Guys Have No More Need for "Game"

A lot of guys, especially shyer more inexperienced guys, have a perception on meeting women that goes like:

Hot Girl is With Her Friends----Guy Walks Over----Girl is initially disgusted or simply neutral----Guy spits his "game" and she softens and gets attracted-----They go home together

There's a problem with this and it's not that it doesn't work. It's that it's not a constructive use of time or energy.

See, there's a need for selectivity when the resource in question is so large that no one could actually try all of it. An important fact to remember is

There are so many single, available and interested people to meet that you will never ever "run out"

So then the question becomes how do you justify talking to girls who aren't interested in you or are neutral? Furthermore, how do you justify bypassing interested girls for neutral or disinterested girls? You can't. The problem is with the formula above. You know the formula and so you're looking for the x variable, which in the formula is the disgusted girl for you to charm. Then, you're confounded when it barely works.

I've slept with a lot of girls and the truth is I never really talk to girls who aren't already interested in me"

Notice guys whom a lot of girls find really attractive. Notice how they don't actually spend a lot of time convincing the girl of their worth. Yes, they may spend time convincing them to sleep with them even though they're an obvious dirty player but this is with girls who they know find them hot. Sure, it's a snowball effect for guys. When you start sleeping with some girls you feel confident and other girls naturally are attracted to this and/or there's the harem effect where all girls seem to want the same guy but the fact remains convincing a girl who's not very attracted to you to be with you barely works.

What's the point of Game then? Nothing in my opinion. Game can make the dating process sexy because it relies on a process of mystery and intrigue. When you Game someone you make them feel wanted one second and ignored the next. You make yourself available and then not. If you look at stories like Twilight or even more mature female based stories its actually a very sexy game to a girl.

BUT

Game does NOT actually:

Convince a girl who finds you ugly/repulsive to then find you HOT

Work on any consistent basis

Have any justification given that every man has some girls that are already attracted to them.

This does not mean that a man should not pursue a girl, he still has to make the approach. The thing is girls give out signs all the time. And, unless you're a guy who notices everything, chances are she noticed you before you noticed her anyway.

So, look for signs or just say hi and talk to her a bit and you'll be able to feel if she's feeling you very quickly and if she's not just smile and walk on.


2|6
5|29
pavlove is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Join the discussion

0/2500

Submit
Sponsored

What Girls Said 5

  • "The thing is girls give out signs all the time. And, unless you're a guy who notices everything, chances are she noticed you before you noticed her anyway.
    So, look for signs or just say hi and talk to her a bit and you'll be able to feel if she's feeling you very quickly and if she's not just smile and walk on." Yes!
    Guys, learn to back feel her out and back off so as to avoid unnecessary rejection. I'm a girl, and I've never moved in on a guy who was only wishy washy or clearly uninterested. It saved me a lot of sadness from rejection.

    3|0
    0|1
    • I fail to see the point in "signs" that women give. Look, in this day and age if a woman likes a guy she should just give a fella a break and tell him. Many of us guys can't see these "signs" that women give and need a neon sign to tell us

    • Show All
    • I'm with Stan here these signs are as intelligible as road signs written in Swahili. Are all women taught by their mothers to only go with boys who are skilful pick up artists?

    • @vishna I want to tell you something though If you're an empath you can see the signs but a lot of the times most women want to play little mind games and say no i don't want to be with you when I myself know that's a lie but when I tell them I know better then that and I know that you're lying to me the women then get all offensive

  • I agree, most guys don't even give themselves a chance before they give up, and guys are notoriously bad at noticing signs. I've gotten so frustrated with shy guys, not because I don't like them, but because they are their own worst enemies in dating.

    2|2
    0|1
    • im a shy guy and i am absolutley terrible at picking up signals. I think its gotten worse since one of my my best friends who is a girl found out that i liked her a lot, she started sending mixed signals she would act like she liked me but than when i ask her out she says no, or she just flat out says she doesn't like me. and she still does all the "tease" stuff. So i think she is a major reason i have doubt about signals.

    • Show All
    • I've probably missed quite a few signals in my lifetime. It's because we just don't expect to get hit on by women.

    • @castratedwhiteguy I can fucking tell the women that I want to be with them and they still wouldn't fucking believe me cause I've even heard women on here say does this guy really want to be with me I hate to say this I really do but women are fucking ignorant

  • Women already know in their minds when they notice you whether we want to sleep with you or not or if we respect you as a man. There's no talking us into it. We women give out pretty obvious signals whether we would be interested or not, at least I do and no one seems to want to pick up on them or not. It's males thinking they are in charge when by natural selection, they aren't. It's not about what you want, Man. It's about what she wants. If you can't accept that's biologically been going on since the dawn of time, then bad on you for being that dumb.

    0|1
    0|1
  • Great take. I agree, as I have been saying for years. If you are interested in someone, the foolproof way to avoid any rejection is just to talk to them and establish what you need to know first. If you find out he or she is taken. You can still talk to them but obviously dont bother asking them out. Don't play games because no one will take you seriously. They'll just think that your messing with their heads.

    0|0
    0|0
  • cool,

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 29

  • That's a very interesting way of phrasing that idea.

    My wife and I were comforting a Jewish American Princess the other day, who was complaining to us about how frustrating it is to be dating in 2016. She went on to say about how she has to pay for X, and Y, and Z as a woman, it's not cheap being a woman, and all these guys won't call her back when it's date #2 and she hasn't reached into her purse to equally invest in the relationship.

    My advice to her was, "Look, you pay X, Y & Z for things like your shoes, your clothes, your hair, your nails, etc. All those things, you're not investing in ONE MAN. You get to carry the value of that over to multiple men. But, when the guy dishes out $200 on a dinner, he can't take that $200 and apply it to the next 10 girls he's interested in. You can literally get the benefit of your $500 across a wide net of 100 different guys. He can't stretch his $500 that far."

    Now, that's not entirely true, but in the early 20s, it kind of is. As guys get older, however, we have things that are better than a nice pair of heels. We have businesses, houses, cars, boats, etc. Other than maybe gas (variable cost), those assets allow a guy to cast a wide net across a large number of females. The super-competitive ones will hunt you down and stalk you across Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, your firm's website, etc. They will size up your house, your car, etc., and see if you're the kind of guy their circle of female friends would be green with envy and jealousy over.

    Now, up until this point, as a man, you haven't actually done shit. You're just going about your business, and unbeknownst to you, women are scheming of ways to "accidentally" or "naturally" start interacting with you. Oh, maybe I can pop by his office and... maybe I can recommend a friend to him and just go along with my friend for company or help... maybe he shops at this place... I think I saw him hanging out at this place one... etc.

    She's already interested in you before you even know who she is. That's called "efficiency." Then there are the women who just wait by the bar all done up waiting why guys they actually want aren't around, or don't approach them at the bar. It's like, umm, hello, no offense, but why am I going to approach? I got a good thing going on with zero effort.

    0|2
    0|0
    • It's like you wake up every morning and there's $10,000 waiting for you next to your coffee. You don't know how it got there, but every morning, of every week, of every month, for the past 5 years, that's what's been happening. And there's an "employer" that's interested in you that's taken notice of you. So, they post a job ad and wait for you to respond, but it's like you don't even notice the job ad. They can't seem to understand why you wouldn't apply to a job that's so prestigious and pays so well.

      Umm, hello, it's because I'm not interested in working for $120,000 a year, when I have $10,000 per day waiting for me with zero effort on my part when I wake up each morning. You just can't compete with that.

      In a way, the older you get as a guy, I guess you get to experience what really super hot girls felt like in high school.

    • Show All
    • @SpinningDude69 like, in HS, there are all these events where guys are looking to prove to themselves that they're sexually valuable to girls, prom, etc., and "the hot girl" is like a prize, and whoever is "the hot girl" has like this feeling like she's walking on clouds.

      Well, after HS, and after college, when people have a taste of the real world, and everyone starts getting married and having babies, life sort of sets up the flip side for women, and now it's about being with "a guy like that." And whoever "a guy like that" is, is kinda walking on clouds. He's a means to an end, the end being the kind of lifestyle women want, the ability to make their friends jealous through social media, to feel like she has what it takes to be with that kind of man. So, guys who have it like that are floating on clouds (sexually speaking). And, ironically, are not that interested in sex lol.

    • Dropping Truth Bombs left and right

  • Look, it's backlash from decades of inequality and equal rights. Doesn't make it pleasant, but does make it understandable.
    But it is pretty basic fellas...
    Play poker? Call the bluff.
    If that girl you want for more than just snapping a batch onto/into (whatever) acts like a complete cunt even for a moment when you approach... feed it back by walking on brother.
    One-word responses with no eye-contact or a basic courteous smile? Don't say a single fucking thing more, look into space, and walk away.
    Eventually those nasty bitches out there that think they're all hot shit playing game will figure out that their stupid demeaning bullshit (what they call walls, defenses, etc) even when waded through, only results in a dude that wants to f**k, dump their load, maybe get some sweet vid to share with their buds or sell on watchmygf, and move on.
    Stick together brothers. Treat the nice girls right. Treat the nasties nasty. They'll get the picture pretty quick.

    1|4
    0|0
  • I agree completely, that's what I do. I'm not interested in girls who aren't interested in me anyway, so it's very easy to move on if I don't think she's interested. I don't think there's many PUAs/Gamers who will honestly say that you can game a girl who completely isn't interested, there always has to be some interest there to start with otherwise she just won't care about anything you're saying and therefore it doesn't matter what you say.

    0|2
    0|0
    • That's why you look for the signs first, does she's stare at you a lot or smile at you? Does she get jealous when you talk to other women? You get the idea. If she shows none of these signs then yes you may as well call it a day and look for someone else.

  • Are you kidding me? This gives me no info at all! The Game? Just say Hi? I wish it was that simple!. Looks has a lot to do with things. I know, I'm 31, and single! I'm shy too by the sway, and don't think that way at all (Meaning the first aspect of this one sided view. How embarrassing!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well there's the part where you have to overcome her defenses* even when she finds you attractive and you still need to convince her you have a sense of humor, etc... you could call that game.

    *sure, not every girl has those but a lot of them do and you shouldn't just settle for one who's easy for you but otherwise isn't very compatible with you.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Girls will generally act neutral or cold for the first 2 minutes that they get to know you. They need to know you're safe to be around and that you communicate well/are confident. Once you get past that stage they'll be more open and even start wanting to get to know you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • There has to be that initial attraction there, but then you have to take the lead as the man, and you have to know how to read her body language and what she really wants because most of the time she won't be straightforward about it and will put up barriers so she doesn't seem like a slut.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds a little biased in my opinion but, that's just my opinion. People wouldn't really have to worry much about game if they just approached the other person and started talking. You'll learn through experiences and start making better judgements

    3|0
    0|0
  • The real trick to game is not to over think it. Just metaphorically whip it out there and if she's available or interested in your bait she will latch on or not. Too many guys try the white knight/nice guy routine to show how much the respect a girl as a person but forget girls dont want someone who doesn't respect them enough to challenge them or call them on their B. S. Above all take the pussy of the pedestal, its just pussy so just say fuck it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • In other words talk to them lol.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't know, if still sounds like they need "game" by the end of this take. Your snowball effect idea was right on point though

    0|1
    0|0
  • To add to that, the signs are pretty obvious if you let your gut do the thinking.
    If you try to look for it logically, you will miss it.
    When your gut/instinct speaks, listen to it.

    Good Take.

    I too never go for girls who aren't attracted to me first somehow.

    0|0
    0|0
  • All your fodder comes from me. . all your changes you claim come from me. Tk. Haha. You ain't changed

    0|0
    0|0
  • Money + Status = Game

    I'm a
    ((Potential + Effort)(Experience + Effort) / Age) + Smooth Words^2 X Quirkiness = Game
    kinda guy

    0|0
    0|0
  • I haven't been able to attract a single girl via this method, so I am assuming it's true. That doesn't mean I'm giving up, it just means women are hard to please.

    0|1
    0|0
  • The only thing I disagree with is "no more" in the title. There never was a need for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Agreed. Great take, man! 馃憤

    0|0
    0|0
  • "every man has some girls that are already attracted to them"
    So naive...

    0|0
    0|0
    • not naive... girls who play WoW etc etc there are girls for every guy its just harder to find. become an explorer

    • I've been exploring all my life. I only *hear* about this kind of stuff. In real life it's pretty much a myth at this point.

  • So only approach girls who you know like you and leave the rest for the rest? Do I have that right?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm asking because I'm constantly hearing stories of girls being approached by random guys and just immediately lusting after them like crazy.

    • Show All
    • There are signs that girls give to random guys to show their interest. For instance, I was talking to a girl in the bar I went to Saturday night. I did not know her, but when she walked up, she brushed against me. Okay... who cares about that? Well it kept happening over and over again. We kinda got into a playful nudging war that ended with me finally talking to her. Little things that most people miss are the signs that should stick out the most.

      There was another one on Friday night at a different bar that brushed her hand against mine a couple times. I finally just placed mine on top of hers and she did not pull away. We held hands for a for a couple moments until I turned to her and said "You know, we haven't said a word to each other but we're comfortable enough to hold hands!"

      Other little signs may be:
      -holds prolonged eye contact with you
      - always stands near you (can look kinda awkward at times)
      - I've had a girl jab at my side before lol
      - smiles at you

    • @Baumber

      These signs exist but not every girl shows them, they also differ a lot from girl to girl and then there are girls who flirt just for fun or to make someone else jealous, etc... It's always going to be a risk and I'd say in more than 50% (more with hot girls, less with ugly girls) of cases they turn out to not be signs.

  • It's all about looks. That's why l will always be single. I'm an unattractive guy.

    0|0
    0|1
    • Don't be so hard on yourself man 馃槀 馃槀

    • @SpinningDude69 it's the reality of my life. Why are girls so nervous around me? Why do they stare from a distance? I feel like I scare girls so I don't talk to them.

  • More from Guys
    9
Loading...