Why make dating generalizations?

Why make dating generalizations?

Not just on here, but in real life, I read/hear people say real sh*t like:

- My last bf cheated on me, so all men are dogs!

- Black women are always angry, so I'm not dating one!

- Black men are all super horny, and are going to cheat on me! So I won't date one (this black man doesn't cheat, so nice generalization...:) ;) )

- X nationality don't like men/women like me, so I won't date one.

- Y nationality don't know how to respect women, so I won't date a man from Y country!!

I'm literally laughing when typing these points, because they're stupid beyond measure...well to me at the least. However, whilst humans do generalize on some level, an important point to note is....we're all different....yes, that's right. Every human is unique....

Unique physicality, unique background, unique experiences, unique culture, unique likes, needs, dislikes, and wants....

So all men cannot be or behave the same way on this basis. All black women/men cannot, all X and Y nationality people cannot....you see the picture?

When dating, and perhaps in life generally, it's best to see humans as individuals. Sure, there are common points, in terms of shared attitudes, beliefs, behaviors on many levels, but then just because, say, most Westerners hate racism it doesn't mean every Westerner does. Or because Arab countries mistreat women, doesn't mean every Arab person thinks it's right. So when dating, see the uniqueness in each person, and once you know them, either choose to date or don't date, it's one choice and a free world after all......


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What Girls Said 12

  • Good point. I agree... one should give someone a chance and not just assume things due to a few bad experiences. It's the worst when people just think they know everything about you and who you are based on your appearance or other factors.

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  • I hate generalizations especially when you end up with someone and they expect you to be a certain way or do something because of the people that they have previously dated.

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  • I don't generalize (anymore), but you gotta admit, there are patterns of behavior...

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  • I know the feeling. I absolutely hate generalizations, it is unfair to the other people who are different and are labeled the same as everyone else. Great take.

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    • Exceptions don't break the rule

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    • Honey of course every man are not jerk. You can say every man are jerk. I can get it. But that doesn' t mean every man are jerk. If it were, I would reject it. Cause I'm not a jerk, I'm sweet. Anyway, it is technical generalization. We just say it. It is worded. And you had met the jerk guys in your life, from your experiments, you can say all men are jerk. Cause it's reasonable. If it's reasonable, that's fine.

      So it's not important to make a generalizing It is important to make reasonable generalizations.
      Reasoble is right. Unreasonable ones are not.

    • Exactly what I am trying to get across. Just one question: what would be a resonable generalization? Love the username by the way, Green Day is great.

  • My boyfriend and one other guy that I dated recently came out their thoughts about me. They assumed that I did not like black men, because I was with them. Honestly, it was really funny. I never would have thought that they assumed this about me. I never go into details about ex's, much less their ethnicity, so their imaginations are free to run wild.

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  • men are not dogs. dogs are faithful

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  • Why generalize at all? I'm a black woman, and if guys don't find me attractive, then oh well. I can't do anything to change that.
    Men are horny regardless of their race.

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  • I try not to profile people but after a few bad seeds in the same general area or type of men im guilty of this.. i know every person is unique in their own way but sometimes its all to familiar

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  • I learned how to ignore generalizations. Although, I am not going to lie. Sometimes they make me feel badly.

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  • I understand your point. But it's something that some people can't help but do. Not everyone has every single second in the world to get to know someone to prove something. I guess they do that to save themselves from wasting time and getting hurt. To me it's okay to judge or assume (as long as we keep it ourselves), we're human, we tell lies, we can't read minds. To me the worst part of being judgmental or assuming something is if you treat someone based on your proofless judgement or if it keeps you from opening chances for other people. Being judgmental, assuming, generalizing is actually a loss. A loss of opportunities.

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    • Exceptions don't break the rule

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    • by the way I've been a victim of generalization in dating, so I don't like it either. But oh well...

    • Meh ok.. not bothered..

  • I agree and I'm glad you posted this

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  • It's human to be prejudice and assume a certain ethnic group or religion is the same, no one is perfect and ALL HUMANS are guilty of judging someone by their appearance or a group. Does not make it right but I hate when people act like they never done it before

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    • i don't do it... and yes, humans are prejudiced.

    • black people are most prejudiced.
      They say blacks are nice.
      Isn't that generalization? Yes, it is.
      But no one reject it cause black people want to hide their wrongs. Two faced

What Guys Said 8

  • Everyone makes generalizations - not just about dating.
    Do you know how many Caucasian's I've heard saying "All Chinese people are bad drivers".

    Generalizations or stereotypes can be harmful for people trying to find a relationship. If they think all men are dogs, or all women are gold diggers, they are only choosing to see the qualities that support their theories and completely ignore the qualities that make others great people.

    A woman who thinks all guys are dogs may freak when her date is caught turning his head to look at a girl. All that means is that he is prone to noticing an attractive woman. But people will interpret that to mean he is a cheater, or he's dishonest... etc.

    In fact, turning your head to look at a hot girl actually means you're honest.
    Pretending you don't notice by not turning your head, but following her breasts with your eyes only is dishonest haha. But it tells you nothing of whether the person would actually cheat.

    So people who make these generalizations only focus on the worst qualities of people. Nobody will make them happy, so they end up in crappy relationships of their own doing.

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  • people make dating generalizations because they WANT to. Just like people make racial generalizations because they WANT to. When people can admit that, the world will be a better place.

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  • Yeah another one is how they say women only want a man who's very sexually experienced as well as experienced in relationships or else it's a deal breaker. Not all women are like that, there are some who might but those are the ones to avoid.

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  • I won't date black women because I'm not attracted to them... is that generalisation?

    People call me racist... tssscchh

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  • Why make any generalizations at all?

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  • Agreed. I really can't stand when people post that kind of stuff...

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  • These points are stupid to you because you're black.
    If you were white, you'd know that most generalizations about nationalities are right anyways.

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    • no because i dont see how its related to race... your point is rationally thought out but meh.. whatever...

  • We make generalisations because they're useful - not because we think they're universally accurate. You could spend your whole life checking if all goats have hooves, or you could check a few and work with the assumption that they all do - and then get on with your life. Why waste your time on the off chance you've hit it lucky with the exception to the rule.

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    • all goats have hooves, but not all men are liars/cheaters... i don't get your analogy, but meh..

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    • Yes, Anon! Yes!

    • Anonymus is right. Everyone generalize
      It is important to be them are reasonable.
      If generalizing is reasonable, then it is ok. And normal certainly.
      If you think otherwise, you already did a generalization generalizing- enemies. !

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