The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World

The mixed race. There are many identity problems within the mixed race. When people ask what race we are, we either choose one race to go with, or we just say that we are mixed. And then the person replies that there is no mixed race, but I believe there is.

Personally, I am three-fourths African-American and one-fourth Caucasian. Some people will say that that isn't mixed and that I am just African-American, but I believe that the mixed race pertains to anyone who is half or a fourth of a certain race. Just because i'm only one-fourth Caucasian does not mean that I should completely ignore that factor. I have white relatives too; should I ignore them? Of course not. Here are some traits that mixed people tend to have.

HAIR

Mixed people get teased by all sorts of races, especially if you are mixed with African-American and Caucasian. African-Americans will tease you about your hair and how it's not like theirs because its finer. Mixed people's hair is usually finer. Have you ever heard black people or white people use the term "good hair"? They are referring to someone's hair being finer. What I mean by that is the person's hair is usually silkier. My hair is a mixture of African-American and Caucasian hair; it's curly and black like most black people's hair is, but my hair is smoother and more wavy like how white people's hair is. I can't visit a regular black barber because he won't know how to cut it well. He can cut it, but it will be harder for him to do because my hair is so fine.

I obviously can't go to a white barber because he wouldn't know either. I have to go to a barber who has similar hair to me. Some mixed people don't have to deal with that though because some black barber know how to cut our hair, but it's harder for them to cut than regular black hair. Caucasian people are more curious about our hair. They wonder why it's so silky. They often like to play with our hair (which I didn't mind at first, but then it started to get annoying), not usually to tease us but to see how it feels because they don't understand how one can have a mixture of hair. Obviously, not all black people tease our hair and not all white people play with our hair.

SKIN

Mixed people's skin color varies with a wide variety of shades or melanin . A mixed person could be as light as a Caucasian person or can be as dark as a dark-skinned black person. This is where the "white acceptance" bit comes in. White people (not trying to be racist towards white people) tend to accept mixed people who are similar to their skin color, or in other words, lighter. Anyone who they don't believe to be light doesn't get the "white acceptance" card. I know that race shouldn't matter and that there are going to be people commenting "If you don't focus on race then there is no white acceptance", but there is. This "white acceptance" card is alive and well.

White people (again not trying to be racist in any way) tend to think that lighter skinned people who dress to their culture are more friendly. Mixed people who are darker, however, get labeled as being black. Not saying that that's a bad thing but in some people's eyes it is. I personally am a brown paper bag/coffee with creamer kind of mixed person. Because of my hair and my skin I've gotten mistaken for an Arab person before, which also isn't a bad thing but some people think it is. I've been mainly accepted into the white community, not saying anything is wrong with that or I shouldn't be proud of that but I have been. It's obviously not something I give two shits about.

STRUGGLES

The number one struggle of being a mixed person is identity. What race are you? A lot of people, including myself, identify with either their dominant race, or the one they prefer. Since I'm dominantly African-American, I say that I'm African-American, but sometimes I say that I am both African-American and Caucasian. If someone handed me a paper that asks me to check all the following races that apply to me, I would check both the African-American and Caucasian boxes.

Other mixed people just say that they are mixed, which I respect. Many people say that the mixed race isn't a race and all because "we are all mixed with something", but it's different if you are a half or a fourth of a certain race. Everyone has a small proportion of a certain race, but you wouldn't identify with that race because it's so small. Mixed people who are a half or a fourth of a race are bigger proportions. Our families are a mixture of races. So it's completely different if you are a half or a fourth of a race.

THE MIXED RACE IN THE DATING WORLD

People have different opinions about mixed people in regards to dating them. Some people love them because of their physical features and imagine the babies that they can have with them, while others think that they are "bastard" children who shouldn't even exist. Sadly, in today's society we still have racism in the dating world. White people (usually older white people) tend to think that white birds should go with other white birds and black birds should go with other black birds and that they should never mix.

Personally, I believe that this is flat out stupid. We are all human. We all bleed red; we all die. It's not the person's fault for having a little extra melanin; he or she cannot change that. I know there is someone in the comment section that's going to say "There is a higher chance of mental disability when two races mix". And? Does that mean every single mixed baby is going to be mentally disabled? No! And if they are, so what?

There is a difference between stereotyping and preference. If you prefer a partner who is white rather than black, that does not make you a racist. Everyone has preferences and to say you don't is a lie. I prefer girls who are of a lighter skin like myself. I don't like to date darker-skinned girls because I don't PREFER to date them. I don't hate them, I have friends that are dark skinned. I'm just physically not attracted to them. If you are picking a partner based on stereotyping then that is wrong. If you want an Asian girl because you are looking for intelligent girls and you believe the stereotype that girls who are Asian are smart, then you are stereotyping because every race has smart girls and guys in them.

This is why i'm always going to be nervous when I date another girl from another race. It's not because of the girl, it's because of their parents and their ideas about my race. I know that there are a lot of parents and grandparents out there that don't look at color, but there are some that do and how do you distinguish them from the rest? Unless you go to her parent's house and on their front porch is a rebel flag and something that says "White power!" on their porch, there is no way to tell until you actually meet the parents. The same can be said with black parents too. Some black parents want their sons or daughters to only date other black people because of their racism towards other races.

CONCLUSION

The mixed race is a controversial race (even though it really shouldn't be). We get hate from all sorts of races because we aren't simply one race, it's more complicated than that. This post isn't to say that all black and white people are mean and racist; I'm only saying that some black and white people do this. This also happens with other races too, so it's not just a black and white thing. Thanks for reading, if you have any opinions feel free to leave them below!


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What Girls Said 13

  • 1mo

    This is a decent take.
    However if you're going to label yourself mixed.. then there's no such thing as a dominant race. We all should be mixed according to your definition then because no one is 100 percent anything.

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    • 1mo

      That is true, but for those who have a small proportion of a race, you would identify as you're more dominate race. I just say I'm African-American to save confusion

  • 1mo

    My boyfriend and I, if we ever had kids, would have mixed kids (half-Asian, half-white) and I've never understood why that upsets people. Its a kid who has parents from two different races, big deal. The important thing is that they're loved and cared for.

    It does annoy me, however, when an interracial relationship/ mixed race children are ONLY black/white. There are other races, and there are other interracial relationships/mixed race children.

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    • 1mo

      I understand that and I've explained that there are different types of mixed race children.

    • 1mo

      Why would that upset people? That's magical.

  • 1mo

    The only thing more annoying than things on this Take is being someone who ISN'T mixed, yet no matter how many times you tell people you're just a light skin black person, they still think you're mixed. And they ALWAYS think it's some minority and white. Like it can't possibly be two minorities, noooooooo, you always HAVE to be half white. Shit is annoying and ignorant.

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    • 1mo

      Exactly right!

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    • 1mo

      Light skin is NOT an inherent African genetic trait. All light skinned black people have ancestors that are white, whether distant or not. I laugh out loud at uneducated black people that think that the light skinned among them don't have European ancestors. Seriously, I met a black idiot years ago who legitimately thought people like Halle berry, Hussein Nobama, Stephen curry, etc were full black lol.

    • 1mo

      @objectivetruth You're an idiot if you really believe that especially considering white people came from black people.

  • 1mo

    dat take is so true!!! and this comes from a mixed race person

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  • 1mo

    it's annoying that people don't recognize that i have caucasian heritage

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    • 1mo

      Same

    • 1mo

      If you don´t look like a caucasian you will not be recognized as someone with caucasian heritage. It sounds foolish but people don´t care if you have a % of white, black or native American, if you look white or caucasian you will be for most a white person, even though you are for example half japanese, the same thing would happened if you looked black or native American.

  • 1mo

    Lol ya the disability thing makes me hesitant, glad I'm not the only one who thinks of it.
    Also the whole struggle of having identity issues or kids at school teasing them or being more likely to be kidnapped/molested

    Ugh ya ima stick to just black men even though I barely meet any because of where I live and go to school. There's like 1-2 black people in my classes but I'm not surprised been the story of my life esp when I'm a science major.

    Also some people don't count the one fourth as mixed. I do but I remember telling my white friend that she looks Asian. She claimed that she wasn't but later tells me she's one fourth Asian! I guess she didn't count it because I don't know maybe she's listed as white for the census? Makes sense I guess

    Nice take :)

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  • 1mo

    I'm mixed and I feel ya!!

    My dad is Caucasian and my mom's family is Latino (but with a mix of Black and Native).

    It really doesn't bother me not belonging to a group. I feel that because of my mixed-ness, I could fit anywhere. My hair is dark and straight, like Caucasian's, and my skin is naturally tan, like Latino's. Pretty happy!

    What bothers me is when people ask stuff like "But... You're not really white, are you?" Or get all awkward when we're talking about races. I can never be defined. But who cares!

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    • 1mo

      Exactly. Live life and don't worry about it :)

  • 1mo

    I have NEVER heard of anyone having mental disabilities because they are mixed. Mixed people tend to be good-looking for the most part and smart, judging from the ones ai know. There is nothing wrong with being mixed. I'm sorry that people are weird about your hair:/

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    • 1mo

      Yeah there has been scientific research saying that the mental disability rate is higher when two races mix. I believe that that's just a load of bs and there is nothing wrong with being mixed.

    • 1mo

      Being mixed is probably a genetic advantage rather than anything.

  • 1mo

    I'm mixed 3/4 Asian and 1/4 Irish and it annoys me to no end when I say I'm mixed. Asians often tell me you don't look very Asian then when I say I'm mixed they tell me I don't look very caucasian either. People expect those with Asian/European mixed to look very different from them like blonde hair blue eyes and all that but it don't work that way. I personally think I look Asian despite having thick double eyelids, cheekbones and all that. Just not the Asian people have in their heads.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah it is pretty annoying. Sometimes white people get confused when they see me because I have white physical traits like fine hair, lighter skin, and a chiseled jaw line.

    • 1mo

      IT must be annoying. I would not like to be mixed race like that

    • 1mo

      @diegoD Def... people expect me to have single eyelids or thin double eyelids and black hair but I'm a brunette with thick European eyes and button nose with high cheekbones unlike Asians but they just assume too much

  • 1mo

    But is there really only one mixed race then? My cousin is half Caucasian half Asian and he looks nothing like a mixed Caucasian/African person, same with Asian and African? I just feel like since there's such a huge variety in terms of looks, culture (which is a big one) & maybe also experiences can you really denominate mixed people as one single group?

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  • 1mo

    Hmm... I don't know where you live, but, mb you just need to move?
    Out here in L. A., so many people have been mixed, for so long now, that -- outside of logistical issues like language barriers -- these things have basically become a non-issue (unless you live in the kind of neighborhood where races = gang affiliations = physical lines on a map).
    Same is true in the Bay Area, too.
    So... yeah, just move to California. It's better out here. (:

    What @diegoo says about Latin America is a thing, too... well, not México, but that was my experience when I lived in Colombia. But, you probably aren't quite ready to just pack up and move to Medellín. Not yet, anyway. LOL

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    • 1mo

      I've always wanted to more to LA, but it's too far from home since i'm from Ohio. Out here we have a lot of mixed people too and everyone is fine with it, but once you start moving further south then that is when you start to get some head turns (in a bad way).

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    • 1mo

      Meaning I would have to buy an expensive plane trip and fly three hours over to LA.

    • 1mo

      And also be far away from my family.

  • 1mo

    This take just made my day... if I hear one more person ask me, "Oh, what are you?" or, "Can I touch your hair?" I am going to flip!!! I am a freakin' unicorn and NO! You can NOT touch my hair so please stop asking!!!

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  • 1mo

    That moment when a take is discussing mixed raced people and only talk about one group.

    Like seriously, we're so underrepresented in EVERYTHING that even when someone finally talks about mixture it's only ever about white and black.

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    • 1mo

      I think that's because when people think of mixed race they typically think of black and white. They don't realize that there could be soooooo many more possibilities. Or even that there are soooo many more mixed people than meets the eye.

      You're Jamaican and Rican, right?

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    • 1mo

      @CHARismatic110 lol thank you. I'm sure my mom would be flattered to hear that.

    • 1mo

      Lol you're welcome.

What Guys Said 18

  • 1mo

    I honestly think that mixed raced people tend to be so beautiful and the children are so cute. Mixed or not, I don't want kids. As a white guy who likes black women, I would marry a black woman and if I happen to have a child with her, I will give the child all the love and support I could give them to overcome all the hate they get in the world. Seriously, I wouldn't want my child to go through any of this.

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    • 1mo

      To be fair, it really depends on where you live. If you live somewhere (i'm going to be ignorant and talk only about US states since I live here) where people are more accepting of it, like the northern states (I know that there are some people that don't accept mixed people in the north), then you won't have much of a problem. If you live somewhere where people are more ignorant and uneducated and aren't accepting of mixed people, like some southern states, then you will probably have more problems.

  • 1mo

    Just when I think I'm an ugly mixed race guy: thank god I don't look like any of those mixed race people.

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  • 1mo

    I'm often spoken to in other languages , some of which I understand & reply back , my mix is Hungarian ( originally Central Asian people ) / Ukrainian mixed with Scots / Irish , olive skinned , but with unusual green / blue eyes. My ex is Italian , my daughter is quite brown skinned at the moment from our ( short lived ) summer sun. My son has similar eye type to me & olive skinned too.

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  • 1mo

    Offspring that are part white and part something else are hideous at worst, mediocre-looking at best. That is why whites should never reproduce interracially. Besides, mixed race children always have trouble with racial identity growing up, which scars them for the rest of their lives. Please do humanity a favor by keeping the white race (homosexuals sapiens) pure. Asians, blacks, and browns can mingle all they want but please don't bring whites into the picture.

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  • 1mo

    Believe it or not I'm mixed with every race, just because your mixed doesn't make you any less black, or any less white or any less Asian or any less middle Eastern etc..

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  • 1mo

    I don't even know there mixed till some one says there are plenty of races that look mixed and you don't know if they have been on holiday iv looked light black before due to a few weeks in the sun and i'm white possibly with a greek great or great great grand parent? I dont know what greek is counted as?

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  • 1mo

    Why are people complaining about a white and black mix being the first mixture always mentioned? With the race relations between white and black being the worst between any two races it's only natural that people would mention us first. Don't blame us you should be blaming the people who made it this way.

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  • 1mo

    I am mixed caucasian. 1/4 Irish 3/4 mediterranean from Spain. I like my mix. I would like it to be more like 1/2 and 1/2 though, But I am glad I am still all white and not another race in the mix

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  • 1mo

    Are mixed black and white people allowed to use the N word?

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    • 1mo

      To be honest, I don't care if anyone uses the N word as long as it is in a friendly way, but for everyone else, yes. If you are mixed with black and white 99% of the time black people will allow you to use the N word.

  • 1mo

    im multi racial, and guess what there is MUCH more than just a mix of white and black so please talk about the wide spectrum next time. I have wavy/curly hair and people are always trying to feel it including my own family members. im always complimented on my features too. people also put me higher than others but im the same as anyone else. American culture praises biracial people as if we are above them but at the same time it casts us out and makes us feel different and out of place. the only people I can really relate to is other bi/tri or multi racial people

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    • 1mo

      I'm sorry I should of talked about the wide spectrum in more detail. I couldn't really because I am a mix of black and white so therefore I can't speak for people who are of a different mix. I agree with you when you said that American culture praises and casts us out at the same time. It can be really frustrating.

  • 1mo

    Very good take - I come from a country that is high 90s percentile white - I must have been well into my 30s before I realised that different races especially black needed a different haircutting skill set and another one, a bit daft but I was on holidays with a black friend and I was surprised he got sunburn - Speaking of mixed, I knew a girl who went deaf at 12 and I always felt that she seemed stuck between the two worlds of the people born deaf who are fiercely proud and the hearing world - I always thought that must be what it is like to be mixed race - It probably depends on the dynamics of the outside society, the easier the races interact , the simpler it is for the mixed race person.

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    • 1mo

      I appreciate you reading my take, and yes it really does depend. If you live in more diverse places you won't get as much attention as when you live in a place where one race is the overwhelming majority.

  • 1mo

    At what point is someone "mixed" vs their own separate race is my question.
    Latinos: Considered own separate race. However just a mix between European and Native blood, varying from more native to more European.
    Mixed Black/White: Somehow not own separate race, anyone in this race is counted as "black" (from what I've seen) even if their skin more closely matches their European brethren.

    Another thing is your average "black" person in the US is only about 75-77% African descent and 10-15% European. Are they considered "mixed" too?

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    • 1mo

      That's a very good question! In order to be considered "mixed", in my opinion, is when you are half or a fourth of a certain race. Long ago when Europeans and natives mixed, the offspring would of been considered "mixed", however as time went on these mixed traits became common that they became their own race, the Latino race. Same goes for black people. They were at one time mixed, but then as time and evolution went on they became one race.

  • 1mo

    I'm mixed (not black and white though) and have experienced about 0 of these problems.

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    • 1mo

      It all depends on where you live really. If you live in a place that is more accepting of mixed people then you won't experience as many problems as someone who lives in a not really accepting place.

    • 1mo

      Guess so.

    • 1mo

      I never had identity problems though, and that doesn't have much to do with where you live.

  • 1mo

    Fuck dating and FUCK relationships

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  • 1mo

    One drop rule in effect for black folks though. If you have black features then you black.

    zikopole.com/.../...3710am1859-melyssa_ford_20.jpg

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    • 1mo

      The one drop rule is completely unfounded racist garbage. It holds no truth whatsoever and anyone who believes it's a legitimate thing is a racist idiot.

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    • 1mo

      I get that people still believe in that stupid shit but it's because they're stupid people.

      If you look at biology and genetics and I don't know, how about literal facts of life then you'd know this isn't a real thing. People believing in it should be corrected. It shouldn't be encouraged and it shouldn't be swept under the rug. The one drop rule is complete and utter fiction.

      People who believe in it are just racist pieces of trash. Why the hell would anyone accept what they say? Just because they're stupid doesn't mean it's a real thing. That's just them expressing their ignorance.

    • 1mo

      @Relentless_Hippie You are 100% correct.

  • 1mo

    Meh, the only time it's ever an issue is when someone says "you're not even black" or "you're not even white" or whatever ethnicity combo you are as a way to invalidate what you have to say. Truth is, whichever skin tone is most dominant for you is how the rest of the world tends to treat you, until further notice.

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    • 1mo

      That is, unfortunately, true

  • 1mo

    In Latin America you wouldn´t have that struggle. There is not one latino that can say he is 100% black, White, etc.. Well there are exceptions and those are a minority, most latin American are mix, including my self, is, I think we can call it Mixed Land, a land of cultural and racial fusion. The US is not that different neither.

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    • 1mo

      That is true, however if you have a small proportion of a certain race then the dominate race is your race. But I do understand that a long time ago Latinos and blacks were mixed

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