! Who here has gone back and dated a high school ex, or their first boyfriend? I remember how in love I was with my college boyfriend. Of course he dropped me like a receiver for the Cleveland Browns. And when he found me on Facebook my heart fluttered. It was like old times!! Except now he was unemployed, had two kids, was chemically dependent and sported a spare tire. And all this could be overlooked as it didn't even touch on the real issue! The real issue is we broke up for a reason the first time. The reason, 20 years later, still existed.
The INAPPROPRIATELY Younger Man
I do think some people are wise beyond their years. Wise is derived from experiences and some younger gentlemen have experienced a lot. However, finding myself recently divorced I took it upon myself to, errr, pretend I wasn't middle aged and entertain several dates with a young man who needed me to pick him up. He asked me to bring him mushy food (almost like baby food come to think of it) after having his tonsils out. He had 6 pack abs and still ate cheesesteaks!! Yes that was incredibly hot. Yet I probably shouldn't have been shocked when I found out he had gone back to his ex girlfriend via social media. Just saying... We were a poor match. Half of his text messages were consonant letters I had to Google, utilizing sites such as urban dictionary, to translate! I hope he's doing well, but I know I can't do 20 again!!!
"We're separated...right now, anyway"
Now this one was tough. One man I met I still care for very much. But I wouldn't put my worst enemy what he put me through. After 1 year of dating and him living in his own place he told me "Well you knew I was only separated! You knew there was a chance I'd go back." Which is why I specifically asked on the first date, "is there any chance you'll ever go back?" Which of course he answered no to. But let's be fair, it was likely the magical vagina that forced him to answer no. And things do change. One putz took me out on four dates. A month later he posted a photo on the internet of him renewing vows with his "ex" wife. I feel like its a good idea to ask to see a divorce certificate at this point, just as one asks for STD test results!
I have no baggage
This is a tricky one because I've just talked about why having an ex wife is bad. But what about a man in his 40s without one, or children, or a pet turtle, or even his own casserole dish to make some food in. Didn't anyone want to snag him?? And if they did did he only attract losers? Why? Or did he just run from any and all binding commitments?? Is this really the person you want to be relying on to watch your child if you are working late? I mean he's never even had a pet turtle! And he claims he's great with kids... Hmmmm. I really liked this one guy, but I have a job and a child. Going out every night does not work. I live in NJ, not Ibiza.
So you date all these crazy people. And its really starting to do a number on your belief in general humanity. And then you meet him. He's a finance VP of a major company. He has an ex but its official. They function well together. He's a parent and responsible and he's, gasp, NICE! When he logically asks you out date after date you say yes, because he's sweet, and you both love Chicken Tandoori and he suggests you travel together. On day three you realize all he talks about is work, and the weather and loving you. Its now that I realize, yes he's great, but it's like talking to wallpaper paste. And he's SO non-confrontational I can't even break up, because he makes excuses why we shouldn't. SMH. And because he's so calm they are logically better then my reasons for picking fights to break up.
And suddenly I realize maybe the reason I keep dating the wrong men for me is I'm not quite ready to meet the right one just yet! Lol! But so long as you remain honest, true to yourself and responsible, enjoy dating all the wrong ones!
If I'm missing any please let me know!