Why Men Should Pay for the First Date

You Don't HAVE to

To make things clear- I'm not one of those cancerous male feminists who agree with shit females say to be on their good side. You don't HAVE to pick up the bill, just like you don't HAVE to hold your fart in on a date. You won't go to jail for either of those things.

There will also be women who're not only cool with but insist on splitting the bill, and if that's exactly the woman you want- then make sure you ask every single date you're with to split the bill and you'll find her eventually. The rest is for the others, who aren't quite sure what they want.

Don't let feminism ruin it

Okay, "what if she's already ruined it with her incessant feminazi behavior?" Unless she's a total cunt, in which case you might as well pretend you're taking a piss and escape, most girls that embrace equality do retain a lot of feminine characteristics and they want a man. A lot of women just want to be heard, they don't want to scream in your ear. You can still be a man. You can SET the dynamic. Equality =/= castration.

Some stigmas will exist. A guy that sleeps with tons of hot girls gets fist bumps. A girl that sleeps with tons of guys is a slut. A guy that pays for the first date shows interest. You cannot completely erase certain expectations that come with your gender... at least for the next couple decades.

Women have their end of it too

They don't wake up from a 4 hour nap and hop on to get a free meal. Women spend quite a bit (efforts and $$) on makeup, waxing and all that shit. How would you feel if your woman showed up with arm hair? Sure, she CAN do that, but that's equality gone cancerous.

Okay, there are women out to get a free meal but I'd risk a dinner whore over not giving the impression my gut wants me to to an awesome chick I'm interested in.

It's just the first date!

Dinner can get expensive, so I'm only talking about the first date. Over a couple of dates I'd most definitely expect her to pay her end. If money's a problem, go on an inexpensive date. Don't take her to Chez La Walletkiller if you're lagging behind on rent. Girls do appreciate non-expensive dates.. and the ones that don't, well you just weeded out the parasites.

Women have more to lose by having sex than guys do. "I paid for dinner, suck me off!" is as stupid as "I look pretty, marry me". Don't be one of those people.

Ba dum tss


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What Girls Said 18

  • 1mo

    Either way... I'm still a firm believe in splitting the bill and then you're done with it, or if someone insists on paying, then they can pay, that's fine too.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah thats fair, by default i think its best to always have intentions to split the bill but if someone stops you and really insists on wanting to pay for everything then its best just to let them do it because some people genuinely get insulted lol XD

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    • 1mo

      i honestly am a firm believer of the man paying. Its class, and chivalry. And it shows you care

    • 1mo

      @j8k322597 each to their own.

  • 1mo

    If it's his idea he can pay, if it's her idea she can...

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    • 1mo

      So if you go out with your friends and it's their idea... they pay?

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    • 1mo

      Oh lord people, So many.

    • 1mo

      @Belgie Yeah woman don't ask guys out because when they do they are usually viewed as easy or desperate, plus they are afraid the guy doesn't really like them, just said yes because he wanted to be with someone, anyone (that's the dear anyway). Has nothing to do with paying... at least not with any of my friends.

  • 20h

    good.

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  • 1mo

    Whoever ask should pay first

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  • 1mo

    My ideal scenario involves them offering to pay though. I usually politely decline anyway so no losses for them there. But the intention matters to me.

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    • 1mo

      What if he insists? I think I would, the girl would have to insist to pay her half. My ideal scenario involves them feeling nice that I paid instead of feeling like they were entitled to it.

    • 1mo

      Of course. It is nobody's duty to pay for someone's ANYTHING. That is a nice gesture that needs to be acknowledged and thanked for (not with sex though cause then it's prostitution).

    • 1mo

      You get it.

  • 1mo

    I SEE PUSSY IN YOUR FUTURE :) :P

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  • 1mo

    I think the guy should always pay. What happened to treating women like ladies?

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    • 1mo

      What happened to women acting like ladies? You ask that like it's so straight forward.

    • 1mo

      It is isn't it?

    • 1mo

      Men don't act like they need to take care of women because women don't act like ladies that need to be taken care of. Simple.

  • 1mo

    The thing is, splitting the bill or taking turns is really the only option that's truly fair. Expecting the guy to pay *just* because he's a guy? That's sexist.

    We don't *have* to put on makeup, so that's a moot point.

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  • 1mo

    Men should ALWAYS pay they are supposed to be the protectors and providers. Where have all the true men gone? These so called men are so cheap and whiny and pathetic. I've been on dates with men that would never allow me to pay no matter what, I would even have to struggle and argue with them. There are no more men in the thisworld it seems.

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    • 1mo

      That's cause there aren't many "women" in the world. Are you ready to be the submissive housewife and let a man take control?

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    • 1mo

      @ThatJarHead *1 grammatical error
      Soz, I'm a Nazi.

    • 1mo

      I am not reading everything i wrote again, point out my solecism, it would be a typing mistake anyway.

  • 1mo

    Yes! To your make up point. While I've never personally gone to such extremes, I know girls who will spend huge amounts on make up, clothes and hair products just for guys. Without spending money though, lots of girls can still take hours preparing. As you said, waxing/shaving, doing hair, finding the right outfit that fits in all the right places etc, it's not quick or easy.

    Yes again to the first date. Honestly any girl who expects him to pay every thing every time is no good anyway. First dates are generally not expensive either. Quick dinner, coffee or a movie, it's not exactly spending hundreds. And totally agree with girls not minding cheaper or free things. Museums, picnics etc, all things girls who genuinely liked a guy would really enjoy and appreciate the effort he made.

    And your last bit 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

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  • 1mo

    If I ask someone out I pay because when people ask me out, friends and men who are looking to date me they pay. Its just the way things are in my neck of the woods.

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  • 1mo

    Im all for splitting the bill. I always feel guilty when someone does something like pay for my stuff, i don't like to be a burden on anyone so splitting it is totally fair.

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  • 1mo

    great take.

    I stay firm in my belief that it should be 50/5

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  • 1mo

    Why not split the bill? Isn't that the polite way of doing it?

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  • 1mo

    if the person initiates the date: they usually pay ( that's not gender specific but etiquette).
    if she participates with paying, that was a courteous gesture.
    if she asks you out then she pays and you can decide whether you wanna pay or not.

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    • 1mo

      So if you go out with your friends and they initiate it... they pay? A date is supposed to be a mutual want, if you don't want to go out with the guy, just say no.

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    • 1mo

      @amphet11 no, actually i didn't. i meant that as in how annoying it would be as well as if he always kept track when if i paid or not.

    • 1mo

      @Kirah well, i'm not correlating my life with anyone else's. i'm saying in my life experiences, i usually initiate, so most of the time i pay or he wants to pay half. that's the problem with you and everyone else, no one mentioned whether i should compare myself to others when i go out. however, this is the way i usually go. my friends and i take turns to pay for lunch or an outing each a week.

  • 1mo

    Thank you MyTake Owner. I completely agree with you.

    I dont think any woman should expect it of course- but its a super nice gesture. You won't be single for long.

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    • 1mo

      You had me up until "You won't be single for long" haha. I paid for every date I've ever been on, and I've only had one actually want a 2nd date. And that's over 10 different dates. Maybe I just have bad luck with dating and other guys will have it better though.

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    • 1mo

      You think something material like paying for a date has a big impact on them being a good personality or character match for you? I'm assuming you'd already be physically attracted if you agreed to go out.

    • 1mo

      @cavmanier having good character? Yes

  • 1mo

    Exactly I don't understand why guys bitch about 20 dollars 😂

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    • 1mo

      And you're different how? I mean, if it's "just 20" dollars, what problem do you have paying them?

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    • 1mo

      HAHAH only broke bums

    • 1mo

      @Afrochick true lol

  • 1mo

    Totally agree! It takes a while to put on makeup and prepare for a date. Also makeup is expensive! Like a small container of good foundation can be up to 60$ and that is just the foundation!

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    • 1mo

      Nobody forces you to wear it though.

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    • 1mo

      @ThisDudeHere don't go on an expensive date, just go for a walk and coffee then. Also a woman has to put way more time in, time=money again not including all the extra products she has to buy to have on hand for dates

    • 1mo

      And the downside to that is that a guy will be seen as cheap.
      And again, no one's forcing you to do that.

      All right, our opinions on this are far too different and we're going in circles - I don't see this argument going anywhere.

      Have a nice day, ma'am.

What Guys Said 28

  • 1mo

    NO ONE should pay for the first date - or at least, the amount of money should be so small as to be negligible.

    The concept that a date requires the spending of money is lazy and naive. The purpose of a date is to spend time together and to TALK TO EACH OTHER - specifically to discuss areas of compatibility to try to determine if there are any serious "red flags" that would prevent a long-term future together.

    There are all kinds of things you can do as a first date that cost very little or nothing at all, where you can still accomplish the above goals.

    Quit worrying about spending money, and START thinking about how NOT to spend it and still have an interesting and personal time together. Save the money-spending for AFTER you've vetted each other and are pretty sure things are going to work out. DON'T spend much - if anything - before you've gotten to know each other. She won't appreciate it nearly as much then as she will later on, and she also won't feel obligated - or afraid that YOU think she's obligated (a feeling that most women hate) to do things because you paid for her dinner, etc.

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  • 1mo

    "A guy that pays for the first date shows interest."

    -And it's also true the other way around.

    "Women spend quite a bit (efforts and $$) on makeup"

    -Which is entirely their own choice but that does not merit an obligation/expectance for me to pay. I didn't ask a woman to put makeup on for the date. Hell, I'd prefer if she didn't have any.

    "It's just the first date!"

    -The problem here is that for a woman it is just a first date AND it may be her last with him, if she's disinterested. But what does that mean for the guy? It means he lost money and gained nothing AND he has to redo it all over again only to potentially end up the same way.
    Mutliple "first" dates with multiple women can drain a wallet real fast.

    So again, highly convenient for women to expect him to pay on a first date. Highly inconvenient for the man, if the date, and multiple following dates don't work out.

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  • 1mo

    Why men should pay for the first date: they shouldn't. If she won't pony up her end of the bill spray some Bitch B'gone.

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  • 1mo

    I'm a firm believer in being single answer keeping my cash.

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  • 1mo

    With today's promiscuous women, paying for them isn't worth it. Not to mention that they respond better to selfishness, that's why all the jerks get pussy all the time. These feminist women don't deserve to be treated specially.

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  • 1mo

    Um speaking as someone who when younger had a LOT of "first" dates, just letting you know, it frickin adds up... ok? Screw paying for dates. Women want equality, we can equally split the bill lol.
    Reminds me of this one time i went out with this girl and my food (with drinks) came up to around 15, hers was bordering on 40. the look on her face when i told the waiter we were paying separately was Priceless, i love seeing that look.
    As for your other point of them putting on make up and all that crap, they do that FOR THEM not for me. I don't care if she has pajamas on. i want to spend time with the girl, not her clothes and im not a fan of make up. women do that for themselves because it makes THEM feel good confident. so that point is moot.

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  • 1mo

    She uses makeup should not be a excuse...

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  • 1mo

    I don't see why this is even such a common topic to bring up.

    At least to me, it feels pretty natural to pay. It's a nice gesture, especially if you know the person for example is a student while I got a paying job.

    I don't have a very uptight relation with money (read: economically irresponsible). Like if I'm shopping with a friend, they can go "pay for mine as well" or once at a festival that went on for like 3 days, I had my friend pay for everything I bought because I didn't have any cash.

    It feels like such a non-issue to me? No matter if you're a girl/guy, just outrighly offer to pay or suggest to split; if the situation turns pissy, then that person is probably too uptight to be around anyway?

    My view at least.

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  • 1mo

    Let me ask you something. Is your imagination so poor that all you can conjure up for a first date is dinner?

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    • 1mo

      Did you read the whole thing? I said take her out on other dates.

    • 1mo

      ..."so I'm only talking about the first date"...

      then there are pictures of dinner plates and forks.

  • 1mo

    This would matter more if it where not for the fact that all you hear is what men should do, how men should be. I do not disagree with men paying for the first date, in fact it makes a lot of sense, however I find that women do not reciprocate, its not you being a gentlemen its you doing what you have to do because you have a penis. Its entitlement and non reciprocation (and no that doesn't mean she has to have sex with you) that has made this an issue. If we start telling women how they should act and what they should do and what they should be responsible for instead of only telling men this then the problem would resolve itself. But so long as it remains one sided their will be continued issues with this.

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  • 1mo

    I think girls just like it because it proves that you have a job and money to spare and you aren't a loser.

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    • 1mo

      I prefer splitting though because I want to date someone who also has a job and money herself :)

  • 1mo

    Better idea than spending money on women: Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW).

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  • 1mo

    Men, stop giving in to women. Everything is handed down to them at the flick of a finger. Turn the tides, lads.

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  • 1mo

    Most dates don't cost enough to even complain about it. You spend more on your Cheetos per month.

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  • 1mo

    This seems very reasonable to me. I also don't see why some people want there to be rules that are carved in stone. You can always decide from case to case. Did we have a really great time together and I'm already kinda crushing on the girl? Well, why not pay. Do I find her extremely boring or conceited? Let's just split it.
    However, I found your last remark to be the truest. First dates don't have to be expensive. In fact, it's even better if they're not expensive because going on a cheap date will show you how materialistic the girl is. Does she complain about the lack of luxury or does she seem totally content?
    Personally, I had my first "meeting" (sort-of-date) with my fiancé in a bakery. We both had a cup of tea and a piece of fruit pie. I happily paid for her. The second date took place in a café on our university campus. We just had a soda and talked a lot. Again, it was very cheap and I happily paid. It was only by the third date that we did something big (I invited her for dinner and playing pool billard). That date cost me around 150-200 bucks (yes, Switzerland is expensive...) but it was okay because by that time, I was already crushing on her like crazy. Plus, we also did cheap dates later again, for example I once took her on a walk through the woods after it had snowed a lot. That was one of the most beautiful evenings in my life and it was completely free :-).

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  • 1mo

    Nah.. Treat your dates like a good friend, would you expect your friend to pay your way cause they asked if you wanted to go out and do something? Would you expect sex from your friend because you paid their way? Probably not, unless your a real looser.

    It's about respect and treating people with decency. Pay your own way.

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  • 1mo

    I do more than a lot of women to look good. Not that it matters anyway. Whether you pay it not isn't the ingredient that attracts her.

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  • 1mo

    I've never dated anyone, thus I never have to worry about paying for a date. Besides I've had bad experiences dining out with shady friends in the past so these days so I almost never eat out with anyone anymore because I've long stopped trusting anybody and I've made a new rule to whomever that wants to go eat at a restaurant with me Must follow my rule that everybody pay for their own orders and decide how much they want to tip on separate bills instead of combined bills, with the only exceptions if I had already said beforehand that the bill is on me.

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  • 1mo

    I'm with you.

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  • 1mo

    People are ridiculously cheap these days. I demand paying. Have had women leave half on the table despite my demands.. and I leave it as a tip. But it is rare it gets that far.

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