5 Reasons Why Dating Apps Like Tinder and Bumble Are Ruining Our Chances at Finding Love

[2Shy2speak]

No one and I mean no one knows how to talk to people anymore! Ironic considering my username: 2shy2speak isn't so 2shy2type. These dating apps are infiltrating 21st century love culture. Compare it to food if you must; momma's good ole meat loaf to fast food five guys burgers!!! I don't know about you but I would kill for my mom's cooking. Yes fast food is good but was it made with the same effort?

Here are my top 5 reasons why we should do away with the dating apps:

1. The dates won't take you seriously.

You meet a great guy on the app, he's stunning, witty, knows how to show you a great night, and has a job! You carry on texting him/her and they're hot and ready to invite you over. You'll never gain anything serious from them. The response you'll get is "I met you off the internet and wasn't expecting anything serious from this."

2. A quick way for many to get laid.

You'll meet many strange people that won't even have the courtesy to ask you out on a date! They'll jump the gun and start making sex plans.

3. CATFISH

This happened to a friend of mine while she was studying abroad in France! While Her story is extreme, you can refer yourself to catfish episodes for more stories. A student at the university in France decide to help the professor catch a young hot date one Tinder! He did all the messaging but then when they were set for a date, he informed her that his professor would show up instead.

4. Age and dating has always been a problem.

Think back to when you used to sneak into the club. Yeah, a lot of these apps use cheap methods to verify age. Make sure the person you meet on these apps is of age. I always ask for drivers licences even if they're old. I want to know this person well enough to be sipping Bordeaux with them.

5. No real courting period.

Do I have to explain this one? Go ask your parents how they met. The small quirky things that went on and so much more! You won't really get much of this out of the app.

I guess will have to tell all our kids we met off of these apps!

[Anonymous]

The issue isn't tinder it's this:

1. Women aren't rewarding men for taking them on date/treating them like human beings. Instead they are rewarding other men with sex, men who escalate things quickly to sex and tend to treat them like sex dolls. In addition, women fall in love with men they fuck very often more so than men (dat der emotional bond) and more often than not want a relationship with said male. Hence we see so many women preach "all men want is sex"

2. Women don't take dating seriously themselves. They think all men are fuckboys because those are the guys they keep going for (see 1.). They then think some of the things fuckboys do such as make her wait days/hours for text, talking to other girls behind her back, cheating on her, and messaging other niggas and/or sleeping with them while simultaneously dating her are all normal activities that most guys do. So a lot of women do these same things towards normal guys who actually want a relationship/girl to love them.

3. Men talk. Men are aware of what is going on and the raw deal some of them are getting where girls basically put you on a shelf to stew while she is off fucking other men and then give you a chance when she needs you. This doesn't sit well. No guy wants to be a cuck chasing a girl, romancing her while Chad swoops into the inter rim and smashes her as you build rapport with her. So men are basically saying why am i going on all these dates and spending 3 month+ on a girl who most likely fucked another guy within 1st week of meeting him.

4. Women do not adhere to gender roles but yet expect men to. They don't act like ladies yet expect to be courted and treated like ladies. In addition, many woman these days actually shriek at you for being chivalrous such as holding the door for them.

5. Women do not make an effort in dating. They expect men to do everything from asking out, planning dates, inviting them, entertaining them and they only ever seem to have redeeming quality of providing sex these days. Why would a guy go through all this for months if he can find another girl willing to put out as faster?

[Prof_Don]

Point number 4 you made, is a point that needs to be mentioned more often! There are plenty of girls out there, that don't act like proper, mannerable ladies... yet want to be courted like one.

[raychulj]

I actually agree with you on all five points. I've been guilty of them myself in the passed. But maturity and learning self respect helped me see how much I was short changing myself by not seeking out the courtship. 27 year old me wishes she could reach back in time and smack the shit out of 19 year old me. The majority of women who you described here aren't women at all, they are broken, insecure little girls who need to learn to be women. Unfortunately it has become socially acceptable to never stop being that person.

[bloodmountain1990]

#3 is a very valid point. Not all women or guys do this, but there was a girl I was seeing a few months ago that I had an amazing first date with. We had so much in common and I saw potential then it was weird. For 3 weeks straight, we'd talk every other day whether it be through text or social media and when I'd ask her out, only once a week by the way, she'd say maybe, she's busy, etc only to cancel and never reschedule.

Then I started looking for other women, then she's all over me and asks me out. The last time I saw her was fucked up and showed her true colors. She invites me over spur of the moment, get drinks and then when right before we had sex at the end, there was a condom wrapper from someone else just laying in her bed. She then ditched me afterwards like it was my fault I saw it, when she invited me to her place and into her bedroom.

[Prof_Don]

@bloodmountain1990 Oh wow, that girl was so immature and broken! Shows you first hand that not all of these girls are perfect angels.

[bloodmountain1990]

@Prof_Don well no one is perfect really. But yeah on top of that, she blocked me from all social media. I was just disappointed because for someone that's a grad student and seemed open minded, I was very disappointed.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Met the love of my life onTinder, almost a year strong <3

1. My boyfriend absolutely took me seriously. Just like I took him seriously. Just cause you are on a dating app doesn't mean you aren't looking for serious things or that people on there aren't. Many people are. Some do want hook ups but you can quite easily weed them out from the start in my opinion.

2. If you don't want to hook up, no one is forcing anyone. Just say no and unmatch or unfriend like I did whenever I encountered horny guys :)

3. If you are smart you SHOULD be able to weed out catfishes. Ask for their social media, call over the phone, video chat etc etc

4. I've been on dating apps for a very long time prior to my boyfriend and I've never had a guy lie to me about his age. Once again, social media is an advantage and you should be able to verify things quite fast.

5. Me and my boyfriend very much had a courting phase. We "dated" exclusively for about 3 months before making it official. Even though I knew from the start we were pretty much together he was very set on "courting" me still and to woo me over.

Tinder changed my life and I couldn't be more grateful. I met the greatest guy ever on it and I wouldn't have met him in another way as I don't have a strong social life due to circumstances.

It is what you make of it :)

[CHRIS11796]

It sucks I'll stick to meeting in person rather than a stupid website.

[XRabbitHeartX]

@CHRIS11796 Tried that for many many years, including 3 years at uni where you are supposed to meet many decent guys... didn't work out. Joined Tinder and am now in a dream relationship. Much better than being single and not having a loved one thank you very much:)

[CHRIS11796]

Whatever worked for you I'll stick to meeting in person.

[Righttobeararms83]

I gave up on Internet dating. Its kind of like too much like on cable where you can flick through stations forever and never settle on anything, then there's the sending a message request to a girl you might like but she doesn't want to know or a girl that likes you but you find her unattractive. You could spend weeks and weeks on internet dating without a result but then get maybe five or six dates at once. On the dates I got off the internet I found them very cold and boring. They say something like 50% of all married couples theses days met on the Internet (figure may be made up by dating agencies) but with the divorce rate at what it is I wonder if dating websites are the best way to go.
I think you missed the photoshoping and cropping that many especially women do on dating websites.
Long story short I ended up deleting my dating profiles and hitting the bars, clubs and everywhere else women gather which gave me much better results. I met my current wife at church meetings after a good friend advised me that it was the best place to find good women.

[Idonthaveausername]

That's a valid point that I bring up all the time. If 50% of marriages start online, but 50% of marriages also end in divorce, then what percentage of online marriages end in divorce and is it greater or lesser than the average?

[front2back]

Part of my problem with Tinder:
(1.) The women on there are flaky AS F**K. They'll tell you about how awesome you are, want a date, etc. and then just never reply. Or they say they won't message first (because they're unconfident) and when you message them they never reply.
(2.) The quality of women on there isn't that great. By quality, I'm not really referring to looks as I am mostly personality and life habits. I met a girl on there and on the first date all she talked about was how she likes to get drunk but hates how she's almost blacked out and been raped before. Like what the Hell.
(3.) Tying with point number (1), either the women on there want only hookups (even though every profile says "God First, No hookups, take me on an adventure", or they want approval for their looks, or they're like my ex and wanted to wait until marriage. You can't win.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah I've had some women that I'll match with where they'll message me first or say they wanna meet up right away and text, swap social media contact info, and then flake out of the blue. How do you explain that shit?

[Kit_Kat88]

@bloodmountain1990 They get second thoughts and decide they're not that attracted to you, or they're insecure catfishes lol.

[Smmyskittles]

1, 2, and 5 have to disagree with.

My friend and her boyfriend met via Tinder (she is still a virgin) a year ago, this month.

They're still dating and going strong.

Another one of my friends met her (current) boyfriend via Tinder. It's a new relationship.

- So, it depends on the individuals. Yes, most are just looking for a hookup. However, if you take your time and are patient (which, as an adult, you should be able to do), you can find a relationship. :]

* All in all, nice Take.

[BrighteyedAsh]

Mmmm... they are what they are... an outlet to meet new people... what happens past that depends on the people involved.

I met mine at a party that involved alcohol and a lot of dick and fart jokes. We frequently joke about what we'll tell our future kids and grandkids since we (accidentally) started pretty casually and ended up falling in love. We went out as friends once... then on a date... he asked to kiss me and we basically exploded into raw sexual energy. We decided to keep it casual because neither of us felt we had it in us to worry about building a relationship... and well... that didn't work out like that one bit. He did however court me very well and still does even now. He takes pride in showing me new places and discovering new places together. The point being... in my opinion it really doesn't matter how you meet... only THAT you meet. The rest?

[bloodmountain1990]

Cat fishing happens more in the sense that people use misleading pics to get dates as opposed to pretending to be another person altogether.

I would say the biggest issue with online dating is there's more competition and it gives the shopper's mentality.

You could have a good date with someone yet look for the next best thing or you could find someone you really like only for them to find the next best thing and disappear out of the blue.

It comes with the territory and people are free to date who they want but it can be overwhelming and confusing.

[bloodmountain1990]

@2Shy2speak speaking of Tinder, mine's been having issues today. Like I got messages and I've tried logging into multiple times but it won't let me get past the log in. Is it going through maintenance?

[Anonymous]

Its easy to be someone you are not online. To hide real motives. Its easy to come up with any answer to questions when its not face to face. No body language there. People take advantage of it to get whatever it is they want. Mind games are played for ego boost, attention seeking etc. and when they get what they want its so easy to drop the person, block them and act like it never happened. Its a fantasy to think you'll find true love online. It could be possible but its like looking for a needle in a haystack.

[Fathoms77]

Well, this is all true, of course, but aren't these apps basically for hookups, anyway? I mean, people looking for real, meaningful relationships don't typically use them, right? That's what Match and eHarmony are for, I assume.

[Puppylove94]

Nah I know people who used match and he said it was way worse than bumble.

[Fathoms77]

@Puppylove94 Then he wasn't using it right. Or at least, not the way most use it, in my experience. I think you at least have the option of searching for people who want relationships on Match; I doubt you can find such individuals easily on apps like Tinder and Bumble.

[Puppylove94]

I've been in relationships from tinder and bumble lol

[pavlove]

odd enough, I've found i have more "chemistry" when i match with girls i meet on trips. I actually think the carefree mindset is good for dating. it's the fact that almost everyone on tinder and bumble have agendas whether that to be laid, to distract themselves, to get an ego boost, to relieve boredom. you should just go on it to see what you see and see how you flow with other people on it

[Anonymous]

Yeah, so I don't think anyone says "we met on the internet therefore it can't be serious," especially given how common it is now. BUT what the internet DOES do is it makes it easier to get in to all kinds of arrangements OTHER THAN but also INCLUDING a serious, traditional relationship. The key is knowing EXACTLY what you want (easier said than done) and working out what the other person REALLY wants (also easier said than done). But those problems were always there. What's changed now, is you have a LOT more options.

[thetundrawolf]

100 percent correct. You will NEVER find true love by hooking up. True love takes work, sacrifice, pain and difficulty, not opening an app and getting laid.

[Paris13]

Many Toms Today don't Want a Real Relationship and Yes... Just to get Laid.
I have Always lucked Out though from the Start. Joe Knows from the Start, Right from my own Heart, Go to Bed with another, I'm Not like Any... Other.
Today's Girl, On Gag or Off, Online or Not on a Dating Site, Play hard to Get and be this Juicy Apple way up High on that Fruit Tree with Thee.
*Great job Done, hun. xx

[yellowmamba024]

I agree with all points. I am sure most guys DO NOT want to use online dating. However, women have made dating way too difficult and not worth the effort these days. Guys are tired of rejection and being used and see the bad boys steal their crushes. So good guys resort to online dating in hopes to fantasize about the women behind the screen, who they will never meet or have a chance with in real life.

[meatballs21]

1. Not true. Not everyone uses them to hook up.

2. That is also true of other types of dating. Hell, the "women seeking men" ads in newspapers going back decades were the same thing.

3. This does not happen that often.

4. No wonder people aren't taking you seriously if you're demanding to see ID during a date!

5. What? You exchange enough messages to want to meet, quirky moment 1. Then you go on a real actual date and build a relationship from there, quirky moment 2.

[zagor]

People do still meet in real life. Just not as much, because they are so busy playing with their phone they don't notice people around them.

[TheInvisibleMan]

I think its one of the ways people satisfy their desires. Because many people want to meet more people of the opposite sex. But unless you are still in school, chances are you won't have that many girls/guys around you. Also probably some people can't get a date in person so they try to do it online. Thats the reason why I decided to go and pay a prostitute. I realized its the only way for me. Same for some people here too. Maybe for some of them internet is the only way

[lacorine197]

No one knows how to talk to people anymore? I disagree, it just depends what people's interests are, and interests in the moment, people see a topic that they want to prove a point in , they go, a topic that they want to prove something in period, whether if it's by proving themselves, the world, or anyone.

[JohnDoe3000]

This was so clearly written from a female perspective, guys' problems can be summed up in one point: not getting matches in the first place 😂

[Prof_Don]

Yup, most guys rarely get matches that aren't bots. So when I hear women complain about having bad dates, most of the guys are like "at least you're getting dates! #FirstWorldProblem "

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Those apps are meant for people who want to use it for various reasons. Too busy to court or just want to get laid. If you don't like it then don't use it but don't condemn it because you don't want to use it. Live and let live.

[Puppylove94]

I agree a lot of people are looking for hook ups but all of the guys I've met have been very interested in relationships. You just have to be picky and get to know them a bit before you meet up.

[red324]

I've had better luck on Tinder than any dating site. Maybe it's because it takes no effort and I don't have to write out a ton of messages? I don't know. I can sit and swipe when I'm bored.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

Its still much easier for women to get responses.

Also I've never used Tinder but its common knowlege that people use it looking for hookups usually.

If you want a loving relationship and a gentleman try something else...