Why Guys Shouldn't Pay For Dates - Giavelto
Feb 14, 2015
Hey everyone, happy Valentine's Day. I'd like to get into something I've been thinking about lately.
Today I saw a date deal-breaker on another thread here on G.A.G. that really pushed my buttons:
When men don't pay for the date
Excuse me but I thought this was 2015. Personally, I absolutely hate it when girls assume that because the person taking them out is a guy, he is obligated to pay for the entire outing/meal. For me, it just seems really manipulative for a girl to ask a guy she is not even in a relationship with to pay for her and everything they do on that date. Moreover, I would argue that men SHOULDN'T pay for girls they're not exclusive with for the following reasons:
1. She could easily be stringing you along for the free meal, outing, etc. At least if things don't work out between you two, you were out doing fun stuff without paying for someone else other than you.
2. Paying creates expectations. In the past, if a guy took a girl out for dinner and paid for her meal, it was arguably part of the deal that she would come back to his place. If you're in a relationship, that can be a cute gesture to pay for your SO, but if this is someone you're non-exclusive with, it's a slippery slope. Especially if this is something expensive like a nice dinner, this can really suck if not everything goes according to your plan of paying for her.
3. Paying sets a bad precedent. If things really do take off with this girl, do you really want to pay for her all the time? You should make it clear you'd like to be her boyfriend, not her ATM. Unless you're a rapper or someone with cash to burn, I'd recommend not going down this path.
4. Paying does her a disservice as a person. If paying for your date is something you really don't want to do, but feel obligated because you want to get with this girl, then clearly she is seeing her value as something that can be cashed in for jewelry, food, etc. This is likely not always going to be the case in her life going forward. Standing up to your date's expectations will likely help her be a happier, healthier person in the long run and might be a good reality check for her.
5. Refusing to pay makes you look like a boss. It is hard to deny that there are few things that women love more than confidence. Well how confident does that make you look if you stick to what you believe in and tell this person that's not how you want to be treated? Even if she storms off in a huff afterwards, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you set your boundaries and cleared space in your life for someone better to come along.
Cheers guys/gals, let me know what you think in the comments below!