I've noticed a lot of guys on here are talking about how men always have to be the one to approach woman and how it's almost damn near impossible to get a woman to approach you. That if you are a shy guy, then you basically have no chance at getting with a woman and need to change yourself in order to do so. I don't agree with nor like that idea. You shouldn't have to change who you are to be with someone. They should take you how you are and love every part of you. So by telling you, "you need to gain confidence" and "be forward" and to "just get over your fear" is basically telling you to change who you are and that you aren't an attractive person if you have any of these traits. It's not true.
There are girls out there that don't mind shy guys and some even like or prefer them. Just because the majority of woman want that "Alpha male", take control kind of guy doesn't mean there aren't girls who would date you. It just makes them harder to find and harder for you because you are shy.
But in the world today most woman, even the ones who don't mind the shy guys, subconsciously expect you to make the first move and approach them because that's "how it is" and was bred into our minds. Well what if I told you, you could be the one to make the first move without even having to approach her, but have her approach you instead.
Here's some advice:
EYE CONTACT
I've been thinking a lot about what would make me want to approach a guy. For me, to be approachable you need a combination of a few things. The most important one is to make eye contact. A woman will not approach you if she can’t make eye contact with you; she needs to see your eyes and know you have noticed her. Eye contact is a big give away that tells her you are interested and is the first step to getting a girls attention. It indicates and proves to her that you have taken notice of her. Now, you don't want to come off as a creeper, so I'd say no more than 3-5 seconds and then look away slightly and then back again and continually do this every so often.
HOW YOU DRESS/APPEARANCE
Dressing well also makes a big difference. If you want women to approach you then your outward appearance counts a lot. I always notice the guys who are nicely dressed and well kept. We don't like guys who look like they just rolled out of bed and who haven't showered. Stick to your style, but keep it nice and yourself well kept.
PRESENTATION
You need to pay attention to your presentation; remember, how you look is one key thing and presentation is another. Its a first impression and if you make sure your appearance is good; women will see you as a nice, approachable and friendlier person.
BODY LANGUAGE
Body language is another key aspect. It conveys information about the type of person you are both conscious and subconscious. So, if you want women to approach you, then you have to ensure you have the right body language. You should show that you are relaxed. If you look tense and upset, you will make the people around you feel uncomfortable. If you feel relaxed, they will also feel relaxed.
Avoid showing slumped shoulders, crossed legs and arms and also avoid looking down on the floor. This to me gives the message “do not approach me”. Do not turn your shoulders away from someone or away from where the women are. When you turn your body towards a woman it gives her the sense of openness and you look more approachable. This ties in with eye contact and what I'll be talking about next. Your smile.
SMILE
Have a real smile to get a women's attention. Nothing makes us melt more than a great smile. It screams an invitation and makes us feel liked and welcomed. A smile is the best way of making woman approach you. An example: I remember one time when a guy smiled at me when I was out at a bowling alley playing pool at the table next to him. At the end of the game I went straight over to him and introduced myself and told him how I thought he had a great smile. He ended up showing me some tips on how to play pool and we ended up having a good time. He seemed more shy and so I did more of the talking but his body language was very open and I remember liking that.
A pleasant and relaxed smile in combination with eye contact is enough to make you appear approachable. You will need to practice this and it will get easier the more you do. Make eye contact with the woman and smile. When your eyes and hers meet, smile at her, if she smiles back then she would also be interested in you.
GIVE THEM AN INVITATION
If you want to let women know that it’s ok for them to come and talk to you, you need to offer them an invitation. Women who want to be approached have a subtle way of showing their approachable signs; some make eye contact, and look away when you look at them, these are good signs. You need to make eye contact again and give a smile. So, a similar strategy can be applied if you want women to approach you – just make eye contact with her. Smile and show your body language that you are interested in her.
Show a visible sign like an eye brow flash, a head nod to confirm to her that she should come to where you are. Subtle signs work. The eyebrow thing gets me every time and is a sure sign of interest and will make any girls heart flop.
AN OPENING
You also need to give her an opening. To make the woman approach you, you can offer an opening by detaching from your group a minute or so. You can buy a drink, check something you had seen or even just give yourself a short chance to allow the lady make a move towards you. We are just as afraid to approach you in a group, so if you separate yourself for a minute or two it gives us the opportunity to advance. Make sure to catch her eye as you walk away and also again when you're alone so that she knows you haven't lost interest and it gives her the reassurance that you would like her to come over and talk to you.
And just in case you find it not working, don’t get discouraged. The women, who do gain the courage to approach you, are very rare and so may take a little bit of time to find.
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