I take it as complete disrespect when a male stares/ hits on my Girlfriend

[toke420]

For quite some time now i've browsed the internet looking for some other opinions on the matter and to be honest, I was very surprised at what I found.

Basically, I get very frustrated when my girlfriend gets stared at and hit on all the time. I'm a guy, and I work with other guys. Not only that, I've met a lot of men in my life lol. Let me tell you something. Men don't give a shit if you're in a relationship, Married, nothin. They don't care! They will look, stare, bark, touch - whatever! In fact, not ONCE have I ever heard a guy go, "Damn! Look at her! Man her boyfriend is SO lucky." lmao

Now how the hell is another man that I don't know, capable of anything, sexually aroused by my Wife, a COMPLIMENT to ME in absolutely ANY way? In fact, how is that a compliment to my Wife in any way?

I was reading that when someone admires your girlfriend or whatever, you should take it as a compliment. It should make you feel good. It makes me feel threatened...! Some guys LIKE when their girlfriend/ wives dress up and make guys drool all over it. Like... wtf?? Can you try any harder to make your Wife's head a little bit bigger? What kind of world are we living in where its arousing for men to have other men sexually admire your wife? Someone said, "You're insecure. Stop treating her like an object, she's her own person so she can wear what she wants." Insecure? That isn't even an applicable word to use?? I feel disrespected! Not insecure? Treating her like an OBJECT? WHAT? If I WERE to be treating her like an object, this would be a totally different ball game! Shit, first thing I wanna do when I get a nice new car (object) IS SHOW EVERYONE! Fact is... she's NOT an object! I DON'T own her! She is a PERSON lol and a person I'm trying to build my life with in the reality which leaves a lot of risk. People are easily swayed. Women are only Human and I'm sorry but nobody can endure that type of attention and not think something of it.

Now I really do trust her. She isn't a cheater and I don't suspect her of cheating or anything. But all I'm saying is, it happens all the time. I don't really think anyone really plans on cheating, but it sure makes it pretty easy when you have your pick anywhere you go.

To end, I blame television, music; the whole entertainment industry for blatently sexualizing our society, putting sex appeal before morals, and objectifying women.

-My take

[Anonymous]

The plain and simple: you shouldn't date an attractive girl if you also can't handle other guys finding her attractive and looking at her.

It's common sense that many guys don't think about when they're going after the girl. They only think of the prize, and not the price. They think "She's so pretty. Once I get her, we'll be a couple and be happy and I can enjoy her beauty and... ah this will be great!".

But just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean she just becomes invisible to the world or she wears a sign that says "Taken, don't look at me". Hell, most guys won't even know she's taken (nor will they care) because they're just looking at her. You can't control who looks where and if you're getting upset about a lack of control on that level, you seriously need to slow it down and re-think (or think for the first time) "WHY am I getting upset about this? What is really going on and what is it doing to me?"

What this all boils down to, I think, is that feeling of being threatened as well as a lack of control over it (and the dudes looking). It's a perfectly natural response to feel that little whinge of jealousy when it seems like something is a threat. But you're not in control of that, by the sound of this post. Your knee jerk response is jumping into the drivers seat and you're letting it run away from you.

These guys, they're not touching her, making her feel uncomfortable, running away with her, or anything like that. They are LOOKING at her. Try as much as you want, but you are never going to be able to control where these guys look or what thoughts they have in their head. So what it sounds like is that you're out of control of your responses, as well as wanting to control the uncontrollable. You'd rather the whole world not know your wife/girlfriend exists (impossible), rather than just learning to not sweat it (possible).

TL;DR
You're being irrational

[Anonymous]

You bring up great points that I agree with: Women are not objects. You don't own your gf. And you're right, there is a huge problem with the way the media portrays women.
It's like when a dude catcalls a woman or is overly explicit and then says "what, you can't take a compliment?" harassment is not a compliment.
Obviously there is a difference between other guys harassing your gf or honestly complimenting her. And you are completely entitled to your feelings. You are allowed to feel threatened or uncomfortable.
At the same time, this is the reality of our society. If someone actually harasses her, then you can do something about that. But if someone innocently compliments her, you will have to find a way to overcome these feelings. It's great that you trust her. But if hearing compliments upsets you this much, you don't want those bad feelings to build up inside of you.
I think people say you should take it as a compliment, because think of it this way: yes, she has her pick of all these guys. But out of all of them, she CHOSE you. And that's something you can focus on. You don't own her, she is free to make her own choices. And that choice is YOU :)

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

You are insecure it has EVERYTHING to do with it, you basically just went into detail about how threatened you are by other men and how you don't trust your misses to resist temptation. You seem to think it's only a matter of time. Maybe you would give in after so many advances but that doesn't mean she will.

You are insecure otherwise you would be totally fine with it on, maybe a little annoyed when the attention is too much but a secure and confident person who totally trusts his partner would not get this annoyed at such a silly thing.

Of course it's a compliment more than a lack of respect, your girlfriend is hot!

You also have a real shitty opinion of men. Don't judge everyone by what you would do, a lot of guys wouldn't fuck another mans wife or girlfriend. Obviously you aren't one of them but there are some decent people out there despite your view of things.

[kat511]

The comments are rude and disrespectful and I can understand why you would be upset by this but the staring Part is just human nature. when I see a really cute guy in a store I unconsciously glance at him a few times not because I don't respect his girlfriend but because I'm human and have a chemical attraction to him that I can't control. Humans are animals and this is what happens naturally to animals but what makes us different than other animals is that we can choose to act on it or not. That's just something in life you'll just have to accept because as long as people have eyes their gonna look and that's just something you'll have to accept. As long as your girlfriend doesn't act on it and run away with him then your fine.

[Kshppatel]

OP why do you have to be mad? Dudes think your girl is hot. Deal with it. Stop complaining when you have so much going for you. Dudes can hit on your girl all they want but when it comes down to it, its up to your girl to not act on it. Don't blame these dudes for doing what they would normally do. They don't give a fuck lol. So why should they give a fuck just because you're mad? Stay mad OP.

[YourFutureEx]

Good take :-)
But sir, sometimes when we admire, there is no envy behind it.

[rocelot]

Stop pushing your insecurities onto your girlfriend. Your girlfriend will thank you for it.

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling you are from another culture. Perhaps from the South Asian Subcontinent.