A few years ago, I was dating Nick. My boyfriend at the time of 3 years. He was somewhat of an extremist in terms of how he thought relationships should go. He liked to be free and do what he wants, and I was ok with that- because I thought “freedom” meant trust. Little did I know that his values certainly did not match mine.
On Valentine’s day Nick got down on 1 knee and proposed with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen to this day. I cried and screamed “yes”. Things were going well between us, we rarely fought, we enjoyed going on vacations together and people would often comment on how cute we looked together.
8 months later, it was my 22nd birthday! Nick had planned a surprise birthday party at my favorite Italian restaurant. I was dolled up, and the plan was that I would have a fun sleep over at my sister’s place with all my girlfriends, so we could be hammered and go for a fun brunch the next day. The evening was incredible, and Nick left the restaurant early as he claimed he was tired. He gave me a kiss good night and said, “Love you. I’ll see you tomorrow”.
Call it women’s intuition or maybe something in the air, but I had a gut feeling all of a sudden. One hour had gone by, and I was dancing with my friends, but I couldn’t quite enjoy it. I pulled my sister aside and told her, “can you take me home for a few minutes, I want to see Nick”. My sister knew me well enough to know that something was off. She didn’t say much as we got into her car and she drove.
I asked her to park a block from our (Nick’s and I) place. Like the idiot I was, my sister and I walked in our heels down the street to my home. I saw a red Toyota parked in the driveway, and I could feel my heart sink. My sister looked at me, with confusion in her eyes. I said “shh”, as I slowly turned the key in the door. The door opened into the living room, and I didn’t even need to walk far- I saw a pretty blonde in a thong standing by the stair case, shocked and scared.
Nick walked out of our bedroom in boxers with his arms crossed. My sister started screaming profanities at him, calling him every possible nasty name she could think of. I stood there trying to hold back the tears. Nick had a cold, blank look on his face, and then he spoke. “Yeah, so let’s get to the point here, as I know what’s coming next- we are done and I’m moving out tomorrow”. My sister grabbed my arm and pulled me outside, “I don’t even wanna hear this trash talk”.
I stayed at my sister’s place, as I was crying all night. I wanted to disappear and I wanted to make all this pain go away. I died inside; I didn’t care what was gonna happen to me. My sister went by my home the next day, and told me that Nick had moved his things out of our home. He even took the TV (that we both purchased), the fancy painting that he claimed to have bought for me as a gift, and that was it- I haven’t heard from him again.
When I say, I haven’t heard from him again- I mean it. He blocked me on all social media sites; he never even bothered to make an effort to apologize or try to get back together. 2 months in, my sister’s boyfriend took a screenshot of Nick’s Facebook profile picture. It was a selfie of Nick and the blonde.
It took me a long time to recover from what happened. I guess the biggest thing that hurt me is how after 3 years someone could be so emotionless and just end things without looking back. I didn’t get the closure I needed, but this certainly opened my eyes. I should have recognized that Nick took advantage of his freedom. All those evenings when he was “hanging out with the boys”- it was an illusion for me. I still wonder why he proposed… but how lucky I am that I didn’t have children with the man that I thought I knew.
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