Deconstructing The "Nice Guy" Once and For All

pavlove

The Nice guy Finishes Last stereotype is rampant on GAG and always has been. Most girls on this site look at most guys on this site like desperate, rejected and bitter losers. It's not a kind assessment but it's the one most commonly held. Yet, I don't think either gender on here truly understands the makeup, the DNA of a Nice Guy and why he is actually repulsive to women whether or not they try their best to stomach him or choose to simply reject him for a different kind of male.

Nice Guys Want To Be Great In Women's Eyes

This is often the hardest to break mentality of a guy who's too nice. Like a narcissist who'd rather die than believe they aren't that great and special, a nice guy will almost never think it's not a great thing, it's not one of the best things to be seen highly in women's eyes. We all know this is what sets him backward, but the interesting this is why he continues to want it even though he knows wanting it makes him a loser.

We tried doing what the girls wanted and where did it get us?"

"Nowhere..."

Guys who are too nice don't just have an ineffective mating strategy, they also lack a sense of self. In other words, it's not just that doing whatever a girl wants doesn't work, it's that these guys don't know any other way of being. This is the first lesson in understanding why a guy can continue to at worst be friendzoned over and over by different girls and at best be in relationships where all they get is yelled at and given little to no sex.

The second thing to understand is...

Nice Guys Don't Typically Have a Strong Sense of Masculinity

This is why it's not enough to tell a guy who's too nice to simply be more confident. More confident in what? He'll ask himself silently. These guys usually hate or don't have the best relationship with their fathers for a multitude of reasons. They also don't have a lot of core male best friends. They don't feel truly themselves in a group of other men like a man should. So, when a girl threatens no sex or has a crappy attitude, his instinct is to do or say whatever he thinks she wants in order to make the situation better since he has no strong alternative like a group of best guy friends.

In addition to this, a lot of guys don't have a strong love of being male. They don't want to be very much different from girls. They don't want to those macho guys that have the cheerleader type girlfriends. Those guys seem cold, stupid, and unfeeling to them. They've gotten in touch in their feminine side, which is great, but they have neglected their masculine side.

Another reason men voluntarily disconnect from their masculinity (in my opinion as all takes are)

Young Women Are Intimidated By Too Much Masculinity

A third reason i think for why guys find themselves being so nice that they end up pushing girls away is more of a theory than something i believe as a fact. Nontheless, I'll share it and let you chew on it in your mind.

If you've ever had a class on media marketing or studied it to any degree, it's not uncommon to hear about how young preteen girls are too intimidated by a shirtless hunk with a lot of body hair. Thus, the Disney Prince look is usually a sweet, boyish face with no body hair or even facial hair. Think Justin Bieber early Jonas Brothers early Zac Effron etc.

Deconstructing The "Nice Guy" Once and For All

As such, I believe that during formative years where men are learning "to be sexy" for lack of a better term, they interpret based on what girls of a similar age are responding too. They think they need to look like a Disney Prince too. That the tight leather jacket and tight denim jeans and shiny hair and boyish look is what makes girl want to drop their wet panties.

The reality though is that once a woman comes to full sexual discovery, she usually prefers that manly man with the body hair. Obvious this changes a lot based on personal preference but the point is what she liked as a preteen is not what she likes as a woman. Therefore the things a lot of men are trying in hopes that it makes them sexy don't work. Women are no longer afraid if you're that strong, brooding male who looks like he would punch someone if they messed with him.

As such, it's okay to go back to the aggressive and decisive and even a little bit selfish man you were and gave up when you decided were scary and off putting to women. GAG is a good representation for this. Look at the comments by teenage girls of 14-16 and compare them with women 21 and up and see for yourself what i mean.

In any case, these reasons could be at play if you find yourself asking girls if you're too nice...

Deconstructing The "Nice Guy" Once and For All
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