I Had Sex With My Boyfriend's Friend, And I'm Glad I Did

I had just graduated college and was living with my boyfriend of 1 year. We had our share of problems, and like every couple we fought. But at the end of the day, I thought our "rough" patch would one day just disappear, which in hindsight was naive.

It was my birthday and my boyfriend took me out for a nice dinner. I was so excited, as we sat down at the fancy table, and we were given our menus. I asked my boyfriend what he was going to get for his main course, but he just ignored me as he was scrolling through Facebook on his phone... I paused and asked him again, what he was getting. Without looking up at me he said, "I dunno whatever". I put my menu down and asked him, "what's wrong?".

He put his phone down and said "everything is a big deal with you, just shut up". I was speechless and emotional; holding back my tears was difficult, in fact I didn't know what to do. "It's my birthday, and you're on the phone and telling me to shut up, why?"- I asked. "Because all we have been doing this past year is fighting"- he responded. I continued to ask him why he remained in this relationship with me, but he was just silent. As I began to cry at our table, he got up and said, "this is embarrassing", before he got into his car and drove back to our home, without me...

After several calls to him with no reply, I took a taxi back to our home. I was livid and ready to end things, there and then. As you may imagine, there were words exchanged. My boyfriend broke our TV, made a hole in the wall, broke dishes, and even left a few bruises on my arms from where he grabbed me.

I moved out the following day to my parent's house. My boyfriend spent the next month in a different city (for work), calling me, apologizing, begging for me to come back...and I guess I really missed him because I decided to take him back. Of course it wasn't my intention, to deceive or hurt him- but when his mate called me that evening to go for coffee, I said "yes".


My bf's mate was really quite a sweet, shy guy, nothing too impressive. We went out a couple of times for coffee and just talked about general things like work and life. He was very different than my boyfriend, in that he was close with his family, never swore, was extremely non-aggressive and just down to earth. I had known him for a few years and felt like he was a solid friend.

One night we went out for drinks, and one thing led to another- and you guessed it... we slept together. At first I felt terrible about the whole thing but as the week went by, I realized that I made my decision for a reason.

I didn't want to be with my bf's mate, I knew he just wasn't a man yet...but going out of my boundary and doing something like I had done, indicated to me that my boyfriend wasn't the right guy. No matter what, my emotional attachment to him would never be the same. I felt betrayed and very hurt from the year of pain that we went through.


A month later my boyfriend came back to our home city and I broke it off for good. I don't think he ever found out what his best mate and I had done but although it was wrong, I am glad that I had done it. It was a big sign that it's time to leave and never look back.


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What Guys Said 70

  • 1mo

    That was a huge violation of the bro code by your ex's friend.
    What made him not man enough for you? You seemed to like him.

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  • 1mo

    there's no way to justify cheating and your ego boost will collapse into disappoint in yourself at some point or another.

    also the first time you cheat you allow a curse to enter your body that curse:

    makes you always considering cheating on anyone for the rest of your life

    believe that, when things are bad, there's always a good chance your partner is cheating on you

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    • 1mo

      True, but the moment he put his hands on her and bruised her it was over. He only has himself to blame for it.

  • 1mo

    What's the moral of this story?

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  • 1mo

    Wow you're bad 😈

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  • 1mo

    Hmmm... should I feel bad for an abusive boyfriend being cheated on?

    I say no.

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  • 1mo

    So you had sex after a failed relationship. Nothing new.

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  • 1mo

    You don't paint a very good picture of yourself in this story.

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  • 1mo

    "I knew he just wasn't a man yet"

    So you're a pedophile.

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  • 1mo

    hmmmm first gal I've heard of proud of being a cheating whore... if you could have restrained yourself until you dumped your asshole boyfriend for good, you'd have been quite the sympathetic figure.

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  • 1mo

    You are the definition of a dirty hoe. Unbelievable.

    You cheat on your boyfriend with his buddy then, HIDE it, and you have the audacity to flaunt it around like you're awesome and cool for pulling it off?

    You're the reason modern relationships don't work. Smdh

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  • 1mo

    Well, at least you broke it off with your boyfriend afterwards, but that's still a really shitty thing to do. And your conclusion is just bullshit. You backwards rationalized what happened, starting at the conclusion and working backwards. You didn't sleep with your boyfriend's friend because your boyfriend isn't the right guy. You did it because you're weak. Too weak to break it off with your boyfriend when you should have, and too weak to stick the by the decision not to break it off once you had made it. Anything else is a lie you told yourself to make yourself sleep better at night.

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  • 1mo

    Sloots gon sloot

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  • 1mo

    First off, he was definitely no friend
    second, it amazes me that with as much as women bitching about being called sluts and whores, the women that act like one post things like this. Only a piece of trash cheats. once a cheater, always a cheater. how pathetic.

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  • 1mo

    Stay single please. After reading this no man should ever trust you. I don't care what your ex did to you cheating unforgivable.

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  • 1mo

    I can't read all of this, it ruins my good mood.

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  • 1mo

    Revenge has a way of returning back to its owner like a loyal dog.

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  • 1mo

    i see no real point in feeling guilty the boy freind was a disrespectful jerk he did nothing but take yoou for granted while you wee with him. it was a good move on your part seeing how you wanted to move on. and being with his freind kind if showed you that your boy freind was not the one for you.

    let him lay in the bed he made, thats his problem not yours if this freind of his is better.

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  • 1mo

    You will regret it mark my words...

    You just fucked yourself in one of the biggest ways you could. From now on, trust is gone... both in yourself and others.
    If you're self reflective enough to understand this, you can work past it, but itll be long and hard and painful.
    If you're not, you're finished. You just threw the biggest curveball you could to your own happiness in relationships.

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  • 1mo

    So basically you had rebound sex, and you want us to call you brave?

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  • 1mo

    I don't approve of women who cheat.

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What Girls Said 25

  • 1mo
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    • 1mo

      I LOVE YOU FOR THIS PIC <33333

    • 1mo

      @SongBird3 :D Thank you, after a while of trying to think of how to describe this take but couldn't come up with anything. Felt like this gif fit perfectly with what I think. XD

    • 1mo

      Loki is the perfect guy to describe your feelings

  • 1mo

    This is what I don't get about people, why does it take you sleeping with his friend to decide to actually end it? He treated you like crap on your birthday, he threw things, punched holes in the wall and left bruises on your arm from grabbing you. Yet somehow it wasn't until you slept with is sweet, caring best friend that you realized you could do better? How is that possible?

    Look, your ex was an ass and there's no denying that but just like anything else in life one bad behavior doesn't not make another bad behavior okay or acceptable. It wasn't okay for your boyfriend to treat you like that and hopefully seeing there are guys out there that will treat you well, is helpful to you in the future. However, just because he was an ass does not mean you get sleep with is best friend and then somehow act like sex with one guy one time was your saving grace. There's a lot of things that save people but I've never heard of someone being saved by sleeping with someone else. That's just an excuse to justify bad behavior and that's not cool.

    To clarify, your boyfriend was an ass and it's great you two broke up. No one deserves to be treated that way. However, cheating is wrong no matter why you did it. So, instead of acting like sleeping with his best friend was the right thing understand it was the wrong thing and it wasn't okay to do (at least not in my book).

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  • 1mo

    His best friend probably knew him longer than you so... no reason to feel more guilty, if you do feel badly I guess. Why not just break up with your boyfriend first?

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  • 1mo

    Whatever makes you feel better.

    You should have realized when he left you at the restaurant on your birthday and started throwing things that your relationship had been over for a long time.

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  • 4d

    good share

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  • 1mo

    www.themarysue.com/.../...cuse-me-Say-what-GIF.gif

    media.tumblr.com/.../...line_mi575oLrLE1qz4rgp.gif

    I wished I could say You had me and then ya lost me.. but i was lost through out this take. Cheating ain't good no matter what circumstance. The guy you cheated on with broke the scared code for bros... not real homeboy. Ofc you're at fault i wish y'all just broke up.

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  • 1mo

    Sometimes i wonder what this world is coming too

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  • 1mo

    Usually I would go on about how cheating is bad. But this situation, your boyfriend did not deserve you and you were likely in a weak position. So if doing his best friend got you away from him then sure. I still don't think its good though.

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  • 1mo

    Good for you. Sounds like you were smart to walk. Good luck, hope you find happiness!

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  • 1mo

    Couldn't have you gone out of your boundary by having sex with someone else in stead of you bf's mate, and come to the same conclusion? Or Just Maybe... figuring it all out beforehand in your thinking brain. I think being a slut can be fun as long as you have some boundaries.

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  • 1mo

    We want a man whom we can’t have. We want a man who honestly doesn’t give a fuck about us, who doesn’t care if we come or go. That’s the kind of man we will pursue. Call them bad boys or call them whatever you want, that’s the kind of man we want – period. The kind of guy who will make us orgasm, crudely, and give us a huge sexual thrill in the bedroom, and then discard us like used toilet paper, and fuck our female friends afterwards, just because he can. (Just like we would do with his male friends.) And all hot women are narcissistic masochists. We hate it when things are going well, especially if they continue to go well for long periods of time. We know down deep that we are fucked-up and not worthy of anything that is truly good. So when things are going well in a relationship, we eventually sabotage it. We just can’t help ourselves in this regard.
    We could have the greatest, most handsome, most well-hung husband in the world—a one-of-a-kind man who makes all of our girlfriends jealous; we could have the greatest children in the world, who are beautiful, well-behaved and ambitious; we could have the most enviable career imaginable; we could have all of the money and prestige and the truly good things in life, and we could repeatedly tell ourselves over and over, and believe, on the surface, that we would never cheat on our husbands. But down deep we know that it’s a lie. Because one day, we could walk into a grocery store, and some bad boy could whisper just the right combination of words in our ear, and the next thing you know, we’re at the Motel 6 getting it in the ass. That’s just how we are, and any woman—especially a hot woman—who says otherwise, is a liar.

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  • 1mo

    Once a cheater, always a cheater. For the sake of men everywhere, please stay single. You had your chance.

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  • 1mo

    So what you're saying is you stuck around while some douche took a dump on your back then let his douche friend use you like a tissue... Another stupid girl out to kick her own backside. Here's what's going to happen to you. You're going to be screwed up for several years and end up in more bad relationships. This is your fault you chose to let all this happen.

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  • 1mo

    What was the point of this story? The only message I got from this is that you, your ex, and your ex's friend are all shitty people.

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  • 1mo

    Yeah the first guy seem like a total douche. I want to find a guy that will fix the things I want, but how am I supposed to find it if it's so hard to find.

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  • 1mo

    You're ridiculous

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  • 1mo

    Whores will be whores, stay protected.

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  • 1mo

    so you're just a horrible person who is trying 2 blame your ex for cheating on him. way to go then cause it doesn't make u a good person

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  • 1mo

    Good girl, sometimes we need to get under somebody to get over somebody

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  • 1mo

    I admire you 🐜🐜🐜🐜

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