4 Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing

Dating as we know it has changed in the modern world, especially in a world where dating sites/apps, social media, and smartphones are very prevalent.

It seems like getting dates, hookups, and flings are easy but the most challenging part is actually finding a serious relationship. Having said that, while getting dates and hookups is better than nothing, they are only fun while they last and the process can be tiring when you feel like you're constantly starting fresh and the cycle continues where you date someone till it ends, whether you end it or the other party does.

Here are some things I've been told that I get tired of hearing when having my issues with dating or getting screwed over by someone I truly liked.

1. "There's plenty of fish in the sea."

While this is true, what good is it if the results end up the same way. I mean I take accountability for my actions and don't blame the entire gender for bad experiences, but the worst part is when you keep trying and don't know what's causing you to consistently fail. I try to keep my options open as well until there's exclusive talk but generally it doesn't even get to that point.

2. "Love happens when you least expect it."

That also may be true but there's no set timeline for these experiences as everyone goes through life differently. Even at times when we find someone that we feel are a match and then it ends abruptly, there's no guarantee of finding someone else shortly afterwards or whenever for that matter. Also, dry spells happen. It has seemed that when one's interested, many are, but no one is, no one is. It also gets confusing because were supposed to be putting in effort and making the move, but if it doesn't work out, were supposed to just sit back and wait for someone to come into our life? I mean for other people that actively look and find someone, they should be cheered while those of us who struggle should just stop?

3. "You're too picky."

I'm not the pickiest person out there, but I also have standards. There is no such thing as a perfect woman or man for that matter, but the person has to be at least somewhat physically attractive, have a good personality, and some things in common. If they are completely lacking in one of these departments then it won't work out. I've had dates where the girl is really cute but we don't click or have nothing in common as well as times where the girl has things in common and a good personality but I have no physical attraction and I can't force it. I've tried settling before and I just felt desperate. It's also a waste of time.

4. "You'll find somebody."

This kinda builds off number 2 but while this sounds like encouraging and helpful, you don't know when it'll happen. When I got rebounded and told people some people about how messed up the situation was, they'd say move on you'll find someone at a concert or whatever hobby you have. It just doesn't work like that and kinda gives false hope.

Having said that. This isn't to blame an entire gender for our issues, whether it be girls or guys. That mentality doesn't help anyone. It can just be frustrating when you put effort in and have nothing to show for it especially when it all ends up the same way.

While these phrases seem like sound advice and encouraging, the main problem is they don't exactly help and most of the time we don't know what we're doing on our end that could be causing our struggles. It could be due to the other person, but it could also be due to ourselves as well and how do we know what to improve on if no one tells us what we're doing wrong?


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What Girls Said 10

  • 5d

    liked it

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  • 24d

    I know what you mean when you are unable to find serious relationships online, because virtual reality has the power of anonymity that people do abuse. So you don't know the real motives of this "person" whom you're interacting with. That's why it cannot replace real connections in reality where your feelings can develop towards a person despite their appearance, and that's when chemistry between 2 people can occur. Relationships have higher chances of lasting longer when it isn't sourced online. But again its VERY DEPENDENT on your personality type/ nature and whether you/ your partner gives the relationship the chance to grow.

    1-4. That's when your socializing skills come into place. No, not at the clubs or pubs because (not to stereotype or anything) I think people who are busy with their lives and they are passionate individuals wouldn't be wasting their time here. Instead you would want to try working different jobs, volunteer etc. to gain a better exposure to a spectrum of the types of people you meet. If you always fish in the same "underground spot" then you're going to always catch fishes that display the same traits/ mindsets. You do realize intelligent and/or passionate people rarely show themselves on social media.

    I feel you might have been too impulsive to bring the relationship further, you may have to give it some time to grow into unconditional love. To empathize with a person in a given situation, you should analyze your partner's behavior, speech & expressions. It's a skill that takes experience to build.

    People who are physically attractive has the advantage and usually, I say usually, things roll out in their favor. Sometimes they take it for granted and heavily depend on public validation. They might not see a need to groom their character/ personality.

    Generally the millennial generation is a current social movement that has influenced how we treat relationships. Our impatient attitude, unforgiving & individualistic nature will inadvertently affect how we are being treated and how we treat people. I constantly question my cynicism and pessimism, similar to what this take is doing.

    What I'm trying to say is, if you have the right attitude in focusing on you want in life other than a relationship, people will come to you. When it does, you must love fearlessly and selflessly. Your empathy for others is the winning trait. Of course, realize when you are being abused. I always tell people, time is the only thing I can give

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    • 24d

      Typo ***Too impulsive and prevented a relationship from going further

    • 23d

      I don't rush into relationships. Whether I like a person early on or not, I still take it slow. It just doesn't get to that point. And it isn't like every time I get a date with a girl, I think oh this is the one, relationship. Getting that far ahead of yourself early on is unhealthy and be disappointing.

  • 25d

    I'm a widow and I hear: "Do you think you'll ever get married again?" And I'm thinking: "Am I required to do that again?" I'm not even sure I want another love relationship!

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    • 25d

      Sorry for your loss. And yeah I remember my Dad was saying why doesn't our neighbor whose husband died of cancer 6 years ago find another husband? He didn't say it to her face thankfully but it's like seriously? She's in her 60s and she was with him since middle school, why would she just find someone to replace him like that, especially at age.

    • 25d

      I mean if she wants to that's fine, but in the end, it's her decision, not anyone else's. Just like it is with you.

    • 25d

      I'm glad he didn't say it in front of her. Sometimes we just have one mate and after so long with them we can't just replace them.

  • 26d

    The pic on #3 is true and funny af! Lmao😂👏

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    • 25d

      Yeah, around my area it's either they're not attractive at all or they're cute but boring and I have nothing in common with them. I've had dates where I thought the girl was cute but they either wouldn't talk much or most of our conversation would be generic small talk.

  • 26d

    I always get asked "so, have you got a boyfriend yet?" by acquaintances or friends of the family that I don't see very often.
    When I answer "no, I've been on dates but just haven't found the right person yet."
    They always reply back with "well you'll need to get your finger out and get a boyfriend then" or "you're wasting away, its about time you had a boyfriend. . . you're 25"
    So annoying, I know I'm a late bloomer. But I'd rather remain single than be with someone who's not right for me.

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  • 26d

    Great Take. I a 32 and I am sick of hearing this; I am also sick of these two questions:

    1. Why are you single? (I would love to answer: why are you too stupid to understand that if someone us single it's obvious that they haven't found the right person)

    2. Why you didn't get married? (Answer: same, stupid!😁😁😁)

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    • 26d

      Yeah I've never gotten number 2 but some people might say why are you single and it's like haven't find the right one.

      Another one I forgot to add that not many have said but one friend told me I have commitment issues when a girl was super clingy and I wasn't attracted to her, she had misleading pictures too. It's like I don't have commitment issues, I'm just not gonna settle and commit to someone I'm not into.

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    • 26d

      Fuck that. Kids aren't for everyone. Besides I have friends with kids and while they love their kids, they also hardly get any free time aside from that and work.

    • 25d

      right!

  • 27d

    Clap Clap. Great mytake. Im tired of hearing this shit too

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    • 26d

      Yeah, these are just very cliche answers that don't help anything. What's even more annoying is when you do find someone and then it ends badly, you still hear the same shit.

      A few months ago I got rebounded, used, and ditched after sex by a girl I really liked and when I told others about it, they acted like I was being needy and clingy and then said just move on or there'll be other girls as if everything was ok after that.

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    • 26d

      Guys usually do that to women

    • 26d

      Yes they usually do but there are women who still use men and play them too.

  • 27d

    "... while getting dates and hookups is better than nothing..." No it really isn't. But you've missed a few things in this myTake

    - Why are you still single?
    - Don't you want to get married/have kids?

    Then what if that person doesn't want to date and stay celibate?:

    -You need to be with somebody
    -Don't get lonely?

    Other than that, you have the 4 things correct.

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    • 27d

      Yeah those are valid points too.

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    • 27d

      myTake Owner

      I don't believe in hooking up and having casual sex. What you decide to do with your sex life is your business. But it doesn't mean anything if one decides to waste it. Especially when I wouldn't want a person who's into that stuff.

    • 26d

      Gotcha to each their own.

  • 27d

    Another one that always got/gets on my nerves is something my mom does do when I'm single. If there was an event/activity I didn't want to go to, my mom would tell me that I will "miss" out on young guys that might be there. Most of the time I would show up and would be twiddling my thumbs out of sheer boredom. Not only did I not have a good time, I would come home extremely disappointed. I go to events to enjoy myself, not for the opportunity of meeting someone. So yeah don't tell single people this if they go or don't go to some event.

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    • 27d

      Yeah my Mom would sometimes say why don't you go to church and find a nice girl when she knows I'm not religious. I mean personally I don't care if someone believes in God as long as they don't shove their views down my throat but I wouldn't go to church for that, especially when I have no intention of converting.

What Guys Said 15

  • 22d

    The problem you have is nobody can be honest anymore. We don't want to cause a scene so we hide the truth instead of being honest and helping other person. If nobody ever tells you the reason why they are really breaking up, how can you change and adapt?

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    • 22d

      Exactly. We don't know how to improve ourselves if no one tells us what's causing us to struggle. It's like when I had this teacher who didn't teach and I asked him how I can improve my grade and all he said was you just need to do better. *rolls eyes*

  • 23d

    Not caring about a woman's looks at all is an art many normal men want to master. Women who are not good looking tend to make the best partners. The bad thing is that guys might be tempted to turn off the lights while doing something intimate with her.

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    • 23d

      While looks aren't everything, they still matter to an extent. They gotta be somewhat physically attractive.

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    • 23d

      I mean the girl doesn't have to be knockout beautiful but physically attractive to an extent. There have been times where I've hooked up with girls I didn't find physically attractive, not even a single bit, just because I knew they'd be interested and it was awkward because I couldn't even get it up and they notice that and get offended by it.

    • 23d

      There were enough times where I was criticized for being "too picky" with woman's looks. I mean none of the girls I was interested in were knockouts, but they were pretty good looking. I was also reminded that it's not I am a prize to be won. Thus, I don't deserve to be picky with a woman's looks.

  • 26d

    The BEST way to avoid hearing these things, when asked about being single:

    Friend: 'Got a girlfriend, yet?'

    Me: 'No. I am overqualified'.

    Trust me, it works. It gives them nothing to comment on, as they are expecting you to say something else xD

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  • 27d

    I for one haven't heard this for the last 2 years.

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    • 26d

      I mean not everybody says this, but I've heard it from some people.

    • 26d

      Yes of course. I don't deny this isn't true.

  • 27d

    i can add this was from the wife of one of my friends. "you're quite good looking why don't you have a girlfriend?"

    work limits opportunities and i'm not interested in casual, ONS, so meeting someone can take more time.

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    • 26d

      Yeah I've been told I'm very cute, handsome, hot as well as being funny but nothing ever seemed to work out long term or if they did want something long term, I wasn't into them and wasn't gonna settle. With the ones I did like, it makes me wonder if there's something about my personality or something I said that turned them off that I don't know about or realize.

      Yeah work most definitely can get in the way of meeting someone. Do you work long hours?
      I'm not opposed to casual flings or ONS. I take what I can get but it can be tiring when that's ALL you're getting. It's like only having a bunch of acquaintences and no best friends that you can rely on.

    • 26d

      its more of work gets in the way at times, and i commute into London or a couple of our other offices so with travel it will often be a 12 hour day so the last thing i want to do when i get home is go back out again, so weekends are important for catching up with friends or family.

  • 27d

    I am not even looking for something serious, I'd take just about anything but I have given up on that idea and realized that I will never have even a kiss in my life. But overall - good take

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    • 27d

      Keep your chin up. You're only 19. Not to contradict myself but I didn't start having luck till I was 21 and I used to feel the same way.

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    • 26d

      But how could you not? Imagine if everybody you know (like 1000-2000 people) had an expensive car and buy a new car every often while you dont have even a bike and you know you never will.

  • 27d

    I think iv avoided all this as I've always been or at least acted nonchalant about it though it's not that i don't care I really do I just always had other things i was focused on worrying about more grades, job a rugby match when i played something to set up something i wanted to watch or was interested in always something so it was never the focus plus i scored a few times in bars so my ego wasn't as worried about it. I was still a bit worried as i was thinking they don't particularly like me as a person they think i'm to quiet or something but some women liked my body so I've got half the equation.
    But a lot of it's the setting your in I think if everythings close to you it's easy to meet women even if the ones i knew only seemed to see me as a friend.

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    • 26d

      Yeah setting makes a huge difference. I live in the suburbs outside a big city and it's hard to meet women where I'm at except for bars but those aren't the best places to meet women.

      Even with dating sites, the amount of people on dating sites out here is very limited and a good amount of them don't really pique my interest. A lot of them are either single moms, obese, or people who I have nothing in common with. There's a lot of women on the sites that are like oh I like sports, country music, exercising, outdoors, etc. Very cookie cutter.

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    • 26d

      Yeah I got friends and some female friends but none of them have many female friends. If they do they're either taken or someone I'm not interested in. I've been using online dating for a long time but I don't want that to be my only source.

    • 26d

      Most of them actually have GFs in fact only one other guy doesn't but there mostly in the town so much more connected to everything.
      While i have a 30 min drive just if i want to go to the gym which is why i stopped going after a few mounths it just wasn't practical. they see signs for things advertised they know about events that are hard to find online basicly location makes a massive difference its infinitely easyer if your close to everything.

  • 27d

    well most men have to pretend they are someone else to get a woman. one of the main reasons i'll never seduce one is exactly that. i'll change for NOONE. and i'm already conscious enough to know most women wouldn't put up with my true character. not that i'm bad just not what they look for.

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    • 27d

      Well I've been able to attract women initially, but not in the long term. Only ones who wanted to stick around were ones I wasn't attracted to or they super clingy, insecure, and controlling. Wasn't gonna put up with that.

    • 27d

      true. some that can put up with me, i can't put up with them... .

    • 27d

      I mean you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone you aren't.

  • 27d

    You know what they want to with me at internship.
    It's my last day so they want to stop and call/honk at every girl who they think it looks perfect for me. Most of them arleady past the 40s and i'm 19. It's fucking annoying. I always hear this.
    You know what i want to hear about this: NOTHING!!
    Being single is hard especially now.

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    • 27d

      Yeah that's messed up. It's like if you want to date or have sex someone, it's because YOU want to not because others expect you to.

      And yeah dating and being single is very tough. Aziz Ansari made a good bit about that in one of his stand up specials last year.

    • 27d

      someone who understands.

  • 27d

    Agreed, it's annoying as fuck sometimes. Told them already that I choose to be single for life, no partner, and no children. Because what is the point of it all really? It only matters if we think or want it to matter and if we don't give a fuck anymore and don't have the will nor desire to care then it's all over! Besides, it's significantly harder if you been single chronically for something like 30 years or more, and when you don't want to ever have children or be someone's parent, as most people that got together as a couple do want a family together with children of their own.

    I changed my priorities. Focus on career and money, because without it, I'll be starving and can't possibly have any way to support myself and survive.

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    • 27d

      More power to you. While I'm still putting myself on the market, I learned it's best to never make dating or finding a relationship a priority. You get more disappointed if things don't work out and it can get in the way of your happiness, even if you have other great things going for you.

      Not to sound pessimistic but more realistic. If you choose to be single and that's what you like, all power to you. If you are looking, go in with the right approach.

    • 27d

      As I said, there really isn't much point anymore for me. I know I do not want to be someone's parent, and I know that the majority that end up in long term committed relationships have the goal of having a family of their own, with a wedding ceremony and everything.

      In general, I am more pessimistic, even nihilistic about this reality for how it is from my own perspective. But I choose to live, and survive and endure for as long as I possibly can, until my time is up.

  • 27d

    You wrote it like a mature person. Good.

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    • 27d

      Thanks. Another thing I'd like to add is quality > quantity. I've had people say oh you must have it really good with getting all these dates and occasional hookups. Like I said, better than nothing but you can still feel empty/lonely if they don't go anywhere. Not that I'm desperate for one. I mean I know who I'm into and not into, but the worst times is when you truly feel a connection to someone and they seem interested when you're with them only for them to flake/ghost on you. It's more common these days, but still frustrating.

    • 27d

      Exactly. I know where you are coming from.

  • 27d

    "You'll find somebody."

    *looks again*

    "You'll find somebody."
    "You'll find somebody."
    "You'll find somebody."

    Uuuughhhhhh >_<*
    NO!!!
    We won't or else we would already have.

    There are simply way too many people, who are not relationship material.

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    • 27d

      Yep. No point in dating someone just for the sake of dating.

      It's worse when you feel that you found someone, only for it to end terribly, and then start the process all over again and constantly have to weed out people you're not compatible with or you feel like you're interviewing them.

  • 27d

    Great Take, I know what you mean :(

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    • 27d

      Yep. I also think society and people should quit giving people the idea that you must always be dating someone/sleeping with someone to be normal. That causes neediness and makes people, not all, feel unfulfilled if they're not with someone. Not a healthy way to look at life.

    • 27d

      I agree completely.

  • 27d

    I understand your take completely - I usually go for the completely enigmatic expression that makes no sense "You never know what is going to happen next?" - In all honesty and I say this for every situation in life, play it by ear and pick a response that you think is most constructive for that person.

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    • 27d

      Yeah exactly. No one can necessarily predict these things.

    • 27d

      Not just in dating but in many life situations as you mentioned.

  • 27d

    Yup. Then there's the "how are you single?"

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    • 27d

      That too.

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    • 27d

      Good deal

    • 27d

      @supernerd99 dry spells happen

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