"Before you date my daughter, you need to comply to all of this bullshit."
Yeah, yeah, I get it, you have loved her since she was born and you will be the man who will always love her most and you have loved her the longest. Okay, I understand that. I'm a good guy, she knows I'm a good guy, and you'll eventually see that I'm a good guy.
You've heard that it's your role to become the overstated protector of your daughter dating.
Yeah, your daughter isn't that special. Well, to me, she is the most special person I know, but to the vast majority of everyone else, she's just one person of the seven billion on the planet. But I chose her, and she chose to let me. There really are other fish in the sea, and I ignored those fish so I could try to be with your daughter. Because to me she means a lot more than those other fish, and you should appreciate that. It's not like everyone loves her, and there ARE a limited number of people who will love her in her life.
But you don't want me to talk to you except to ask permission about her and when she needs to be home? Yeah, that's a real fucking great way to get to know me. No conversations or anything, just making me follow rules that most guys would easily follow simply to get some pussy? You're a real fuckin' smart dad if you think you can judge a guy completely by how complacent he'll become if he can get laid in the end. Weren't you a teenage boy at some point? You know how most of them think. But you don't know how I think. Your trials will not ever show how much I care about your daughter, because they are trials set by a dictator who will take her away if I fail, so I follow them for the sake of following them. Not because they are necessary. Not because they are foolproof. Because you think that you can find a guy who's worthy of dating your daughter by changing them into someone they might not be temporarily, so they can get in your daughter's pants. Your rules just cause stress for your daughter and the actual good guys, and they won't filter all the bad guys.
You want your daughter to find love, don't you? You want your daughter to be able to think on her own, don't you? Why try to reprimand the good guys, scare them off, or make them hate you just because you wanted to seem like a stereotypical overprotective father? It's okay. There are good guys out there. In fact, most guys, and people are inherently good. But for now, you're stuck with a specific good guy who likes your daughter, and this time it's not you.
But you won't let her date me if I'm a minute late from her curfew? If I accidentally forget to say "yes sir"? You know, everyone makes mistakes, even good guys who are trying to please girl's fathers. I'm only human. Obviously I won't try to disappoint you or her, but why badger me about tiny insignificant mistakes. And even more obvious is that once she moves out or eventually marries me or whatever, I won't have to follow all of these rules anyway?
What you should do to find a guy worthy of dating your daughter is to spend a day hanging out with him. No, you're not above all the guys who date your daughter. Trust me, when your daughter gets married, and when you get old, that guy will become like a son to you. There is some random teenage guy out there in the world who will eventually become your son-in-law, and it isn't that bad. Besides, you have probably dreamt of reliving your teenage years many, many times. You can't get closer to those years than if you hang out with a teenage guy. If he's a complete douche, you will know right away, and you can ditch him. But when you spend a day with me and see how good of a person I am, and realize that I truly care about your daughter and wouldn't do anything to hurt her, then you will see how easily you can learn without enforcing those ridiculous rules.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just a teenage guy too lazy to follow rules. Sure, sure. Except, the thing is, I probably would follow them. It would just make me dislike you more if they're exceptionally ridiculous, and how would that help anyone? Of course, if they're standard rules that I'll follow anyway, that's great. But don't pretend to be on some high horse just because you are my date's father. I really do want to get to know you, and your family, and obviously your daughter, but I want to get there in the best way possible. Because there will be a guy who stays for her life eventually, and why is his impression on you so much more important than your impression on him?