Dating For Dummies: 5 Easy Tips

Okay, So, maybe this article is not for dummies...

In fact, it's probably just for your average-Joe, the curious, the inexperienced, the experienced that just can't figure it out, or maybe those who just need some advice.

However, I certainly look back on how little I knew when i first started dating, and definitely could have referred to myself as a downright dating-dummy. I have a track record of awkward, unsure, and weird relationships to prove it. But thankfully, I've graduated from that title to "experienced goober-head." And, I learned a lot along the way. Although I don't deny that there is always room for improvement.

5 Simple & Effective Dating Tips

Relationships can be confusing, so I am here to give some simple and effective tips on things to look out for, things to consider, good habits, and signs that a relationship is a keeper or a loser. So, onto the precious info! (my preciousss..)

Tip 1: Speak From the Heart & Not Any Other Body Part...

Now mind you, I am not giving dating advice for hook-ups. If that is what you were hoping for, you can put your weenie caps on, and feel free to continue to use any body part you'd like (so long as its consensual.) However, for trying to find a legitimate partner in crime, or love, or whatever, it is extremely important that you bring your most genuine self forward, and no matter what, be yourself.

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

If you are being someone you aren't, in any aspect, just go ahead and throw the idea of a real relationship out the window, right now.

Building relationships on false pretenses is a set up for disaster. Not only will you attract someone who is unsatisfying to who you truly are, You are being dishonest, and a let down to them. Do not waste either of your time. Whether your a noob at dating, or a veteran on the battlefield of love, you should always be genuine, and always be you.

Tip 2: On a More Obvious Note: Date Someone You Find Attractive!

And I don't mean just typical, society-standards, model, actress, "beautiful." But what I do mean, is date a person who, in your personal opinion, is handsome or beautiful.

The reason I bring this up, is because I've seen couples who seem to get along just fine personality-wise, but it's a nightmare in the bedroom for them, because they just aren't physically attracted to each other.

This type of situation is especially hurtful, if the attraction is one sided. It's detrimental to self-esteem, and is also tends to work like a time bomb that tends to explode later in relationships, rather than sooner. A failed relationship hurts. But a failed relationship that you've truly invested in, hurts that much more.

So it is best to avoid that situation from ever occurring, and you can do so by making sure that before you consider going on a date with someone, you ask yourself, "Do I personally find them attractive?">

If you are in a relationship where you suspect your partner may not be personally attracted to you, you need to bring it up to them. You need, and deserve, to know their honest opinion. If it is solvable, wonderful. If they ask you to change into someone you aren't in order for them to 'feel' attracted to you, immediately revert to Tip 1.

If they put you down for the way you look (or put you down in general), RUN. They are bad news, and I don't care who you are, or what you look like, you don't deserve that. Especially not from someone who is supposed to be a supportive and nurturing force in your life.

Tip 3: You Aren't Just Dating Them, You're Dating Their Everything

So one thing that I certainly did not consider when I first started dating, is that I'd also be dating their sister, their mom, their dad, their cousins, their grandparents, their plans, their goals, their past....okay, you catch my drift. (and obviously I didn't literallydate their parents. Or grandpa. ew.)

But love (in most cases), is not just you and them running off into the sunset in slow motion. It's a lot of sweaty nervous palms, shaking hands at awkward family gatherings, your voice shaking when you say "Hi, nice to meet you, i'm blah blah blah.", and than breathing the biggest sigh of relief ever as soon as their front door closes behind you, as you pat yourself on the back for not having a heart attack during Thanksgiving.

Okay...that might just be me.

But, yeah, there is a lot that goes with dating, beside just 'dating'. So make sure you're prepared for not only another person, but another life, new people, and new circumstances. Relationships often bring new change.

Tip 4: Make Sure You Know What Qualities You Like in Someone

At least know as well as which soap you like, how you like your coffee, or what your favorite TV show is. There are a lot of different people in this world, and with that, comes a lot of different personalities. Make sure before you get into the dating game, you ask yourself what types of people you like, or even simplify it down to "What kinds of things do I enjoy?"

For example, I made a list of things I enjoy:

- Video Games

- Comedy

- Spontaneity

Knowing all of this, it is preferable for me to find a guy who has common interests, a good and similar sense of humor, and someone who is willing to take 3:00 A.M. trips to taco bell with me.

Tip 5: Make Sure You Know You're Being Treated Right

I shouldn't have to explain this one, but apparently I need too, because I've seen more people stay in relationships that are dysfunctional, than there are respectable people in this world.

Everyone deserves to get into a relationship with the mutual unspoken (or spoken of) truth, that they deserve to be respected. This means:

- You are treated with respect

- You are spoken to with respect

- You are listened to with respect

If they can't listen to you, speak to you, or treat you with respect, they've got to go - ESPECIALLY if these things are re-occurring behaviors. That means they act on impulse, and that impulse is hard, if not impossible, to change.

Remember: Staying with them to try to change a 'bad boy' or 'bad girl' into a good-whatever, does not make you noble, it makes you an enabler.

Staying with someone despite their bad behavior, is not helping them; it simply shows them "Hey, i can say/do whatever I want, and I still get laid!"

Okay, maybe not just the 'get laid' part, but it definitely sends them the message that you don't mind them walking all over you, and rather than showing them that their behavior is unbearable, by sticking around, it makes it seem bearable to them. Therefore, they won't see a reason to change.

Don't Be Afraid to Get Help If You Need It

If you are afraid of leaving, or are in danger, there is plenty of help available online, and don't try to leave alone. Domestic violence centers as well as your local police can help.

Thank you all for reading! Hope my advice helped someone!


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What Guys Said 18

  • Good article! Spot on for tip 2...
    There were so many questions about would you date someone you didn't find attractive on here. I've always said no... and people downvote me for that.

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    • By attractive, I meant ANY aspect that makes someone attractive. NOT just physical! But to make sure that when you date someone, you are attracted to them in some way.

      It may seem shallow, but it is important to find someone you feel chemistry with. And again, everyone feels that chemistry differently, and for different people.

  • Simple enough I'll give you that.

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  • Terrible advice. A brother will die with his dick in his hand.

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  • Good read, but what if I suspect she's playing hard to get? If anyone interested to answer my latest question.

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  • Just what in the hell do you think you're doing OP? This is everything there is to dating in less than an essay. You just can't give all the answers to people. People make money on this kind of stuff ;P

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  • I see a lot of people disagreeing with point 2 , I think to start something you should be attracted to the person. Attraction can be through anything - beauty, booty, behavior , smile, personality.
    If you are not attracted, you won't make efforts to continue dating

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  • Tip 2 can be tough to solve for an average guy.

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    • By attractive, I meant ANY aspect that makes someone attractive. NOT just physical! But to make sure that when you date someone, you are attracted to them in some way.

    • Yeah I agree. But I meant having physical attraction is one of the toughest task for an average guy to achieve in a relationship.

  • How can you be yourself when you don't even know who you are? Huh caus I know I don know who I am

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    • Everyone is unique. Be genuine; in other words, speak from the heart.

  • 2 shouldn't be here unless ur a sex God.
    I don't give a FAWK about Her body. All I know is her LUV and nothing else. How many people would be more shallow than it alrdy is now adays.. as long as she have a cookie, nothing should matter but her LUV <333

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    • in Tip 2, By attractive, I meant ANY aspect that makes someone attractive. NOT just physical! But to make sure that when you date someone, you are attracted to them in some way! If there is no chemistry, and there is no attraction between the two individuals, there really is nothing to separate that individual from a friend.

  • "be yourself" well I'm fucked since my personality is boring lol

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    • Lol I love the humor, but everyone is unique! I am sure there aspects about you that make you unique that you may not even consider :)

  • I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean with #1, it seems to say that you should be honest, but why call that speaking from the heart. do you mean that we should be more open about our feelings? this just seems vague, and makes little sense to me, although that may be because I am emotionally stunted.

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    • Yes, it means to be honest, and to speak from the heart. In other words, Be yourself! Many people try to put on a persona when they date. They try to 'be' someone they are not. So my advice was to allow your personality to shine through, show them who you are.

  • Nice info! A tip on overcoming shyness would have been interesting. A lot of people sit on the dating sidelines because they are too shy to date.

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    • I plan on writing a part two :) I'll make sure to include that! I stopped writing as i got too tired to continue lol

  • Nice ideas, though I would have ended an article of this topic on a more positive conclusion than domestic violence.

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    • I agree, i am actually writing a part two, because I realize that i could have touched a lot of other dating advice subjects, and i did end this on quite a downer haha i got too tired and posted this before finishing!

    • Hahah, understandable. Thanks for posting!

  • thanks good article :) and yea no2 is my prob.

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    • By attractive, I meant ANY aspect that makes someone attractive. NOT just physical! But to make sure that when you date someone, you are attracted to them in some way :)

    • Oh ok I thought u meant physical but thanks for clearing that. And yea I will :) and thanks this is a great take best take I have read so far you should write more :)

  • Great article! I wished I could have followed tip 2 better!

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  • @Dweeber Great information, thanks for sharing. For people interested, where/how would you suggest they go about finding someone to date?

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    • Exactly. I spend my days at a company that is 10% female.

  • Good article, thank you for the contributoon

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    • You are welcome. I wrote another one, but I can't post it yet because I don't have a lot of Xper points ;(

    • I'll keep my eye out for the next one too

What Girls Said 4

  • Bravo! This doesn't address every dating issue, but it can't. It's just an essay albeit well written.

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  • my opinion is... if you have relationship, you are lucky. Try to stick with him/her, and make the most out of it. However, being single isn't that bad. I feel like finally I got my own space and feelings that I can control. When I was with my boy friend, everything was chaos. I don't know if I am thinking right or wrong and there are unexpected accidents all over. It's really not good to have relationship if you don't know what you are doing.

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    • I agree that being single is also not bad. If fact, before anyone starts a relationship, i advise people to become comfortable and established for themselves first. Dating means sharing two lives, so it is important that you are an individual and that you don't rely on one another in an unhealthy way. Relationships can be chaos! This is true haha

  • This definitely helps a lot! I'm such a dating amateur lol

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  • Thank you for this helpful article!

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