How Having Two Boyfriends Actually Saved My Relationship

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 2 years. With the ups and downs, breakups, fights, and getting back together...I realized that I am not done with him, or at least I am not ready to call it quits for good. The reason? We have our issues but at the end of the day, I know there is potential; he is just hard to handle.

I met the other guy in my life at work. He fully knew that I have a boyfriend of over 2 years and that we have our ups and downs. But most importantly he was okay with spending time with me, going on dates, (nothing physical ever), and getting to know me, while helping me see what it is that I want.

Over the past few months of my boyfriend being gone off and on for work, and me spending time with the other guy- I started to see that there was a change in how I acted and felt around my 2 year boyfriend.

For instance, I wouldn't nitpick, nor would I fight over things that had some meaning to me like I did in the past. I started to literally not care anymore, to the point where I pulled back so much...

To my surprise however, my boyfriend started putting in more effort and being a man, rather than a boy when he sensed that I was pulling away.

If we were in a fight, I would silently go to my room and spend time there. My boyfriend would wait a few moments and then come to me with an apology. Whereas before I would yell and we would get into a screaming match, leading to us not speaking for hours...

I also became more confident. I wasn't putting all of my eggs into one basket and that made me really feel empowered.

No matter what you want to call it, dysfunctional, wrong, etc... having the other guy in my life- helped me to not only grow, but save the relationship I have with my 2 year boyfriend.


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What Guys Said 33

  • 1mo

    I think you should let your boyfriend know how much 'effort' you're putting into this relationship, like finding another dummy boyfriend for practice and stuff. I'm sure he would appreciate it.
    media0.giphy.com/media/cQtlhD48EG0SY/giphy.gif

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  • 1mo

    So in other words, you are two-timing someone who has been with you for two years. At best, you're a cheater who doesn't deserve any man's commitment. At worst you're basically cuckolding him. Either way, your two-year boyfriend should dump you and find a girl who is worthy of a man's loyalty.

    media.giphy.com/media/akJQnI4FjHsEE/giphy.gif

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  • 1mo

    Damn, I feel bad for the 2nd guy. He didn't get any play nor any real loving companionship from you.

    Sucks for him. :-/

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  • 1mo

    So you wanted a man, but you still kept acting like a bitch...
    What are disgusting person you are.

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  • 27d

    I came here for the comments ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

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  • 28d

    Fan-tas-tic

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  • 1mo

    If you can have multiple boyfriends, then I should be allowed to have multiple girlfriends, right?

    Alas, I never had a girlfriend, and probably never will.

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  • 1mo

    So if you haven't done anything physical with the second guy then isn't he essentially just a platonic male friend you hang out with ocassionally?

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  • 1mo

    Of course and it's perfectly okay for other guys to use you as a practice girl and have another girl on the side.

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  • 1mo

    Nice piece of autobiography, right up there with Mein Kampf.

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  • 1mo

    Thanks for putting a pic of priyanka, hot!

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  • 1mo

    and then i hear that men are disgusting -_- smh

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  • 1mo

    2 at the same time? I don't think I can wrap my head around that.

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  • 1mo

    This is a terrible take, but w/e floats your boat.

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  • 1mo

    Ok, that just wrong.

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  • 1mo

    hun you are a women feel how you want trust me
    you don't have much power

    I also became more confident
    that made me really feel empowered

    LOL PLEASE STOP

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  • 1mo

    Similar experiences with having two gals when one would turn into Hitler.
    My advice: never go back, no matter how great the reform
    There's a reason people stray or include others into the relationship = something's missing or distasteful and my experiences have proved... these may reform or submerge but only temporarily and if/when they come back, it's a slingshot effect = they come back in spades and with revenge on you, a real nightmare

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  • 1mo

    Personally I would dump you if I had been dipping my laddle into another man's soup.

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  • 1mo

    I don't think I could do it - It is a bit dysfunctional at the very least and your first boyfriend doesn't know so maybe a bit wrong, how would you feel if he had a second girlfriend?

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  • 1mo

    I'm sure if he did the same to you and ''saved his relationship'' you will give him a hard time if no time by breaking up.

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  • More from Guys
    13

What Girls Said 8

  • 1mo

    "My [Lame] Justification For Emotionally Cheating On My Boyfriend"

    There you go, title is fixed.

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  • 1mo

    So basically you are trying to justify you two-timing your long term boyfriend? Tell him about your experience using another guy as a guinea pig to "practice" with, and let's see how happy he'll be then, shall we?

    No. There's no excuse to cheating ever. You're trying to act like a good person and that the cheating was justified, but no. Cheating is a cowardly act that weak-minded people do. I bet if he did this to you wouldn't see things the same way.

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  • 2d

    nice jobb

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  • 29d

    Well whatever works... nothing physical happened so your good... he was a friend.

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  • 1mo

    Why are the pink anons so slooty?

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  • 1mo

    So basically cheating is the answer to relationship problems? I can't say I agree.

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  • 1mo

    No, I don't see it.
    Your a two-timer. Using another guy... ha-ha-ha.
    You take relationships lightly. 😏

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  • 1mo

    Haha... nice #clickbait title.

    If there really WAS "nothing physical ever" (your words) with dude no. 2... then... you didn't even do anything wrong!

    I mean, OK, I'm sure there was a fair amount of tension in those interactions -- but, tension can be FUN. Tension is something that can be ENJOYED... without any ambivalence, and without any "feeling torn" or "feeling conflicted" or actual sense of temptation.
    From what you wrote, you not only enjoyed that tension -- and successfully navigated those interactions, while still staying faithful in yr primary relationship -- but also learned a fair amount about yr own needs, and about how to manage yr own relationship, along the way.
    Honestly, I'd say everybody wins, here.

    On top of that -- Lots of people would end up dissatisfied with their primary partner after something like this. Grass is always greener, etc.
    Not only didn't you cheat, but you're STILL happy -- even happier, in fact -- with yr boyfriend!
    No matter how this relationship ultimately ends up in the long-term... He should feel pretty damn good about that. <3

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    • 1mo

      What do you think about emotional cheating? Lots of people say that's worse than physical cheating.

    • 1mo

      @SovereignessofVamps Well... I mean... in my experience that doesn't tend to happen unless a girl is already "checked out" of her current relationship. With guys, I really don't know -- it's not as though guys would really open up about this sort of thing too often.

      "Emotional cheating" would be something to look out for in a very long-term rl, **IF** we're dealing with someone (either man or woman) who tends to always IMMEDIATELY see the grass as greener somewhere else whenever there's any hint of a problem.
      In that case, it would really be the more fundamental character trait -- the "grass is always greener" thing -- that would need to be addressed, rather than the isolated instance of emotional intimacy with someone else.

    • 1mo

      @redeyemindtricks Totally agree, and I think emotional cheating is hard to define anyway. I argued with people about it, but couldn't think of more points, on why it's hard to define, so hoped you had some xD

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