Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

In my first year of college I was like a kid in a candy store! All these intelligent, witty, funny, sexy men... how could I resist?

My third class of the day was my favorite. I sat behind Nick...he was so HOT. The way he smiled, the way he looked so groomed and so mysterious. It was no wonder that all the girls sat beside him! And when he looked at you...it made you feel on top of the world :)

I recall a month into class, a girl sat in my seat (right behind Nick), so luckily there was a seat open beside him. He smiled and said "ahh now I can copy your notes by looking to the side, instead of behind me". I laughed and it wasn't long before we were joking around for a few weeks. It was the highlight of my day.

Finally the day had come!!! "A couple friends of mine are gonna see a movie, wanna come?" I was so excited! I got dolled up and met him alongside his buddy and his date. Nick was a gentlemen and bought us tickets and popcorn, and even opened the car door every time I made my way in and out of the car. A few dates later I was smitten and he told me that he really liked me. It wasn't just his looks, he was super nice and sweet- or so I thought.

It was probably our 6th date when his cell phone rang and he quickly flipped his phone over. I was a little suspicious but he said "my buddy wants to go drinking, but I'm spending time with my girl". I quickly let my guard down and he hugged me.

Two weeks later we were to go to dinner, when twenty minutes before he was to pick me up, I got a call. "Hey, my dad isn't feeling well- so I'm gonna drive up there, sorry but let's reschedule tonight". I was bummed, but I understood.

Then again a week later, Nick phoned to tell me that he forgot he has an exam and can't hang out that evening. I was trying to be understanding but at this rate, I couldn't see why we couldn't study together. So I did what at the time I thought would be a sweet gesture. I picked up some potato chips, drive-thru burgers and drinks and went to drop off some snacks for the guy I thought I knew.

Not sure whether it was fate... but right as I was about to walk up to his place, I saw Nick in his car with some girl and seeing as he was stroking her hair, I assumed "hey that's probably not his sister". Instead of creating a big scene, I simply waited for them to drive off. I took the snacks and food and put it outside of his door.

The next day I sat way up in the front, far away from Nick. He tried to speak to me after class, and text me, but I just ignored him. In fact, he really didn't even try that hard to win me back, come to think of it. For the remainder of the semester he was surrounded by girls.

Nick was symbolic that when a guy is too good to be true, he most likely is. I'm glad I didn't invest any more time into him. Just wish he was honest in saying, "I like you and a bunch of other girls".


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What Guys Said 55

  • 1mo

    Hot guys and hot girls are usually the same: they have LOTS of options (because they're hot, and so everyone wants them), and because they have lots of options, they take advantage of those options.

    Guys do it by getting with a bunch of different girls, and never committing to one. Girls do it either by using one guy for resources as she cheats with other guys or by using guys as steps to climb the social and financial ladder - leaving one guy as soon as a "better" (richer or better socially connected) guy comes along.

    They key here is that they have tons of options, and the more options they have, the more likely they aren't going to be remotely faithful. Why do you think rock stars and actors and pro athletes cheat, even when they are dating/married to some of the hottest women on the planet? The answer is: because they CAN.

    And why do young, hot women date older guys (who "happen" to have millions or billions of dollars, or "happen" to be famous and socially connected): because they CAN.

    Is anyone shocked that Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston and then on Angelina Jolie? Or that Tiger Woods cheated on his Swedish model wife? If so, you're incredibly naive. You think Justin Beiber has any shortage of ultra-hot babes throwing themselves at him? Of course not, and he's going to take advantage of that, because he's young, hot, rich, famous, and so he CAN.

    If I - a nobody who isn't handsome and is relatively old - tried to date Jennifer Lawrence or Scarlett Johannson or some other hot, famous girl - or even just some ultra-hot nobody - I'd have to be worried constantly that she'd fall for some other hot guy and get with him - because she CAN.

    I don't begrudge them for doing that - and I'm smart enough to know that's the reality.

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  • 1mo

    yeah, he's probably a defective model from the hot man factor

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  • 1mo

    So it's time to date an ugly guy? DAMNNN, what a time to be alive. Ugly guys will prevail!

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    • 1mo

      No they won't. It will be the typical song and dance, where she gets ran through by the whole football team, and then she wonders why none of them all calling them except for late night drunken booty calls.

      Then ugly mofos like yourself get the luxury of listening to them cry on your shoulders and complain that "all guys are assholes." Try to ignore the cock stench coming from her breath.

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    • 1mo

      My fault, when you're were saying "what a time to be alive," I thought you were reveling in the fact that you're ugly.

      Not bitter. It's just fun being crass.

    • 1mo

      @FullOfMyself No I was indeed being sarcastic

  • 1mo

    ha ha ha ha

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  • 1mo

    Sorry this happened to you, it must be an awful feeling :/
    I don't think it's because he's hot, it has nothing to do with looks, but him being a player and a douche. There's hot guys out there that are truly amazing.
    If it's too good to be true, it maybe is, but just because it looks that way, don't walk away until there's a reason to walk away, cause you may be walking away from something that is too good... and it's true.
    The last girl I was talking to (for 1 month and almost got together) did something pretty bad, and then when telling me why she did it, she said "you're to good to be true". I never gave her a reason to doubt me, but she still thought it wasn't true, so now she fucked up and will miss out.

    Just because it looks too good to be true, doesn't mean it's not gonna be true.

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    • 1mo

      I fully agree with you. It is easier for a hot guy to be a player, which does make it more likely that a hot guy would do something like this; but it's not because they are hot. Some men have a 'player'-mentality and a subsection of them actually manages to become one. Those are the ones to look out for.

      As you said, too good to be true doesn't always ring true

    • 1mo

      I agree with you. It is the kind of person the guy is, not what he looks like. I wouldn't avoid all hot guys because one happened to be a player.

    • 1mo

      Exactly, only defeatists have that mindset. Not all "hot" guys, are "bad" guys

  • 1mo

    a whore like you should be smeared with hot acid all over her face and forced to wear a fucking burqa

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  • 1mo

    Good. Im glad someome else got fucked by a hot person. Oh but u prolly actually got to fuck him. I jus got strung along.

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  • 1mo

    Most girls forget that there is "before sex guy" and after sex guy"... just like before relationship girl and after relationship girl.

    The before person will say and do anything to get you to believe they are something they are not, just to get what they want.
    The after person is the true colors of the person.

    Most "hot" guys live in the same world as the average to hot looking female... they get to pick and choose partners. They have an abundance of people doing shit for them and fighting for their attention... the difference is that women are so used to this that they take it for granted and often don't realize there is any such different world... men who get this attention on the other hand, become assholes because they know it is uncommon and that they have an upper hand against a female dominated game. They use this to their advantage because they know women will fall for it.

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  • 1mo

    And the ultimate reason you should never date a hot guy.
    http://img.memey.com/1/2/funny-fire-walking.jpg

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  • 1mo

    I kinda get what u mean. Why not reward the good guy who is charming, nice and confident though?

    I have a question, maybe you can help me out? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2141337-who-would-a-sweet-fun-girl-flirt-be-with-have-dirty-sex-with-based

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  • 1mo

    For some weird reason I attract a lot of women's attention. I get a lot of girls looking at me and getting all shy and nervous as well as a lot of genuine smiles and blushing. I'm not physically attractive and I try to come across as neutral.

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  • 1mo

    I just hope there might some decent "Hot" guys out there. I try not think of girls/women as types but individuals so I will judge each person as I meet them.

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  • 1mo

    A guy who attracts a lot of female attention is far more likely to lie and cheat. Naturally, consistent affirmations of his sex appeal will set his confidence to maximum and he will believe he won't ever have to struggle to find a mate.

    The real culprit, however, is dopamine, a neurotransmitter which, among other things, stimulates the brain to emote a sense of satisfaction, a reward for perpetuating your life and the survival of your species. Your brain gets a shot of dopamine for eating when you're hungry, or having sex when you're aroused, almost anything you do that promotes the continued existence of you and your kind.

    Since the "hot guy" has an overabundance of women at his disposal, he puts little to no effort into getting whatever woman he wants, and so effortlessly indulges the primal urge to procreate and then rewarded with the feel-good sensation we get from dopamine. He's been getting his "reward" often enough that his brain has become dependent on his own neurotransmitter to keep up his mood, and like any addict, he'll resort to almost anything to get his fix; in this case, he will suspend his empathy and move on to the next prospect as soon as his current "drug" of choice starts to lose its potency.

    In a sense, one could argue that such a guy is a victim of his own physiology under a social circumstance. People generally don't think of this behavior as a chemical dependency disorder, more like a case of "douche-baggery". But still, drug addicts can choose to fight their addiction, often they need a moment of clarity, to see the damage they're causing, before they make that choice.

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  • 1mo

    Alpha males rule the world. Every women thinks she deserves an alpha male. That's why so many average guys get thrown under the bus for seemingly no reason.

    Also, the mindless permute of the almighty alpha male is the main reason why more and more women are reaching their mid 30's never married, childless and disillusioned. It's simply a biological numbers game that is stacked against most women and most men. But that's how the modern day mating ritual is actually played out.

    Good article! I'm glad you're seeing the light...

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  • 1mo

    You girl is so good at writing narrative essays big ups to you

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  • 1mo

    So, while I'm attractive, I'm not "the hot guy"... but this post is bullshit. I know as many unattractive "players" as I do attractive. This might as well say "Why to not date guys" for all the sweeping generalizations here.

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  • 1mo

    Well, he probably has tons of girls throwing themselves at him.. can you blame him?

    YOLO why would he stick to just one, when he can have whatever he wants?
    Seems tempting.

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  • 1mo

    Haha I've had the same experience with hot girls. In fact I literally had a similar situation happen to me today. The difference between you and I is I learned in high school after dating several hot girls that when they inevitably do that to you, you can't let it hurt you.

    You have to let it go because they certainly don't spend any time thinking about you. And I'm not even a bad-looking guy but some people are born practically perfect and its near impossible to compete with them. When they get old and their looks fade, good people like us who get married to other decent people will be the ones who are happier than them I can tell you that. So don't let it get to you.

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  • 1mo

    Props to Nick.
    Sorry you got hurt.
    But you learned something valuable.

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  • 1mo

    Ha, outside of the fact that I'm very married, I'm perfect dating material, as I am completely not hot ;-)

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What Girls Said 38

  • 1mo

    I'm very sorry this happened to you. However, I think the overall concept of this myTake is a bit misguided.

    Just because someone is attractive doesn't automatically mean they are a player who will cheat on you. Not dating someone you are attracted to because you're afraid of being cheated on says more about you than it does about them. Being insecure can end up costing you a potentially great relationship.

    Cheating in general has very little to do with looks which is why even conventionally "hot" people can be cheated on by their partner. Anyone, regardless of how attractive they are, can be a cheater. So instead of seeing a hot guy and assuming he is a 'player,' taking a closer look at his personality, values, and attitude can be much more helpful in spotting a potential cheater.

    Writing off most men because of one bad experience is irrational. Again, I'm sorry for what you experienced but not everyone cheats. There are plenty of good guys out there. Hopefully you'll be able to move on and find someone much better in the future. :)

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  • 1mo

    I think it's unfair to say all attractive guys are like that, but it seems there are a lot of guys like that and I'm sorry that happened to you, it's good you found out sooner rather than later though. Guys like that? Well they aren't worth your time, hot or not, they shouldn't treat you like that.

    Hopefully you be more careful in future and find a genuine nice guy to be with. Judge on actions rather than words. Even the nice guys aren't perfect, no one is, but they at least treat you with love and respect.

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there with Nick, I hope you do find a nice guy to be with who treats you with the love and respect you deserve

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  • 1mo

    I'm so scared of this situation lol >< I don't necessarily get attracted to the "Hottest guy" but I'm really into "Alpha" guys T_T

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    • 1mo

      T_T
      I'm starting to think the red pill community is actually right, and their advice might actually be helpful. I used to think that their ideology of women loving the alpha male was just douche bag thinking, but it definitely produces results.

    • 1mo

      @UpperEchellon

      Its in our genes to find certain traits in the opposite gender attractive. Women find alpha males attractive because a long time ago before civil society, men had to protect women so it is only natural they find those men attractive.

  • 1mo

    As others have said, it has nothing to do with attractiveness. It has a LOT to do with the guy's attitude. I don't care how hot that guy is, if they are a dick then it was already a deal breaker from the start.

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  • 1mo

    "Why You Shouldn't Ignore The Many Red Flags He Gives You."

    Fixed your title. This story had nothing to do with a guy being hot.

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  • 1mo

    i like the way you write.
    some cute boys are loyal

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  • 1mo

    playboy

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  • 1mo

    im a hot girl and i can tell u that i dont have my choice or pick of men at all. about 95% of men reject me b/c i am hot and other men hate me b/c im hot and they feel im better than them. because im too hot i have to find a guy who isn't insecure and isn't going to try to put me down which is hard

    if you're a hot girl these days guys are insecure and they don't want to get with you.. even ugly guys reject me, most guys reject me. Too scared to be the 'person with the hot girl."

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  • 1mo

    I'm in a long term relationship with the 'hot guy', if he didn't treat you right that's unfortunate. But don't presume the way you were treated will be the same for everyone else. What you were dating was a player who also happened to be hot. Average guys play around with average women, ugly guys play around with ugly women.

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  • 1mo

    You so did not date Nick fucking Bateman.

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  • 1mo

    I'm just glad you got out before it really, really got worse, having you going months and months thinking he's faithful and really committed to you when that wasn't the case at all.

    Yes, when you're favored by your looks, maybe it can sometimes get to people's heads and they take advantage of it, but I guarantee you, he won't have those looks for long, and all that time he was playing around tugging at women's hearts, he'll likely find himself alone with no real relationship he ever gave the time and effort to work on.

    Then again, some attractive people aren't approached at all, due to others feeling intimidated, or having the assumption that they are full of themselves. If this was just ONE hot guy you had this encounter with, then don't cut yourself short of discriminating against all of them, but your title is almost like saying people should only date ugly or less attractive people. And this is not to say that less attractive people can't find love, becuase they clearly can. I've seen it way too many times in how love does not discriminate between those who are short, fat, super skinny, race, creed, nationality, etc.

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  • 1mo

    It's not because he's hot. It's simply because he's a self-centered douche. His looks would make no difference with his personality.

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  • 1mo

    Um. Not just hot guys. ALL MALES ARE NASTY PLAYERS. all they want is sex. If they are sureounded by a ton of girls , they will try to get all of them in bed at the same time without the other girls finding out. Guys don't give a shit about a girls feelings. They don't fall in love with girls. They only like boobs and sex. Its really sad and im glas i turned lesbian. Girls actually have feelings and love people deeply, not just their a**

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  • 1mo

    Thats typical for a good looking college guy. Not all good looking guys aspire to be players though. And I can attest to that because I have known a few.

    I kind of agree with redeyemindtricks in that you shouldn't have kept quiet. When you saw him in the car with that girl, that was your chance to call his bluff and completely humiliate him. Ruining his date in the process. Can't say he wouldn't have deserved it.

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  • 1mo

    Typical asshole.

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  • 1mo

    I am not gonna say if I agree with you or not. It takes a lot more to judge a guy than just his "hot".

    Personally, I do naturally stay away from "hot guy" or never think they can pay attention on me. Quite weird but "being hot" is actually a slight disadvantage for someone who want to make a move on me.

    There are hot guys did actually pay attention on me. (It was hard to make me believe that) I unconciously built some distance. However, the true reason is I am not attracted by their personality (not because they are hot).

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  • 1mo

    Been there done that. He'll break your heart ❤️

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  • 1mo

    Lol I dated a guy named Nick and this was sooooo funny! I'm always going to try to get the hot guy😂😂😂

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  • 1mo

    Becaue all the girls will always be after your guy for the fact he is hot

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  • 1mo

    TBH even the mediocre looking guys behave like this 😒

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