As a nerd, I'm no stranger to rejection. Not only have I been on the receiving end of it, but in recent years I've also dished plenty of it out. When I was young, there was such a negative stigma associated with being a nerd that no girl would date you. In recent years, however, a lot of girls have found themselves attracted to nerds. Unfortunately, they do not really understand these nerds, and have trouble establishing or maintaining relationships with them as a result. So here's my list of reasons why I believe women have trouble dating nerds.
1. You do not understand "nerd culture" or even try to.
Conversation is important to maintaining a healthy relationship. Having similar interests is usually enough to keep conversation going between two people. However, if you do not have similar interests, you'll soon find it difficult to come up with anything to talk about. A lot of girls might find their nerdy boyfriends to be boring because all they want to talk about is comic books, video games, etc. That actually goes both ways, us nerdy guys find you girls really boring when you know nothing about our hobbies/interests and think Kryptonite is just a song.
2. You hang out with the wrong crowd.
Imagine if your boyfriend's buddies constantly made fun of everything about you. They make fun of your face, your glasses, your boobs, your weight, everything. Well, that's what a lot of nerdy guys put up with. Although it's more socially acceptable to date nerds now, there is still a negative stigma around it that lingers, and so a lot of people still like to poke fun at us nerds. If your friends are hostile toward nerds, how do you expect to maintain or establish a relationship with one?
3. You do not accept their flaws.
It doesn't matter who you date. A millionaire, a jock, a musician, everybody will have their flaws. And it's the same with nerds. Many nerds are not blessed with dashing good looks, charisma, or physical strength. Many of them are too scrawny, too obese, too covered in acne, etc. And aside from these superficial flaws, they also revel in childish behavior. They like to sit in the floor and watch cartoons while eating Captain Crunch on Saturday morning. They like to play video games, not just the "socially acceptable for adults" games like Call of Duty or Halo, but colorful kid games like Pokemon. Many girls see such things as childish or immature, so they shun such behavior. Then they wonder why they can't get or keep a nerdy boyfriend.
4. Your expectations are too high.
This goes hand-in-hand with number three on this list. A lot of girls say they want a nerdy boyfriend. But they don't just want any nerdy guy, he has to be over six feet, with brown hair, green eyes, and named Josh. Okay, so maybe most girls aren't THAT specific in their list of requirements, but you get the point. Just like guys who fantasize about super models, women have some very unrealistic expectations from the men they date. Most nerds aren't tall, handsome, and charismatic. In order to date a nerd, you may have to settle for that short, fat, freckled guy with glasses and a stuttering problem.
5. You think it's okay to make fun of them.
I've noticed that a lot of girls think it's okay to make fun of the nerdy guy they are crushing on or dating. This is NOT a good idea. Nerds have had to put up with ridicule for years, why would they want to put up with it from their girlfriend? Another thing you should avoid doing is making fun of or laughing at other nerds, as we also find that very offensive. It's like calling someone the n-word in front of your black boyfriend. Believe it or not, there is a sense of camaraderie between us nerds. If I see you making fun of some poor awkward guy, telling him he'll die a virgin, why should I date you? You just made yourself seem like a mean person to me and all the other nerds.
6. You try to change them.
One thing that baffles me is why women seek out nerds, then try to change everything about them that makes them a nerd. If they wear geeky superhero shirts you want to replace those with band t's. If they collect action figures you want to throw those in the trash. If they watch cartoons or play video games you want to make them stop. I always say you should never enter into or stay in a relationship based on the assumption the person will change for you. So please don't date nerds if you're going to have a problem with them being nerds.