Top 5 Things to Take Note Of When Chasing the Ladies

I'm here to help you so take everything with the utmost spuriousness. If you don't know whether anything here will work, then don't worry. Just trust me. I'm a guy on the internet. I know a lot of stuff about stuff.

On to the list.

1. Look attractive

A good personality is what maintains a relationship but good looks are what start it off. Before you approach a girl, you have to remember to be attractive. All you need for you to be considered attractive is big muscles and a big beard. That's about it.

If you're not a good looking guy, either become one or go home. Easy.

But don't worry, there are loads of things to compensate for a lack of good looks.

2. Be rich

All girls are materialistic unlike you and your noble heart. If you can't get a girl to like you for your looks, then flaunt your money and assets instead. A wise man once said "get money, fuck bitches." Live by those words. And in case you are poor, then just remember to become rich. And you'll be swimming in puss. Remember, the more money, the better. EZ.

3. Shine your personality

If you can pull it off, an exemplary personality can snatch a girl faster than good looks or money. You can pull it off in a number of ways:

a) Be a douche

Douches are the easiest for girls to notice and girls happen to like that type of guy - even if they say they don't. All you need to do is to treat her like crap. Don't call or text unless it's for sex. Flirt at inaprporiate times and places and etc: just think of stuff you wouldn't want for your daughter and do exactly that. Simple.

Also, if you've yet to have sex with her, remember to mention the size of your Dwayne. Girls love them big and mentioning it will make her crave sex with you even more. So do it often. Frequently send d-pics to boot.

b) Be overly manly

If you don't want to go the douche route - you can just overract your macho. Some girls don't like bad boys but they none the less like macho men. And the same way the more money the better, the same logic dictates that the more macho, the better. So remember to display your manliness at every possible turn.

c) Be smart

Girls like intelligence. In case you have nothing to offer from the aforementioned list of things, then showing your genius mind is pretty much your last resort.

Make sure you outsmart and out-think her whenever possible - women like a man who can lead, that means they will love it when you show that you are smarter than them. Being arrogant about intelligence may even help her see that you are both smart and somewhat confident.

Impress her with your knowledge about the things you like, per instance, talk about the October Revolution in pre-Soviet Russia, or the Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx. Or the Crusades. Or you can name all the Pokemon you know. Her panties are sure to drop at that.

100% of the time, being able to make a sound comparison of the positive and negative differences and between Star Wars and Star Trek will make her wet 50% of the time.

4. Have a big Dwayne.

Girls like 'em big. All you need to do is to have it. And, as has been said already, mention it to her every chance you get. Since girls like displays of dominance, just pull it out once in a while - just remember to not demand she suck it, instead ask nicely - that way you could come off as a gentleman at times.

5. Last option

If all else fails, there's always chloroform and Stockholm Syndrome but that would need another myTake.

Or to summarize everything:

Anywho, now you know what to do. TDH out.


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What Girls Said 9

What Guys Said 16

  • 2mo

    @ThisDudeHere knows how to chase the ladies 👍

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  • 2mo

    Funny stuff. :)

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  • 6d

    This is actually true. Being attractive is a must and being rich helps a lot. Girls love douches and some girls will fuck a guy just because he has a big dick.

    So I guess if you're an attractive rich guy who acts like a douche and has a big dick then you'll get all kinds of sugar walls.

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  • 1mo

    Rule #1: Don't chase the ladies.

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  • 1mo

    Imma just let them chase me.

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  • 1mo

    Be attractive. Check
    Be rich. Check
    Have a big dwayne. Check

    Still gets no women >

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  • 2mo

    wtf tis dosnt even work fo r me. why?

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    • 2mo

      Did you forget to be attractive and have a big dick?

    • 2mo

      oh yes i forgot teh bg noodle

      Dang. I thought you'd think I was being real xD

  • 2mo

    Stop chasing women. Jesus.

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  • 2mo

    Why not just start masturbating in public?

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  • 2mo

    Think #1 covers it :P

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  • 2mo

    As much as this is satire, it is VERY real

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  • 2mo

    Wow... You dont get many women do you?

    I can see why, you deal in absolutes and say things like "all women are materialistic, and all women like a big penis".

    I am not wealthy, and dont have a large penis (although women wouldn't know because I dont go around showing it off... seriously how are they supposed to know whether or not a guy has a large penis? If you dont go around showing it to random women then they will have no idea. ), and I still get plenty of women. You clearly have an attitude problem which is your problem, and that reflects in this take. You look at what you dont have, not what you have and so women detect this lack of self confidence and jealousy and avoid you like the plague... to be honest I wouldn't date you either.

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  • 2mo
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  • 2mo

    For #1 you forgot to add tall. Sarcasm or not of course.

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  • 2mo

    Love the sarcasm dude - Sad part is some people believe it

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  • 2mo

    I got the long hidden secret, now I will fuck bitches back-to-back
    www.reactiongifs.com/.../dafoe.gif

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