Domestic Violence; It Can Happen To Anyone!

Domestic Violence it can happen to anyone! !

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including threats or violence.

Did you know that MEN are victim's of nearly 3 million physical assaults in the USA?

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime

Domestic Violence

1 in 3 female homicides are due to former or current boyfriends every year

THE NUMBER 1 FACT: Most domestic violence is never reported!

Here's my story:

I had been suspicious of my boyfriend cheating on me, saying he would pick up extra shifts etc. one day I found a letter from a girl this was probably in February of 2012. He became very defensive when asked and would accuse me of sleeping with others at work, call me names.

April 21st 2012
I made plans to go out with my cousin, prior to going out Brandon and I got in a fight because I wouldn't let him have my car or keys. He ended up leaving walking to his mom's on other side of town. I left with my cousin. During our outing I had several voice mails stating that he better not find out I'm with a guy...I went home to get some sleep for work next day..where I got more voicmails stating if I don't answer the phone he was going to come to my apartment and slash my tires and I wouldn't go to work. Scared I called back he said he was coming over.

During that time I got a phone call from a girl asking me who I was and how I knew Brandon. She told me he had told her he lived with his sister. She got my number because his texts were read aloud when he received them, his phone died so he had his mom's so he gets to my house in which I hang up with the girl, confront him ask him who Jaime is he denies, told him she just called me and to fess up. I told him to get out of my damn house, refused, I went to grab my phone to call the cops to remove him as he had no legal rights to my apartment, he grabbed me tackling me to the ground punching me in the face, and then squeezed my mouth so hard I had bruises on my chin, mouth and even bruising inside my mouth, I started not being able to breathe from him being on top of me and shaking me, started to lose consciousness. I told him I was going to scream he let me up I went to my bedroom plastic bag in hand, starting to throw everything of his in it, handed it to him, and told him to get the fuck out of my house.

Still refused so I said I'm leaving, as I walked out the door he said he knew where my son was and how to get to him, I told him if he EVER touches my son I would kill him, walked out the door and ran to my car crying, I called the girl told her what happened she told me to come over in which I called the cops, told them my story they took at least 50 pictures of me, I learned I had bruising on my neck arms and back from everything. they told me I had to go to apartment to unlock it otherwise they'd have to have a search warrant, so I went and unlocked it where they arrested him...

The ONLY thing I cared about wasn't even the pain I was in, it was my son he's all I could think about, the last time I told him I loved him, kissed him, hugged him all I cared about was seeing him again. after they arrested him, I got ready for work as best as I could tried covering up my face as much as possible.

April 23rd 2012
I went into police station to file a restraining order and to let the police get the threats in texts and voicmails off my phone. Never looked back.

December 18 2012
He violated my restraining order in which I filed another report. Since the 2nd court proceeding he's left me alone completely! I suffer from anxiety because of all this but taking medicine helps calm me..

if my story could just help one then telling my story was worth it

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE KNOWS NO AGE, COLOR, BACKGROUND, GENDER

Thank you for reading! !


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What Guys Said 23

  • :'( I don't think I'd sleep today. I just read Buchita's take on which someone mentioned that you suffered from same circumstances too.
    After reading this, I think I can never forget you in my life. That heroic act trembled my consciousness.
    Thank you so much for this, I #Salute you Rcjh and greet you with reverence.

    Where is your son? Is he okay?

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    • he's 5 and with me no worries:):):) he was arrested that night and spent like 90 days in jail. like I said to toad-1 my SON was the only thing that I thought about telling myself that I can through it that my 2 year old at the time NEEDS his mommy. .. quite honestly the heart breaking thing was him at 2 trying to kiss mommy's owies to make them go away and make them better... because he knows that is what his mommy does for his... and they wouldn't go away... but thank you so much for reading. ... I didn't grow up the best either read my story @mistninja314 question about traumatizing experience. . but nothing compared to buchitas story. ...

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    • Thanks to @mistninja314 for taking me here & he's right you're one of the most unique GAGer :-)

    • thanks hun... again thank you for reading

  • Wow @Rcjh1987 im glad you made it out alive! I think that guy should be locked up for awhile

    someone on Buchitas take mentioned you wrote one, so i decided to check it out.

    Oh and you really care about your child, thats very admirable! :)

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    • he got probation for a year, violated it once in which I filed another report, had to go through all of it over again. got more probation. would I do it again absolutely! !! it was @mistninja314 that mentioned me actually he was part of my inspiration to write a take on it. . my son is my life and whole world he was the only thing that got me through what was taking place... my son needed me!!! I didn't want him to grow up without his mommy! !

    • Awww that is soo touching to hear. you sound like a great mom! :')

    • just being honest hun, thank you! !! he deserves it!!! the most important thing to me is that he knows everyday that his mommy love's him to the moon and stars and back as I tell him.

  • People are all psychotic. Lifeless TV stooges with no common sense or avid rational. Taught to learn and not to think.

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  • actually men are more often victims to domestic violence than women... kind of sad, that most campeigns against domestic violence have a focus on female victims.

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    • I know it does it really is sad they need to change, have campaigns be both genders and all races and ages...

    • i think we should not only try to reach the victims too... i mean the culprits have to change! not the victims xD

    • I agree, but some of them are in denial and don't think they have a problem, but for the ones that seek help that's great , I know that my ex had to go to anger management classes..

  • shit happens

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  • This was a great Take to read. Thank you so much for opening up like that and sharing such a personal story. I'm sure it'll reach and be of real benefit to someone.

    Also, congratulations for overcoming! That's awesome. :-)

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  • it's a shame...

    good you're trying to promote this and prevent it!

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  • Get married and get buried.

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  • I am a male, between the ages of 27 and 33. I am trained in numerous martial arts
    and I was in the U. S. Marine Corps for over 10 years. I'm also 225 lbs of muscle and
    I was in an abusive relationship (Physically and mentally) for over two years. I won't waste any ones time. But if you want to hear my story comment and I'll post it. I almost lost everyone and everything in my life by staying with this woman and it wasn't until I woke the fuck up after numerous disasters that I realized I had to get out and it was a night mare

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    • Dont be disrespectful. This is a serious thing that both men and woman go through. Now to side note you boot fu$&!! You haven't even gotten through basic! Your motivation will end as soon as that drill instructor has that ass well at least if you were going to the corps but good luck army strong.

    • I would like to hear it

  • It is more prevelent than what statistics say, because lots of gomestic violence go unreported, with women silently suffering because of various reasons like, financila, childre, social

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  • Good take. Lots of people including me have let themselves stay a victim. I was abused as a child and let myself get into a violent relationship with a woman. It took a while for me to leave.

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    • I wasn't necessarily abused as a child physically, but emotionally I was

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    • So am I have you ever told your story?

    • Some of it to you yes.

  • This is why If I ever have a daughter I wanna teach her how to defend herself just encase she's in the same situation as you, but for future preferences I know a lot of girls who have pepper spray, tazers, and pocket knifes.

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  • You're so brave!' A hero really! Muauh

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  • Thank you for sharing your story RC! I had no idea that you were exposed to this in the past. Physical violence doesn't discriminate as it can happen to anyone! I'm just glad to hear that you and your son are okay at the end of the day. You're one very strong woman RC and you've certainly got my respect :-)

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  • Thanks so much for this take! This is valuable information. I'm glad you're able to use your experiences for good and education instead of letting them go to waste.

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    • thanks and your welcome. ... I feel obligations to help others after almost 3 years I feel safe

  • That was quite disturbing to read, I give you credit for being strong and sharing this. Hopefully things improve.

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    • I know it was but like I said want to help other's by sharing. ... I feel obligations to help. ... thank you so much for reading

  • Great take, crappy story, though it was told well and very informative. I was in a situation like this as the victim, I always let it go because men are NOT favored in these situations.

    I wrote out an explanation but it was longer than your mytake, so I deleted it, lol. DA sucks, for sure.

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  • Reaaly exciting

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  • WOW im so sorry to hear you were even subject to this type of thing. So glad you were able to get to a phone and call the police. I think you are right that it can happen to anyone. Im also very glad you are using your story to help others who might find themselves in a similar situation

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    • there's a way out... I had a very supportive family granted they wanted to kill him... some people don't have that. .. it took my 2 years to feel safe

    • Well im glad you are bringing awareness from your experiences and possibly help someone who doesn't know what to do

  • Yikes! I'm sorry. You're way better off without this guy.

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    • I left him right there and then never looked back awhile ago I had heard he got in a horrible car wreck but I didn't check into it

    • Yeah, I remember you telling me that earlier. Karma I suppose.

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What Girls Said 16

  • This is an incredible take, thank you for sharing.

    Domestic violence is a very serious issue and I think it happens more often than people realize. You're a strong person for standing up to him and getting the police involved. It makes me sad when people stay in abusive relationships because they feel they have no way out.

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    • he broke me down in isolation and verbally, but I knew I was a strong person just didn't know how strong. ... my son is whom I get to thank he's what got me through. .. nothing was as heartbreaking as my 2 year old kissing my ouies and him saying mommy do you feel better, and mommy they aren't going away, asking me if I need a bandaid😂😂

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    • That's truly wonderful and so true, children are blessings. And of course! I enjoyed reading it :)

    • blessings and so much more

  • Glad you won the fight... P. s. I thought the art of writing a letter has completely died.

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  • That's so scary having been pummeled... what's scarier is the thought of anyone hurting your child.
    Thanks for this love! My thoughts are with you.

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    • I didn't even care at that point that I was bleeding and bruised I knew I had to get help... he threatened my son to me so I would stay so he thought. ... there would have not been a next time. ... thank you for reading girlie! !!

  • I love how you said it can happen to anyone, but only mentioned women statistics LMAO!

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    • I'm pretty sure you can't read either since my first statistic I said that men account for nearly 3 million victim's in the USA

    • Oh I know, but women like you think that mainly men are abusers

    • I'm pretty sure I didn't say that either anywhere I've known men that have been in domestic violence relationships, there's 4 in my support group,

  • My ex was psycho, emotionally abusive and sexually assaulted me before, as well as shouting at me for not having sex with him. He slapped me three times on my 17th birthday but wasn't too hard, though my lip felt swollen. It's horrible. I left with anxiety, PTSD and now it appears I've developed acute stress disorder. It messes you up and even nearly three years on, he contacts me with verbal abuse and gets jealous about guys talking to me! If I get annoyed, he tells me to contact him about it but I never do. Right now I'm receiving messages asking if I've gotten over my ex's, if I'd be friends with them etc, I know it's him wondering if we can talk again. They don't let go easily!
    I've grown up and still live with an emotionally abusive, mad father so it never ends.
    I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it really changes you for the worst.

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    • have you changed numbers, blocked him on social media? I was scared my ex was going to come after me for awhile. but he found a new girlfriend..

    • Oh, I don't have his number and he's not on my FB, though he isn't blocked. He doesn't bother me too much. I wasn't too worried about my ex doing anything because he didn't beat me or threaten my life.

    • well then no worries if doesn't bother you

  • Yes iv faces it once in my life... but time goes buy

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  • It makes me feel good for you that you took immediate action instead of suffering in silence. What a pathetic piece of shit if a man.

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  • I have been, it happened twice. It was not a beat down, he just got rough. Never happened again and he saw a therapist. Sometimes tempers are lost and sometimes we make mistakes. However we were both smart enough to recognize where we were falling short in our relationship, how we were treating each other, where we could improve. I refuse to believe I was a victim. Being a victim is counter productive. Action is needed. We both took action, I set my boundaries, he learned to walk away when he felt he was losing his temper, I learned to keep mouth closed and not add fuel to the fire. And while I know that our family, friends, and professional help that we sought is what played a huge part in repairing and building up our relationship, I am a firm believer that without genuine love for each other and a spirit of forgiveness we wouldn't have been able to make our relationship work. Also you have to have a level of self respect, if you don't respect yourself neither will others.

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  • Well thought out take.

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  • Thank you for this take. I come from a home of severe domestic violence. My mama for some reason never wanted to leave my dad. It got to the point he almost stabbed her to death before my own eyes. It is horrifying, and something that men and women should NEVER be afraid or ashamed to speak out against. My mama said that she never thought he'd get that violent, as I'm sure many victims never do. It's important to speak out as soon as things get abusive. I'm very grateful to whomever made that call to the police all those years ago. If the cops hadn't shown up in time, my father would have taken my mother's life in front of his children and who knows how far he would've gone. Whichever neighbor it was that made that call, I would love to thank them cuz they saved my mama's life and possibly all of my siblings and mine.

    You are very smart to get a restraining order and I'm glad that he has stopped harassing. It takes more courage than people know to "just leave" an abuser, and it's a good thing you had that.

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  • Amazing take and thank you for the sense of empowerment you are sending out to all. Now a quick question... can a male (potential boyfriend) suggestion on not being alone when I go to places and later on saying "I thought we agreed you weren't going to go alone anymore" be signs of future abuse?

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  • Thanks so much for sharing your story! It must have taken lots of courage to talk about your situation but it is sure to help others understand and comprehend that they're not alone. You're a brave woman and I have much respect for prioritizing your son, just like it should be. ☺You deserve nothing but the best and I hope that coward never goes near you again.
    You are an example to others that domestic violence is not okay and no one should permit it. Speaking up is essential and the only way to stop it is to act and say something. I definitely agree with the last part; it can happen to anyone.
    Thanks again for your take. It is truly valuable!! :)

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    • I was ok with it up until I was writing honey bee back on her post on here then the water works started talking about my son trying to make it better by kissing my boo boos. i will not stand for it I'd help anyone I could. .. I knew if I stayed there wouldn't be a next time. .. men are victim's just as females... if I could be their voice I would in a heartbeat. .

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    • I bet he is, has to take after his beautiful mom. :)
      Definitely and no problem, best of luck to you, blessings and happiness for you and your son! ^.^

    • awww hehe thanks... you too

  • That was fantastic you spoke out for the awful things you had experienced. It was informative, well done for leaving him :)

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  • Wow you are a strong woman, hats off to you.

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  • Amazing take and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Having children involved really does make it so much more scary.
    I'm so glad you got away when you did and I hope you never see him again. You deserve a lot better!

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  • Domestic violence is a serious issue, and sometimes I wonder how many people go through it without speaking out.

    Thank you for speaking out, it was brave, and it helps everyone to know it can happen with just about anyone.

    Good for you for standing up to him, and handling the situation so well.

    Take care.

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    • I'm sure the numbers are crazy! !!! after the fact I found out he did it to both of his exs, me being ONLY one who reported him..

    • This is so true; once again, it was brave of you to report him, I'm sure that wasn't an easy step to take. There must be so much going through your mind at how serious the issue can get once you reported it; but you went ahead and did it, and that was truly admirable.

      Hats off to you!

    • if he was bailed out and after him coming to work was on my mind (he eventually did) which I reported again. .. I changed numbers and relocated the next weekend staying at my dads...

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