The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World

Anonymous

The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World

The mixed race. There are many identity problems within the mixed race. When people ask what race we are, we either choose one race to go with, or we just say that we are mixed. And then the person replies that there is no mixed race, but I believe there is.

Personally, I am three-fourths African-American and one-fourth Caucasian. Some people will say that that isn't mixed and that I am just African-American, but I believe that the mixed race pertains to anyone who is half or a fourth of a certain race. Just because i'm only one-fourth Caucasian does not mean that I should completely ignore that factor. I have white relatives too; should I ignore them? Of course not. Here are some traits that mixed people tend to have.

HAIR

Mixed people get teased by all sorts of races, especially if you are mixed with African-American and Caucasian. African-Americans will tease you about your hair and how it's not like theirs because its finer. Mixed people's hair is usually finer. Have you ever heard black people or white people use the term "good hair"? They are referring to someone's hair being finer. What I mean by that is the person's hair is usually silkier. My hair is a mixture of African-American and Caucasian hair; it's curly and black like most black people's hair is, but my hair is smoother and more wavy like how white people's hair is. I can't visit a regular black barber because he won't know how to cut it well. He can cut it, but it will be harder for him to do because my hair is so fine.

I obviously can't go to a white barber because he wouldn't know either. I have to go to a barber who has similar hair to me. Some mixed people don't have to deal with that though because some black barber know how to cut our hair, but it's harder for them to cut than regular black hair. Caucasian people are more curious about our hair. They wonder why it's so silky. They often like to play with our hair (which I didn't mind at first, but then it started to get annoying), not usually to tease us but to see how it feels because they don't understand how one can have a mixture of hair. Obviously, not all black people tease our hair and not all white people play with our hair.

The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World

SKIN

Mixed people's skin color varies with a wide variety of shades or melanin . A mixed person could be as light as a Caucasian person or can be as dark as a dark-skinned black person. This is where the "white acceptance" bit comes in. White people (not trying to be racist towards white people) tend to accept mixed people who are similar to their skin color, or in other words, lighter. Anyone who they don't believe to be light doesn't get the "white acceptance" card. I know that race shouldn't matter and that there are going to be people commenting "If you don't focus on race then there is no white acceptance", but there is. This "white acceptance" card is alive and well.

White people (again not trying to be racist in any way) tend to think that lighter skinned people who dress to their culture are more friendly. Mixed people who are darker, however, get labeled as being black. Not saying that that's a bad thing but in some people's eyes it is. I personally am a brown paper bag/coffee with creamer kind of mixed person. Because of my hair and my skin I've gotten mistaken for an Arab person before, which also isn't a bad thing but some people think it is. I've been mainly accepted into the white community, not saying anything is wrong with that or I shouldn't be proud of that but I have been. It's obviously not something I give two shits about.

STRUGGLES

The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World

The number one struggle of being a mixed person is identity. What race are you? A lot of people, including myself, identify with either their dominant race, or the one they prefer. Since I'm dominantly African-American, I say that I'm African-American, but sometimes I say that I am both African-American and Caucasian. If someone handed me a paper that asks me to check all the following races that apply to me, I would check both the African-American and Caucasian boxes.

Other mixed people just say that they are mixed, which I respect. Many people say that the mixed race isn't a race and all because "we are all mixed with something", but it's different if you are a half or a fourth of a certain race. Everyone has a small proportion of a certain race, but you wouldn't identify with that race because it's so small. Mixed people who are a half or a fourth of a race are bigger proportions. Our families are a mixture of races. So it's completely different if you are a half or a fourth of a race.

THE MIXED RACE IN THE DATING WORLD

People have different opinions about mixed people in regards to dating them. Some people love them because of their physical features and imagine the babies that they can have with them, while others think that they are "bastard" children who shouldn't even exist. Sadly, in today's society we still have racism in the dating world. White people (usually older white people) tend to think that white birds should go with other white birds and black birds should go with other black birds and that they should never mix.

Personally, I believe that this is flat out stupid. We are all human. We all bleed red; we all die. It's not the person's fault for having a little extra melanin; he or she cannot change that. I know there is someone in the comment section that's going to say "There is a higher chance of mental disability when two races mix". And? Does that mean every single mixed baby is going to be mentally disabled? No! And if they are, so what?

The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World

There is a difference between stereotyping and preference. If you prefer a partner who is white rather than black, that does not make you a racist. Everyone has preferences and to say you don't is a lie. I prefer girls who are of a lighter skin like myself. I don't like to date darker-skinned girls because I don't PREFER to date them. I don't hate them, I have friends that are dark skinned. I'm just physically not attracted to them. If you are picking a partner based on stereotyping then that is wrong. If you want an Asian girl because you are looking for intelligent girls and you believe the stereotype that girls who are Asian are smart, then you are stereotyping because every race has smart girls and guys in them.

This is why i'm always going to be nervous when I date another girl from another race. It's not because of the girl, it's because of their parents and their ideas about my race. I know that there are a lot of parents and grandparents out there that don't look at color, but there are some that do and how do you distinguish them from the rest? Unless you go to her parent's house and on their front porch is a rebel flag and something that says "White power!" on their porch, there is no way to tell until you actually meet the parents. The same can be said with black parents too. Some black parents want their sons or daughters to only date other black people because of their racism towards other races.

CONCLUSION

The mixed race is a controversial race (even though it really shouldn't be). We get hate from all sorts of races because we aren't simply one race, it's more complicated than that. This post isn't to say that all black and white people are mean and racist; I'm only saying that some black and white people do this. This also happens with other races too, so it's not just a black and white thing. Thanks for reading, if you have any opinions feel free to leave them below!

The Mixed Race: Who We Are and How We're Identified in the Dating World
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