Guys Have No More Need for "Game"

A lot of guys, especially shyer more inexperienced guys, have a perception on meeting women that goes like:

Hot Girl is With Her Friends----Guy Walks Over----Girl is initially disgusted or simply neutral----Guy spits his "game" and she softens and gets attracted-----They go home together

There's a problem with this and it's not that it doesn't work. It's that it's not a constructive use of time or energy.

See, there's a need for selectivity when the resource in question is so large that no one could actually try all of it. An important fact to remember is

There are so many single, available and interested people to meet that you will never ever "run out"

So then the question becomes how do you justify talking to girls who aren't interested in you or are neutral? Furthermore, how do you justify bypassing interested girls for neutral or disinterested girls? You can't. The problem is with the formula above. You know the formula and so you're looking for the x variable, which in the formula is the disgusted girl for you to charm. Then, you're confounded when it barely works.

I've slept with a lot of girls and the truth is I never really talk to girls who aren't already interested in me"

Notice guys whom a lot of girls find really attractive. Notice how they don't actually spend a lot of time convincing the girl of their worth. Yes, they may spend time convincing them to sleep with them even though they're an obvious dirty player but this is with girls who they know find them hot. Sure, it's a snowball effect for guys. When you start sleeping with some girls you feel confident and other girls naturally are attracted to this and/or there's the harem effect where all girls seem to want the same guy but the fact remains convincing a girl who's not very attracted to you to be with you barely works.

What's the point of Game then? Nothing in my opinion. Game can make the dating process sexy because it relies on a process of mystery and intrigue. When you Game someone you make them feel wanted one second and ignored the next. You make yourself available and then not. If you look at stories like Twilight or even more mature female based stories its actually a very sexy game to a girl.

BUT

Game does NOT actually:

Convince a girl who finds you ugly/repulsive to then find you HOT

Work on any consistent basis

Have any justification given that every man has some girls that are already attracted to them.

This does not mean that a man should not pursue a girl, he still has to make the approach. The thing is girls give out signs all the time. And, unless you're a guy who notices everything, chances are she noticed you before you noticed her anyway.

So, look for signs or just say hi and talk to her a bit and you'll be able to feel if she's feeling you very quickly and if she's not just smile and walk on.


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What Girls Said 5

  • 3d

    cool,

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  • 1mo

    Women already know in their minds when they notice you whether we want to sleep with you or not or if we respect you as a man. There's no talking us into it. We women give out pretty obvious signals whether we would be interested or not, at least I do and no one seems to want to pick up on them or not. It's males thinking they are in charge when by natural selection, they aren't. It's not about what you want, Man. It's about what she wants. If you can't accept that's biologically been going on since the dawn of time, then bad on you for being that dumb.

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  • 1mo

    I agree, most guys don't even give themselves a chance before they give up, and guys are notoriously bad at noticing signs. I've gotten so frustrated with shy guys, not because I don't like them, but because they are their own worst enemies in dating.

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    • 1mo

      im a shy guy and i am absolutley terrible at picking up signals. I think its gotten worse since one of my my best friends who is a girl found out that i liked her a lot, she started sending mixed signals she would act like she liked me but than when i ask her out she says no, or she just flat out says she doesn't like me. and she still does all the "tease" stuff. So i think she is a major reason i have doubt about signals.

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    • 1mo

      I've probably missed quite a few signals in my lifetime. It's because we just don't expect to get hit on by women.

    • 1mo

      @castratedwhiteguy I can fucking tell the women that I want to be with them and they still wouldn't fucking believe me cause I've even heard women on here say does this guy really want to be with me I hate to say this I really do but women are fucking ignorant

  • 1mo

    Great take. I agree, as I have been saying for years. If you are interested in someone, the foolproof way to avoid any rejection is just to talk to them and establish what you need to know first. If you find out he or she is taken. You can still talk to them but obviously dont bother asking them out. Don't play games because no one will take you seriously. They'll just think that your messing with their heads.

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  • 1mo

    "The thing is girls give out signs all the time. And, unless you're a guy who notices everything, chances are she noticed you before you noticed her anyway.
    So, look for signs or just say hi and talk to her a bit and you'll be able to feel if she's feeling you very quickly and if she's not just smile and walk on." Yes!
    Guys, learn to back feel her out and back off so as to avoid unnecessary rejection. I'm a girl, and I've never moved in on a guy who was only wishy washy or clearly uninterested. It saved me a lot of sadness from rejection.

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    • 1mo

      I fail to see the point in "signs" that women give. Look, in this day and age if a woman likes a guy she should just give a fella a break and tell him. Many of us guys can't see these "signs" that women give and need a neon sign to tell us

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    • 1mo

      I'm with Stan here these signs are as intelligible as road signs written in Swahili. Are all women taught by their mothers to only go with boys who are skilful pick up artists?

    • 1mo

      @vishna I want to tell you something though If you're an empath you can see the signs but a lot of the times most women want to play little mind games and say no i don't want to be with you when I myself know that's a lie but when I tell them I know better then that and I know that you're lying to me the women then get all offensive

What Guys Said 29

  • 1mo

    Agreed. Great take, man! 👍

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  • 1mo

    In other words talk to them lol.

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  • 1mo

    There has to be that initial attraction there, but then you have to take the lead as the man, and you have to know how to read her body language and what she really wants because most of the time she won't be straightforward about it and will put up barriers so she doesn't seem like a slut.

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  • 1mo

    Money + Status = Game

    I'm a
    ((Potential + Effort)(Experience + Effort) / Age) + Smooth Words^2 X Quirkiness = Game
    kinda guy

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  • 1mo

    "every man has some girls that are already attracted to them"
    So naive...

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    • 1mo

      not naive... girls who play WoW etc etc there are girls for every guy its just harder to find. become an explorer

    • 1mo

      I've been exploring all my life. I only *hear* about this kind of stuff. In real life it's pretty much a myth at this point.

  • 1mo

    "the harem effect". lol. this shit is real. its really a snowball effect once you get female attention and sex. i was invisible before i got my first girlfriend... . its both an internal, confidence etc thing, but also a women paying attention to why other women like you thing... . validation through others in a few words. there might even be a hormonal or spiritual effect in it. who knows... .

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  • 1mo

    The problem is some girls give out signs intentionally with no intention of going out or being with a guy. They just want the guy to give her attention and allow her to reject him making her feel more powerful. One girl I know is trying to do this with me now. She has a boyfriend. What she doesn't know is that I know she has a boyfriend yet she's been throwing out signs that she is interested in me because she is under the assumption that I don't know she's already in a relationship.

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  • 1mo

    That's a good point. Nice take. I agree, there's a vibe already normally.

    My only thing would be what if the girl in question was already taken and you hadn't flat out stated your sexual interest in her yet because of the social context. E. g. lots of people (guys or girls) will meet people in situations like university, work etc, where if you're working with the person in a group or team or are seeing them regularly, i. e. it's the first day you meet them and there's an etiquette involved unlike a bar, that you might clearly click and then find out they are not single.

    And have already made a rapport/have mutual affection for each other. I. e. you know the girl already. At this point, how do you communicate attraction. Especially if they later become single?

    Actually wonder if u could help me out? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2141337-who-would-a-sweet-fun-girl-flirt-be-with-have-dirty-sex-with-based

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  • 1mo

    The only thing I disagree with is "no more" in the title. There never was a need for it.

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  • 1mo

    All your fodder comes from me. . all your changes you claim come from me. Tk. Haha. You ain't changed

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  • 1mo

    Are you kidding me? This gives me no info at all! The Game? Just say Hi? I wish it was that simple!. Looks has a lot to do with things. I know, I'm 31, and single! I'm shy too by the sway, and don't think that way at all (Meaning the first aspect of this one sided view. How embarrassing!

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  • 1mo

    I have no game like some people have said and I literally don't give a fuck, I ain't gonna approach any female at all, fuck that shit. 😂 😂
    And for those who wonder, yes, I'm single.

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  • 1mo

    Sounds a little biased in my opinion but, that's just my opinion. People wouldn't really have to worry much about game if they just approached the other person and started talking. You'll learn through experiences and start making better judgements

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  • 1mo

    That's a very interesting way of phrasing that idea.

    My wife and I were comforting a Jewish American Princess the other day, who was complaining to us about how frustrating it is to be dating in 2016. She went on to say about how she has to pay for X, and Y, and Z as a woman, it's not cheap being a woman, and all these guys won't call her back when it's date #2 and she hasn't reached into her purse to equally invest in the relationship.

    My advice to her was, "Look, you pay X, Y & Z for things like your shoes, your clothes, your hair, your nails, etc. All those things, you're not investing in ONE MAN. You get to carry the value of that over to multiple men. But, when the guy dishes out $200 on a dinner, he can't take that $200 and apply it to the next 10 girls he's interested in. You can literally get the benefit of your $500 across a wide net of 100 different guys. He can't stretch his $500 that far."

    Now, that's not entirely true, but in the early 20s, it kind of is. As guys get older, however, we have things that are better than a nice pair of heels. We have businesses, houses, cars, boats, etc. Other than maybe gas (variable cost), those assets allow a guy to cast a wide net across a large number of females. The super-competitive ones will hunt you down and stalk you across Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, your firm's website, etc. They will size up your house, your car, etc., and see if you're the kind of guy their circle of female friends would be green with envy and jealousy over.

    Now, up until this point, as a man, you haven't actually done shit. You're just going about your business, and unbeknownst to you, women are scheming of ways to "accidentally" or "naturally" start interacting with you. Oh, maybe I can pop by his office and... maybe I can recommend a friend to him and just go along with my friend for company or help... maybe he shops at this place... I think I saw him hanging out at this place one... etc.

    She's already interested in you before you even know who she is. That's called "efficiency." Then there are the women who just wait by the bar all done up waiting why guys they actually want aren't around, or don't approach them at the bar. It's like, umm, hello, no offense, but why am I going to approach? I got a good thing going on with zero effort.

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    • 1mo

      It's like you wake up every morning and there's $10,000 waiting for you next to your coffee. You don't know how it got there, but every morning, of every week, of every month, for the past 5 years, that's what's been happening. And there's an "employer" that's interested in you that's taken notice of you. So, they post a job ad and wait for you to respond, but it's like you don't even notice the job ad. They can't seem to understand why you wouldn't apply to a job that's so prestigious and pays so well.

      Umm, hello, it's because I'm not interested in working for $120,000 a year, when I have $10,000 per day waiting for me with zero effort on my part when I wake up each morning. You just can't compete with that.

      In a way, the older you get as a guy, I guess you get to experience what really super hot girls felt like in high school.

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    • 1mo

      @SpinningDude69 like, in HS, there are all these events where guys are looking to prove to themselves that they're sexually valuable to girls, prom, etc., and "the hot girl" is like a prize, and whoever is "the hot girl" has like this feeling like she's walking on clouds.

      Well, after HS, and after college, when people have a taste of the real world, and everyone starts getting married and having babies, life sort of sets up the flip side for women, and now it's about being with "a guy like that." And whoever "a guy like that" is, is kinda walking on clouds. He's a means to an end, the end being the kind of lifestyle women want, the ability to make their friends jealous through social media, to feel like she has what it takes to be with that kind of man. So, guys who have it like that are floating on clouds (sexually speaking). And, ironically, are not that interested in sex lol.

    • 1mo

      Dropping Truth Bombs left and right

  • 1mo

    I don't know, if still sounds like they need "game" by the end of this take. Your snowball effect idea was right on point though

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  • 1mo

    My issue hasn't been getting women attracted initially but more or less keeping them in the long run.

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    • 1mo

      What do you do to try and keep them?

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    • 1mo

      @Shorty1991 Yeah one of them was so clingy and insecure that she'd ask if I still wanted to see her even if I agreed to a date or rescheduled. She'd also blow up my phone and fish for compliments by sending nudes and pics of her.

      Well one that I genuinely liked recently ended up shot me as a rebound and ditched me after sex. Then others would flake after a date or two. I don't know if it's because I met them online and they have so many options.

    • 1mo

      I don't use online dating anymore, I got the feeling that all three of my last dates were only interested in one thing. The last one wanted to see me again, probably because he thought he'd get lucky the second time around. I'm not into sleeping around, so I won't do that until I'm in a relationship or if I have feelings for the guy and I'm sure that he has feelings for me too. People can be good at sweet talking you into getting with them, then they ditch you when they've got what they came for. I hate users.

  • 1mo

    To add to that, the signs are pretty obvious if you let your gut do the thinking.
    If you try to look for it logically, you will miss it.
    When your gut/instinct speaks, listen to it.

    Good Take.

    I too never go for girls who aren't attracted to me first somehow.

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  • 1mo

    Lol, the day I listen to theories on "game" from a guy on this site. smh

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  • 1mo

    THIS IS BS There are so many single, available and interested people to meet that you will never ever "run out"
    If you are ugly no one will want to meet you, so fuck you

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  • 1mo

    Girls will generally act neutral or cold for the first 2 minutes that they get to know you. They need to know you're safe to be around and that you communicate well/are confident. Once you get past that stage they'll be more open and even start wanting to get to know you.

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