Leagues Exist Whether You Like it or Not...But Here is Some Advice

Leagues exist whether you like it or not but here is some advice

What are leagues?

It’s a class of people who you are (statistically) expected to date. Leagues class people based on the value of their physical attractiveness, education, wealth, and status. Leagues are social constructs but that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. Most of the time people date someone who is within their league, so that means that there is a low chance of dating someone who has way more value than you do. Just because something is a social construct, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist and doesn’t play a huge role in reality. So many social constructs dictate our reality.

What does "out of my league" mean?

It either means you have way more mating value than them or you have way less mating value than them. It’s either a good thing or a bad thing when you say that someone is out of your league. If you say that someone is out of your league, that statement itself logically implies that you are out of their league as well.

But because most attractive people don’t want to sound like condescending assholes, they won’t go around saying that somebody is out of their league to mean that they are too good for that person. I think the meaning of that statement can depend on where you live because, where I live, people mean it as a bad thing and that’s because I live in a city where people are mean to each other. I remember one of my family friends going through the yearbook and her brother told her that the guys on the baseball team like her. She looked at the team picture and dramatically said “Ew out of my league!” That was a funny moment to be honest. It was obvious from the tone of her voice that she definitely meant that she is way too good for them. I have heard many of my friends saying that a few girls are "out of their league" because they believed that they are too good for the girls and don’t want to have anything to do with those girls.

How do leagues work?

Most people desire to be with someone who is just as good (or almost just as good) as they are and/or someone who is better. Barely anyone desires to date someone who has way less, overall value than they do. That’s how insecurities occur. Most average looking people (five out of ten people) don’t want to date a conventionally unattractive person who is a zero out of ten. Celebrities tend to go out with someone who is within their league (looks, wealth, and/or status), which is why typical people barely have a chance with celebrities. Sometimes one person has a lot of mating value in looks and the other partner has the same amount of mating value in wealth. So it cancels out and compensations for mating values can occur, but it’s not that common in real life.

Advice

Understand where you stand in the rating system. You are likely to have a successful relationship with someone around your attractiveness (3 points below to 3 points above).

Understand where the person you like stands in the rating system. Don’t over rate or under rate. Make

a best guess on what their average rating would be. If the person is way more attractive than you, don’t keep your hopes too high because they are more likely to reject you and find someone better.

Sorry that’s just reality and people aren’t always going to be fair to you. If that person obviously doesn’t want you, please don’t be persistent and annoying.

If you believe you are dating (or about to date) someone who has way more value than you, don’t be insecure when you are with them and always be positive/optimistic. Figure out if you are compatible with them, keep them and don’t take them for granted if you are compatible with them.

If you believe you are dating (or about to date) someone who has way less value than you and you believe you deserve better, don’t waste your time with them. Never lower standards because you are most likely not going to be happy with the results. Don’t be ashamed of desiring someone better. Your happiness is more important than someone else’s happiness.

If you have high standards, you don’t have to lower them if you don’t want to. But remember that it’s very unlikely of you to be with someone who has way more mating value than you. Don’t complain and become bitter, and then turn mgtow or wgtow who hates the opposite sex just because you can’t get want you want. Either say alone forever, lower your standards, or keep trying harder.

Sincerely,

the brutally blunt honest, ten out of ten guy who is just trying to give truthful and helpful advice.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • People who deny leagues are silly. Yes people can date others who are "out of their league", either by having lower or higher standards, but that *is* pretty rare. Usually people are the most drawn to those who are in the same league as them (or a tad higher) simply because they're realistic. Just because you might see the odd case of someone dating someone else who's out of their league, it doesn't mean leagues don't exist. It just means that not everyone abides by the "rules" of leagues, or that their partner has x-quality that they value over y-quality, whereas most people value y-quality over x-quality.
    It's not something that should be taken super seriously obviously but it's definitely worth keeping in mind when looking someone you're compatible with.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I like this take: it's honest and realistic.

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Join the discussion

What Girls Said 10

  • This is a must-read for the people who are tired of being friendzoned. Great myTake!

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  • "Sincerely,
    the brutally blunt honest, ten out of ten guy who is just trying to give truthful and helpful advice."

    While this does give some pretty bitter truth, at least in my opinion, I think that this was a little unnecessary and actually lowered the prospect of objective validity of the myTake lmao.

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  • Yeah I agree, but I don't agree that leagues always mean on the basis of attractiveness.

    To me, my league always meant my level of intelligence, nerddom, ambition and character.

    My ex was less attractive than me, my boyfriend is more attractive than me. But they are both highly intelligent nerds and both are extremely hard-working too.

    So I guess league also kinda depends on what YOU mean by your league. But yeah leagues exist.

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  • It's really good, I totally agree with you 😊😊 great mytake

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  • no serious leagues in my high school.
    of course there were some popular groups but they weren't assholes beating each other up in the hallways and shit

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  • How about ugly rich fat old guys who get hot sugar babies regularly

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    • He said "mating value", not just looks xD

    • Show All
    • They still have a high sexual market value money> everything

    • 6d

      Rich guys are rare. Ugly rich guys are more rare like less than one percent of the population. Those relationships rarely last long because the girl only wanted him for his money.

  • 7d

    around here celebrities marry commoners all the time

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  • 2d

    thanks for being honest

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  • 6d

    leagues do exist but how u know what league ur in

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  • "The brutally blunt honest, ten out of ten guy"

    Pics or it didn't happen

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What Guys Said 17

  • 6d

    Leagues absolutely exist.

    Having said that, while looks (especially for a woman's rating) are definitely important, they are not the only important thing.

    The obvious example is that a very wealthy guy can look like a troll, and he'll still have attractive women who will want to be around him. Sure, they're obviously doing it for the money, but if he can afford her, then why does he really care? LOL.

    But there are also examples such as a guy whose raw looks would be highly rated (8 or 9), but he's awkward or shy or introverted, and that is going to adjust his overall score with women down significantly. On the other hand, you may have a very average-looking guy - nothing special at all - but he's super charming and super confident and outgoing, and women may rate him an 8 or 9, despite his raw looks being only a 5 or 6.

    And going the other way, you may have a very attractive woman (say an 8) who normally could easily pull guys who were 7's or 8's, and even 9's, and so should never NEED to go lower than a 7, but she's super insecure, or she's easily and constantly offended, or she's just a bitch - and she may well end up with a 5 or 6 because 7's and 8's - who do find her physically attractive - can't stand to be around her. And you might have a girl who is a 4 or 5 in looks but can get a guy who is a 7 because she's cool as hell, fun to be around, loves sex, and treats him well.

    It's the "OVERALL" score that matters, not just the appearance score - but let's not pretend the appearance score is unimportant, because it IS important, and scoring high in appearance gives you some leeway in other areas. No, it's not fair, but no one said life was fair.

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  • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-aha(d).gif

    Leagues exist but people need to remember that they are not statically fixed. One person you think is out of your league might think you are within their league.

    The moment you think to yourself "Yeah, I can do better" is indirectly saying you are above the league of the person you are saying you can do better than.

    I like how you talked about "mating value" because looks aren't the only things which add to your SMV (sexual market value) as a guy. Status, wealth, height, race and power all add to it. Women's SMV is pretty much based on their looks but status and wealth also plays a weak factor as well.

    Obviously you can increase your SMV but the general rule of thumb is that the girls a guy can consistently attract shows at least where his SMV is.

    For a girl, it's not who she can attract as hot guys fuck average and ugly chicks all the time, it's who she can get to commit to her. If she is getting pumped and dumped by hot guys, it's because the hot guys don't deem her worthy to commit to.

    Just adding my two cents.

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  • Leagues exist. Women can date 3 points above their league. Men must often date a couple points below their league. HYPERGAMY.

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  • I will be honest i agree with everything you said, i have been rated before a 8/10 but judging from the amount and quality of compliments i get from girls I might be even more than an 8 , who knows.

    yet even then i still feel that some girls (Few) are out of my league because they are much richer and have a amazing looks that no other girls can match, of course these same girls often seem to have an interest in me but iam poor lol and can't help but feel insecure sometimes.

    with that being said i turned down so many girls for the sole purpose of not liking their looks enough, i know it sounds shallow but she has to be on par with me physically or else it won't work between us.

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  • 4d

    Appearance matters but I think what it really boils down to is are you a match. I've dated a lot of women from knockout gorgeous to not so good looking and there have been times where a girl has been cute but was super boring and we just didn't click.

    I'm more inclined to go for a cute girl into metal and horror than a hot girl that's into country music and things I'm not into.

    As cliche as it is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What's attractive to one person may not be to another.

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  • Mostly BS, with some ties to reality.

    The way you use "league" implies that there is some kind of definition as to who is in what league. The truth is, while there are some people almost everyone would agree are attractive or unattractive, for the majority it is a matter of personal opinion, and for the beholder that varies as they move through life, or even their day.

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  • 7d

    Attractiveness if far more than just looks. Personality, social skills, confidence, intelligence, success/money/status all can make a person that's a 7 in looks a 9 in attractiveness...

    If you're a 5, a relationship with a 8/9 will be more difficult and less likely to succeed than one with a 4, 5, 6...

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  • I don't think they exist, how about those guys who get 9/10 girls every single day, and it's all because their confidence level is too high, and they know what to say. But if you don't have much confidence then yeah, you would need looks to balance it out.

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    • these girls aren't quality to begin with, they may have the looks but lack everything else and usually are slutty as well so they settle for a guy with average looks cause they know a true decent guy is out of their league

  • 3d

    Well if they do I've never had a issue with them or never encountered them.

    Also your claiming to be a 10/10 pics or it didn't happen.

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  • TL;DR

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  • not sure about it I saw ugly guys with hot chicks and not so much hot chicks with good looking guys

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    • Takes like this just reinforces shallowness in others.

    • And I see ugly chicks (usually overweight) with good-looking guys all the time. It's not all about looks though: those guys are often bumming off those chicks, just as in the reverse case so when you look at the total mating value they're sort of within each other's league.

  • 3d

    Hell yes there are leagues. I'm half white but I look like a tan Spaniard from Europe. I was the darkest kid in the all white school I went to. Talking about bad luck with girls. Then I get to college and hispanic girls are all over me. WTF.

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  • 1d

    How do I know what "league" I'm in?

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  • "Your happiness is more important than someone else’s happiness"
    Aside for this sentence which I cannot agree with, I think you are totally right.

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  • I love the attempt to be brutally honest but I think that the biggest flaw with this whole concept of leagues is it's design. This upward pyramid like tier system isn't representative of the world. 1. Beauty standards are more region locked then global. Yes certain traits are valued all over like symmetry but in today's day and age what's seen on tv as attractive or on the internet is more of a reflection of the language you're searching/viewing in. Most countries that speak a European language will have remnants of a Eurocentric beauty standard. But if you look closely at the individuals within that culture their taste vary wildly. 2. There is no true tip. If you were to name the hottest person alive and you were given a database of every fave in the world your choice will most likely differ from your best friends mostly because we're partially self selective. We value people who carry similar traits as us mixed in with cultural beauty standards and glossed with traditional biological indicators of good health. 3. I've noticed that there's a second league that isn't focused on looks, status, or intelligence but rather demeanor. We all have an internal model of how our ideal partner would behave. People often have the same mentality about looks as they do with this. Often seeing someone's behaviors as indicators as someone lower or higher on this perfect demeanor scale. But this scale is even more multidirectional than the physical attractiveness scale. So in my opinion it's not that leagues are wrong or right but that they are far to simplistic to be used reliably or even acknowledged as helpful in any way.

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  • Leagues are real. So are look alikes - The same beautiful face/body in every league on every level. So from a male perspective I don't see what point is being made.

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    • What do you mean that the same face and body in every level and every league is real?

    • @MysteriousDarkness Here in Texas I can find an exact look alike (maybe even 2 or 3 exact look alikes) of a particular individual in the same city. All 3 may be broke as sh! t. One may be broke and the other two maybe "well off" and popular amongst their peers. Or only 1 of them may have it going on/good. But they will all have two things in commonn - Nearly identical looks and absolute beauty. I make my own money so I don't need a rich girl. I only want her for how she looks. That point I'm making is no female is out of my league.

    • If the rich girls are snobbish and boujee then I get their broke look alike.

  • Since when does a random unscientific poll speak for the rest of the world? If I'm a 5, that means I get get someone as low as a 2 or as high as an 8. There's hope for ugly people after all based on this over 3 and 3 thing.

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