Why Hasn't He Called?

How many times have you found yourself asking that question? Every girl has asked at least once. After all, he took your number, talked to you for hours and HE SAID HE WOULD CALL, right?! Well here's why some guys never call...

When you meet a guy for the first time and he lavishes you with attention, what do you honestly think of him? Most women view an overly attentive guy as a "loser" or "desperate" - and men know it! We have more available resources when pursuing a girl than you might think. We have dating sites that offer a wealth of information and that actually train us that "less is more" in the attention department. We are taught that you prefer it when we don't pay too much attention to you. Why? Because it creates more desire and more mystery around us when we appear to ignore you.

When you are left wondering, your interest level sky rockets. Compare Mystery Man to Mr. Speedy Response. You may accept the offer to go out with Mr. Speedy Response but will still have the Mystery Man in the back of your mind.

You go out on a date with Mr. Speedy Response and he seems alright but he calls you every day thereafter. He could be nice or he could be desperate - you have to judge that by his behavior overall.

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When you finally hear from the Mystery Man, you think the suspense is over! But, he doesn't explain why he never called and you know better than to ask. This adds more mystery and prolongs the suspense. When Mystery Man finally takes you out, he does not drool and gush over you prolonging the "Does he like me?" suspense.

If you are used to a guy focusing on you like there is no other woman in his life - or even on the planet - someone who does not fit this pattern will stand out as different.

I'm not saying that it is right for a guy to ignore you but our experience shows that you will actually find him more interesting for that very reason. There are never any absolute truths when it comes to dating but, generally speaking, less is more when it comes to attention and courtship. No matter what women say to us about wanting us to pay attention to them, we know that, deep down, you actually prefer less.

It sounds backwards but ask yourself, "Which guy would you be more attracted to?" and that is usually your answer to why he hasn't called.


What Girls Said 21

  • I never ask myself why a guy isn't doing something.

    if i want to make contact i do. if he's not interested i move on.

    Women only are left thinking of why 'he's' not calling b-c someone told them they shouldn't call.

    its a natural consequence of having no control over a situation. which is invariably how you feel when you can not 'act'. either bc you censor yourself or bc there is external pressure not to act.

    its not innately a female trat its just women tend to be the ons told not to 'do' something. when you are waiting not knowing things. feeling like there's something to figure out gives the illusion of control. minds dont lik to feel helpless, so hen in doubt-- they think.. which is neurotic when the thinking isn't constructive.

    much more logical to just take control and move on if the situation calls for it. i can think of no good reason to be waiting around when you could just call. for EITHR sex. meaning when you get to the point you find yourself feeling like you're 'waiting' you've waited too long. you've become neurotic from inaction... this takes varying times depending on the individual.

    its all a waste of time in my opinion. if you want to know something go find out. if its bad news it doesn't get better by 'waiting'.

  • That actually makes complete sence.

  • He is just not that into you

  • I want something that is honest, simple & straightforward!! Yes the mystery man would be playing on my mind but in the end I'd go for Mr Speedy simply because I know where I stand with him!

  • I agree and I disagree. There has to be a balance. I had a guy who tried way too hard and it was a turn off. He did look desperate. But then a guy that doesn't answer my calls or txts right away makes me think he's not interested. You can still call/txt and not seem desperate. Make them short calls. Say you can only talk for a few minutes.You keep the mystery, but are still letting us know we're on your minds.

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What Guys Said 7


    • Great take. Technology makes things pretty complicated nowadays.*

  • So true! Another odd thing people do is ignore a girl/guy then ask, "why doesn't s/he like me?" Because he or she might have gotten the wrong message!

  • 99% of the time if I haven't called, it's simply because I've lost interest. Either I've gotten distracted by another prospect, or the timing wasn't right (leaving town for business, back with GF, etc.), or I was only moderately interested to begin with.

  • I think what you say is true when I am interested. If not, however, then I will not call you and ignore your calls too. But I may answer or call back once or twice just to be nice or courteous.

  • WHat the hell matter does it make if he ask you first or if she ask him first? Total BS. All these are outdated "dating" games that should be left back in the 20th century. Jesus Christ it makes no difference, go out and ask him if you like him, the most he can say is NO.

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